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That is why the only time men “embrace” their own sexuality is when they’re sexualizing a woman as their object of desire.

Female performers still refuse to do that to men, and then they complain that men are still so focused on themselves in bed or can’t even find the damn clitoris.

Doms don’t pretend to strangle their partner, they do that for real.

Doms don’t pretend to hurl misogynistic and/or racist abuse at their partner, they do that for real.

Doms don’t pretend to hit or slap their partner, they do that for real.

Doms don’t pretend to ignore you crying or saying no , THEY DO THAT FOR REAL.

There is nothing safe, sane, or consensual about BDSM.

Forums are FILLED with women that freeze up and can’t safe word. Forums overflow with women saying that their male doms ignored the safe word when they do say it. There are countless women complaining of men that push kinks the woman doesn’t want until she gives in. The are so many accounts of abusers being protected by the BDSM community. There are so many women that think they can’t report their rape and abuse because their BF calls it kink.

There are women who DIE from BDSM.

And anyone that tells you it’s “healing trauma” to reenact your rape is an idiot and/or a liar. You are retraumatizing yourself and will do massive damage in the long run. You’re mistaking the temporary self esteem boost from pleasing a BF with genuine healing. We don’t shoot ex soldiers with rubber bullets to cure PTSD. We don’t do exposure therapy with sexual intercourse as a treatment. And exposure therapy is for IRRATIONAL fears, like people that are so afraid of pears and can’t go grocery shopping. It isn’t for victims of violence!

It’s not pretend. It’s not acting. He is not fantasizing about the CNC negotiation beforehand. He isn’t going to stay safe and sane and your consent isn’t happening in a vacuum.

The John Wick vs Ballerina shitshow is such a perfect case study of how men make movies depending on the sex of the main protagonist. The two movies are set in the same universe with many crossovers and yet...

John Wick is male. Therefore, he gets to be an assassin in his 50s, well known by everybody, respected and considered the best of the best.

Eve is female, (yeah that's her name lol). Therefore, she's barely 18 (can't have a main female character above 30 in an action movie that's blasphemy). What's her last name? Doesn't matter. She's a nobody, a literal noob who needs to learn everything.

The actress was clearly chosen for her looks and not her acting; her face barely moves.

The reason for this is that the actress is 37. It's obvious throughout the movie that our "18 years old" has done cosmetic surgery and most of her face can't move. You'd be lucky to get even a frown. Her eyebrows are stuck.

John Wick spends most of the movies injured in some ways and with lots of scratches on his face. He's always in pain. That's almost the point of the movies. Grunting, grimacing, bleeding, sweating, and still fighting.

Meanwhile, Eve looks like an instagram model with the stereotypical neoteny (baby face) and with filters on. She has no credibility.

She's always wearing lots of mascara and lip gloss and her face looks perfect no matter how many people she fights! Not a scratch until the very end of the movie! Lip gloss still on! Hair perfect! Magic! Again, no credibility.

For her first fight, she's wearing a sexy dress and heels. We even see her underwear. Imagine John Wick fighting dressed like that. Suddenly it'd be comedic. She wears heels for the entire movie.

The main character is not named Ballerina as we've seen, that's just the name of the movie because it's girly tee-hee.

John Wick’s character and the actor portraying him are considered impactful enough to carry the movie, and therefore, the movie posters only show John Wick. Even the names of the movies are simply "John Wick."

For Ballerina the movie poster is pink (girl girl girl get it? tee-hee) and she's either wearing the sexy dress or figures in the middle of a multitude of characters with the word "John Wick" because the directors didn't feel like her character could carry the movie. Indeed it can't. Because they can't make a female character.

The first is because they are at danger of being murdered or abused or mistreated if they don’t. Women and especially girls who don’t know how to read their fathers and male cousins or predict their thoughts and desires are yelled at until they either learn to cooperate or refuse to. Women know what every look they get from a man means- sexual interest he doesn’t care enough to hide, having a man undress you mentally on public transportation, a man in class being irritated at you having spoken out of turn, a bruised ego, a desire to hurt you. Women learn these things early to avoid walking the wrong way, to make sure as children not to move in a way that arouses grown men, to know which men she needs to especially carefully track behind her as she walks home. Men don’t even typically know enough about women to distinguish when a woman wants to talk to them from when she doesn’t, many don’t even care to learn the differences between sounds their girlfriends make when they’re aroused and sounds they make when they’re in pain. You don’t have to take my word for it- if you really care, if you are genuinely interested, you can ask the women in your life and, if they are honest, most of them will say the same thing. Maybe in less political terms, but many will tell you they absolutely read a group of men before walking by them for their own safety.

