⋆˚࿔𝐪𝐰𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐳ᝰ.ᐟ

“Aren’t you being a little overdramatic?” Rowena admitted.

The sun shone perfectly through the leaves of the tree you and your friends lounged under. Rowena and Sylvie were lying on the thick grass, while your head rested on your knees that were tucked against your chest, your hands occupied by mindlessly flipping through the ‘Daily Prophet.’ Rowena snapped her fingers to reorient you back to reality from your daydreaming. It seems like getting lost in your imagination is all you can do these days. 

“Did you hear me?” Rowena added as she propped herself up onto her elbows. 

“Hm? Oh- yes, and no…I am not,” you set the piece of parchment onto your side. “Why do we have to talk about this here?” You looked around, making sure no one was close enough to hear the shame spill out of you. 

“Because! You need to get over this imaginary disaster you think would happen if you become friends with Cedric again,” Sylvie joined in, practically yelling out her frustrations. Her voice faded out in your head as you reached over into your bag for your wand, casting spells on the falling leaves to occupy yourself.

Sylvie gave a loud sigh, “Expelliarmus.” Your wand flew out of your hands several feet away; you shot a look towards Sylvie.

“What was that for?” you say, scowling at her.

“For ignoring us, of course.” Sylvie and Rowena were smirking, now looking past you. 

Your head fell back against the tree as a gesture of annoyance, shortly after you stood up to retrieve your wand. However, your heart nearly dropped as you saw Cedric holding your wand whilst approaching you. 

“I knew I recognized this wand,” he says while casually handing it back to you. 

Your lips slightly twitched into a smile, “You know me well,” you replied, in an attempt to avoid making the interaction awkward. 

“How could I forget? Always had to retrieve it when you kept losing it, our first year,” his smile grew. “It was fun for a time, seeing you absolutely freak out after realizing you lost your wand for the 5th time.”

You let out a small scoff, “Merlin, don’t remind me.” You look away as if you could fight off the embarrassment, your gaze falling onto his group of friends leaning against the stone walls, clearly finding amusement in watching the two of you converse, and your mood suddenly shifts. You never really got along with that lot. 

“Hey, so are you going to Hogsmeade this evening?” His head tilted to meet your wandering eyes.

You straightened yourself, “No uh-” you shook your head, “I’ve got other plans.”

“Oh, well, that's unfortunate,” he turned his head back to look at his friends. “Well, I’ve got to get going…don’t lose that wand,” he teased.

You returned a soft smile as the two of you parted, turning on your heels to face Sylvie and Rowena, who were giving each other knowing looks. 

“Merlin Sylvie, you did that on purpose!” you whined.

“And so what if I did? Seems like you two have no problem talking,” she says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“It is a problem, I don’t want people getting the wrong idea, besides, I don’t want to ruin what we left off because of a silly crush,” you sighed.

“I’m sure you cutting him off is much worse than your ‘silly crush,’” Rowena mocks your complaints.

She was right; once again, the truth pierced right through you. You hadn’t known why you did it, ignored him, and became more distant with your “seemingly” lack of interest in conversing. Maybe because you were young and dumb. But placing the blame solely on your immature past, more so present, felt like hypocrisy trickling down your spine. You thought that if Cedric truly wanted your friendship back, everything would just fall into place, like it always had for him. 

You had lied again, not intentionally. Sylvie and Rowena couldn’t let you miss the first trip of the year. It was the busiest and most lively time of the year at Hogsmeade, holidays being an exception, of course. And with all the young customers filling the street, surely meant it wasn’t likely you would bump into Cedric during your time there, you thought. 

You fixed your hair into your typical updo, threw on your favorite pair of clothes, and paired them with your boots. And suddenly you felt much more excited for the trip, finally being able to dress yourself in something other than robes and uniforms. You were lounging at the edge of your bed, waiting for Rowena and Sylvie to perfect their finishing touches to their makeup. Your shoes tapped on the floor as you contemplated the faulty hypothesis you had made about the probability of running into Cedric. What would you do? Approach him? Admit that you had lied and didn’t keep your promise for the hundredth time. You had been realizing all the faults in yourself, how you would only make it worse for yourself and Cedric if you kept up with the “distant friend” act. 

