#;sl

    today was suppose to be special.

    it was supposed to be two years.

    two damn years.

    gone to waste.

    but that was before the words that split her whole relationship, causing it to disperse into a million pieces because of the words she had said. the ice princess admits that it’s her fault, but her very pride will be the reason for her downfall. the same habits are ones she’s yet to change fully, pushing others away until the worst comes. when she realises that keeping her mouth shut was better, she’d take that chance and rewind. however, there’s truly no erasing in the collateral damage she’s done.

    there’s no yes or yes, but a no or no on how things seem to be going. sending him that text of ‘it sucks to miss you’, what the hell had she been expecting? there are no more chances to take and grab. life isn’t a video game, instead, she should be focusing on healing her broken heart. healing isn’t that easy as she thought.

    living, breathing, it feels dull without him by her side. she hasn’t been the same since before except still retaining her duties to the trainee life and homework taking up her whole days. soojung’s yet to do anything for herself. so, she takes this opportunity to upload her sad vocal cover despite people already saying she’s so boring. for who she is, always being sad and being told what she felt was wrong.

    music was her way to cope up with the pain that her depression brought her. the video is recording and clearly, her emptiness is conveyed through the camera from the facial expression written on her face, it’s really hard not to hide as if everything’s okay. especially when she takes music as her form of therapy. she can only keep playing to the keys of the piano, moving through each note as she sings the song emotionally.

    she doesn’t care anymore. what people say: boring, bland, plain, always singing ballads. because she’s fully embraced what she’s capable of. there’s the pain in beauty, the sound of her voice is soothing and soft but also indicating her unhappiness. 

    as the song comes down to the end, she stops her fingers from playing on the piano and waves the camera a goodbye then a proper head bow, “thank you for supporting me!” that’s all she can say until she has to go back to sobbing, tears that don’t seem to stop every day at the thought of him.

    it breaks the ice princess.

it’s complicated.

she hasn’t posted a recording in a long time since being she’s signed her name to the music industry to pursue a difficult dream of becoming an idol one day. the truth is, it’s not really her dream but following the footsteps of what her parents wanted her to fulfill. she wishes that she was competent, just good enough to make it through a debut but she knows that she’s never enough. these days, krystal has had immense hardships as she’s separated from sehun. the lonely nights come back once more ( just as she’s thought she’s buried them in a grave ). the same monsters that held her to the point she would shake, cry silently and not scream out a single word with a million thoughts racing in her mind. these problems break her inside as she’s only been trying to run away when things get worse. that’s right, she should’ve expected it. what was her decision? to back off and say words she’s regretting? that’s right. she didn’t back herself up with honesty, just throwing fists by the choice of words that cut like a knife, to him.. the one who’s only ever been there.

and she’s back in her zone, crumbling through the days but music helping her get through the times. singing her heart with covers or her compositions, recording in the studio all day when there’s downtime from training is her medicine to her heartache. it burns so much that it feels like the moment they both agreed on taking a break, a part of her soul was ripped from her heart. in a way, she sees oh sehun as her twin flame. not exactly the same soul but the one who’s able to stitch her heart or break it. she feels so complete with him.. but without him, her world is a void currently. 

the lighting in the room is so dim, but the camera focuses on her features perfectly. she doesn’t care enough to polish her face with makeup as she prefers to go au nautrel themes anyways. from where she’s started, she has realised her so much potential with her voice. the tone might be nasally but not like before, she’s definitely improved. her control is better with her notes, she can run tougher riffs and runs! as the instrumental starts playing, she opens her lips to pour out the pain in her heart. singing, that’s her saviour.

come with me stay the night just say the words but, boy, it don’t feel right what do ya expect me to say? (you know it’s just too little, too late) you take my hand and you say you’ve changed but, boy, you know your begging don't fool me because to you it's just a game

(you know it's just too little, too late) so let me go now 'cause time has made me strong i'm starting to move on i'm gonna say this now your chance has come and gone and you know

the lyrics are slightly different than what she’s going through but she feels empowered through her vocals, showing emotion with her intense vocals and facial expression on the camera as she hits the notes wonderfully. it isn’t getting to the part where she has to do the adlibs and the higher notes, of course. so she’s at a good start with the song. the melody meshes with her soft yet strong tone.

it's just too little, too late a little too long and i can't wait but you know all the right things to say (you know it's just too little, too late) you say you dream of my face but you don't like me you just like the chase to be real it doesn't matter anyway

(you know it's just too little, too late) yeah, yeah, it's just too little, too late, mhm i was young and in love i gave you everything but it wasn't good enough and now you wanna communicate (you know it's just too little, too late) go find someone else in letting you go i'm loving myself you got a problem but don't come asking me for help  'cause you know

they’ve been with one another since their younger age, the ice princess and oh sehun. she’s grown so much with him but there’s still things that they need to work on. truthfully, she admits to this as stubborn and burdensome she may appear to be. there’s still that part of her that has trouble conveying her true colours but not like before, she does vocalise her emotions but it appears to be better when she sings or write through some form of poetry.

