#pxsship

Seeing some talk about how PxS canon could have come about. I’m re-reading, my ‘canon’ version of “The Winds of Winter” :

AO3 - Awakenings -- PxS canon book/tv style fic 

It really does make me angry about how much potential Petyr x Sansa had in canon to be this amazing dark horse duo that could have taken over the entire game. The showruiners screwed everything up by making Petyr do something he would never do -- put Sansa in severe danger and worse by giving her to the Boltons. The smartest character in the series WOULD NOT DO THIS with his ace in the hole. 

There was so much they could have done, including freeing the North, working with Jon eventually and then working against Dany and Cersei. Sansa would learn everything from Petyr on how to play the game and ultimately RULE. 

Petyr, with all his faults, wanted a level playing field for low-borns like him. He was teaching Sansa this as well. Being his ‘bastard’ she began to really understand what privilege she had as a Stark. Abused by the Lannisters taught her that those rosy girlish dreams were bs and she needed to be her own knight in shining armour. 

Does Petyr truly care for her? Yes, I believe he does. She’s part ‘what could have been’ because of Catelyn and now even better because Sansa is what Cat could never be and thats a drug to him. Turning Sansa (to his own detriment) into a female version of himself. 

Sigh.

Hehehe... when you’re setting up your new laptop and find little things in folders.

I have some ideas about how it ends, anyone else?

You should do a poll. I bet there's more people out there that would like to know how this story ends. It could be cool to see what others think. But that would probably be a spoiler, huh?

I didn't know you could do a poll on Tumblr until recently.

Yeah, I guess it would be spoilery, yet then again, this is a story I haven't updated in four years and the fandom isn't what it once was. I don't think there's a demand to see what I do with one of my stories.

I do admit people had some good and interesting, well thought out guesses. They weren't even close. But a few were definitely a route it could have gone. So that makes me feel a tad bit better that no one has guessed it yet.

I think some were worried I was going to kill off Petyr or Sansa or their children. I won't say anything because it would ruin the ending, not saying if any die or not. I did throw a few red herrings in for good measure throughout the plot. Writing in Petyr's and Sansa's POV does make some things easier because they are unreliable narrators. Certain chapters wouldn't work if the narrator was 'all-knowing' or only writing from one POV. I wanted the miscommunication between them early on (especially considering the time period where men and women didn't exactly speak about certain things to each other) and then keep some of the mystery going when you don't know what is happening or know what the other character is thinking.

Sansa's knowledge of the "other world" is kept vague for a reason. Much of the later chapters are Petyr's POV. And the very last is Sansa's. There is one small snippet where we get a tiny POV of from their daughter, Sparrow. We're meant to see something that she does. And then the last chapter(s) is (hopefully) a wtf just happened twist and ties everything up.

There is one scene between Petyr and Edmure that had me bawling outlining it out. Their relationship comes full circle and it's kind of beautiful.

As you can see I still love this story. Maybe talking like this helps me get back into it. I don't know. I don't want to spoil it either. I just love this ship so much. There's never been a fandom that I loved as much as this one, that inspired so much.

I like my anti-heroes completely and utterly problematic and who dance in the grey area to the very end.

I know it's not cool to bug an author to update but will you PLEASE consider finishing Awakening? Honest to God, I coulda swore you were GRRM with that story. It felt like GOT.

And I gotta tell you, House of Green and Black is a freaking masterpiece! I gotta know how it ends. It just too good. This could be its own novel with different character names and stuff. That's the kind of book I would BUY. No joking. I'd pay money to see this movie.

Gonna stay Nonnie cuz i don't want you to think I'm a freak and stalking you and stuff.

Please consider finishing at least the House story. If they don't end up together and the kids aren't ok I'll just die not knowing.

Sorry if I'm bugging you or creeping you out. I didn't know how much I could love this story.

You're not bugging me. You're not creepy or stalking.

