rosie

That was not a lie. It was actually 50% of his main reasons anyway. The other 50% was to repent what he missed with Suguru when he chose his dark path—his contempt with the current system of this jujutsu world.

"I would," Yaga responded gruffly. To him, Satoru was irritating, but he also knew that he was also extremely capable, and thus everything he did wasn't just out of nowhere. "But you still have to submit your applications. We can't make an exception even if you come from a prestigious clan."

"That's fine with me," he grinned. "Thanks, sensei."

On summer days, he'd get reminded of Suguru and silly things they had done together. Eating shaved ice, cycling together, driving either you, Shoko or Nanami mad. Satoru missed those days, it hadn't been the same ever since. Not knowing if his best friend was alright—if he was still alive at all—was exhausting.

Sometimes, he felt like he was the only one who was affected by his departure, the only one who stayed right where Suguru left him. Shoko didn't seem ruffled, if anything she just went to more bars and pachinko parlors as of late. Nanami was always a recluse, he never disclosed his feelings. You mourned him, but it was clear that most part of you would always be more focused on Haibara's death.

Satoru understood that he couldn't force anyone to feel what he felt, and he had no right to. But sometimes, he just wanted someone to connect with at his level. Someone to get him just like Suguru did.

And so when he got back to his condo that night—just right next to the one he rented for Megumi and Tsumiki, since he had moved out of his dorm—to find his girlfriend there with a big smile and a tray of cupcakes, unaware of everything and anything, he merely scoffed to himself.

"Satoru, you're back," you acknowledged, beaming like the sunshine you were. "I just baked these for the kids. Do you want some?"

Usually he'd smother you, throw some pickup lines here and there and say yes, but today, he just felt drained. "No." And with that, he stalked away to the bathroom, not glancing back at you.

It was wrong. But tonight he just wanted some peace and quiet, and so keeping his silence seemed to be the best choice as he didn't want to start a pointless argument with you. But you weren’t anything but observant, and definitely noticed that something was amiss with him.

"Are you... alright?" You approached him warily after he came out of the bathroom with wet hair. "Where were you today?"

"Just somewhere," he replied curtly. Afterwards he turned on the hairdryer, drowning the whole place with the noise even as you stood behind him with a visible question mark.

But you were still there after he dried his hair. "Is something bothering you?" you asked with a tilt of your head, concerned. By all means, you mean well. You just wanted to know if he could use your help at all.

When you pulled that expression, he couldn't help feeling annoyed, like he wanted you to take a hint, but you just didn't. "If you know, then just shut it."

It was probably the first time since the two of you got together that Satoru actually said something harsh. But you still tried to be reasonable though, bless you.

"Satoru, I don't know what got into your nerves like this, but I think sleeping through it might help. Have a rest."

"Why are you talking as if you know it?" he snapped, finally turning to you with his cold gaze. "You might not know anything, so don't be a know-it-all. Just mind your own business."

Now you were frustrated with his reply. "Once again, I don't know what happened to you. But if you're taking it out on me because I'm the closest you have—"

"Who said that?" Satoru didn't know where he got all this venom from. It was just at the forefront of his mind and he just got the urge to spew it. "You're considering yourself closest to me? Where did you get that big head from?"

You were aghast, and you blinked a few times to get your bearings. "Let me guess, it's about Geto-san, isn't it? Or the higher ups. Either of that must be what causing you to blindly place your anger on me."

"So what if it was? It isn't like you'll understand anyway."

"Satoru," you started, trying to even your breathing. "What happened to Geto-san isn't your fault. I've been telling you this. It can't be helped—"

"Can't be helped?" he jeered. "Do you know why it has come to this?" his tone took a dangerous edge as he stepped closer. He reached for you, grasping your wrist.

"Maybe because I was too blind back then. If it weren't for you—if only I didn't spend that much time on you, maybe he would still be here."

Did he just say that? Did he just imply that he had regretted the two of you getting together?

You felt your lower lip start to tremble and something seemed to obscure and blur your vision, making it hard to see him clearly. "You... don't mean that."

"Really?" the corner of his lips curled into a disparaging smile. "You never know. Before you know it, this can be over already. After all, I could have anyone out there that I want. Maybe someone less nosey than—”

That did it. You wrenched your arm out of his grip violently, as your first tear fell. His smirk vanished too, replaced with a total stillness to cover his sudden panic that was followed by a sudden sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach.

"You selfish, self-obsessed jerk," you hissed through watery eyes. He was taken aback, even amidst your anger and possible fear of him, your still managed to throw daggers at him. "Fine. You have it. I'll see myself out."

Satoru never wanted you to leave. Honestly, he would've made you stay. But he wasn't in the right state of mind and it was too late to take back what he said. He didn't want to mess this up even further.

You left the cupcakes, even throwing it away just to spite him. Driven by pain and humiliation, you choked back your sob and didn't spare a glance at him as you shut the door.

Peace and quiet. There he had it, he thought as he clenched his fists, at the cost of everything else.

Leaving that condo, every step you took felt like needles piercing your shattered heart. You wiped your tears roughly. No, you refused to cry over such asshole. He made it clear, didn't he? Whatever it was that you two shared, it was at the cost of his best friend leaving him. So now the blame was on you.

If you were thinking clearly, you would've understood that his words were likely a result of his own pent-up pain and frustration that he had kept to himself for some while. But you had no patience for that or even pinpoint what you felt right now—anger, disappointment or dread, or perhaps all three. You just felt wrongly accused.

Your feet brought you back to your dorm in the school. Now it wasn't as bustling as it once were. After Satoru and Shoko's graduation, you didn't really get close to anyone. There was Ichiji, but he treated you more like a mentor rather than a classmate.

As you sank into the comforts of your bed, You replayed the events, trying to find where it went wrong—and found nothing. After all, you had already said all that could be said. It wasn't just him who lost Geto, but you, Shoko and Nanami did too, but it was more convenient for Satoru to blame everyone else rather than trying to understand that they too shared this pain.

Nevertheless, you were disappointed. You didn't expect half of what he spouted, and it got you doubting everything you had.

"You've royally fucked up."

Satoru exhaled, glaring at Shoko through the corner of his eyes. "Yeah, maybe."

The reverse cursed technique user threw him a blank stare, taking in everything from his disheveled hair to his wrinkled trousers. "Gojo, as much as I can’t care less about your sorry ass, I'm saying this not out of concern for you, but rather for Y/N. You are an asshole."

The puff of smoke she blew expanded to create a cloud-like shape. "Yaga-sensei was our teacher. His student is now a mass murderer and wanted dead. Can you even imagine how he feels? And I can't believe I'm saying this—but weren't there three of us?"

A week had gone by and instead of doing the right thing like trying to get into your good graces, Satoru was in Shoko's infirmary in the headquarters instead. He didn't exactly know what he was looking for by going here. Maybe some lingering taste of his happier student days, and Shoko was the only one remaining.

Three of us, huh... she was right. That was precisely why he came here after all.

"You're just sulking because it seems no one cares about your best friend being the best there is. But have you thought about how our juniors also lost Haibara? Right in front of their eyes? Haibara was our friend too."

He was wrong, of course he was. Satoru realized that now. But it felt wrong to ask for your forgiveness now, not to mention the disrupting thought he had—should he let you go for good altogether?

The phone suddenly rang with such fervor that made Shoko utter a swear word. She was on call duty for the rescue team today, and it was supposedly a peaceful day until Satoru decided to barge in to become her company. "Hello? Ichiji? What—speak clearly, I can't hear you."

She switched it to loudspeaker. "...iri-san! Ieiri-san—h-help—please—"

It was noisy, and blaring at the same time, and Ichiji was... Sobbing? Choking? His voice was terribly muffled and—

"L/N-san!" he cried, and Satoru remembered at that moment that you should be in a mission with Ichiji, he remembered you telling him before.

"Hic—s-she fell... hic—she fell! B-blood! She i-is bleeding so much! I-Ieiri-san—hic—s-send help! Please!"

"Hey, stay awake. Breathe. Just breathe."

Everything hurt. Most notably, your head. You could hardly think straight when all you felt was blinding pain and how your breaths came in short wheezes. 

Your vision was blurry. The numbness had started to set in and chills ran up and down your spine. You couldn't make out who in front of you was. Was it Ichiji, who went with you in this mission? The only thing that glared was blue.

"You can't sleep, you hear me?" the voice was commanding, willing you to do his bidding. It was familiar, but usually his tone of voice was much lighter, happier.

Satoru.

But why was he here? He wasn't in this mission. It was supposed to be a mission for you and Ichiji.

You remembered getting the cursed spirit after manifesting your domain expansion, until in its last ditch attempt, it went after Ichiji. You had no choice—even when your cursed energy had burned out, you still shoved him away at the cost of being flung from the top of a building.

Not again. Not after Haibara. You’d gladly pay the price if it meant you didn't have to see anyone die in front of you again.

"I..." You managed to croak out—breathing hurt, and you felt your hands being grasped tightly.

"Hey, just breathe. Y/N. Look at me.” Through your blurry haze, you focused on that cold blue, and you saw him. Satoru's sharp eyes, pursed lips and frown. He's really here.

Satoru always said that if there was a cursed spirit apocalypse, then Ichiji would be the first to die. You used to scold him for that, but now as you a laid here possibly dying in your own pool of blood, you found it to be true.

Yet at the same time you knew that with him here, Ichiji must be safe already, and it gave you reassurance so great even when you were on the verge of dying. "I... can't..."

"Yes, you can. Just look at me," he firmly rebuked, his voice came out in a hiss. For all the time you had been with him, you had never heard him so forceful. "If you close your eyes now, I won't forgive you. So please, just hang in there."

It was a struggle to take in any air and darkness encroached on your vision as your consciousness began slipping away.

And everything faded to nothingness.

Satoru honestly thought he had no fears. His worst fear had fully realized after all—Suguru going away into the darkness. What more could he possibly fear?

But when he heard Ichiji's distress call for rescue team, about how you fell from a rooftop of a building and unconscious, he realized that it was a fear he didn't know existed. His mind got disoriented and he teleported to the scene on impulse. He just had to see it for himself. With their petty argument still lacking closure, he felt even worse.

