“Listen, Fergie is overrated.  The Dutchess isn’t even that great of an album and the fact that so many songs were in the top 100 is an insult to mankind.”

“It was the only place hiring okay?  When you need a paycheck you don’t discriminate.”

“I don’t pay much mind to internet memes but dat boi isn’t even that great.  Pepe or ‘but that’s none of my business’ are the superior frog memes.”

“I also once killed a man…with this thumb.”

“Oh gods.  He’s cute in that grandpa kind of way but I think he might be better off finding someone his own age.”

“…I plead the fifth.”

“Who woulda thunk it.”