Niela Selo'helar

If I am anything, it is violence.

How is it like being angry all the time? God, it’s like wanting to rip out of your skin so that your lungs get direct exposure to oxygen when they tell you to count to ten. God, it’s like having a fist shoved down your throat when you want to find the words to apologize for whatever it is you broke this time. God, it’s like wearing a warning sign because everyone treads carefully around you as if you were nothing but a hazard that people learn to live with like wet floors and hot stoves. God, it’s like knowing you won’t have a day where your heart isn’t in overdrive and the skin covering your knuckles will always only be in the stage of recovery. God, it’s like being in a nightmare where you’re dying at the hands of a monster and then waking up to your hands around your throat because the only monster in the room is you.