And the sight before him gave him so much fright he never thought was possible.

It was a mistake, he should have brought Shoko along.

You had laid there like a broken doll, your eyes dimmed, and not been able to breathe. He desperately tried to keep you awake, his presence beside you, yet it didn't seem to matter. He watched helplessly as you passed out in his arms.

Satoru felt nothing. The panic that had set in was suddenly gone as your limp body slumped against him, replaced by incessant ringing in his ears and tremor wracking his nervous system. It wasn't long until the rescue team came to retrieve you and even then he still felt numb. He rejected the idea that you might possibly die on him.

That went on until Shoko, who assisted in the emergency treatment, came out of the surgery, sweat on her forehead.

"It's even worse than the aftermath of the guardian deity mission last year," Shoko explained with a grim expression. "Her brain has sustained damage and it affects everything. It may take her quite a while before she can go back to the field."

When she said that, Satoru felt terror washed over him again. You almost died—was all he perceived.

The two of you had no contact for a week just because of his ego. He could still recall that day with vivid clarity, feeling a burning ache in his chest. If someone were to ask him what heartbreak was like, now he certainly would he able the to tell them the two instances in which he experienced them. What he felt now mirrored the same stinging sensation he had felt when Suguru left him.

He visited you when he was allowed to, and you were still unconscious, with many machines connected to your body. It was a sight he still couldn’t bring himself to get used to. He had seen you injured before, but never seen you in your own pool of blood, so this made him feel sick to his stomach.

"Stupid," he whispered, gently rubbing your forehead. His eyes remained fixated on you as you rested, his insides still churning with emotions. "You're not weak, and you're not hopeless." Once upon a time, Satoru might have thought of you as weak, but now he knew better.

"So why you always pick the worst decision?" The more he thought this could've been avoided, the more irked he was. The thought that he could have done something to prevent it intensified the sting of guilt, and he continued to punish himself with it.

And the more he dwelled on the idea that he had hurt you prior to this, the tighter his breath became.

But that was who you were. Self-sacrificing to a fault. And he loved you for that. There was no way of him letting you go now.

It astonished even himself—that he was capable of this love thing. At first it was an attraction, but now that you had been going on for more than a year, it felt like it was no longer a silly infatuation after all.

"Hurry and wake up, will you?" Satoru gently brushed your hair aside, his eyes fixed on you. He didn't know it even as his gut twisted, his frown deepened and his touch quivered, that he was worried sick. "I have a lot to make up for."

And he left you with a tender brush of his lips against your forehead.

Nanami Kento was the first person you saw when you awoke from coma.

You struggled to regain your senses, still feeling absolutely broken. The dull throb on the back of your head was still there, and as if you had found yourself trapped in a fog, you were only able to move sluggishly.

"You're awake?" his gruff voice greeted, laced with concern. In his hand were a bucket of fresh flowers and fruits basket, which he soon placed at the table next to your bed.

It was unexpected, because ever since the tragedy that costed Haibara's life, the two of you had been drifting apart.

You nodded, and let out a hum in response—all you could manage at the moment.

"Thank God." Nanami sounded relieved as he pinched the bridge between his eyes, and you were moved that he had shown this degree of concern.

Your remaining classmate, who suffered the burden of Haibara's life just like you. He was always quiet or brooding somewhere, hiding his own feelings.

You felt tears pricking the corner of your eyes. The fact that he visited you meant that he hadn't decided to cut you out of his life yet.

"Gojo-san is out today, but he'll be back by afternoon," he said, mistranslating your tears as some sort of a want to have your annoying—ex?—boyfriend at your side.

The two of you were still not on talking terms, weren’t you?

You so badly wanted to say thank you to him—and tell him that no, you weren't looking for Satoru—but it came out hoarse and barely above a whisper.

"Huh?" Nanami then realized what you were trying to say, and a faint smile graced his lips. "Just... get well soon, L/N. Have a good rest."

Just before you drifted back to sleep, you could hear him sigh and mutter, "Hello, Gojo-san? L/N has awakened. Just letting you know is all.”

You weren't sure how much time had passed when you woke up the second time, but the curtains were already drawn and only darkness came from the window. Your body felt lighter, but you still felt like a mess and and couldn't help but groan in discomfort.

Satoru was there, he perked up at the noise you made. And you realized that it was the first time in about a week that he faced you after that disasterous almost-breakup.

He walked up to you, his expression was more hopeful than you had ever seen him before, like a kid whose wish had been granted. He slowly shifted to sit beside you.

"Hey, welcome back." His voice was soft. It was a change of pace for him, as you were used to seeing him all loud and silly.

Now your voice no longer sounds like a lead. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" he asked and you took a moment to look at him. He was smiling, but exhaustion reached his bright eyes, dimming them. "You know, with the whole you passing out and almost dying thing?"

His words were almost humorous as he spoke, like he didn't know what else to say except try to lighten the mood, but there was also a strain on his tone, like he was holding back.

"I'm quite fine now, I suppose..." You still felt the lingering pain and dizziness as you slowly sat up. Satoru reached out to steady you—and you realized how his fingers trembled when they made contact with your body—as his brows furrowed with worry when you winced.

"You don't look like it though." His voice dropped and the humor was gone, replaced by this haunted look. You blinked. It was probably the first time you had seem him this ruffled.

He immediately pulled you into a hug, cradling your head to his neck gently, as if to protect and shield you from the world altogether. Exhaling heavily, he leaned on you. "You scared me, you know that?"

You wondered out loud if you really had that hold over him. "Did I?"

"You can't do that to me, you hear?" Satoru stroked your hair, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck. His voice quivered. “Don't ever do that again.”

He pulled you tighter against him, but still careful not to crush you.

You let out a snicker, letting go of everything you felt during this horrible week. "Heh, afraid to lose me, huh?"

"Shut up,” he grumbled. “What were you thinking anyway? How did you calculate that freefalling is better than letting that cursed spirit attack Ichiji?”

"He was defenseless. He could die, you know that."

"And you also can," he quipped, upset, pulling away enough to look you squarely in the eyes, his eyes devoid of any expression, yet filled with a raging wave that you could only interpret as undiluted concern.

The emphasis in his tone made you recoil and feel guilty. If you were in his shoes, you probably would've said the same thing and so you had nothing to say to that.

But the more pressing agenda in the list was the unspoken silent treatment the two of you saw fit to use against each other for the last few days. Satoru was the one who decided to address it first.

"About that night..." he faltered, looking away. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry."

Satoru always had trouble processing emotions. This time too. He must've a hard time dealing with the anxiety caused by the possibility of him losing you for good, no matter how much he tried to be unaware of it.

"..." You wanted to respond, to make him understand your point, but somehow right now you were just too weary. And he sensed your reluctance. So you blurted the first thing that gnawed at your mind.

“You said you could have any other women out there—”

"No, really—" he started to panic, and it was blatantly too, which surprised you. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Us. I don't regret anything. I’m not breaking up with you. Being with you is the happiest I've been ever since Suguru left."

“That's...” you blinked, before letting out a small sigh. “Okay. Fine then. Let's just put it behind us for now.”

“I—” he almost wheezed, his bright blue eyes were overtaken with sheer urgency to explain how wrong everything had been that night. “You must know that I didn’t mean any of it. And that I hate hurting you the way I did. I won’t—”

"Satoru, I understand," you let out another sigh, fidgeting with your fingers. "Sometimes when I’m reminded of Haibara, I also get sad. I don't want to presume but I think I know how you feel. Just next time, maybe," you shifted your gaze on him, seeing how you had his attention fully. Gojo Satoru, the strongest now, was looking at you as if you had his fate in your hands. "Just tell me if you need space and I would have understood."

"Yeah, okay, sure," he responded immediately, relieved, before a lopsided grin appeared on his face, turning him back into your dork slash boyfriend. "So, am I forgiven now?"

"A thank you would be nice."

In the end, he chuckled, seemingly resigned. "You should sleep more."

He positioned himself into bed next to you, and you let him pull you into his chest again. You could feel how his taut back started to relax upon the contact. He pressed his lips on your forehead in a fleeting kiss.

"Promise me you won't pull that stunt again.”

You smirked. "I can't. What if Ichiji—"

"Then just let him die."

You swatted his arm playfully, pressing your head to his chest as he continued to run his fingers on your hair. He cushioned you carefully, and you felt the tension in him slowly melt away with each breath you took. In your mind, you figured he needed this closeness more than you did, if anything, for the sake of his sanity.

“I love you,” he whispered by your ear, kissing it lightly.

“Mmhm.”

As you felt Satoru's calming presence, it helped ease you into slumber. You soon found yourself in a deep sleep, comfortably held in his embrace.

Epilogue

Ichiji gulped as Satoru stared him down, sizing him up as if he was the most despicable creature on this planet.

Okay, he might be. He was a coward, all he could do was trembling in the face of evil. But he had come in peace, even bringing fruits as an offering! He felt bad too that he was the partial cause for you to be this injured.

He was used to Satoru terrorizing him—calling him names, slapping him, and whatnot—and he could take it. Just this time, he really looked like he could murder him on the spot if he wanted to. A small part of Ichiji mourned that you were his girlfriend, because that pretty much sealed his fate that Gojo Satoru could indeed murder him on the spot because he had a valid enough reason to.

"You are—"

"No! I'm sorry, Gojo-san! I'm sorry for my incompetence!"

"Hah?"

If he was mildly irked before, now Satoru was visibly irritated.

"You're not cut out to be a jujutsu sorcerer," he started. "You're useless. You just get in the way most of the time."

Ichiji kept his head down. No, no. He can't cry!

"Get your driving license or I'll slap the shit out of you."

"Oh?" and before he knew it, Satoru had stalked away, leaving him in the dust. How rude! But...

Get a driver license? Quit the jujutsu work?

† please note;　　some of my writing—and therefore this blog itself—is nsfw and certain works may contain sensitive topics and darker themes.

