i've got a sunset in my veins
and i need to take a pill to make this town feel okay
Xuebing Du

#extradirty
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will byers stan first human second
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

if i look back, i am lost

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Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.
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@rimbaudmania
i've got a sunset in my veins
and i need to take a pill to make this town feel okay

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
08-03-2026
call me a fool, you are the most beautiful boy i have ever known.
what drives me mad is you probably don't even know it. you call yourself boring and i didn't even know anything about you. i still don't know you.
what if things were different? i was born at the worst time in the worst of places.
16-09-25
i feel so alienated i can barely stand up. i'd crawl like a roach or like a beast, i'm completely dehumanised. the thick hair on my body hides and covers me, beneath it i imagine my skin to be purple and swollen
15/08/25
pinned to a chair 8 hours a day, not really doing anything, not even breathing. this human condition is an inefficient joke. i'm turning into a cinic, feeling the need to wipe out society. maybe i am anti-social, but i have friends, i am kind, i hang out every day. but i can't ignore the dagger that's pointed at my throat... i am anti-society, which is a synonym of "corporation" nowadays. "people" is a subjective word, you can be a person (owner), a consumer or a slave. keep consuming if you don't want to be a slave. just consume, consume, consume! encourage consumption! C O N S U M E !
You're not like the other stars
I can tell by the way you touch the dark
"Stop it", I said, I don't deserve this
I collect the dark inside of me while others try to push it away
I collect the dark inside of me while others try to push it away
It's easier that way
I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this
Misunderstand me, mistake my vices for virtues
Misunderstand me, the only way you'll ever respect mе
Misunderstand me, mistake my vicеs for virtues
Misunderstand me, the only way you'll ever respect me
I am a star, but I don't shine
I am a star, but I don't shine
I am a star, but I don't shine
I am a star, but I don't shine
I am a star, I am a star
I am a star, I am a star

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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maybe you just called to hear my voice
maybe i was just missing you
maybe you were too drunk to escape me
maybe i should just forget you
(drink with me, darlin')
19/04/25
my friend said my perfume is very nice. it's something i never thought anyone would notice; and it's my favourite compliment i've ever gotten.
she also said, talking to another friend about me "when i'll visit (her) in greece i'll look around at the airport and fail to recognise (her)" god i wish that were true. she saw right through me in a way.
it made me want to tell her about myself, the one i hate. but i made a pause too long and the words wouldn't come out. i held her tight when she left, it's small things but i'm never so intimate
17/04/25
time passes so slowly yet i can never catch up.
do i have the strength to wait for the day or will my heart just give up?
i've come to hate myself so much i'm awful to be around, so i just shut myself in, hiding how hideous this body is making me with each passing day, week, month.
the earliest appointment i could get is in 22 days. part of me silently accepted it as a surrender, or like a russian roulette game. make it out of 22 rounds only slightly damaged. put a bullet where the noise is coming from. i think i have tinnitus from screaming in my brain too often
if he asked me to stay i would've gone nowhere. it kills me that i would've died for him and he didn't even care
15/04/25
lately i've been extra careful when i drink to avoid your number, but i still slipped up. you know i'm messed up because i miss you

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Touch The Wings of An Angel... Doesn't Mean You Can fly
Paper white slips of paper
turned scarlet 'round my finger
Pulled my heart like the trigger
on your gun made of silver
But nothing seems important anymore
We’re just protecting ourselves from our self
i wonder if moths ever fly towards the sun like icarus or if its light is too distant for them to notice that's the source of everything
4-02-25
love does exist. love is singular. it's said "i love you" "you love me" and they mean different things. you can either love someone or be loved by someone, both doesn't exist. or well, something /similar/ exists but it's not love.
"love has to be reinvented"
7/04/25
so many things are changing in days but i can't tell the difference. if i told all that is happening to my 6 months past-self he wouldn't understand a word. but all i do is the same, except that i read less, drink less and write less, and i don't have you to keep me warm at night. i still play videogames, listen to music before i fall asleep, but don't go out with those friends anymore (it's a crushing relief). i'm "hopelessly hopeful" about the future and i can't wait to move to another country, i really can't

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I WILL PAY FOR THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE / Iteration: Woman Dreams Her Enemy / Iteration: “What is she dreaming?”; pencil, digital (mar. 29, ’25)