Poetry

I feel everything at once and I hate my mother for what she’s put me through, but I love her for what she’s done for me. She’s been emotionally absent for so long. I don’t know what her love feels like that. She tries to give it to me, but it never feels like love. Mom said that my birth mother didn’t hold me. She says that’s why she thinks I can’t form bonds. I don’t think I’ve ever felt love. I don’t know what love is. everyone’s left me. My dog was crying in the vet and all I can think of is will she be quiet? My mom told my counselor I literally want to murder her sometimes and all I could think was what am I gonna eat for breakfast? There has to be something wrong with me. I shouldn’t feel this way when I get frustrated I get angry and want to kill or hurt something when I get sad everything feels so much. I want to hurt myself or jump off a roof. It’s like the tiniest things sets me off all the time and I don’t know what to do cause sometimes something sets me off another time it doesn’t and it’s just everything‘s all over the place and sometimes I can’t even get out of bed in the morning because it seems exhausted so I lay down and sleep. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep cause I’m so tired but then when I actually try to lay down, I don’t sleep. I can’t I sleep. why can’t I just be normal?

I’m a little late but thought I’d try this trend

What if it gets worse?

why do I even try?

Only to teach and have fond memories of