«you are responsible for what you consume on the internet, viewer discretion advised»

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/FEAROFFAILURE

◾title; fear of failure. ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; one shot. ◾word count; 2.7k. ◾tags; #angst #emotional-hurt/comfort #fluff #poor-mental-health

summary: you don’t know why, but noah has been withdrawing into himself again, and you’re worried this steady decline will end in disaster. you resolve to pull him out again, knowing he can’t continue like this much longer.

[READ] | [AO3]

🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/NIGHTMARE

◾title; nightmare. ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; one shot. ◾word count; 3k. ◾tags; #emotional-hurt/comfort #fluff

summary: reader experiences an intense and terrifying nightmare, luckily noah is there to bring her round and make sure she's okay.

[READ] | [AO3]

🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/NEVERJUSTFRIENDS

◾title; never just friends ◾rating; nsfw. ◾type; one shot. ◾word count; 5.6k. ◾tags; #best-friend!noah #smut #fluff #descriptive-smut #multiple-orgasms #aftercare

summary: your best friend had a bad day, you know how to help fix that. but are these hook-ups too much for your heart to bear when you desperately want more?

[READ] | [AO3]

🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/STAYTILMORNING

◾title; stay 'til morning ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; one shot. ◾word count; 3.8k. ◾tags; #best-friend!noah #fluff #emotional-hurt/comfort #idiots-being-stupid

summary: noah never stays until morning, lest the guilt from lying about the depth of his feelings for you destroys him. but the lies both of you tell yourselves are beginning to crumble under the weight of your yearning for more of each other. what will happen when, for the first time, noah stays past the sunrise?

[READ] | [AO3]

🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/HEADCANNON/CUDDLYNOAH

◾title; cuddly noah ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; head-cannon ◾word count; 330. ◾tags; #fluff

summary: cuddly noah that's it ♡

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ASK/NEWNEIGHBOUR

◾title; new neighbour ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; ask from anon - one shot. ◾word count; 3.1K ◾tags; #fluff

summary: noah as your neighbour in an apartment building.

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/HEADCANNON/SIZEDIFFFLUFF

◾title; size diff fluff ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; head-cannon ◾word count; 518. ◾tags; #fluff

summary: size difference head-cannons but it's fluff.

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/IFIMTHERE

◾title; if i'm there ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; one shot. ◾word count; 3.8k. ◾tags; #angst #emotional-hurt/comfort #poor-mental-health #mentions-of-disordered-eating #discussions-of-food #self-destructive-behaviour #fluff

summary:  when things start getting bad, you withdraw. ignoring calls and texts, and descending into bad habits as you self-isolate. but noah knows what you're like and he loves you too much to let you suffer alone.

[READ] | [AO3]

🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/BLURB/WHENIMISSYOU

◾title; when I miss you ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; blurb. ◾word count; 1.4k. ◾tags; #fluff

summary: The things you do when you're missing Noah while he's away.

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/BLURB/ANYTHINGHUMAN

◾title; ANYTHING > HUMAN ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; blurb. ◾word count; 845. ◾tags; #angst

summary: Based on ANYTHING > HUMAN - Bad Omens & ERRA.

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/BLURB/TIRED

◾title; Tired? ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; blurb. ◾word count; 574. ◾tags; #fluff

summary: When you're too tired to do your hair, Noah is more than happy to help.

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/HAPPYBIRTHDAY

◾title; happy birthday ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; one shot. ◾word count; 2.5k. ◾tags; #fluff #fluff #fluff

summary:  Sometimes lying is okay when it's planning a birthday surprise for the birthday-hating man you love.

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🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/ISITTRUE

◾title; is it true? ◾rating; sfw. ◾type; one shot. ◾word count; 3.1k. ◾tags; #fluff #a-smidge-of-angst #slight-miscommunication

summary:  Always stubborn, Noah refuses to take a break when he's sick, but everyone's convinced you can persuade him.

[READ] | [AO3]

A date night at Noah’s place on Friday night was exactly what you needed after the whole week. He didn’t have to persuade you much, because 1) you’re always down to spend time with him and 2) he wanted you to help him with the new Star Wars puzzle he got from his friends.

You knew nothing about the picture laying in front of you, but that made it even more exciting. Every time you managed to find pieces that made a new character Noah made sure to tell you all about them.

The puzzle had 18 000 pieces and you hoped to use it as your excuse to stay for the whole weekend. Not that Noah needed any excuses to let you stay at his place, but you still hoped that you won’t finish it in one go.

Noah’s phone started to ring out of nowhere, his sister’s name popping up on the screen. The sound of his ringtone made you mess up the new part you were putting together which made Noah chuckle before he stood up to accept the call.

“Sorry it’s my sister.” he apologized for interrupting your activity, but you didn’t mind it at all.

You continued placing the puzzle pieces together and occasionally popping a grape in your mouth.

Noah surprised you with a nice dinner that you can comfortably eat while sitting on his living room floor by the coffee table.

He used the separable piece of his couch and put a big plate with food on it. He bought all of your favorite cheeses, some fruit and vegetables with different dips, bread from a family bakery down the street he lived at and also some meat he managed to cook before you arrived.

“Well, of course you can, I just-” you heard Noah talk, wondering what they were talking about and why was he looking at you the way he was. With a worried expression on his face. “I have Rosie over.”

When you heard your name and the mention of you being at his place made you stop playing around with the puzzle and sit up straight, raising your eyebrows at him.

“Okay, see ya.” he finished the phone call and made his way back to you.

“Well? Why do you look like that?” you asked him, not knowing what kind of news he heard on the phone.

“My brother in law was on a work trip and his car broke down and my sister needs to get him.” he started.

“Okay?” you pushed him to continue.

“And she doesn’t want to take Zoe with her this late so she asked me to watch her for the night.” he finished his little speech.

“Oh! Of course.” you said, not exactly knowing what this meant for you. Did he want you to stay or was that a hint for you to leave before they arrive?

You looked around the place, seeing the pile of unsolved puzzles on the coffee table and the still full plate of food and then back at him.

Noah felt just as weird as you, not knowing if you wanted to stay or leave and was afraid that whatever he says will sound stupid.

“I’m gonna get going then.” you said with a polite smile and started to get up from the place you were sitting at on the floor.

Noah let you gather your things before he got the confidence to say “Wait, you don’t have to leave. You can stay here.” you found his eyes that were avoiding your gaze, his cheeks were a bit red. He was scared that him asking you to stay and babysit his niece will throw you off, meeting his family too soon. “If you want, of course.” he quickly added.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” you were nervous.

He’s the younger brother, of course you were scared to meet his sister. And his niece is only 5 and you’re scared of kids that age. They can be mean and you don’t know how to offend yourself against kids.

“Of course, Zoe loves everyone, she’ll think you’re pretty and be happy she can talk to someone who understands clothes and hair stuff better than me. And knowing my sister she’ll probably be in a rush and joke about how she’s the man in their marriage, saving her husband's ass again.” he laughed at the image of the two of them rushing through his door in a few minutes. But he could see your nervous face so he continued. “Or you can stay here and I’ll go pick Zoe downstairs so you don’t have to meet my sister if you don’t feel like that, it’s okay. Or even if you want to leave I’ll understand, it wasn’t planned so it’s absolutely fine if you don’t wanna stay.” he closed the distance between you two and reached out for your hand.

“How much time do I have to prepare myself?” you asked him and tried to smile through the nerves.

Noah’s lips turned into a smile too, he leaned down to kiss your lips before looking at his phone.

“I’d say about 10 minutes?”

“Oh god.” you started panicking. You didn’t even have time to leave, with your luck you’d probably meet them on your way out and sneaking out of the window wasn’t really an option with Noah living on the 6th floor.

“Calm down bug, Zoe will be fine and my sister won’t stay for more than 3 minutes.” he cupped your face in his hands and kissed your forehead. “I told them about you anyway and they said you sound like a nice girl.” he murmured against your skin, blush coming back to his cheeks with the confession he just made.

“You did?” you pulled away enough to see his eyes.

“Yep.”

You opened your mouth to ask him about what he said about you, but at the same time his bell rang.

“Oh god.” you repeated and he just chuckled at your face, he kissed your forehead one more time before he went to unlock the main door for them.

You made your way towards him, trying to hide behind his big shoulders while smothering down your hair to make sure you look presentable.

You heard a short knock way below the level of your ears followed by sweet little “It’s meee.” which made you ease up a bit.

Noah opened the door and you were met with a tall brunette woman and little girl that looked like a mini version of her. Both of them had the same nose and eyes as Noah.

“Hi! I’m Zoe.” the little girl waved at you and before you even took a breath to introduce yourself she started talking again. “Do you wanna play with me and be my friend? We can braid uncle Nowah’s hair together.”

And in that moment you knew you just met your little partner in crime.

“Hi, I’m Noah’s sister. It’s so nice to finally meet the girl that makes my little brother blush every time he talks about her.” the woman in front of you extended her hand towards you and you accepted it.

“Hi, I’m Rosie. Nice to meet you too, Noah talks a lot about you too.”

“I bet it’s not as nice as he talks about you.” she laughed and released your hand.

“Oh me too!” Zoe said and when you looked down at her she was extending her little hand towards you. You crouched down on her level and shook her hand with a chuckle.

“Uncle Noah said you’re pretty and that you drew him a heart. I like drawing hearts too.” she told you excitedly, still not letting go of your hand.

“Okay, can you two stop embarrassing me.” Noah finally spoke up, his face red all over.

“And he also said you got him a guitar!” his sister said excitedly.

“And cookies!” Zoe added.

“Like mother like daughter.” Noah mumbled and took Zoe’s little backpack in his hand. “Don’t you have a husband to save?”

“Right. I wish I could stay and talk to you. We need to grab a coffee sometime.” she said before she picked Zoe up and gave her kiss on the cheek. “I’m gonna get daddy and we’re gonna pick you up tomorrow okay? Be good for uncle Noah and Rosie.”

“Drive safe.” Noah said and made space for Zoe to walk in his apartment.

“He’s right you’re really pre-” Noah closed the door in his sister’s face before she could finish the sentence and you heard “That was rude.” followed by her footsteps.