it's just too little, too late a little too long and i can't wait but you know all the right things to say (you know it's just too little, too late)

you say you dream of my face but you don't like me you just like the chase to be real it doesn't matter anyway (you know it's just too little, too late) 

i can love with all of my heart, baby i know i have so much to give (i have so much to give) with a player like you, i don't have a prayer that's no way to live oh, mmm, no it's just too little, too late yeah! 

and her higher notes come natural to her as she’s a light lyric soprano, despite how shrilling they may sound at times. krystal has adjusted to what sounds best and what doesn’t when it comes to her range, she likes to keep it at a calm pace. unfortunately, there were cutscenes where she deleted that provoked her tears but she cut that portion out and re-recorded what wouldn’t make it obvious to the public that she did have a relationship since both in the idol and trainee world, dating is strictly prohibited. but clearly, her sadness is still seen through her distinct eyes.

it's just too little, too late a little too long and i can’t wait but you know all the right things to say (you know it’s just too little, too late) you say you dream of my face but you don’t like me you just like the chase to be real it doesn’t matter anyway (you know it’s just too little, too late)  you know it's just too little, too late (i can't wait, no) 

her falsetto possesses and airy but sweet sound to it, her melisma compliments the sound of the notes as they don’t come off too overwhelming.

it's just too little, too late a little too long and i can’t wait but you know all the right things to say (you know it’s just too little, too late) you say you dream of my face but you don’t like me you just like the chase to be real it doesn’t matter anyway (you know it’s just too little, too late)

when the song ends, the ice princess bows in front of the camera and waves goodbye. the video transitions to a black screen.

OOC NOTE: First of all, congratulations to two years as a trainee! I know it’s been a long and crazy journey, and I’m so glad you’ve stuck through it. When you are ready, feel free to post this prompt with Soojung’s response to it.

Should Soojung hoose to RENEW her contract with Sphere, she will sign on to the same agreement as before for another two years. As a reward for making it this far, she will receive ONE WEEK unpaid vacation time to use any time between now and the end of August, so long as it doesn’t clash with any special trainee activities.

Should she choose to REJECT her contract with Sphere, she will leave the company, effective immediately upon rejection. She will be able to keep all of her debut points, but will not be able to take any trainee workshops or earn any more debut points/workshop points until she becomes a trainee again. She will not have any special advantage over newer characters when she auditions for other companies in the future, and should she become a trainee at a new company she will be considered a junior trainee all over again, even though she will still have her debut points and would be eligible for debut right away. She WILL have the right to audition for Sphere again, but the fact that she gave up a contract renewal WILL be taken into account in final casting decisions.

She will have up to one week to make her decision IC, meaning that if she does not make a decision by JUNE 6th she will automatically be cut from the company. Exceptions can be made for those on hiatus.

–

the ice princess doesn’t recall when the last time she saw baek jiyoung’s office was. in fact, for as long as she can remember, it’s surely has been a while. so much to the point that everything feels so unfamiliar to her. even though the sphere building has been her second home ( not surprising that she spends more time here and in school than having a bed to sleep on at her actual house ). pulling up her seat, she sits down and looks down at the same sheet of paper she’s signed her name to.

it’s kind of like the devil’s contract in a way, putting your soul for the company to harness and depleting you from some of your rights. “hello.” she bows her head with her introduction, facial expression blank as ever. she doesn’t expect much from this. soojung knows what she has to do: sign the contract, right? but damn. has it truly been two years? time flies by that fast. she’s developed so much with her singing abilities, dancing, and stamina. unlike other trainees, she’s somehow managed to juggle school on top of everything.

devastation blows at her again. if she decides to stick down the two long years once more, making it four if she decides to not leave sphere. needless to say, she does have thoughts about it. giving up everything. hell, she knows that debuts might not even happen now. the ice princess has given this much thought, she should just sign it anyways. soojung’s created a life here, in sphere, created bonds with those around her and a secure position as a stable vocalist to her name.

“thank you, for training me. for pushing me.” she nods, grabbing the pen in her hand and signing her full name on it. specifically where the ‘x’ is marked for her to write her signature on it.

krystal valentine jung.

she’s still young, she has her life ahead of her anyways.

whatever.

the only thing that soojung is grateful for is that she doesn't have a lot of lines to act on, she has eight lines so how bad can this get? nevertheless, she can't complain because she's been through worse and that was having to dance around wearing everything pink on the mgas. she'd take this any day over having to wear aegyo styles of clothing ( which is her least favourite, by the way ). but what annyos her is how long does she have to practise this one scene over and over again until it looks perfect to the coaches? maybe not perfect, but bearable. she'll leave it at that because surely, they understand that she's not a professional actress or anything.

she makes sure that the character she's playing emotions are conveyed properly, while she can do that with singing, acting was a different thing. it had to appear on her face and gestures, the expressions such as anger, sadness, happiness, etc. so, she comes in scared of the man in front of her eyes, who was a fellow trainee from royal, kangjoon. she averts her gaze from his, lips moving to speak out her first line "go away." it's simple as that, soojung doesn't have to do too much.