Secondly, the majority of the Western canon of literature, film, art, music- these are told as male narratives. You can’t make it through high school and gey away from hearing about male desires, men’s inner lives, what men think about women. Take an American modern literature class and you’ll be flooded with men- with Faulkner, with Hemingway, with Fitzgerald, and a few women tossed in girls good measure. Take a class on Romantic literature and you’re going to be inundated with male readings of nature and sprituality, from Blake to Byron, again with a few women tossed in for good measure. Take a class on architecture and the faces you see in your books will belong primarily to men. Take a class on art history and the figureheads of each movement will, for the most part, be men. Take a class on politics and your prominent theorists will be men. This is partly the result of historical shutting out of women from these narratives, and partly the result of not actively searching for women’s voices where they are missing.

For years, she had been losing hair and weight. She had started forgetting whole days, and sometimes appeared to be in dreamlike trances. Her children and friends worried she had Alzheimer’s.

But in late 2020, after she was summoned to a police station in southern France, she learned a far more shattering story.

Her husband of 50 years, Dominique Pelicot, had been crushing sleeping pills into her food and drink to put her into a deep sleep, the police said, and then raping her. He had ushered dozens of men into her home to film them raping her, too, they said, in abuse that lasted nearly a decade.

Using the man’s photographs, videos and online messages, the police spent the next two years identifying and charging those other suspects.

On Monday, 51 men, including Mr. Pelicot, went on trial in Avignon, in a case that has shocked France and cast a spotlight on the use of drugs to commit sexual abuse and the broader culture in which such crimes could occur.

The accused men represent a kaleidoscope of working-class and middle-class French society: truck drivers, soldiers, carpenters and trade workers, a prison guard, a nurse, an I.T. expert working for a bank, a local journalist. They range in age from 26 to 74. Many have children and are in relationships.

Most are charged with raping the woman once. A handful are accused of returning as many as six times to rape her.

The victim, Gisèle, who has divorced her husband and changed her surname since his arrest, is now in her 70s.

Since his arrest, Mr. Pelicot, 71, has “always declared himself guilty,” said Béatrice Zavarro, his lawyer. “He is not at all contesting his role.”

Other defendants have denied the rape charges, with some arguing that they had the husband’s permission and thought that was sufficient, while others claimed they believed the victim had agreed to be drugged.

When the police showed Gisèle some of the photographs they say her husband had carefully classified and stored, she expressed deep shock. She and her husband had been together since they were 18. She had described him to the police as caring and considerate.

She had no memory of being raped, by him or the other men, only one of whom she recognized, she told the police, as a neighbor in town.

The first time she will consciously witness the rapes, her lawyer Antoine Camus says, will be in the courtroom when the video recordings are played as evidence.

The trial comes at a moment of heightened scrutiny of the handling of sexual crimes in the country. Rape is defined in French law as an “act of sexual penetration” committed “by violence, coercion, threat or surprise.” A number of feminist lawmakers want to amend that wording to say explicitly that sex without consent is rape, that consent can be withdrawn at any time, and that consent cannot exist if sexual assault is committed “by abusing a state impairing the judgment of another.”

“There is a kind of naïveté on the topic of predators in France, a kind of denial,” said Sandrine Josso, a lawmaker who led a parliamentary commission into what is known in France as “chemical submission” — drugging someone with malicious intent. She started the commission after she says she became the victim of a drugging last year. A senator is being investigated on accusations that he slipped Ecstasy into her Champagne.

Ms. Josso hopes that the Avignon trial will draw attention to the use of drugs to prey on women, and also shed light on the wide profile of predators. “They could be your neighbors, without falling into paranoia,” she said.

Mr. Pelicot seemed like a classic man next door. He was a trained electrician, an entrepreneur and an avid cyclist. His middle child and only daughter, Caroline Darian, her pen name, described him as a warm and present father in a book published in 2022 about the case, “And I Stopped Calling You Papa.” She tried to turn her family trauma into action, forming a nonprofit association, “Don’t Put Me to Sleep,” to publicize the dangers of drug-facilitated crimes.

Her father, she wrote, was the one who drove her to school, picked her up late from parties, encouraged her and consoled her. Her mother was the stable breadwinner, working as a manager in a Paris-area company for 20 years.