“That was really rude, I didn’t even say bye to her!” you whined, scared that she’s going to think badly of you now.

You followed Noah back to his living room where you found Zoe closely inspecting the unfinished puzzle.

“Do you wanna join us while we finish it?” you asked her.

“Can we do something else please?” her eyebrows were furrowed when she looked over the size of the puzzle pieces, too much work for a little girl.

“Of course. What would you like to do?” you sat down on the couch and she slowly made her way towards you. She crawled on the couch and sat next to you, her thinking face reminding you too much of Noah’s when he has a problem to solve.

“Do you like mermaids?” she asked out of nowhere and tilted her head so she could look at you.

Her eyes were big and had the little spark only kids have in their eyes. She was inspecting your appearance, thinking that your hair looks beautiful and how you look like a real life princess.

“I love mermaids.” you heard Noah chuckle at the interaction. He was sitting at the other end of the couch, ready to jump in if Zoe would ask something inappropriate or make you uncomfortable.

“Me too.” she nodded her head and her two ponytails moved with it. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Pink. What’s yours?” she held her breath in and did a dramatic face at your answer.

“Mine is also pink!” her excitement was so pure.

“No way!” you supported the momentum with your own reaction.

“Who’s your favorite princess?” she had a lot of questions.

“Hmm, Cinderella I think. Yours?” you completely forgot about Noah, who was watching the two of you with heart eyes.

“Ariel.” that made sense. “I have the fishie!” she said excitedly and then ran for her backpack.

She set it down next to you, opened it and started pulling things out.

A barbie doll. Pink hairbrush. Fake money from a board game. Number of hair ties. Melted candy. Clothes for the next day. And then finally a little yellow fish plushie.

“Here.” she put it on your lap, waiting for your reaction.

“Wow, that’s so cool!”

“I wanted a real one, but mom said no.”

“You can get one when you’re older.” you were already thinking of buying her a little fish for her birthday.

“Are you hungry Zoe?” Noah spoke up, reminding you both of his presence.

“Nope.” she sat back next to you and started swinging her legs.

“But your mom said you didn’t have dinner yet.” Noah said with a parent tone.

“Maybe later.” she just shrugged her shoulders and shifted her gaze back at you.

“Your uncle told me you taught him how to make origami. Is that true?” you let her take your hand in both of her smaller ones and look at your manicure.

“Mhm, we learned that in school. Do you want me to teach you too?”

“I’d love that.”

“Okay.” she jumped off the couch and tugged at your hand, leading you towards the dining table.

“I guess I’ll entertain myself then.” you heard Noah talk to himself.

You let Zoe dig through the drawers of Noah’s desk to get some papers for you both and leaned down to kiss Noah’s cheek.

“How about you go make some dinner for her while we play?”

“Okay.” he caressed your hair and returned the kiss.

When you were in the middle of folding papers, following Zoe’s instructions because she was actually really good at it, Noah put two plates on the table with a quick pasta and sauce he made for dinner.

“Oh, I’m not hungry, we already had dinner.” you said when you saw him push one of the plates towards you.

“That was not real dinner, just a snack.”

“Can I have a snack?” Zoe’s ears caught the word snack and her eyes immediately lightened up.

“After you eat your dinner.” her lips turned into a fake pout, but she opened her mouth when Noah fed her some of the pasta.

“Do you have a favorite snack?” she asked with a full mouth, looking like a chipmunk.

“Ice cream.” you answered without needing a time to think about this question.

“I like chocolate the most.”

“Aren’t you two a family?” you smirked, knowing very well that Noah’s favorite snack is chocolate too.

“Can we have some chocolate?” she made puppy eyes at both of you, hoping that you’ll say yes to everything she asks for. “I won’t tell mom!” she quickly added and made you and Noah laugh.

After finishing your dinner, you cleaned all of the papers and scissors and put all of your origami animals on Noah’s window.

Noah and Zoe were currently in the bathroom and all you could hear was Zoe’s laugh and giggles. Sometimes a splash of water or an excited scream.

You didn’t know Noah was good with kids, but seeing him with Zoe made you love him even more.

That girl adores him so much and she loves having sleepovers at his place.

When you were doing origami she told you her favorite stories about uncle Noah, trying to whisper so he wouldn’t hear it, but her and her little mouth don’t know how to whisper. So soon after she finished a story you heard Noah yell “I can hear you!” which only made her laugh more.

After cleaning the mess, you went to unfold the couch, because Noah’s bed was too small for all three of you and Zoe insisted that she wants to sleep with both of you.

You made it comfy by bringing pillows and blankets from the bedroom, then you went to turn the lights down a bit and made your way to the bathroom.

“What happened here?” you stopped between the doors and saw the disaster.

Noah was sitting next to the bath in a puddle of water, his clothes soaked in random places while Zoe was looking pretty happy with the result of her hands splashing the water.

“I’m a mermaid!” she yelled before she started splashing the water again.

Noah took her out of the bath without a problem and wrapped her in a small pink towel. They had a routine and you loved watching them.

She pulled out a little stool from under the sink and stood on it so she could brush her teeth with the pink toothbrush that was next to Noah’s blue one.

“Where’s your toothbrush Rosie?” she mumbled with the pink plastic in her mouth and you thought of your toothbrush in your bag that you packed for the night.

You didn’t know what to say and Noah didn't either, feeling exposed by his niece that he hasn’t asked you to leave your stuff at his place yet.

Before you could answer she continued talking. “I think you should have one here too so we can do this sleepover again.”

You met Noah’s eyes through the mirror when he said “Yeah, I agree. You should have your toothbrush here too.”

It’s just a toothbrush, but you saw in Noah’s eyes that it meant more than that.

“Can we braid your hair uncle Noah? I’ll do the right side and Rosie will do the left so it’s like a competition.” Zoe crawled on the couch in her pink pyjama, making herself comfy under the big blanket.

“Let’s do that tomorrow, it’s late.” Noah tucked her legs with the blanket and threw the yellow fish at her.

“Uncle Nowaaah.” she tried to protest but her own body betrayed her with a yawn.

Noah only raised his eyebrows at her and she giggled.

“And they lived happily ever after.” you finished your bedtime story.

“That was a weird story, but I liked it.” Zoe said and you heard Noah laugh at that, which earned him a gentle kick to his legs.

Zoe wanted a story from you and Noah was zero help. You made up the weirdest story ever and you were sure he’s going to hold it against you later.

Zoe was laying in the middle with you and Noah by her sides. She was curled up to your side, which warmed your heart.

She knew you only for a few hours, but already felt comfortable enough to let you hold her while she fell asleep.

Noah’s heart was close to bursting with love at the sight.

He knew Zoe’s going to love you, she’s a little extrovert, but he was scared of what your reaction was going to be. You never mentioned anything about kids, so he was afraid you’re going to be bored or annoyed.

“Who will fall asleep first is the winner.” Noah said when he didn’t know how else to stop Zoe’s questions, because she was full of them.

She nuzzled her face into your neck and you felt like that’s where you’re supposed to be. Noah was laying on his side facing you, his legs lazily thrown over your legs and his hand was holding yours in a way that was comfortable for both of you.

After a few minutes you felt Zoe’s tiny body shuffling around before she (tried to) whisper a question for you.

“Do you really like my uncle Noah?”

You smiled at her curiosity.

“Can I tell you a secret? Only uncle Noah knows it.”

“Yeah.” you felt her head nod excitedly against you.

“I love your uncle Noah.” you whispered into the dark and felt Noah’s hand squeeze yours, telling you he loves you too.

“I think he loves you too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, my mom said that when uncle Noah talked about you.” you smiled at her honesty.

“Zoe, you should be sleeping already.” Noah mumbled into his pillow, avoiding any more of her exposing him.

“I love you uncle Nowah, I love you Rosie.” Zoe whispered sleepily against your chest before she fell asleep.

“I love you both too.” Noah said and carefully leaned down to kiss Zoe’s forehead and then yours, throwing one more “I love you.” into the dark.

dividers by silen-stories

This story is a work of fiction, with the plot and characters entirely made up. The appearance and name of the main male character are inspired by Noah Sebastian Davis, but the storyline bears no connection to the real person. Please do not steal or repost this work on other platforms without permission.

Noah stood in front of her, his hands behind his back as he looked down to her nervous brown eyes.

'You're in control,' he told her softly. 'Anything you want, it's yours, all you have to do is say it.'

Y/N eyed him warily. 'So if I tell you not to move-?'

'Then I won't move.'

'Okay...' she nodded slowly, 'so don't move, within reason.'

Noah nodded once before freezing in place. Y/N took a tentative step towards him, gingerly placing her hand on his chest.

Beneath his shirt she could feel his heart hammering behind his ribs. She let her hand run across the black fabric, trailing down to the hem. Timidly, she began to lift his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. Noah only moved to help her take it off, immediately returning to his position once he was free of the shirt.

'Close your eyes' she said softly.

Her fingers lightly traced his tattoos, her skin cool against his. Noah closed his eyes, hanging his head and chewing his lip. He desperately wanted to kiss her, but she was in control. She needed to be in control.

Slowly her fingers traced lower. Her shaking fingers curled into his waistband, tugging his sweatpants down. His underwear dropped with them, landing on the carpet quietly. He stepped free of the pile of fabric, kicking it away and returning to his pose.

Noah could hear her stuttered breaths as she looked at him.

'It's okay,' he said gently, 'you have all the power here.'

'I know,' she whispered. She took a deep breath, stepping closer and reaching for his face, her soft hands on his cheeks.

She lifted his head just enough to press her lips to his. Noah could taste the salt on her lips, her tears dribbling down her face.

'We can stop,' he told her, 'you don't need to push yourself.'

'No,' she told him, her body brushing against his. Her skin against his torso caught him off guard. 'I want to keep going. I'm just scared.'

'Okay,' he breathed, letting her pull him into another kiss. Her lips were feather-light against his, his stomach flipping with each taste.

'I want you to undress me...'

With a nod, he slowly shifted in place. His arms moved from behind his back, cautiously resting on her back as she let her lips come back to his. His fingers found the clasp of her bra, unhooking it with ease and guiding it off of her.

