#< implied

Be free my silly lil Impy doodles from. Months ago orz

god I hate it here so much, she accused me of treating her like a "servant" when all I did is ask her to do something she said she would do, and she does the same thing to me! This happens almost every time I ask her for something now...

And then she got mad when I wanted to hug dad instead of her. Mfs will be all about "safe adults" but then get mad at you when you go to one because he's "saving" you and making her "the evil one"

like yeah maybe you are the evil one. Because at least I don't have nightmares of dad, even if he can be kind of shitty too

Does my brother know how suicidal I am? Does he even care? He never seems to despite how much I cry. I don't even recall him caring much when I went to the mental hospital or when I ran away.

I can't even eat this ice cream now, my throat hurts and I'm sobbing and

I feel guilty for getting this worked up over nothing, I should be stronger. She's right, I have a fucoing fine life and fine parents I shouldn't be overreacting and suicidal. I don't know why I'm like this my problems are so insignificant compared to other people I know

it's so hard to stay alive

I know I have a few things but it's just so hard I hate myself I hate everyone I hate everything and I miss her

I'll probably calm down and like go back to normal me later but right now I really wanna kill myself

I won't but

thinking about ex-husband!simon riley... but he's not really your ex husband. he meant his vows when he said them. it isn't that he stopped loving you, it's that ever since you put that ring on his finger he can't stop thinking about how much of a bastard his father was as a husband. can't stop living in fear that one day he'd wake up just like him since it's the only example of marriage he's had in his life. it's irrational - he knows it, you know it. but he feels like he's drowning every time he thinks about what should have been the happiest day of his life.

so you get divorced.

nothing changes.

you eat breakfast together when he's not deployed. he drops you at work in the morning when your car's in the garage and kisses you softly goodbye. you fuck maybe more than you did before he asked for a divorce. you get your ring melted down and made into a pendant of his first initial - a tiny gold s that nests in the hollow of your throat.

now he's just simon riley the man you love not simon riley the husband. now he doesn't feel the weight of his father's invisible shadow looming over him every day.

now he just gets to love you without fear of becoming something he's not.

Some post-turnabout succession content :)

The place they in isn't empty, but I can't draw backgrounds and also they're focused on each other, not just in a gay way either

I feel like Apollo would struggle to actually say this to him directly after the trial, but I imagine that he stopped by his office later with food and the pure determination to tell him that he wasn't alone.

This is mostly sparked by Apollo knowing what it is like to be abandoned and despite not being vulnerable, wanting to support someone else who has been led on and abandoned

I see Klavier just trying to metaphorically shut everyone out for a while after that trial and I don't see Apollo trying to force his way in, but I do see Apollo waiting outside the door for an invite no matter how long it takes and how much he doesn't want to admit it

Find my pa-

No, no no. we are not doing that bit again.

When Medkit spawned, her body was found.

Dumped in the middle of the forest.