The walk to Hogmeade was filled with laughter, completely distracting you from the earlier interaction with Cedric. The autumn air was crisp and cool to your skin; nearby trees whispered in the light breeze. Soon after, the chatter of students and vendors filled the air. It smelled of sweet apple tarts and warm butterbeer, perfect for the autumn weather. This gave you an idea to treat Sylvie and Rowena to their favorite pastries and butterbeer. 

It was packed inside Honeydukes. Rowena and Sylvie scavenged the place while you avoided bumping into people's shoulders. Honeydukes was not always your cup of tea; the sweets were all too overwhelming; treating Sylvie and Rowena was a perfect excuse to sneak out. You told them to meet you at the Three Broomsticks, not to interrupt the good time they were having.

Walking alone had made you feel more self-conscious about the fact that you could run into Cedric and his friends at any moment, especially in the Three Broomsticks, the hotspot for students to mingle and groups to have their fun without the risk of a professor taking away house points. To your surprise, the warmly lit pub was not as busy as you suspected. 

“Three butterbeers, a pumpkin pastie, and a treacle tart, please.” 

The shopkeeper quickly brought your order; the visible bags under her eyes and her frizzled hair were enough to tell you the rough day she's been having. “That’ll be 4 Galleons.”

You pulled out your wallet only to find you were one Galleon short. You curse under your breath, swearing you had left over money in your wallet. You placed the three Galleons on the counter, rummaging through the loose items in your tote, in hopes of finding some stray sickles lying at the bottom of your bag. The shopkeeper let out an impatient sigh whilst glancing at the line of awaiting customers near the counter. 

To no avail, you were left with only three Galleons. “Could I grab my friends to help pay for this? I’m sure they’re just around the corner.” It was a silly request, in which she was soon to cut you off.

“Miss, you're not leaving until this order is paid,” she snapped.

Before you could defend yourself, a hand moved the money on the counter back towards you, and the other wrapped around your shoulder. You turned your head to see Cedric, far too close, reaching into his pocket, “How rude of me for letting my girlfriend pay, how much?” He took the money from his pocket, gave the shopkeeper a warm smile and a sweet “thank you” as if he had done this before. He took the tray of drinks and desserts, beckoning with his head, and you followed behind him. 

“What was that?” you questioned as your pace quickened to match his. 

“What was what?” he asks, clearly teasing, while also avoiding the question.

You hesitated for a moment, “Was it really necessary to call me your girlfriend?”

“Ah, well, you wouldn’t want to get on her bad side, unless you don’t mind cold butterbeer,” he explained, “she likes me…or at least enjoys my company, if she knew you were with me, I’m sure she would forget about snapping at you.” 

You wondered how long he had been watching your embarrassing interaction. He went quiet for a moment, as if he were carefully picking his words, “Besides, everyone already thinks we're dating, might as well play into it.” Dangerous. 

He placed the tray down on an empty table, gesturing for you to take your seat. You turned to face him. His brows furrowed, head tilted at your refusal to sit down just yet. You sighed, “Look, I don’t want to have this conversation again, but I can’t play into the whole dating rumor-”

“There you are!” Sylvie interrupted with Rowena next to her. 

“Cedric? Surprise to see you here,” Rowena shot you a look. Cedric greeted them, flashing his sweet smile. 

“Did you buy these for us?” Sylvie's face lit up at the sight of the pumpkin pastie and back up at you.

“Oh,” you faltered for a moment, “actually Ce-”

“She did, I was just helping her find an empty table with the tray,” Cedric chimes in, “I thought it was sweet of her.” You scoff at his overtly praising comment.

Rowena and Sylvie took their seat next to each other. “Cedric, you can sit with us,” Sylvie eagerly nods at him. 

Your eyes narrowed at Sylvie, “Uhm, Cedric, are you sure your friends wouldn’t mind your disappearance?”

“No, not at all, I’m sure they're busy having their own fun,” he gladly complies and sits next to you.

Your head pounded at the thought of the awkward silence you were expecting. To your surprise, the conversation flowed, thanks to Sylvie and Rowena's natural ability to be sociable. Lots of talk about Quidditch and reminiscing about past years persisted, but mainly plans after Hogwarts. It hadn’t occurred to you how much you’ve missed out on hearing about Cedric's plans, as kids he would talk of being a professor. He knew he was smart and could be a reputable teacher, and you thought so, too. 