it seems like her character isn't one for confrontations, which soojung doesn't mind too much of. she shoves kangjoon away, but gently so that it doesn't hurt him ( she doesn't intend that because this is all part of their occupation anyways ). "get away from me!" seems like it's not only once but twice of the message. she looks around, trying her best not to look at kangjoon. then it happens, the "stalker" lands on the ground and she's staring at him, on the floor looking so helpless. between the guys was a little, what you could say, a disagreement but soojung stands there watching the two trainees who are so natural at acting unlike her.

with a shocked look on her face, she covers her mouth as her mouth was opened wide. there was a point coming but she'd just let the guys act it out, even she was stunned at the action going on. "baek inho.." she stands there, quietly. until, she speaks loud and clearly, "just try! you think, i'll sit still. if you go to the police, i'll be the witness. i'll tell them about how you stalked me since last year and today. let's just see who will be the one to suffer if you do." she put emphasis on the word suffer, not lightening up her speech at all as she threatens her "stalker".

        soojung knows that she doesn't want to be eliminated but.. ever since being on the royal survival show, there's a lot that she needs to work on. the french gal was cut off from the last episode because of her poor health, balancing her studies while trying to remain in the spotlight as an upcoming idol is not an easy task.she's always felt that school came first before anything, but she's stressing out over being eliminated and possibly her grades lowering down.

        what if being an idol doesn't work out? what if everything turns out for the best? she's been thinking for the past few days. overthinking, if you'd say. that's what she does best, contemplating her whole life and the picture in one go but not seeing the corners and edges, the little details that could make her happy. soojung only pays attention to the worst outcome. she felt as if she should've been gone a couple episodes ago, but she's still here and ( even if she doesn't want to admit it ) strong. 

        she misses the sphere building, seeing her fellow co-trainees and her lover, oh sehun but she has to cope up with what she signed up for. if she doesn't finish, then she can say that she's given everything throughout the show.

        everything’s going to be okay, she assures herself.

        there's the good and the bad, the worse and the fun. she's going to have fun trying out acting for the first time. this isn't what she's used to, but she's creative. always had been, maybe she can show off herself in ways that most others can't. soojung's already failed at that, people expecting her to sing ballads but she's all around confused.

        what does so jisub want from her anyway? she's unsure, truly. would her image fit within the group and their dynamics?

        lights, camera, action. 

        the scene starts off as she packs her stuff, dumping in all her clothes from the closet and into the suitcase. surprising how everything seems to fit in one thing, but she has to make the feeling of agitation stern on her features. which she excels at, she doesn't look too mellow or happy at all. she doesn't speak to jihoon. only to let herself take the leave. then another take starts, it's strange having someone else that's not her boyfriend act like her lover but she goes with the flow. thinking of the good times, the replay of the girl who's the whole world now turned against her. she's lost in the maze and the love's out of her grasp.

        the final part is having to break down, tear up and get on her knees. which she does, bring herself to, getting on her knees as she plays the role of the girl, who's going through a tough time with her relationship only having to end it as a source of an outcome. the tears stream down, they're somewhat genuine because she's done it multiple times to sehun, threatening him on the occasion to leave. the harsh words of we need to break up get convey, even through her features.

        she’s leaving england, moving back to france. the ice princess feels that there’s no need to go at all, she wants to stay. she might’ve been born in france, hailing from that country since she carries half the blood in her, england is where the beginning stood for her in the first place. but to leave home, like this –– is immensely hard. krystal doesn’t know how to tell sehun, leaving him behind with the lack of words –– that could’ve been conveyed properly, she doesn’t have the courage to do so. today was her last day of school, tomorrow will be her flight to bordeaux.

        but silence could sit out for the next couple of years, maybe a line of hatred between her bonds she carries with many people she knows in england. she isn’t a loner here, but she isn’t the most popular girl in town. it’s not like she can ask her father to visit the heart of london directly from nottingham. she’s staying here to see her family, saying her parting words to her father’s side of the family.

        she sits down, somewhere in the middle of the dark at midnight writing her heart out to say ‘i’m sorry, i need to go, this is my goodbye. sincerely krystal.’ through her lines of music. maybe this isn’t the end of her stay in england, she could visit someday.. then again, the mysteries bound to her.

you've got the words to change a nation but you're biting your tongue you've spent a life time stuck in silence afraid you'll say something wrong if no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song? so come, on come on come on, come on you've got a heart as loud as lions so why let your voice be tamed? baby we're a little different there's no need to be ashamed you've got the light to fight the shadows so stop hiding it away come on, come on

        this is a piece she’s going to work on all night, creating the composition from the piano, recording her singing the live version of this for the video document. besides that, she has to showcase her emotions in the video, even through belting out the notes. all she’s thinking about right now is the good times she’s had with all the people she’s known, people who made her grow.

i wanna sing, i wanna shout i wanna scream till the words dry out so put it in all of the papers, i'm not afraid they can read all about it read all about it oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh

        her voice is strong ( that’s how it’s been, even though she has carried a light pitch with her intonation but high notes are her forte ), she’s a good start. singing word by word to figure out how it’s going to sound out if it’s pleasing to the ear or not.