Her bare chest pressed against his, her heart pounding heavily in her chest.

'Are you okay?' He asked, his voice low as his hands sank to her pants.

'Mhmm,' she hummed, letting him slip her pants and underwear down. She copied him, stepping out of the fabric and kicking it away. She stepped back from him, taking his hands in hers and breathing deeply. 'Open your eyes,' she told him.

Noah abided, opening his eyes and taking in the sight of her. Her body was marred with eight deep pink scars, mostly concentrated around her legs and belly. One traced around the right side of her ribs, almost tracing one of the bones. Another broke his heart, seeing the old stab wound that marred her chest. The blade must have missed anything major by only millimetres.

A dark gash ran across her lower belly, a sign of the surgery she had needed to remove her ovary.  Seeing the damage for the first time, his heart twisted. How did she survive?

'It's a lot to see,' Y/N said, her eyes low with shame. 'I still can't look at it-'

'Y/N,' Noah cut her off, 'don't. You are still as beautiful as the day I met you. All this is, is proof of how unbelievable you are. I'm not afraid of this, and I still love you, okay?'

She nodded, chewing her lip. 'Okay.' She stepped closer to him, taking his hands and guiding them to her waist. 'I'm still nervous...'

'It's okay,' he assured her, 'take your time.'

'I don't really know what to do from here,' she admitted sheepishly.

Noah smiled, chuckling softly. 'Do you want some help?'

'Please? Just, go slow, no surprises?'

'Of course.'

With a smile, Noah guided her to the bed, sitting her down on the edge and kneeling down in front of her.

'Lean back a little and put your legs on my shoulders,' he instructed. Y/N carefully followed his instructions, her legs hanging over him and his face hovering just in front of her.

'Noah...' she breathed, 'what if I can't do this?'

'All you have to do is tell me to stop, and I'll stop. No questions asked.'

Y/N chewed her lip for a moment before she nodded. 'Okay.'

Gently, Noah dipped down; his tongue slipped through her folds with ease, brushing her clitoris and sending a wave of tingles through her lower body.

She gasped softly, feeling him establish a rhythm with his tongue. Bit by bit, she leaned herself back to rest on her elbows and opened her legs for easier access.

Noah hummed between her thighs, revelling in the sound of her sighs. He held a hand up, raising only his middle and fourth fingers.

'Yeah,' she said, understanding what he was saying.

His tongue paused its languid strokes as those two fingers found her entrance, dipping slowly into her. Her back arched as his fingers slid deep, her pussy enveloping him knuckle by knuckle.

'You're doing so good, baby,' Noah told her, resting his other hand on her thigh. 'Just listen to your body, okay? Stay out of your head. How does it feel?'

'It feels so good,' she sighed, waiting for him to move. Gingerly, Noah began to curl his fingers, his fingertips stroking her plush walls. Her head tipped back, a quiet moan leaving her throat as he touched her, searching for the perfect spot.

'God, you look gorgeous,' he breathed against her, wishing he could sink his teeth into her thighs. Instead, he sank back into her, his tongue resuming its lush patterns.

Y/N shuddered under his touches. Her skin felt electric, and each touch sent shockwaves across her body. Letting her eyes close, she let herself be overcome with the sensations. Each stroke, each circle, each tremble and flex.

Her wetness mixed with Noah's saliva, dribbling down onto the bed. His other hand kept a strong grip on her leg, cautiously stroking her skin.

A tingle began to build in her core, a spark of need. Each time Noah flicked his tongue, the spark grew, stealing her breath away.

'Oh fuck,' she whispered, 'Noah...'

Noah's cock twitched at her voice, jealous of his fingers. But he had her, he wasn't going to stop until she asked. Pushing his fingers deeper, his fingertips grazed across a fleshy spot on her upper wall, and her body trembled at the touch.

The spark ignited, coursing through her veins and lighting her on fire. The edge of an orgasm smouldered in her cunt, her muscles contracting around his fingers and begging for more.

'Noah, I think I'm gonna come...' she moaned.

Noah's tongue left her clit, his thumb taking its place. 'Do you want to come now, or do you want to try and go further?'

She gasped, her walls closing around his fingers as he stroked the bump again. Sweat began to bead on her flushed skin and she chewed her lip as a whine left her throat.

'Oh, shit, both,' she whimpered.

'Greedy,' Noah chuckled, kissing her thigh, 'but I'll allow it.'

He plunged his tongue back into her clit, smirking at the sounds of her pleasure. Her orgasm was building, and he knew what she needed.

The smouldering became a blaze, the warm feeling filling her body as her lower belly grew tight. Her mouth hung open, undignified moans and whines mingling with heaving breaths as Noah found the perfect spot.

'Don't stop,' she begged, 'it's right there, please don't stop.'

Noah wished his mouth was free to say all the things he wanted to say, but he wasn't about to disobey an order. Holding steady, he listened, his cock throbbing in envy as she crested her high.

Her voice tightened, her breaths staggered, and her pussy squeezed his fingers tightly, begging him not to stop.

'Oh shit, Noah, fuck,' she squealed as her climax short circuited her brain. Her fingers tangled into his hair as she searched for anything to hold on to.

Slowly, he withdrew his fingers, kissing her skin before looking her over. She laid panting, her chest heaving as he lowered her legs.

'Are you sure you have another one in you?' He asked with a smile.

'I don't care if I do or don't, please, try,' she said with a breathy laugh.

Noah chuckled, standing up. 'You'll need to move further onto the bed.'

Eager, Y/N shifted, shimmying her way to the middle of the mattress. Noah followed her closely, hovering over her.

'I love you,' he whispered, kissing her sweetly.

'I love you more.'

His wet tip grazed her skin in search of her entrance, teasing her as he positioned himself.

'Ready?' He asked softly. Y/N nodded, kissing him again and breathing sharply as his tip brushed her swollen clit.

Noah reached down, aligning himself, and slowly began to sink into her. Her pussy was swollen and tight, her warmth enveloped him as he inched his way in. Their sighs mingled in the space between them, their eyes closing and revelling in the feeling.

'How do you feel?' He asked softly.

'Good,' she assured him, 'so, so good.'

'Good,' he said with a laugh, 'that's my girl.'

Y/N's muscles clamped on his cock at the phrase, earning a smirk from Noah. 'You like that? When I praise you?'

'Yes,' she nodded.

'My beautiful girl, do you like how it feels when I fill you? Is it better than my fingers?' Noah purred, rolling his hips against her and feeling his length drag across her favourite spot.

'Mhmm,' she moaned, biting down on her lip.

'Oh, baby girl,' he tutted, drawing out of her and easing back in at an agonisingly slow pace. 'Don't try and hide your sounds from me now, I like it when I hear you. I wanna hear how good I make you feel.'

'Noah... oh god,' Y/N whimpered, her eyes rolling back as his hand ran through her hair.

'You're my beautiful girl, aren't you? You look so good when you come... can you show me again?'

Y/N's muscles flexed again, and Noah began to speed up his thrusts, shortening them so the ridge of his tip tormented her g spot. Her mouth fell open as she gasped, her nails sinking into his back.

'Holy fuck, Noah.'

'Are you gonna come for me? Show me how perfect you are, come for me, princess.'

'Noah, please.' Y/N felt the smouldering in her body become a blaze yet again, this time hotter than the last. Her whole body shook with tension, sweat dripping from her brow as Noah's thrusts deepened.

'It's just you and me, baby. Scream for me,' Noah coaxed. 'Scream, I want to feel you fall apart.'

Grabbing at his back, Y/N bit into Noah's shoulder, the blaze turning to fireworks.

'Oh fuck, oh fuck...' she whimpered against him, 'I'm so close, please.'

'Do you want me to come inside you, princess?' Noah purred, nipping at her neck. 'You want my cum dripping from your pretty pussy?'

'Oh god, yes.'

'My beautiful girl, wring it out of me. Come hard for me and squeeze my cock dry, earn it baby girl.'

Diving down to her neck, Noah kissed her flushed skin, forcing her head up so he could suck on her pulse point. Licking her skin, nipping at her, rolling her nipple in his fingers, her pussy flexed and spasmed at the feelings.

Her mouth hung open, her cunt squeezed Noah's length hard as she raced towards another high. Noah's own orgasm chased hers like a fox after a rabbit.

'Good girl, come for me princess,' he groaned, deepening his stroke. 'God, I'm so fucking close. I'm gonna come, baby.'

'Noah, don't stop, I'm coming,' Y/N cried, her arms wrapping around his neck and holding tight as an earth shattering scream of ecstasy left her throat.

'Oh fuck, baby I'm coming, Jesus fuck I'm gonna come.'

Suddenly freezing, Y/N squealed as Noah plunged his cock deep into her throbbing pussy. His cum shot out in thick ropes, filling her with warmth.

'Holy shit,' he panted, collapsing on top of her, 'I love you.'

'I love you, so much.'

'And you're okay? Did it do anything?'

'I'm okay,' she confirmed, nodding weakly. 'No flashbacks, no panic attacks. I'm a little shaky, but I think that's normal,' she said with a flushed smile.

'Definitely normal,' he grinned, kissing her.

Chuckling, she raised a shaky hand and brushed a strand of hair from Noah's eyes. 'I think I like rehab.'

You heard the door slam shut grabbing your attention from the tv you were watching. Noah your best friend was finally home from touring.

“Noah…” you call out, hoping it was him, you were excited to see him and hangout with him every night again. You missed how you would play Mario kart together on your tv and beat him every time. When you looked for his eyes you found a little bit more than him.

Bloodshot, exhausted, red eyed Noah.

“Are you okay?” You got off the couch walking towards him as you embrace him carefully with your arms. He drops his bag hugging you tightly to him.

“Y-yea…” his voice cracked slightly. “Just tired, and mentally and physically exhausted.” Noah took a deep breath trying to calm himself and his continuing thoughts that kept eating his mind alive.

“Why don’t you go take a shower. Take a hot one and sit under there for a little bit, I’ll bring you a towel and clothes.” You commented taking his bags and luggage from him so you could start whatever laundry he needed done.