I haven't written in years. I don't want to make promises I can't keep. I'm in a different place that when I started writing all my stories.

I didn't really outline Awakening to the end. I know where I was going to take it. I tried to keep that more book canon for Winds of Winter.

House, oh man. When I started that story, I never believed it would become this massive detailed plot. Several chapters in, I knew this was going to be a longer story than I had planned and then it started writing itself. That's when I had to actually learn how to write I suppose. I outlined, made an actual map, I have docs full of dialogue and scenes that came to me in the middle of the night, I made this massive timeline to keep all the details of the characters and events in check because time and fate is a big theme in this plot.

A person here that I hold very dear, said that I could change names and GoT references and this would or could be an original novel. I did go to some extent to choose new character names and places and how to include a fictional country in the real world of the early 19th century.

It's an undertaking I started and became overwhelmed when I had a mental/emotional crisis and haven't been able to come back to yet. I thought by not finishing it, and writing an original novel instead would be a good idea. But then I also don't think I'm a good enough writer to do that. So perhaps I should finish this story the best I can on AO3.

I should be the one apologizing. Anyone here that knows me, knows I'm long-winded as hell. And cursed with over-sharing.

Please believe that I love this story. Writing PxS stories has been one of the very few things that have made me happy over the past few years.

I still think House has a killer twist ending. I had a couple people try and guess and everyone was wrong. That gave me some hope that maybe I still had people guessing to the end.

However, I'm scared I'm not good enough to write it the way it should be. Or I'm the only one who thinks it's good and it's actually not and then I'll be eternally depressed.

As you can see I have a serious confidence problem that I'm attempting to deal with.

I just don't want people to think I'm going to pop back into writing. I'm in a weirdo phase and not sure if I can still do this or not.

Lady Sansa Stark is the orphaned offspring of the late Duke and Duchess of Winterfell. Her family executed for inciting a revolution against the new king.

Stripped of title, inheritance, lands and considered unmarriageable as the daughter of a traitor, she is shunned by her aunt and sent to live with her drunken uncle.

An unlikely savior appears in the form of the new (and very wealthy) Marquess of Harrenhal, notorious for his swift rise into the aristocracy by means of smuggling, gambling and becoming the top financial advisor to the Royal Family.

A relationship of lies, secrets, betrayal, love and sacrifice that tumble into a world of political intrigue and an unexpected dance with the unknown, a history long forgotten of old legends - where the world of the living and spirits collide.

A tale of gothic horror, romance and a game of power.

Since coming back, I’ve had some lovely people re-reading and oddly, I thought I would too to see if I can spark myself back into writing or at re-joining this sweet community on some level. 

This is my take on the "Winds of Winter" sample chapter "Alayne" by GRRM.

This is book canon and doesn’t pull anything from the tv show post Season 4. Sansa and Petyr never left the Vale and there’s no Ramsay. Post Lysa’s death and Alayne, Petyr’s bastard daughter (not his niece), is being set up to marry Ser Harrold, the heir of the Vale if/when Sweetrobin dies. Sansa is learning more about Petyr and is confused by new feelings that are far from daughterly. 

Hmmm, I've been better and worse. I'm working on being better.

I'm scrolling through what looks like almost 4yrs of mail. My anxiety is too high to respond to them all. I just want to say (even though it probably means nothing now after all this time) thank you, I see you. I'm overwhelmed and humbled, but some of these are so old you probably don't care if I still exist or that I'm responding years later.

I see the messages left on my fics. I feel very awkward about responding considering all things. I don't expect anyone to interact with me after all this time either. I'm sort of tipping my toes in the bath water.

I do appreciate those who have reached out and apologise to the ones I've pushed away (I was thinking of your welfare not having to deal with me).

I'm not the same person you knew years ago in this fandom. I'm still trying to figure things out. If I don't act like you remember, I apologise.

I really do miss this fandom. I was maybe hoping a new book might ignite things but it doesn't look like GRRM will ever finish it.