When Gisèle retired, they moved to a house with a big garden and pool in Mazan, a small town northeast of Avignon. The couple regularly hosted their three children and grandchildren for summer vacations peppered with late dinners on the terrace, where the family debated, held dance competitions and played Trivial Pursuit.

“I think of us as happy,” his daughter wrote. “I thought my parents were.”

None of them harbored any suspicions. Then, in 2020, three women reported Mr. Pelicot to the police for trying to use his camera to film up their skirts in a grocery store, and he was arrested.

The police seized his two cellphones, two cameras and his electronic devices, including his laptop, before releasing him on bail.

On the devices, the police say they found 300 photographs and a video of an unconscious woman being sexually assaulted by many people. They said they also found Skype messages in which the man boasted of drugging his wife and invited men to join him in having sex with her while she was unconscious.

Over the course of their investigation, the police found more than 20,000 videos and photographs, many of them dated and labeled, in an electronic folder titled “abuse.” The timeline they built began in 2011. The list of suspects grew to 83.

Two months after his initial arrest, Mr. Pelicot was arrested again and charged with aggravated rape, drugging and a list of sexual abuse charges. He is also accused of violating the privacy of his wife, daughter and two daughters-in-law on suspicion of illegally recording, and at times distributing, intimate photos of them.

If he is found guilty, he faces up to 20 years in prison.

During interviews with the police, the details of which were included in an overview of the case by the investigative judge, Mr. Pelicot said he began drugging his wife so he could do things to her, and dress her in things, that she normally refused. Then he started inviting others to participate. He said he never asked for or accepted money.

He met most of the men, the investigating judge’s report stated, in a chat room on a notorious, unmoderated French website implicated in more than 23,000 police cases in France alone from 2021 to 2024. It was finally shut down, and its owner arrested, in June after an 18-month investigation stretching across Europe.

The chat room where most of the men met Mr. Pelicot was called “a son insu,” which means “without their knowledge.”

Over the years, Mr. Pelicot told the police, he developed rules for the visitors to ensure that his wife did not wake: no smoking or cologne; undress in the kitchen; warm hands under hot water or on a radiator, so their cold touch would not jolt her. At the end of each night, according to the investigating judge’s report, he cleaned his wife’s body.

Of the 83 suspects, the police identified and charged 50.

Only one of the men is not charged with rape, assault or attempted rape of Mr. Pelicot’s wife. Instead, that man is accused of following the same model, and drugging his own wife to rape her. Mr. Pelicot is also charged with raping the man’s wife while she was drugged.

Five of the men also face charges for possessing child sexual abuse imagery.

Mr. Pelicot is also being investigated in the rape and murder of a 23-year-old woman in 1991 and the attempted rape of a 19-year-old in 1999. He admitted to the attempted rape, according to Florence Rault, the lawyer representing the victims in both cases, but denies any involvement in the 1991 homicide.

The story has prompted some soul-searching among doctors, since Gisèle had visited gynecologists and neurologists over a series of mystifying symptoms, but had received no diagnosis, according to her daughter.

“What I found disturbing for us doctors was that no doctor considered this hypothesis,” said Dr. Ghada Hatem-Gantzer, a well known obstetrician-gynecologist and expert in violence against women. She and a pharmacist, Leila Chaouachi, have now developed training for doctors and nurses on the symptoms that victims of drug-facilitated assault can experience.

Contrary to popular belief, most cases occur at home, not at bars, said Ms. Chaouachi, who runs annual surveys on such offenses in France. Most victims are women, the surveys show, and around half of the victims do not remember the attack, because of blackouts, she said.

In the case going to court in Avignon, some of the accused admitted guilt to the police. According to the investigating judge’s report, many claimed that they were tricked into having sex with a drugged woman — lured by a husband for a three-way encounter and told she was pretending to sleep, because she was shy.

Several said they believed that she had consented to being drugged and raped as part of a sex fantasy. Some said they did not believe it was rape, because her husband was there and they believed he could consent for both of them.

— Ruth Hubbard, “The Political Nature of ‘Human Nature’“ (via gothhabiba)

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They’re trying to erase the existence of the rape victims of Japanese soldiers in World War II because they think the reminder of their crimes might make Japan a little bit cross

Duterte, the absolute coward, is more worried about women criticizing him than actually honoring the women this country needs to remember