#@softranswolves

Monday Nov 22 - Pre-Canon Years // Colors

Blue. My eyes are now blue and it’s all my fault. This was not my intention, but Paige is gone. I never should have let things go this far. No one treats me the same and the only person who understands is gone. Mom sent Peter away after what happened. He is the only one who wouldn’t treat me differently and he’s gone too. I’m alone in a house full of people, werewolves and humans alike. All of them refuse to treat me the way they used to. They’re all distant, not knowing how to handle my grief and suffering, so they just leave me alone. Soon I’ll be back at school and I don’t know if it’ll make things better or worse. I loved Paige more than anything and now she’s gone. I killed her, yes she asked me to, but it doesn’t change the fact that I did it. I brought the attention of hunters to my family. Which worries me despite mom’s assurances that it will be okay. I shamed my upstanding family and brought the attention of the humans that can take everything away from us. I don’t know if the Pack hates me for it or not, but they don’t treat me the same way they used to. Laura is too busy starting training to take over for mom, Eric is busy with his new wife, Thomas is barely home anymore and Cora is too young to really understand what happened. My siblings don’t have time for me anymore and it kills me. I try to spend time around mom and dad, but they’re busy with Alpha and Alpha Mate responsibilities. Which is my fault, they’re having to do more to appease the hunters after the change in my eye color. The rest of the Pack and family don’t have the time either with their responsibilities and children. I’m so lonely now and it’s my own fault. I have no one to blame but myself.

Yellow like her hair or the sun. She’s stunning and wants my attention. I know it’s wrong since she’s my teacher, but she’s beautiful. For some reason she wants me and I’m helpless against her. She has me in her hands and it doesn’t seem like she’ll let me go anytime soon. She took my virginity and she keeps dragging me back even when I don’t want her to. She has me wrapped around her finger and I don’t think I can actually tell her no. She’s magnetizing and enthralling. It’s like I’m on drugs around her if that was even possible for me. I’m no longer lonely thanks to her. She keeps me very occupied and is very interested in me. I don’t understand why but I’m too far gone to care. She seems a little too interested in my family and home but she’s too difficult to resist. I’m helpless around her and when it comes to her in general. She has me hook line and sinker. I’m too gone to question her interest.

Red like flames and Laura’s eyes now. My Pack my family burnt to death and it’s my fault. I gave her the information she needed. I only bring death and destruction. This is once again all my fault. How could I have been so stupid? Laura and I are the only ones left and it’s all my fault. Laura puts Peter in the hospital and runs, taking me with her. She doesn’t know it’s all my fault that we’re the only ones really left. Part of me is glad she made us flee but the larger part of myself wishes I died as well. This is my fault. Laura breaks our bond to Peter and it nearly kills me. I know she’s trying to keep us safe. It’s what we’re supposed to do after an event like this. Hide and heal. This is what we were trained to do growing up. I only wish it didn’t mean we had to leave Peter behind. If he ever wakes he’ll probably never forgive us for leaving him alone and fleeing across the country without a second though. I hate it but I don’t really have any room to talk. The entire thing was my fault. I killed my first love and my second one turned out to be a hunter. I should have known better. I killed my family, my pack. This is all my fault. I should have seen it but I couldn’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.