His soft hand touched your shoulder getting your attention turning you around to him. The look on his face made you stomach churn a little, feeling concerned for him.

“Can you shower with me? I don’t want to be alone..” Noah pulled you into his chest for a hug embracing you and your warmth, you were his home.

“Is that what you want?” Your face against his chest, wanting to be as close to you as he could.

“Please.. i don’t care about the laundry or anything. I just want to be with you.” He muttered softly.

Noah has been needy before it’s nothing new for the both of you. You were just wanting to comfort him. But in the shower? You never even been naked around each other before maybe changed in front of each other but you always turned away from eachother for privacy. This is something new.

“Okay.. should I grab a swim-“ Noah cut you off.

“Please just be bare with me this one time. I don’t want to do anything to you, I just want to hold you in my arms be as close as I can to you. You don’t understand how much I missed you. I thought about you for days on end and couldn’t sleep without looking at your face…” he whispered into your head that his arms were cradling as if you were his porcelain doll.

“Okay… let’s go, I’ll turned the water on.” You and Noah headed to your bathroom you both designed. It was dark and nice and had some leds lights you guys even put in there so it could be a vibe while you “take a shit”, according to his words. (I laughed too hard at this.)

You turned it on to a more relaxing color like red so it was dim but not too dark, you turned the water on as Noah undressed behind you, you keep your back towards him wanting to give him privacy, to wish he didn’t care for.

You were ready to get undressed yourself as Noah turned around, you decided to break this cycle of feeling the need to cover up around eachother.

“Noah…” your voice barely above a whisper. He turned his head towards you his eyes meeting yours.

“Can you undress me..” maybe you felt like it would be more intimate to do it this way. You both knew you wanted to be more than friends anyway. Why not let him?

“Are you sure?” He answered with a question, making sure you were comfortable with that idea. He knew sometimes you say things and then change your mind, he wanted to make sure if he undressed you, you wouldn’t feel awkward about it.

“Yea I’m sure. Go for it.” Your hair was tied up in a bun to which he first undid. You tried your hardest to keep your eyes on his chest and not look down, knowing he was bare below the waist, you were always curious though.

He noticed your eyes staying trained to one place to which he smirked slightly as you were taking not to look too much at him in fear he’d fight it awkward as well.

“You can look at me you know, you’re not in trouble if you look anywhere else but my chest. I was told I have a nice ass anyway.” He joked, making you smiled at his joke, but it really wasn’t.

Noah took your sweater off, before taking your sweats off leaving you in his own t shirt and your underwear.

“Did you take my shirt while I was gone?” He questioned, fingers playing with the end of it.

“Yea I missed you..” you replied, looking back up at him with a pout.

“It looks better on you anyway.” He lifts it up and over your head, his eyes widen slightly. You were stunning to him in the moment. It wasn’t suppose to be intimate although it probably is anyway with the way it’s going.

Your body and face were gorgeous to him. He could feel cock stiffen slightly trying to ignore the fact that he was probably growing right in front of you.

“You’re beautiful.” Noah got down on his knees kissing your naval before taking your own underwear off. Now bare both of you in front of eachother for the first time.

You don’t waste any time jumping in the water, you knew he complimented you, he always said you have a nice body not in a weird way of course and you didn’t take it as that but you definitely had the prettiest tits and ass to go with your body shape and Noah loved it.

He wrapped his arms around you under the water with you pressed right behind your back he was hard and heavy. You ignored it though, not wanting to make him feel weird about it.

This was about him anyway. You wanted him to be comfortable and happy. You knew his cock was huge by the way it felt and by how much was pressed onto you. You legs clenched slightly at the thought of it.

You picked up some shampoo putting some in your hands before reaching for his oblivious tall figure to put some in his hair. He bent down so you can reach him snicking as you still had to reach on the top of your toes for him.

You put the shampoo in his hair rubbing it in and using your nails to make it more relaxing for him. He groaned at the feeling, as he grabbed some putting it in your hair too. Wanting to wash you as you were washing him.

You kept your eyes above his waist, still not wanting to just looking down out of curiosity, it definitely would kill you. (Curiosity killed the cat..)

You took the conditioner putting it into his hair and yours, before rinsing it out. Noah grabbed his own body wash putting some on your own loofah, washing you with it. He wanted you to smell like him, so no one would want you, he could claim you with his smell. You were his best friend. Only his. But best friends don’t shower with each other…

He washed your arms, lighting going over your boobs seeing your nipples hardern, over you abdomen, and down your legs. Your breath quickened as he washed you, not exactly in an intimate way but it sure fault like it.

You stole the loofah from him running it over his chest, Noah closed his eyes as you washed him. You squeeze some soap from the loofah into your hands, touching his skin running it down his chest and abs, spreading it out on him. Noah could feel your hands on him feeling hotter than normal, with all his blood rushing south.

Your hands on his abs had his head tipping back. His hands pulled you by your waist into him, now feeling him up and close bare against you. His lips were just inches apart from yours staring at you as if to ask for your permission to kiss you.

You leaned in more towards him as he met you halfway meeting your lips. The water over the both of you made it 10x hotter than it already was. Noah took it upon himself to lift you up pushing you against the way pulling away from your lips.

“Y/n, I want you. Do you want this?” Noah asked, no thought behind his eyes only thinking of you and all the things he would do to you if you said yes.

“I want you Noah, please..” you begged feeling his hard cock in your inner thigh brushing against you, leaking and pulsing just for you.

“Please what…” Noah wanted to hear you say it. He needed to hear you say you wanted him, you need him to fuck you.

“Please… fuck me.” You pleaded, feeling him grind himself over you slightly breathing heavier when his dick touched your clit teasing you.

“I got you Angel.” Noah kissed your forehead, lining himself up with you before pushing into you slowly. You felt every inch and every stretch of him in your body, it was intoxicating almost.

Having not seeing his dick, but the way it was splitting you apart you knew he was huge. It filled you in ways you didn’t think were possible. You’ve only been with one person anyway so Noah was the second person to ever even be inside you.

Noah bottomed out in you holding himself there while holding you against the wall. You loved how slow and gentle he was with you but you couldn’t lie, the thought of him drilling into you no mercy was on your mind. Especially under the shower head, wet and hot just with him. Made you clench involuntarily around him catching his attention as he can see your mind wandering himself.

“Noah… let go.” You can tell her was holding back wanting to pound his frustrations and stress away, he gave you another look with his eyes unsure if he should or not scared to hurt you.

“I promise, you won’t hurt me. Take your frustrations out on me, I got you I’m right here.” You squeezed his shoulders, while your arms rubbed at his biceps trying to get him out of his head.

“Tell me if it’s too much..” Noah placed a kiss onto your lips, followed by under your ear.

Noah lifts you off the wall still with his hands around your waist also supporting your bottom. “Don’t let go of my neck.” Noah muttered, as you felt him lift you off of him only to pound into you.

You felt all of him there one second and then left empty the next. Noah watched your face to make sure you were okay and after a few times and a nod from your head he started thrusting into you hard.

He moved both of you under the shower head making the whole thing 10x hotter while the water running down both of you as well as his pelvis meeting yours every few seconds. He filled you up to the max no room for anything else stretching you out every thrust it was intoxicating.

A loud moan left your mouth that you were trying to hold in. Noah’s thrust were starting to get harder at the sound of skin on skin. The rawness of his moans, and soft whimpers were an indication of him letting his frustrations and stress out for you. As he breathed all of you in with him burying himself deep in you. You filling you up with himself every thrust was for you.

He missed the way you would crawl into bed with him at night, after watching a scary movie. He missed how you’d always check in on him while he’s in the studio and listen to his ideas and creations, he loved how you calmed his mind and helped him through whatever was bothering him, he loved you more than a friend.

“Fuck… Noah I’m close.” Your wet bodies were closer than ever with eachother it was just want he wanted from you, he needed all of you to make him feel himself again.

“Cum for me y/n, all for me, I got you.” Noah held you closer to him slowly his pace down by slowly filling you up making you fell every bit of him moving in and out of you. Every inch of him you felt molding your body to him it was the best feeling.

You felt your legs twitch slightly and he felt it too feeling your body burst around him. The strongest orgasm you’ve had in years. Tears were flowing out of your eyes as he fucked you slowly through it making sure you were with him watching your reaction and your eyes for any signs of distress or pain.

Few moments later he pulled out, shooting his load on your stomach as an art piece that he designed himself. He smirked at it before you washed it off.

He loved you with every ounce in him and you were his home. He held you close to him under the water. Then his brain started again.

“You just fucked your best friend.”

“You just fucked your best friend and she let you.”

“Fuck.”

“You’re mine now. I can’t let anyone else have you.” Noah exclaimed, as he kissed your lips pulling away from you.

“I’ve always been yours Noah.”

A/N: hey.. I’ve been struggling to write lately so I tried my best to put something out. It’s not that I don’t have ideas the motivation isn’t there. I’ll get sparks of inspiration but no motivation. I hope this was to your liking anonymous 🫶🏻I tried my best as always. It kinda just went blue towards the end so probably not my best piece but I hope you enjoyed regardless. Idk when the next will be out I’m starting back at my old job (not the hospital), so I’m hoping things will be better again here soon. Love y’all 🫶🏻🩶 like and reblog 🫶🏻

"I can't remember," you flip it around and see the label had instructions? You read them out loud "Split the chocolate in half with you partner, and allow up to 20 minutes to take effect-OH OKAY! I know what this is," you could FEEL the blush creeping already remembering what this was

"Hey wait what do you mean you know? What is it?" Noah said as he tried getting the candy back from you

"It's nothing!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa wait minute," he stops recalling what the label said "is it...sex chocolate? The one that gets you horny and shit?"

"NO!"

"so.....yes?" he smirks at you finally swiping the chocolate from your hands and unwrapping it

"Noooaaahhhh" you whine

"Come on babe, you act like we haven't done worst shit than this," he pulls out the 3 sets of split chocolate "remember why I got a video camera?" he wiggled his eyebrows at you

"That's different...." you pout

"sure it is babe. Here," he opens a set and breaks off his half and popped it in his mouth passing you yours, "say ah princess,"

You sigh while he holds the chocolate aphrodisiac, you slowly open your mouth and he gently slips the piece on to your tongue as he drags your lips down a bit

"Such a good girl" he teased with the signature grin of his.

