#(giggles)

You sat cross-legged on a bench made of some impossibly dense, Xenonite composite material, watching Ryland fiddle with a laptop. His hair was a bird's nest of stress, a pencil was jammed behind his ear, and he was muttering under his breath about Astrophage cross-contamination metrics.

"Ryland," you said, leaning your head back against the wall. "I think your boyfriend is back."

"Rocky is not my boyfriend, we are science-allies," Ryland corrected automatically, not looking up from his screen. "And he said he was going to fetch a specialist in structural engineering to look at the fuel line blueprints. He should have been back twenty minutes ago."

A heavy, rhythmic thud-thud-thud echoed down the corridor. It was the distinct sound of Eridian motion—five-legged, heavy, and metallic. But as the door hissed open, it wasn't just Rocky’s familiar, bright carapace that stepped into the airlock. Behind him came another Eridian.

This one was… massive. Even by Eridian standards, where everyone looked like a sentient, five-sided boulder made of iron and basalt, this individual was imposing. Their carapace had a polished, almost glossy sheen to it, gleaming with deep, obsidian undertones.

Rocky practically bounced on his five legs, his vocoder chirping to life with a happy, musical series of notes. "Grace! [Name]! This is Oryx. Oryx is very good at big pipes. Best pipe-maker in Erid. Look, look!"

"Hi, Rocky," you waved, offering a tired smile. "Nice to meet you, Oryx."

Ryland finally looked up, his inner teacher instantly switching on. "Ah, Oryx! Welcome. We’ve been having some trouble with the pressure differentials in the main manifold. If you look at the—"

Ryland stopped.

Oryx hadn't moved toward the blueprints. Instead, the giant Eridian had slowly, deliberately rotated on their carapace was pointed directly at you. Then, with a slow, heavy tilt, they shifted their focus over to Ryland. Back to you. Back to Ryland.

A low, resonant hum began to vibrate through Oryx’s body. It wasn't the usual sharp, conversational clicking. It sounded like a massive pipe organ being played in a deep cave—a rich, rhythmic chord that literally rattled the fillings in your teeth.

You blinked, looking over at Ryland. "Is… is the structural engineer humming at us?"

"Maybe it's a greeting?" Ryland muttered, looking intrigued. He held up a hand. "Uh, hello, Oryx. We are humans. Meat-space-aliens. A-mi-gos."

Oryx didn't answer. Instead, they took three deliberate steps forward, crowding into your personal space. The sheer heat radiating from their iron-based biology felt like opening a preheated oven. You instinctively leaned back as a massive, clawed appendage reached out. But it didn't grab you. Instead, Oryx gently, incredibly gently, tapped the tip of one claw against your shoulder, and then duplicated the gesture on Ryland’s knee.

The organ-hum got louder, shifting into a jaunty, syncopated rhythm.

Rocky suddenly let out a sharp, panicked whistle. "Oryx! No! Bad! They are guests! They are friends! Do not do the rhythm!"

"They are magnificent," Oryx’s vocoder translated, though the tone came out in that flat, synthesized computer voice that contrast horribly with the absolute drama of their body language. "Look at their lack of carapace. So soft. So aerodynamic. Their skin moves when they breathe. Is highly erotic."

You froze. Ryland froze.

"I'm sorry," you said slowly, staring up at the giant, amorous space-rock. "Did the translator just say erotic?"

"Oryx is embarrassing!" Rocky clicked furiously, his legs clapping against the floorboards. "Oryx has strange mind! Oryx likes weird shapes! I told Oryx we are doing science, but Oryx said 'I want to see the squishy aliens from the cold star.' Oryx is pervert!"

Ryland’s mouth opened and closed like a landed carp. "I—we—we aren't… we're humans! We're made of water and carbon! We die if you drop us!"

"Water is beautiful solvent," Oryx hummed back smoothly. The giant Eridian then reached behind their back, where they had been holding a heavy, metallic container. With a flourish that felt remarkably like a suitor presenting a bouquet of roses, Oryx set the container down on the table right in front of you and Ryland.

They popped the latch. Inside was a pile of glowing, pulsing, radioactive-looking sludge. It smelled faintly of ammonia and burning rubber.

"I have brought you a gift of high-grade heavy metal isotopes," Oryx announced, their body tilting into what you could only assume was a seductive? stance. "Is was harvested from the deepest vents. Is very dense. Eat it and become strong for laying eggs."

You stared at the sludge. Then you looked at Ryland.

"Are you going to eat the courtship sludge, Ryland?" you asked, your voice trembling as you tried desperately to suppress a massive wave of hysterical laughter. "They think you need to get strong for egg-laying."

"I am not eating the radioactive heavy metals!" Ryland hissed, his face turning a brilliant shade of crimson. "And for the record, I don't lay eggs! Neither of us lay eggs!" He turned back to Oryx, waving his hands frantically. "Look, Oryx, thank you, really, it's very thoughtful. Very generous. But we can't digest this. It will literally liquefy our internal organs."