“After 4th year, I thought of wanting to be able to help people, and I can do so by catching dark wizards to make the world a less despicable place,” Cedric confesses. 

“That's tough work,” Rowena replies, and Sylvie nods in agreement.

“I think you’d be an amazing auror,” you added. Rowena's right, you thought; it is tough work, even dangerous. You didn't doubt his abilities one bit; he had always cared for others, sometimes a little too much. He was stubborn, but not in an immature way; he’s determined, and you always admired that about him. 

It was a simple compliment, and you were only being truthful. Rowena had other ideas and flashed you a familiar smile, the one that always followed with a plan you had no idea about. She excused herself and Sylvie because she just so happened to have forgotten to stock up on extra ink and wax seals. Before leaving, she says, “Meet us at the owlpost later, yeah?” She insisted you stay to finish your butterbeer and not let it go to waste. 

You shifted in your seat, now realizing the booth you and Cedric had shared is smaller than you thought. Your arms rested on the table; it had slipped your mind to order Cedric something, so you slid your Butterbeer to him, offering the rest. 

“Its not the first time we shared,” you tried breaking the tension, giving him a sheepish smile.

Your feet shuffled from underneath the table, accidentally bumping into his. “Sorry,” you murmured.

He smiled into the drink, letting out a small huff. “I thought you were skipping out on Hogsmeade today?”

You sank further into the booth, your eyes fluttered away from his, “I was planning on staying back, truly, but Sylvie and Rowena didn’t want me missing the first trip. It's not because of you asking me or anything.” You stopped yourself from rambling, not wanting him to get any wrong ideas. 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t think so,” he said reassuringly.

He held his gaze on you for much longer. Your eyes locked onto his, but occasionally looked away for a moment to alleviate the knot in your stomach. His hand made its way to the tips of your hair, his fingers gently intertwining into your locks. You watched as his eyes gleamed with adoration, following his hand up to your ear, and tucking the stray hair behind. Your skin practically burned from the contact; you wanted to melt into his hand and feel the warmth of his touch. He ever so slightly leaned into you, and the ambient noise of the pub faded away. 

“Beautiful,” his voice was almost as low as a whisper.

Your pulse quickened, and your face felt flushed at his praise. Just before his hand could reach your jaw, he placed it right over yours that was resting on the seat of the booth, as if too careful to touch your face. You glanced down at the contact.

You swallowed, “What will others say? Seeing us like this?” 

His hand squeezed yours. “Who cares what the others think.”

“I wish it were that simple,” you breathed. 

He tilted his head to reach your weary eyes, “I know it may seem scary right now, but I know you’ll overcome it, you always do.” His voice went smooth and sweet like honey. 

The corners of your lips tugged into a soft smile, as if thanking him for his reassurance. Noticing the group of laughter coming from behind Cedric, you broke eye contact. His friends were standing a few feet away from the entrance, and a few others were trickling in from the entrance. 

“I think your friends are looking for you,” you nod towards the direction of the group. You fixed and straightened your posture, now suddenly self-conscious of the view they had just walked into. 

Cedric turned around and was greeted with one of the boys lifting his hand, signaling for him to come over. 

“Wanna join us?” Cedric gently lifted your hand before you could even answer, as if he knew of your urges to disappear at this moment. 

He led you out of the seat, but you dropped your hand to the side before he could take you any further. “I should go meet up with Sylvie and Rowena at the owlpost,” you admitted sheepishly, your hand fidgeting with the strap of your bag. He must have noticed the embarrassment that hung over your shoulders as he responded with a simple nod, his lips pressed together.

“I’ll see you around then,” he responded. His hands shoved into his pockets before heading towards his friends. 

It all felt too real. You occasionally smiled to yourself at the thought of Cedric being so close, and with each step you took, you could feel your heartbeat pulsate through your body when you realized the reality of the situation. Your hand was constantly tugging at the lock of hair that was spun around Cedric's fingers, and your mind was replaying the word beautiful in his velvety voice. The crowded streets of the town were clouded with the sheer thought of you and Cedric potentially taking it further in that pub. No, you wouldn’t let it happen. Or was it only because of the people around? You shook off the worries and reminded yourself of your efforts to go with the flow when it comes to your relationship with Cedric. 

