thunder rumbling

Ryder: I'm done fighting Billie, I'm just done.

Ryder: No, no we can't. Texting you was a mistake and I'm sorry for bothering you.

Kitty: I'm not.

Ryder: She's already won, what's the point?

Ryder: Sorry but it's kinda true. She broke us, we broke up and I don't know if we can fix it.

Kitty: No, she hasn't. We can still win, Ry.

Ryder: No, I can't let you do that. What if she gets back at me for it and tells everyone?

Ryder: She's already ruined us Kit.

Kitty: Then we can get a restraining order, Ry, there are ways to get rid of her!

Ryder: I did know that, I knew all of that. But it was like the panic just short-circuited my brain and I couldn't think straight.

Ryder: I know you didn't, and I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk for that last week or so we were together. I didn't handle it well, at all. Also you're not a bitch, I'm sorry for calling you one and I never even meant it.

Kitty: I'm friends with...

Kitty: Ryder, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, seriously.

Ryder: Because I was scared.

Ryder: Scared you'd pick her side, scared that you'd laugh at me, scared that you'd tell me to get over it because it's been ten freaking years, scared that Billie would retaliate if I told you... scared basically.

Ryder: Basically I'm a pathetic idiot who let the best thing in his life get away from him because he was too much of a coward to face it all.

Kitty: ...You know something, Ry? I might be a bitch at times, I might be brutally honest and I might get pissed, but I'm not a monster. That girl who went slowly with you, who cared about you, who loved you? I'm still her. I wouldn't have reacted like that.

Ryder: So I really didn't want to end things, but I kinda freaked about the whole thing.

Ryder: I'm sorry.

Ryder: I'm sure you're clever enough to work it out so I might as well just grow a pair and tell you what I should have told you a month ago.

Ryder: Billie is the one who babysat for me when I was 11, and well, you know the rest...

Ryder: You asked me what my problem was with Billie and I told you.

Ryder: She fucked me up, fucked with my head. I thought I was over it but it's been ten years and my head is clearly still fucked.

Ryder: I believe you. We were so happy back then, practically untouchable.

Kitty: Wait... back up, what?

Ryder: She messed me up, big time.

Ryder: Yeah? Well it was the best time of my freaking life.

Kitty: What are you even talking about?

Ryder: What are you talking about? I'm a great drunk.

Ryder: She's her, she's Billie. Billie the stupid bitch.

Ryder: You told me that before, when we were weird friends. I loved being your weird friend.

Kitty: Ryder, I've seen you drunk. You get needy and clingy and kinda cute, but it's almost insanity.

Kitty: What the hell? What did she ever do to you?

Ryder: Drunk doesn't always equal crazy.

Ryder: Fine, your best yoga friend.

Ryder: Wait, you don't have a best friend? That's kinda sad. You deserve all the best friends.

Kitty: In your case, it does.

Kitty: Billie? What the hell does she have to do with anything?

Ryder: Well I'm glad you are, I'd go crazy otherwise. Well, more crazy.

Ryder: Who do you think? Your best friend in the world, that's who.

Kitty: You're drunk, how much crazier can you get?

Ryder: Well... sorry.

Ryder: You could just stop replying if you really didn't want to hear from me though.

Ryder: Because I'm stupid and cowardly! You didn't do anything! She did.

Kitty: I know I could, but I'm an idiot for wanting to talk to you.

Ryder: Even if I wanted you to know?

Ryder: What if I didn't want to end our thing? I was just scared because I'm pathetic like that but I definitely didn't want it to end.

Kitty: Even then.

Ryder: I thought so because you are, I know you are.

Ryder: Well I do miss you. Drunk or sober, so you might as well know that.

Ryder: Yeah but I didn't want to, I'd never want to.

Kitty: Maybe.

Kitty: Doesn't mean you need to tell me.

Ryder: Of course you did, you're clever.

Ryder: Make a fool out of myself? By texting you? What's wrong with me texting you?

Ryder: Well I'm still pissed at you too but it doesn't stop me missing you. Nothing stops me missing you.

Kitty: You've always thought so, at least.

Kitty: By drunk texting me, telling me you miss me.