#'merca

Dear Canada,

Ugh. I regret having to sit through political ads. But I'd honestly take mudslinging over this passive-aggressive bullshit.

I also regret that there are slobs out there who will probably vote for this turd burglar based on this down-home "sadvertising."

So, according to this, you're appealing to the dullards because:

• You're a financial tightwad • You "get things done" regardless • You hate Obamacare

Tits. Let's take this one at a time, shall we?

• FINANCIAL TIGHTWAD You work for an investment firm that buys businesses. So, why are you trying to gain a reputation as a cheapskate? Nice common man angle, genius, but lobbyists run your show. Big money. And no politician wanting "smaller government" is ready for something THAT small.

• GETTING THINGS DONE That stitches analogy, whether it's true or not, is fucking boneheaded. My takeaway is that you fundamentally don't give a shit about medical advice & that you know better than doctors. Got it. Well, it makes you sound like an evil, heartless dick. Like every GOP candidate I've seen.

• HATING ON OBAMACARE You ripped stitches out yourself, so like I said, you obviously hate healthcare you yourself can't control. But regardless of what you think, Obamacare provides care to millions who wouldn't normally have it. As a cheapskate, you hate paying extra. Well, you're rich & I'm not. But I'd foot the bill.

Because I actually give a shit.

Given, this is all I've taken away from your "sadvertising." So, whether one of your lackeys came up with this or it was you, that shit I just laid out? THAT'S the message you're putting out there.

Because guess what. I'm actually IN this business. 

You seem all lovey-dovey, family-centric & traditional like EVERY dunce in your party, but taking scissors to a plan that could benefit Americans seems pretty traitorous to me. 

Whoa. I kind of sound like your depressing ilk, don't I? 

"What, you're saying you hate 'Merca?" "You can't take away my freedoms!"

Also, the fact that Michele Bachmann endorses you REALLY places you snuggly in the batshit crazy snake pit in my book.