“So, anything happen?” Sylvie slung her arm around you.

“Nothing much,” you shrugged it off. But really, it was everything.

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☆┇He loves it when you curl his hair between your fingers; sometimes, you fidget with his hair subconsciously and wouldn’t notice till he nudges you for more. 

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

☆┇His favorite love language to give and receive.

☆┇He is always reassuring you and praising your accomplishments. He is quick to shut down any negative comments you make about yourself. He loves to talk about how lucky he is to be with you and how much you inspire him.

☆┇Compliments you every day. Whether it be how you look, or even just admiring your presence. Sometimes, he would purposefully whisper compliments in your ear to make you flustered. When you compliment him, he usually tries to act smug about it, except he gets all soft inside. 

𝐐𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞:

☆┇He sometimes will wake you late at night when he gets bored and wants to sneak off. Only occasionally does this, as he doesn’t always want to disturb your sleep, he makes it up to you by stopping by the kitchen to pick up your favorite pastries.

☆┇He will fight through boredom just to spend time with you, specifically during library/study sessions or when you just want to relax and read. He would make some complaints and purposefully annoy you in the process, but quickly stops if you become visibly annoyed. 

𝐆𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠:

☆┇He will remember the simplest things about you, which will always show up in his gifts; he doesn’t prioritize the money value or the size of the gift, but rather the meaning behind it. He always picks out items that remind him of you.

☆┇Times when you don’t feel like going to Hogsmead, he always comes back with a surprise present, either being your favorite treats or drink, or sometimes something new he thinks you would enjoy.

☆┇He also surprises you by buying things that you had forgotten you mentioned. Like complaining about your new quill, he buys you a new one. You briefly mentioned your socks having holes, a few days later, he gives you a new pair. 

𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞:

☆┇Peak princess treatment when he's around you: Will tie your shoes before you even notice the laces came undone, prepares your plate of breakfast before you arrive, grabs all the supplies and puts them away for you during potions class, etc. Sometimes Fred teases him about it, but he always comes in defense by saying you deserve it. 

☆┇If you are feeling sick, he will willingly go to the library and look up a potion recipe to brew to make you feel better; he insists on doing so instead of you being sent to the infirmary.

You weren’t the only straggler showing up at the great hall late; a few others entered before you. You quickly scan the room, not only looking for your friends, but also wondering where Cedric is. Distracted and at ease, his group busily conversed, and a few laughs escaped. “Y/n!,” a voice called out. You drew your head back towards the sound; your roommates, Sylvie and Rowena, who were also your close friends, were gesturing for you to come over.  You softly smiled and took one more glance back at Cedric, his eyes peering at you now. You still wore the smile on your face, but much more faded, and he returned one back. A few of his friends turned to look at you, smirking like they knew something you didn’t. You headed towards your friends, feeling more pairs of eyes following you up until you sat down. It sounded like murmurs grew, but it may just be your paranoia.

Your friends wore the same pair of eyes as the other students. “Am I going crazy?” shooting a look at Sylvie, who folded her lips and looked down at her half-eaten meal, “no, seriously, what's going on?” you added. You look back and forth at your friends conspicuously while grabbing a piece of toast and some eggs. 

Rowena nudges your shoulder, “Had fun last night?” You paused mid-bite, your brows knitted.

“Doing homework..? It was splendid,” you replied with a hint of blandness, muffled by the toast you were scarfing down. 

“You are such a liar! Why didn’t you tell us you were on a date?!” Sylvie abruptly exclaimed. You went utterly pallid, your face becoming wide-eyed. “With Cedric??” she added.

Rowena rested her head on her hands with a taunting smile plastered on, "That's one way to rekindle your friendship.”

You smack her on the shoulder, “We were not on a date…” your voice dropping to a whisper.

“Ha! So you admit you were with him,” Sylvie challenged.

You stammered, “Merlin no! Well- yes, I was... but it was nothing of the sort.” You felt the heat spread to your cheeks. “You two are the only ones that know about this, right?” You presumed others had already caught on, but asking gave you some sort of comfort. 

