#;march

I think I decided to come and post some stuff about me or basically come stuff I need to let out as sort of diary. I seriously need to write down my feelings somewhere and since I suck at writing on papers I will try to post something in here since this is basically a place that no one cares about apart from me.

So, I went through a row of quite hard situations lately that got me thinking a lot about my life and how I used to lead it - not that I didn’t overthink about it already but these series of events simply hit particularly hard on me  giving me a further impulse to take a step forward a turning point of my life.

I have always thought that it wasn’t only school to bring me so down so that even if in less than four month I will be eventually out of it I won’t be completely free from all worries and concerns about life and future, like magically, all of a sudden. I have always known there’s something more, much more. It’s deep inside of me and I need to change it.

I wonder a lot about what it could be eventually getting on almost the same list. One of the main points of that list is the acceptence towards myself as a whole - outside and inside. I don’t  like my physical appearance in general, I don’t like my nose in first place and those dark circles I have around my eyes, I hate the fact that I get pimples from nothing while tons of people stopped getting them years ago, I mostly hate my thighs and buttcheeks which aren’t that nice. I’m not saying they are “big” or that I’m fat, I just saif that I don’t like them and they make me feel uneasy so that I thought of trying to start a serious diet to come back as I used to be years ago when I used to play volleyball.

I have started it many and many times, losing only 3 Kgs which is still quite far from the target I have so I eventually decided to change a lot my alimentation making it healthier and lighter than it was; I hope it will turn out to be a whise choice.

I’m out of ideas now, I think I will just cut it here.