🖕🏻

Firsts and lasts.

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

immediately cracking open a Canada Dry

slutty little glasses, all black 'fit, serving 90's Keanu realness

calling the audience freaks (/accusatory) (/affectionate)

repeating the phrase "cock sock" multiple times, testing their censorship

continuing to explain said cock sock with hand motions and gestures, jimmy's life flashing before his eyes as he tries to deflect the conversation

"There's so little gay sex when I watch hockey."

shoutout Empty Netters

calling hockey "the boy aquarium"

ordering jimmy fallon in an adorable (but terrible) russian accent: "On Your Knees"

[getting on his knees] "This is how I spent 90% of filming"

"Wider jimmy, I doubt you're stretching your hips"

gears visibly spinning, he momentarily considers getting ON TOP of Fallon's desk to demonstrate a hockey stretch

[waving to the camera] "Hi, mom!" [immediately dropping back into a back-arching hip-gyrating frog stretch]

HEATED RIVALRY 1.05 "I'll Believe in Anything"