“Well..not exactly, you see it's been the hottest buzz this morning, a few girls even came up to us asking if the rumors were true,” Rowena admitted.

You groaned while bringing both your hands to cover your face, and you rubbed your temples, indicating the start of a throbbing headache. 

“You really didn’t expect this kind of news to spread? The untouchable ‘golden boy’ of the year finally has a girlfriend?” Sylvie added.

“Again! I’m not his girlfriend,” you snapped a little too loudly.

Rowena laughed, “We believe you don’t worry... we’re just excited that you and Cedric are friends again, you wouldn’t stop talking about him in 4th year.” She rubbed your back to soothe your tense posture. You were reminded of the time when you were deep into your crush on Cedric, how you forbade it from happening, and confessing was not an option. 

“What have people…been saying?” A part of you really didn’t want to face reality, but the other half wanted to truly know what you’re getting into. Sylvie didn’t give a direct answer, attempting to hide the fact that people were saying much nastier things. She said something along the lines of, “er- just about you and him,” followed with a “ya know?” trying to sound convincing. Your feet began to tap the stone floor rigorously, your thoughts filling with possible remarks people have said.

Your classes fell into a blur, and you skipped out on eating lunch at the great hall, wanting to get away from the whispers and stares. You were on your way to potions, the one class you shared with Cedric. You managed to avoid encountering him throughout the day, but the forced proximity wouldn’t help you in this case. Your eyes avoided the other students' gazes as you walked through the bustling hall. You had unknowingly bumped into one of Cedric's notorious admirers, and you quickly apologized. Her face fixed into a glare when she noticed it was you. She muttered something under her breath, but you were frozen in position, your lips slightly parted, until she and her friends had walked off. 

You kept your eyes etched on your potions book, constantly double-checking if you had the right ingredients and measurements. Your quill rolling back and forth against your fingers, occasionally writing down notes, and your hands fidgeting with whatever you had a grasp on. You felt Cedric gaze over you multiple times, as if trying to tell you he had something to say with unspoken words. Finally, nearing the end of class, you had successfully brewed the assigned Wolfsbane potion, which was rewarded with 5 additional points to your house by Professor Slughorn and a well-deserved feeling of satisfaction. Your hands were full carrying the glass phials, neatly organizing them in the supply closet, and the chatter of students echoed in the air as everyone rushed out of class. A feeling of warmth crept up behind you, the smell of a crisp summer morning, and the hint of cinnamon filled your senses. You recognize the familiar scent, an aroma that seemed so common, but only that of a unique and special person holds. 

“Well done,” his voice said casually, yet so affectionate. You nearly fumbled the glass phials as you placed them on the shelf, your body turning around to the pace of your heart beating, quick and careful. Cedric's head was now slightly tilted; his glossy, bright eyes softened as he met yours. You blinked away, breaking the contact, and turned back around to set your supplies down. 

You cleared your throat, “Thank you…it was nothing.”

You turned to look at him again. He was close, but you didn’t mind, not really. He reached above you, placing his small jar of herbs back on the shelf, the space between you slightly closing. He gazed down at you, your face feeling flushed, and before your legs could weaken, you stepped aside. You gripped the strap of your schoolbag, the other hand clinging onto the fabric of your robes. Cedric's hand moved to his pockets, “Look..uh–,” he sighed. His face went uncertain, as if he needed to get something off his chest, “We need to talk abou–”

“Not– not right now,” your voice almost whispering, “not here at least.” You instantly knew he was asking to talk about the rumors; you couldn’t hear the end of it. The last thing you wanted in that moment was to be stuck with Cedric any longer; you couldn’t take it anymore, the frustration of trying to figure him out, understand why he kept making you feel this way. 

“Right,” he nodded, looking down. “I’ll see you sometime then,” he said with a hint of disappointment before turning to head out of the class. 

“M’sorry,” you grabbed the cuff of his robe, you hadn’t known why, it just felt right in the moment. You wanted to fully grab him, embrace and comfort him, spill all your apologies right then and there. It didn’t take long for him to relax at your sudden contact. You let him go.

“It’s okay…I understand,” he responded with such gentleness as if you were something fragile he did not want to ruin. 