"shut up," you giggle shaking your head "now come on we still have one more cupboard to go through"

about 30 minutes later you in fact did not move to the next cupboard. It started with Noah taking his shirt off because he was feeling hot, which only made you stare at his back more. Those tattoos....and wide shoulders...and those arms.....

When he had caught you he stepped closer to you. He was practically looming over you with a deep and hungry stare. One that burned into your soul. His hand ghosts over your stomach and up between your breasts and to your neck. Sending a deep shiver down you spine that ended as a dull ache in your very core. He hoists you on to the counter and slots himself between your legs. His lips were fierce and hungry against yours as his hands claw at your to bring you impossibly closer.

It felt like you were hot and cold at the same time, you were anxious and impatient and you just NEEDED him. Luckily for Noah you were wearing an old tank top...old and flimsy enough for him to see your nipples peak when it got cold, and old enough for him to... *riiiiipp*

You breasts feel free from the cloth as it falls on to the counter

"No bra? Were you planning to get fucked princess?" His large hand cupped one of your breasts and took your nipple into his mouth.

"Mmm Noah," you shudder as he lets go with a pop

"tell me what you want...what you need pretty girl," he voice was low and deep. His pupils were blown and deep and with pure lust. Like a predator that had finally cornered it's pray. Noah lift you from the counter and carries you over to the sofa. His lips crashing down on yours with me and fever. First, he was doubting that that chocolate had even worked, but now he felt like he was ready to take you over and over again in every part of the house.

His tongue swipes across your bottom lip as it slips inside your mouth. Your tongues dance around in an erotic kiss. While his hands were busy, stripping you of your bottoms. He can feel his cock straining against his pants. The more he tasted you the more he wanted to taste and feel. And then need to fuck you senseless only piled on itself.

"need you Noah...so fucking bad...please," which each gap between your mouths you get out exactly what you wanted from him

"need little slut...need me deep in that pussy huh?" he teased, his lips moving to your ear to nibble it just a bit making a shaky breath escape from your lips. One of his favorite things to hear

"p-please..." oh and the begging how he loved it. Thank god he was only wearing his shorts, pushing them down and positioning himself between your legs. His fingers coming down to feel the wetness of your core. You were more slick than usual

"fuck you're so wet," he growls lowly, his middle and ring finger coated in your juices as he brings it back up to his mouth and licked it off his fingers. You couldn't help the deep blush that floods your cheeks as you watch him.

"alright pretty girl, keep those eyes on me...." he hoists your legs on to his shoulders, his lips kiss your left calf. A playful yet sly grin decorated his face as he rubs the tip of his cock up and down your slit, and god you needed him so badly. His eyes bore into yours as he finally positions himself and slowly pushes himself in , inch by inch. You feel that wonderful stretch and full feeling and you were already seeing stars. He pushes all the way in until the hilt with a deep groan as he watches your mouth fall open in pleasure.

"Fuck! So fucking..." he pulls out just a bit and thrusts back in "tight! Damn princess" he picks up a steady rhythm as he starts to steadily fuck you. You usually lasted so much longer but you already felt like you were going to cum, you eyes were dazed and unfocused, completely engulfed in the sensation of pleasure.

"F-fuck Noah...right there," you pant as he leans his weight down on your legs slightly to get in deeper

"here princess? Like it nice and deep huh?" he smirks as he starts to move his hips harder, faster and deeper

"Oh fuck! Y-yes!" you nails start to claw at his arms feeling that knot starting form in the pit of your stomach

"pussy so tight...and wet just for me..." he pants "Good fucking girl....taking my dick so good..." you could feel his cock starting to pound you to the verge of your orgasm

"N-noah...Noah! Oh god~"

"Gonna cum already? Gonna cum on this dick baby?"

"Y-Yea--oh fuck!"

"Cum....cum for me princess," his next 3 thrusts were enough to push you off the edge and finally cum around his cock. The chocolate completely enhancing your orgasm, as you tighten around his cock, your juices coating him. He keeps moving in and out at a slower pace. The sound of your cum as he thrusts into you filling in the silence of the home

"holy shit babe..... came so much just for me, like a good little slut....my good little slut," he sits back on his heels as he spreads your legs and watches as you drip down on to the couch, coating the entire length of his cock. He watches as his cock pumps in and out of your pussy. "look at that...taking it so fucking good...how about another baby? Gonna fill this pussy up so good,"

His grunts and groans only become deeper as he picks up his pace again. Your walls clenching around him, still sensitive from the last orgasm. Your continuous whines were filled with pleasure and ecstasy as your eyes roll back and your head falls limp. Completely lost in the pleasure, feeling every aching inch that he pumped into you.

"Fuck look at that....so fucking-ugh...."he huffs as he watches intently feeling himself edging closer and closer "Tell me where baby...where do you want it?"

"I-inside please...please Noah fuck!"

"Cum for me again baby.....gonna fill up this pussy....just cum for me again..."

You could feel him twitch inside, as he the sound of his skin slapping against yours filled the room. He starts to moan as he comes closer and closer.

"Com-coming! FUCK!," he hips give sloppy but strong pumps as he empties himself inside of you, he cock still pumping in and out, fucking his cum deeper into you. You cum again around his cock, your essence mixing with his, flooding on to you and him and the couch below

"Fuck! take it!...t-take it!" he growls as his thrusts slow down as he rides out both of your highs. His hips come to a halt, his body coming down to collapse on top of yours. The room was filled with your pants as you tried to catch your breath be very intense sex that just occurred. One thing was for sure you need to wash the couch before you have anyone come over, or before you even sit on it again as Noah’s head rests on your collarbone, he says between breaths.

“We…need….to buy…..more those….”

“More?” You ask in a half chuckle now believing what you had just heard. You still had another two sets that you could use and he was already thinking about buying more. “You.,.are something else” 

“You’re the one who bought them,” he answers with a chuckle as he kisses the skin of your shoulder. Making a mental note to find any local stores with the same or similar chocolate.

You’re pretty sure he hates you.

Your new roommate, that is. 

“Fushiguro, right?” You led with friendliness, hoping to win him over with your charming personality and half the share of the rent. But he was beyond intimidating, standing at the front door, eyes slanted and harsh with boredom. His hair was messy but it almost seemed intentional with how much it complimented and framed his angular face.

He was gorgeous.

Yuko had neglected to tell you just how attractive your new roommate would be when she sent you the address the day before. Though, it made sense that she wouldn’t notice since she’s dating Itadori, not his old roommate.

He looked you up and down as you stood at his front door, a nervous smile twinging at your lips as an awkward tension consumed you. Though he didn’t seem overly bothered by the awkwardness, simply humming in acknowledgement of his name before standing aside to let you into his apartment.

It was nice; very organised for a guy, you thought. He wordlessly led you to your new room, which was Yuji’s old room, and gave you the rundown of the rent and utilities while you tried to not melt at the deep smoothness of his voice.

What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

“You didn’t tell me he was hot, Ozawa,” you grumble as you tighten the group head into the coffee machine. It’s quiet in the cafe that day, just you and Yuko behind the counter trying to shake off your lack of sleep with iced coffees and fries from the stainless steel bowl sitting at the kitchen window. The line chef doesn’t care that you’re stealing the fries, too busy scrolling on his phone and attempting to blink away his hangover.

Yuko takes a sip of her coffee, her brows knit in confusion, “who?”

“Fushiguro,” you clarify, pressing buttons on the coffee machine.

Yuko was your friend from high school and she was the one that hooked you up with the apartment. All she told you was that he was Yuji’s best friend and old roommate before she and Yuji moved in together. She told you he was in his second year of college, he needed help with the rent and that he was a nice guy.

“You told me he was nice, too.”

“Fushiguro is nice,” Yuko retorts, restocking the paper cups next to the coffee machine.

You give her a look, “nice my ass.”

“You just said he was hot!” she laughs at that, nudging your shoulder playfully.

“You can be hot and mean at the same time, they’re not mutually exclusive.”

“Mm,” she hums, “sounds like your type.”

“Rude,” you mutter.

The bell above the door dings, your eyes peeking over the coffee machine to spot Yuji walking in with a wide smile, “hi baby!”

Yuko grins, “Hey, Yuji.” She leans over the counter, allowing Yuji to press a kiss against her cheek with a loud muah!

“What’s up?” Yuji asks curiously, letting his chin rest in his own palm.

“Y/N was just telling me about her first night in her new place,” Yuko replies.

“Ooh!” Yuji sings.

“She said he’s hot,” Yuko giggles.

A big smile spills across Yuji’s face and he teasingly wiggles his brows, “you got a crush?”

“No,” you say defensively. “I don’t even know him.”

“You can crush on someone and not know them,” Yuji shrugs.

“I don’t think you can.”

Yuji tuts, “ah-ah! Jennifer Lawrence, I don’t know her, but I have a crush on her.”

You look to Yuko, “you gonna let him say that?”

Yuko shrugs sheepishly, “I have a crush on her too so I think it’s okay.”

Yuji points at her, “see?”

You just playfully roll your eyes, “but seriously… What's the secret? Cus I think he already wants me to move out.”

“Fushiguro just takes time to warm up to people,” Yuji explains. “Just give it time.”

You wonder how long it’ll take for him to warm up to you. You’re a friendly person and you’re pretty bubbly but he just intimidates the hell out of you. But his apartment was way nicer than any of the other apartments near campus. And bonus points because the rent was rather cheap compared to other places you’d seen. So you can’t screw this up.

But again, you’re pretty sure he hated you.

He was always grumbling around and seemed to get annoyed when you would put the dishes away in the wrong spots (though he never outright told you this). And he seemed to get annoyed when you were in a shared space, either sitting down on the floor in front of the TV to study or at the kitchen counter with your textbooks strewn about. 

But no way in hell were you going to poke the bear and ask him if he hated you.

Because Megumi Fushiguro was a scary guy.

You think you’ve screwed yourself when Megumi makes a bee-line for you a few weeks later.