Oryx seemed to ponder this. The low hum changed keys, dropping into a sorrowful, minor chord. "A tragedy. So beautiful, yet so easily melted."

But Oryx was not a rock to give up easily.

For the next two hours, the "science meeting" turned into a bizarre, cross-species masterclass in courting. Oryx completely ignored the fuel line blueprints. Instead, they spent the entire time trying to impress the two bipeds.

First came the display of strength. Oryx casually picked up a three-ton piece of scrap machinery, hoisted it over their head with two limbs, and spun it around like a cheerleader’s baton, all while clicking a complex, rhythmic beat that Rocky informed you was an Eridian love ballad called "Your Density Inverts My Gravity."

You sat on the bench, chin in your hands, very entertained. "You know, Ryland, they’ve got great rhythm. And look at those metallic ridges. That’s a fine-looking specimen of a rock."

"Are you seriously checking out the alien?" Ryland snapped, though his eyes were bulging out wide as he watched Oryx effortlessly bend a steel bar into a neat, perfect heart shape. "They are a completely different phylum! They don't even have eyes!"

"I'm just saying, it's nice to be appreciated," you teased, leaning against his shoulder. "When was the last time you bought me high-grade isotopes or bent steel for me? I feel wooed."

"I built you a hydroponic salad bar!" Ryland protested, his voice cracking slightly.

Oryx suddenly dropped the steel heart on the floor with a loud CLANG. They scurried forward, stopping inches from the two of you. Before either of you could react, Oryx began to gently blow a stream of warm, highly filtered air from their exhalation vents directly over you both.

It felt like being stood in front of a giant, gentle hair dryer.

"Oh, wow," you mumbled, your hair blowing back. "That's actually kind of nice. Like a sauna."

"It is the scent of my home vent," Oryx explained softly. "It tells you that my territory is rich in sulfur and free of predatory molds. Come with me to my vent, squishy ones. I shall build you a nest of soft, fluffy blankets."

Ryland looked between you and the giant, vibrating alien. A deeply comical expression of sheer, unadulterated jealousy shadowed his face. He stood up, stepping squarely between you and Oryx, puffing out his chest in a display of human dominance that looked utterly ridiculous given that he was staring at an iron creature's midsection.

"Alright, look here, Oryx," Ryland said, putting his hands on his hips. "I appreciate the air-blowing and the lead blankets. Truly. But we are a package deal, and we are taken. We are partners. Comrades. Earth-mates. You can't just come in here with your high-density isotopes and try to steal us away to your sulfur vent!"

You bit your lip, trying so hard not to laugh that your ribs ached. Ryland Grace, savior of humanity, was currently picking a fight with an Eridian over who got to keep the humans.

Oryx tilted their body, processing Ryland's outburst. Then, the Eridian let out a sudden, high-pitched chirp.

"A joint territory defense!" Oryx gasped through the translator. "So fierce! So possessive! Your lack of a shell makes your anger look incredibly dramatic. I wish to be part of this collective. I shall be the third stone in your foundation."

Rocky groaned loudly, slapping his carapace with a claw. "Oryx, stop! You are making friends uncomfortable! They do not want to be a foundation! Go back to the pipe factory!"

"Wait," Ryland said, his brain stalling out. "Did they just propose a throuple?"

"I think they did," you laughed, finally breaking down into fistful of giggles. You stood up, walking around Ryland to pat Oryx’s warm, smooth carapace. "We're flattered, Oryx. Really. But human hearts are small, and we can only handle one disaster of a scientist at a time. We have to decline the nest."

Oryx stood perfectly still for a long moment. The organ-hum slowly faded into a quiet, disappointed click.

"The beautiful shapes have spoken," Oryx said mournfully. "I shall respect the boundaries of the fragile ones. But if your partnership crumbles like poor sandstone… think of the fluffy blankets."

With a dramatic, slow-motion turn, Oryx gathered up their radioactive sludge, gave one final, lingering hum in your direction, and shuffled out of the airlock, leaving a faint scent of sulfur and heartbreak in their wake.

The room fell silent. Rocky let out a long, exhausted whistle.

"I am sorry," Rocky said. "Oryx is very good engineer, but a very weird person."

"It's… fine, Rocky," Ryland breathed, rubbing his temples and sinking back into his chair. He looked over at you, his eyes narrowing slightly as you continued to chuckle. "You liked that a little too much."

"Oh, come on," you smiled, walking over and sliding onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Are you honestly jealous of a five-legged space rock?"

Ryland huffed, burying his face in your shoulder, his arms winding tightly around your waist as if to prove a point to the empty doorway. "They offered you a fluffy nest. I can't compete with that kind of real estate."

"You don't have to," you murmured, kissing his cheek. "You're the only squishy alien for me."

can some1 pls request eva stratt x reader x ryland grace plsplsplsplspls 🙏🤧😞