i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

I learned almost all I know about painting by watching Marco Bucci's videos on youtube. His 10 minutes to better painting series is gold. I think my painting style and process is quite influenced by him.

Lately I've been watching Tiffanie Mang and Angela Sung videos and lectures too. I love their shapes and colours!

For drawing and design I've learned so much from Sinix, especially his design series and anatomy quicktips. And of course Proko is probably the best resource for fundamentals, and they feature a lot of other artists. I've discovered so many through their channel.

For books, I love the way Bridgman simplifies anatomy and all the anatomy books by Morpho (especially the skin and folds one). And I'm currently reading Framed Ink by Marcos Mateu-Mestre.

I'd say most of my fundamentals come from these people and the remaining is from analysing and studying the style of artists that I admire and making life drawings and movie studies.

Some of my main sources of inspiration at the moment are the aforementioned Tiffanie Mang and Angela Sung plus Yuming Li, Tomas Muir, Katherine Lamb, Aleksander Rostov (of course), Patrick O'Keefe, Benjamin Björklund, Iryna Yermolova, Alexander Wilby, and many, many more, really. My interests shift, my sources of inspiration change and I keep finding new exciting artists to look up to.

Also, don't forget to make studies from life! It's a very good way to try to stylize and apply the cool techniques you've learned. Very good for the mind and soul too, good meditation.

And studies from movies, very important!!! Screencap and make studies of your favourite movies/shows The Lighthouse movie always in my mind... Perfect for value, storytelling, composition studies.

The key is to find what calls to you, look at a lot of art, make a list of your favourite movies/artists/subjects/whatever, analyse what it is that you like: why you like it, why it works. What do you want to say and how can you use these tools to convey it? And make studies of the things that you find interesting to later implement into your art.

Vox flash banged Alastor.

It's a 'blink and miss it' moment. But that's why he had his head turned away from Vox the next clip. Because he reflexively turned away from the sudden flash and Vox's glaringly bright screen.

Up until the S2 Finale he thought there was a way to escape Alastor’s event horizon and win so he was in a self-destructive loop of enduring the pain. He’s got that sunk cost fallacy pyrrhic victory dog in him… I do get the impression he’s ambivalent to physical pain, though, and perhaps amenable to indulging sadistic urges from people he trusts (like Valentino) if they wanted 🤔

This is 100% based on my interpretation of the canon rather than personal taste though I promise you cuz I LOVE EROGURO :( I WANT ALASTOR TO BE ELBOWS DEEP IN THAT MAN’S GUTS YANDERE STYLE BEING ABSOLUTELY VICIOUS BUT I CAN ONLY MAKE IT WORK IN MY BRAIN IF IT’S TOTAL NONCON :(

Cuz Vox always seemed genuinely upset by Alastor’s verbal abuse and psychological torment—he almost kills himself over it—and that does not paint the picture of “guy who gets off on receiving cruelty” to me. I think Alastor makes him feel like shit and he hates it but he’s too stubborn to give up; it’s like continuing to chain smoke when you’re already on death’s door from lung cancer. There’s no relief but he doesn’t know how to quit (thank you Valentino and Velvette for forcing him to deescalate please give him an intervention 😭).

On Alastor’s end, “brat” is almost spot-on for him, but not quite. Brats are people who act out and push buttons and break rules to provoke attention from their play partners, yes, but in BDSM it’s traditionally a submissive role. Alastor isn’t submissive, as far as I’m aware; he doesn’t want to be put in his place. But he does seem to want Vox to try, just so he can have the excuse to turn the tables and violently subvert things.

I also think vox is disconnected from his body and views his body as a tool, so physical intimacy, sex, violence, cannibalism, its all the same like a particularly graphic movie that happens to include his body and is a lot more vivid than the usual movies and films he consumes, and can be ‘masochistic’ in that sense (where its more just viewed as a catchall in that he doesnt enjoy being mauled or physically hurt any more than he does anything else, BUT it forces him to react and experience things in a heightened state, which in turn he *can* enjoy)

I don’t think he likes the loss of control at all. But he could fall into the adrenaline junkie aspect of “being masochistic”, where he gets to stop thinking so much and fight back and be hysterical with complete abandon.

He does not get off on receiving cruelty, but he *does* from attention and validation, and with his dynamic with alastor, physical masochism at this point might be the only thing he can indulge in that isnt tangled up in emotional pain. Every time alastor goes to talk after all, he’s trying to hurt vox’s identity and relationships with others, which is exactly where it hurts because everyone knows theyre so fragile and tentatively built and purely dependent on external determinism. For physical violence, especially if he provoked alastor into doing it- it means he has enough control and means enough to alastor to warrant that kind of special attention, which is better than being degraded by him, and better than nothing at all.