#((chat.))

if the notice has been taken, just as per future opinions of such, I’m kind of past bs really with tumblr which is why I don’t often follow ppl first anymore, it’s bizarre for me to even clarify but bc I do have slight ptsd with tumblr weirdos; I have had a very bad experience in the past about this so I need to quickly just clarify & put a pin on any future opinions/or room for negativity.

I am Asian period. I am Half Filipino and Half-Korean, Raised in Australia. I am the bread and butter of all kinds of bullying and racial discrimination both online and offline, and tbh? Tumblr wise, I’ve had enough of the shady racial shunning. To see the content I consume everyday get shunned out or made fun of really puts a bitter taste in my mouth. Very Not cool. I’ve seen it plenty of times in people’s rules and it makes me a bit uncomfortable, and I’m not going to change or remove any of my Asian muses just because you’re uncomfortable seeing an “Asian” character. Please do better.

i have both a balanced amount of east asian characters as well as western. Other than obvs i love them, im so happy to finally find people and have this space to share them with all of u, both ends bc theres one for everybody as well as for me, like i love exploring characters & being able to meet like minded ppl who share the same love/just fun with them. It gives me a sense of belonging <3

It took a long time for Cleo to make the grave. She left the body where it was, couldn’t even look at it. Pearl wasn’t much better. Everyone else was long gone when they carved the headstone. It was a slow process, spanning months. She could only work at it for a couple minutes at a time at most before hiding it again so she wouldn’t have to look at it.

But eventually she finished and together they went back to where Legs died and buried the body together. It had been sitting for months; it was starting to rot. They tried not to touch it. They didn’t bother with a coffin. Just straight in the ground and then they left it.

That’s probably why a year later when they finally mustered up the courage to come back they found a family of rabbits had made a home in his buried corpse. The gravestone was crumbling and dirty. It made them a little sick to look at. They decided he deserved better.

It was slow. Almost too slow. They recarved the headstone. Tidied up the area. Planted seeds. It was painful and slow, but he deserved a nice final rest.

They kept it up for years and it got easier. It was painful and hard but it was easier. It became natural for them to keep things growing. Healing is funny that way. First they’re fighting just to look at the bloody place and nothing will ever be okay again and then all of a sudden years have passed and it is second nature to be alive and at least somewhat alright despite everything.

Finally, or not finally, because even after they just kept going, it was not just a place where a good man died. Sure, there were bones buried there, but over years they’d been intertwined with rabbit holes and roots. Great trees and winding flowers. The birds made a nest in the tree that grew around his grave. A baby rabbit was born in his ribcage. One last terrible thing gave way to a million little beautiful things.

Ten years after they left, Drift and Shelby came back. They visited graves and Cleo and Pearl. Stayed for a week and it was awkward and strange and it hurt. They cried too much and too little. They left too soon and too late. They had tried to make Scott come too but he refused. And the next time and the next. They tried to come every couple years.

And for all their pushing, when Scott came back, he didn’t come with them. He just left one day, no note, no nothing. They came back and he was gone. He didn’t visit anyone alive. He went from grave to grave and apologized for hours, never said a word, though. He just sat there staring until the numb gave way to guilt and the guilt faded to something similar to a seed. He was not okay. Maybe one day he could be. Maybe okay was not end goal but something always growing.

No one expected Apo to come back. She didn’t either. When she left she promised everyone and herself she’d never go near Oakhurst again. Until she did. Thirty years later, she’d guess, she wasn’t keeping track anymore. They were restless, they needed to do something, go somewhere. It was hard to leave Cherri again. They did. Cried when they saw the grave. Saw what she could have become. Cried more when she saw the garden. She avoided everyone. She made a habit of coming back whenever she felt restless which was far too often. Avoided everyone til she came at the same time as Pearl and Cleo. They invited her back. Eventually she brought Cherri with her. Introduced her to everyone. Somehow it was nice.

More than no one expected Apo, no one expected Abolish to come back. No one thought he was particularly attached to anyone and after so long, they figured he was dead. It was half a century later when he did. Fifty years. Sure, he could have been alive that long. He shouldn’t have been. Not like that. Not when he still looked as old as he was when he left. He exchanged pleasantries, stayed for a day, and did the same the same day of the next year and the next and the next.