tfw your entire view on your life gets exploded and despite this big explosion, nothing really changes and you still have to keep going and do the same thing every day just like everyone else -- except it's not really you that's going about your day, and no one knows but you, because at some point along the way you were replaced with a girl who acts like she's supposed to and makes an effort to wear tight clothes and makeup like she always has, but she's not really you because she cant be you. but she has to be, and she is. and it's hard and it sucks and it sucks so much more for you because of said earth shattering thing (but really you know deep down your world has been slowly crumbling this whole time, this was just the biggest blow), and you're the kind of tired sleep won't fix and you're so mean to everyone. And they all hate you, but they should, because why are you so mean? What the hell are you so mad about? But being mean is better than being pathetic. and it will be that way forever and you will be this way forever and that... but you still have to endure it because somehow, a small part of you still has hope that if you can just get out, leave everything and everyone behind and disappear of the face of the earth, you can be free. and so you wait, even though you're hanging on by a thread, because you can't stand the thought leaving a world that never even got to know you. not just yet
this is that feeling:
