Hi again.
It's been years since I wrote something here. I don't know why I'm back yet, but I feel the need to write again. I stopped writing when I was 22, now I am almost 30...
After years of therapy I finally know what's wrong with me... Or rather... what happened to me. Cptsd. I most probably have cptsd. Not officially diagnosed, but I am sure my therapists agree. I went through multiple traumas in my life since I was literally a newborn baby. I am working hard to deal with it. I am working hard to help my nervous system feel safe again.
I never thought I would make it to 30. Or I thought everything would be finally okay at 30. I was wrong. I am still here, but I am still very much struggling. I won't be okay at 30. But I am working on it.
For now I am 29 and struggling. Chronic fatigue, chronic pain, pots, flashbacks, nightmares, ... It's a whole package deal. But hey, I also have a part time job, which is... amazing. It takes every ounce of energy I have, but I am doing it. I am working.
That's all I can write now... maybe till another time