You tucked yourself into a quiet corner of the library, trying to engross yourself in a book, your finger flicking the corner of the page you have been staring at for minutes. Your mind constantly replaying Cedric hovering over you from hours ago. The sun was beginning to set, the silent fire warming your cold, numb hands, and the splashes of gold in the sky lay happily as if nightfall wouldn’t eventually swallow it whole. Your body slumped, and your head fell back, the crest rail of the chair supporting your neck. You closed your eyes for a moment, taking in the cold crisp air of the library. Your book slowly closed as the hand supporting it opened fell to your thighs. Your breathing deepened, and your mind finally reached a relaxed state. It was cut short when a faint sound of paper crackling hit your table, and a small paper crane was still flapping its wings at the impact of its fall. Definitely enchanted, the paper had undone itself, lying on the table with its creases still visible. You picked it up, bringing it closer to your face. 

Meet me upstairs in the astronomy tower in 5 – C. 

Cedric's handwriting, although slightly messy this time, was definitely written with hesitation and urgency. You folded the paper in half immediately, tucking it between the pages you had left off at. You held your breath for a brief moment, not wanting to let him down again. You packed your things and sped towards the astronomy tower. Slowing down as you approached the spiraling staircase, you could’ve turned back, pretended like you never received the note. But being able to see him again, it felt wonderful, but not like this; You had hoped your crush on Cedric had faded away, except he was only making it worse, and on top of that, you didn’t want to feed into the rumors. You ignored your instincts, finally reaching the top of the tower, you circled the balcony, only to find it empty. Must have been a stupid prank…foolish of me, you thought. 

Heavy footsteps tread up the stairs. You approached the sound, and Cedric appeared, nearing the top of the steps, disheveled, his hair tussled; his face flushed, dripping with sweat, and still in his Quidditch uniform. The two of you stood there for a moment, exchanging relieved looks.

“You alright?” you asked. 

His chest was heaving. “Um- yes…fine,” he replied breathlessly as he approached you. “Look, I- uh, know you don’t want to talk about the rumors right now, but I couldn’t help but see you…” 

Your lips slightly parted, feeling lost on how to approach his confession, “Yes, about that…” You felt your gaze get lost in his glowing eyes. It was gleaming with passion; he always had a way with making you feel seen, you thought. You snap out of your trance, “Maybe- we shouldn’t see each other…not in that way-,” you hesitated, tightening your lips. The chaos in your chest heightened at your assertion, “You know what I mean.”

Cedric's brows furrowed, his gaze narrowed, “I’m sorry, are you saying we shouldn’t be friends again?”

“If that's what will stop the rumors, then…” You shrugged, breaking eye contact. 

He let out a short, bitter laugh, shaking his head, “And I was foolish enough to think this would bring us closer together…maybe you'd stop ignoring me.”

Cedric's accusation panged in your chest. “You think hearing nasty things and being stared at would bring me closer to you?” you say with more assertion.

The gusts of wind filled the silence on the balcony, “I didn’t know they had been bothering you so much.” He took a few steps closer to you.

“Of course they do.” Your voice is slightly raised. “You wouldn’t understand how it is to feel and hear you are unfit for someone…you.” You caught yourself before making an embarrassing confession, you wanted to shout at him, pour all your feelings out, except you just remained quiet. Your face felt flushed as the blood rushed to your head. “I have to go,” you said before turning away.

Cedric grabbed your hand in which you immediately retracted. His hand hovered in the air for a moment as if not wanting to fully let go, “Please, why are you leaving again?”

Your body felt weakened, “Because I'll do something stupid if I stay.”

You shove the thick books and parchment into your bag, standing up without acknowledging your surroundings. You took a sharp turn around the corner of the herbology aisle accidentally bumping into a tall figure. Cedric Diggory, the golden boy of your year, his humble and talented nature instantly drew you in your first year at Hogwarts. Soon after becoming friends you decided to suppress your feelings, only admiring from afar. Though he always found a way to get under your skin, being effortlessly perfect and all, he managed to attract unsolicited attention from several girls, which used to make you jealous.

“I am so sorry-” you said within a heartbeat, his hand still resting on your shoulder stabilizing you from the impact. Your eyes veered towards his hand, which he then quickly retracted after your sudden notice of the contact. 

