When Will Meets Sam
Sam: Oh, Mr. McKeithen I've heard a lot about you.
Will: It's Keaton, but that's okay, it's more than one syllable, so I don't blame you for struggling.
Sam: Oh that's right you're a words guy. That's cool. Me, too. I'm a lawyer, though, so, my words actually matter.
Will: ... I'm sorry -- did you just... brag about being a lawyer? Like, you thought that was a... win?
Sam: Listen, I get it: it confuses you because it's a real job, and that's not something you're familiar with.
Will: You know what? You're so right, and I'm sorry. I only bring joy and excitement and adventure and thrills and not a little bit of horniness to millions of people. But you do your little terms and conditions and think you're important. It's cute!
Sam: Cute? Keaton, are you hitting on me?
Will: Y'know, I would, but I'm too busy having sex with women to indulge your Top Gun fantasies.
Sam: You shut your fucking mouth about Top Gun.
Will: ...You know what. I'm sorry. You're right.
Sam: I mean... Will. Honestly. Top Gun.
Will: You're right! I'm... sorry. I'm so sorry.
[Pause.]
Will: [Extends his hand.] You can be my wingman any time.
Sam: This is super gay.
Will: Exactly.
Sam: ...Damn straight.
["Playing with the Boys" plays and Isaac has sex with more women than both of them combined.]















