NO EXTENUATION

46,4kg

!!!

I’m not even too unhealthy atm

So I am reading the brochure my doctor gave me and it’s all about counting calories, protein and fats and nutritional information

And I doubt that this is the right thing for someone with an eating disorder

Going fo a walk in the evening with your headphones on

Walking in the dark with a bottle of cheap wine

I feel like he is distancing himself from me but was he even with me in the first place

I know I’m probably overthinking something that’s not even happening but boy I feel so insecure and uncertain I’m starting to get angry at him

He replied to my story so everything is fine I guess

Soo er hat es / mich vercheckt

I eat so much shitty food, have no routine and don’t really work out etc.

So I gained some weight and let me tell you how much I hate myself and how I look

Additionally I started talking to this guy I really like and probably for the first time in my life there is a real chance he will see me naked & I’m absolutely not here for it rn

Funny enough I don’t really care about him seeing my sh scars but the other day I tried on some of my nicer underwear and I looked like a fucking whale or something (with no ass & tiddies)

Not only all this fat on my waist and back is throwing me off but there is no shape to it

So now I developed a new intrusive thought of him hating my disgusting body