“M’sorry y/n I just heard noise coming from around the corner and thought a few first years were trying to sneak off.” 

You took a slight step back opening the distance between you and Ced, “Right prefect duty..I uhm- was just about to head back to the common room.” 

You were nearing the doors of the library till Cedric called out to you, “Y/n, I could uh- walk you back to the y/h common room.” A friendly smile tugged at his lips. You roll your eyes at another one of his friendly gestures, “I don’t need a personal escort Ced I can manage..thanks though.” you say, giving him a sickly smile.

 “Oh c’mon we never get to hang out, and besides, I wouldn't want you getting caught by another prefect.” He quickened his pace matching yours and suddenly he was walking side by side with you, your shoulders occasionally brushing each other.

The stroll was quickly filled with silence, with Cedric being occupied with quidditch along with prefect duties the two of you hardly had time to catch up with one another, and breaking contact didn’t help your flustered state, but nonetheless Cedric being so understanding he never took notice of your behavior, or at least thats what you thought.

The unexpected rush of events of you waking up and bumping into Cedric made your mind feel scattered, finally adjusting to the time, the moment starts feeling more real. Cedric breaks the silence, of course he does. “I haven’t seen you around much lately..what’s new?”

“Hm..you know the usual, homework..attempting to squeeze in a social life, of course beating you as first in class.” 

“Ah there it is,” his smile grew. 

“What is?,” you look up at him expecting to figure out the answer through his facial expressions.

“Your competitive nature, always admired that about you,” he says coolly.

Admired. This phrase sits in your head for a minute, realizing you haven’t responded. “I am not!” You say a little too sharply.

“You so are! Remember when you ignored me for two days because you accused me of cheating in wizards chess.” Remember when was always your favorite phrase when talking to Cedric.

“I swear you hexed that board.. I still stand by that,” you exclaimed, “and besides we were 12, I was simply peeved.”

“Hm.. seems like you have been for a while,” he says as if he’s been pondering our distance, a subtle hurt in his voice.

The air feels thicker and the silence feels louder. “I’m not ignoring you Ced, you know how busy we’ve been, it's not your fault.” You partially lied, yes both of you have been busy, but the stolen moments between the two of you have been non-existent as you ignored these chances in fear of getting distracted. You feel a little pit of guilt form in your stomach.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he wasn’t affirming in his usual tone, instead agreeing just to flow with the conversation and an attempt to hide the fact he knew the reason as to why the both of you have drifted.

A few thuds and murmurs of footsteps echoed in the distance, your head turns sharply and your body becomes stiffer at the sound. You subconsciously drew yourself closer to Cedric, he took notice of your sudden shift in behavior. It was like second nature to him, always on the lookout for when you become uncomfortable. “Don’t worry about it..I’m sure it's just Filch hoping to catch some third years in the act.”

You slightly purse your lips, looking straight ahead. The distance between the two of you never strayed, even as you reached the common room. You whisper the password, and the doors feel as though they are opening painfully slower. Before entering you glance back at Cedric who was approaching just behind you, “Thanks for walking with me,” and you genuinely meant it. 

His face softens, “Of course..we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” He says as if it was a promise, more like a desire to not lose the warmheartedness woven into your friendship. You nod, unable to say no, yet you didn’t feel the need to, or even want to. Expecting this was the last interaction with Cedric for tonight, he placed his hand on the curve of your back. The tips of his fingers ever so slightly making contact with the ends of your hair, guiding you through the entrance. The warmth of his hand piercing through the fabric of your uniform, traveling straight to your face. Seeing that you were past the entrance his arm dropped to his side, coolly and intentionally, as if he didn’t regret a thing. 

You couldn’t sleep, not after finally breaking contact with your best friend. You couldn’t shake off the fact that he took deep notice in your parting, even if it had been months, hell years. How you’ve been slowly distancing yourself ever since he became quidditch captain, when he started taking his prefect duties seriously, and his popularity growing each year. It wasn’t your crowd, you’ve always thought, he pleases and you watch him and his group of friends enjoying themselves. How you yearn to be able to “fit in,” but this didn’t stop you from being satisfied with keeping your peace.