You’re sitting at your desk in your room with the door slightly open. You’re focused on the essay you’re trying to edit but it’s hard to ignore the dark and brooding cloud that is Megumi Fushiguro.

“You touch my shit?” He asks. It doesn’t sound mean or accusing but just the depth of his voice alone makes you nervous.

“Huh?” You squeak out, eyes shifting nervously.

“My clothes,” he holds out a folded shirt for emphasis, his other hand holding your door frame (and jesus christ his muscles look so good).

Fuck.

You gulp, “u-uh, yeah, I did. I needed more darks so I just… used some of yours…”

Megumi just stares at you, steely eyes narrow and harsh.

You smile sheepishly, though it’s not really a smile, more of a nervous twitch in your lips, “I’m sorry–”

“Just,” Megumi starts before he sighs, “don’t touch my shit.”

You nod quickly, “right. I’m sorry.”

It’s funny. 

You’ve only been here for a few weeks and Megumi is growing more and more frustrated by you. 

How you always manage to be there when he’s trying to use the shower or the kitchen or do his laundry. He realises the irony given you’re his fucking roommate but he can’t cope with this shit.

He finds himself staring when you walk around in tiny shorts and tight tank tops. Or when you slink down the hallway wrapped in a towel like he can’t see you. Or when you stretch your arms above your head while you’re studying, your shirt riding up and giving him the perfect view of your tummy–

Megumi stands outside the bathroom door, towel and a change of clothes in hand. 

He knew girls took a while in the shower but this? You’d been in there for around fifteen minutes, the shower running and your music playing softly from inside. Megumi and Yuji used to function fine with one bathroom between the two of them, but sharing with you, a girl, proved to be a little different.

“M’so sorry,” you squeak as you pull the door open, your hair wet and combed back, your face free of your usual makeup. 

“S’fine,” Megumi murmurs. 

You quickly duck your head and slink away and Megumi just fucking stares. His breath gets caught in his throat at the sight of your towel pulled tight around your body, giving him a perfect view of the outline of your ass. His eyes raked over your bare shoulders and he almost felt dizzy at the lingering smell of your strawberry scented shampoo.

Megumi coughed into his fist, feeling a certain stiffness in his pants making itself known. It’d been a while since he got laid so he’d just deal with it using a cold shower and thinking about violent video games or something.

You’re finding you have the same problem.

You feel your face flush when he comes home from the gym in compression shirts and sweatpants, an earbud stuck in his ear and his skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. And you just sit there in the living room gawking like an idiot as he mumbles an annoyed ‘hey’ then proceeds to ignore you the rest of the night.

He’s caught you staring a few times, especially when you’re waiting for him to get out of the shower so you can use the bathroom and he emerges wrapped in nothing but a towel, his hair dripping water down his pale chest.

And you totally check him out before slapping a hand over your eyes, cheeks flushed as you squeak out an embarrassed, “sorry!”

He just rolls his eyes with a huff and disappears into his room, leaving you to bang your head against the wall because you’re so dumb.

Yuji was right, you do have a crush.

It’s truly a tragic predicament because he seems to have no interest in you. He barely acknowledges you, humming when you greet him and brushing past you when you’re using a shared space at the same time. It’s almost as if he’s actively avoiding you.

“I made you a coffee,” you’re trying to break the ice somehow because Megumi is so unbelievably unreadable that it hurts.

Megumi looks at you, half-lidded eyes tired and bored as he studies your nervous expression. You place the mug of hot coffee on the counter next to his set up of textbooks, notebooks, pens and his laptop.

You fiddle with your hands, “it’s just coffee and milk, I didn’t know if you wanted sugar–”

“Thanks,” he simply says, nodding with a tight-lipped smile before sticking his earbud back in his ear.

You stand there dumbfounded for a moment before you awkwardly shuffle off to your room. Completely missing how Megumi watches you leave.

Once midterms roll around, Megumi disappears off the face of the earth. You don’t see him for weeks because he’s either cooped up in his room or he stays late on campus and you hear him get home at stupid hours of the night.

The next time you see him is at a party.

The frat house you’re at is packed with college students all at varying stages of drunkenness. You’ve maybe had half a drink, deciding to hide away in the kitchen and people-watch. Yuji and Yuko convinced you to come along since midterms were over and the stress swallowing the entire college campus had seemed to somewhat dissipate. 

One party wouldn’t hurt. 

“Yooo! Y/N you made it!” Yuji exclaims, an arm thrown around Yuko’s shoulders, the two of them clutching red plastic cups full of some mysteriously coloured alcohol. 

“Yeah, I thought I’d try and make some friends,” you reply as Yuko hands you a drink.

“Damn, then what are we?” Yuji’s teases, gesturing between himself and Yuko.

You roll your eyes playfully, “more friends, Itadori,” you clarify.

Yuji was a guy that was easy to get along with, always making friends no matter where he went. You became fast friends with Yuji after he and Yuko started dating since you were instrumental in convincing Yuko to give her number to him way back when.

“You and Fushiguro friends yet?” Yuko asked curiously, slightly yelling over the music.

You grit your teeth, “don’t think so. I put the dishes away wrong once and I think he’s hated me ever since.”

Yuji blows a raspberry, “yeah right, you should try and talk to him tonight, maybe hit on him, hm?” Yuji wiggles his eyebrows at you. 

“Why tonight?” You ask curiously.

“Cus he looks lonely,” Yuji points to the other end of the room.

You follow his finger and spot that familiar mop of messy black hair rather quickly. He’s leaning against the wall cradling a drink and damn he looks good in the black shirt he’s wearing, allowing you to totally check out and gawk at his lean muscular arms. He looks beyond bored, his steely blue eyes scanning the crowd with complete disinterest.

You didn’t even know he was coming to this thing and now you’re suddenly motivated to stay.

You gulp down the lump in your throat before squeezing the plastic cup of whatever the fuck in your hand. You lift it to your lips and chuck it back, the bitter alcohol burning your throat on the way down. 

“Atta girl!” Yuji exclaims, “go get your man!”

“You’re for the girls, you know that, Yuji?” You grin.

“I’ve been told,” he beams happily. 

You take Yuko’s drink off her and quickly throw hers back too, needing some liquid courage to get you over there because at least if you say something stupid, you can blame it on the alcohol. 

“Okay, maybe don’t overdo it,” Yuko pats your shoulder.

You take in a breath before nodding and squeezing past your friends, making your way toward your roommate. You didn’t even know he would be at this party, that’s how little you talk to one another. Yet you find yourself getting nervous and stupid around him. 

You’re barely five meters away from him when you stop dead in your tracks.

A blonde girl approaches Megumi, her shoulder bumping his as she leans against the wall next to him. He eyes her before taking a sip of his drink. You don’t hear what she says but he seems vaguely amused by it and you find yourself almost jealous that some random girl managed to get more emotion out of Megumi in the last two seconds than you have in the past two months.

Your heart thumps in your chest and you suddenly feel small and ridiculous. You clear your throat and quickly spin on your heel, heart thumping in your ears as you pick up another drink of whatever crazy jungle juice they’re serving at this frat party and chuck it back. 

He doesn’t even know it and he just crushed your spirit. 

“Uh oh,” Yuji grits his teeth.

“Why’s she coming back?” Yuko asks Yuji.

“I’m going to stand on a highway,” you grin maniacally. Yuko and Yuji peer behind you and spot the same blonde girl talking to Megumi, only this time she’s turned toward him, giving him her undivided attention as she yaps on about something. Megumi still seems vaguely uninterested but he nods along slowly.

“Yikes,” Yuji cringes, “not him talking to his ex.”

“Ex?” you squeak out.

Yuko nudges Yuji’s shoulder, giving him a ‘what the fuck, bro?’ look. Yuji quickly stammers, “I-I mean, they’ve been broken up for like two years, there’s nothing there.”

You don’t believe him for a second because it certainly didn’t look like nothing. You peek back over your shoulder and watch as Megumi chugs the rest of his drink and leaves, the blonde girl trailing behind him. Great, they’re gonna go have sex and you’re stuck having a crush on your roommate who will probably kick you out when he gets back with her. 

Great.

Great.

You turn back to Yuji and Yuko with a wide-eyed nervous smile.

Yuji grits his teeth, “you okay, Y/N?”

You squeak, “mhm, so good!”

Yuko and Yuji share a look with each other before Yuko sighs, “he’s not worth it anyway, you’re a catch, if he can’t see it then he’s stupid.”

You know she’s trying to make you feel better and you’re a relatively confident person, but when you start to crush on someone and they don’t offer any kind of reciprocation for your feelings, you start to feel a little… not so confident. 

Yuko and Yuji try to make you feel better, introducing you to their other friend Nobara who is much more aggressive in her pep talk.

“You’re a hot, sexy mama!” Nobara shakes your shoulders, her speech slurred slightly. “Who cares about that emo hoe anyway!”

You want to laugh but she honestly kind of scares you.

“You gotta get laid by some other guy! A hot guy!” Nobara hiccups, taking another swig from her cup. “Maybe fuck your ex or something! Or, or, or! Fuck one of Fushiguro’s classmates!”

“Uh, I don’t think losing my virginity at a party is exactly ideal,” you reply.

Nobara’s eyes bulge out of her head, “you’re a virgin!?” She says it so loud that a few heads turn and you shush her quickly.

“Tell the whole campus why don’t you?” You scold in a hushed tone.

“You’re hot though, babe,” she hiccups again. “You could pull anyone!”

“Funny.”

“I’m serious!”

You let loose after that, deciding to drink and do shots to avoid thinking about Megumi as if you don’t keep looking for him all night. You’re always peeking over your shoulder, searching for him in the crowd and flat out ignoring the guys Nobara and Yuko attempt to introduce you to. 

You’re not interested in the pre-med students or the business students or whatever the fuck.

You’re more interested in the tall, lean, handsome vet student who happens to be your roommate and who you haven’t seen all night.

After many more rounds of shots, a game of beer pong and poorly deciding to bet Yuji you could drink him under the table; you’re so drunk. You stumble around the party, hanging off Yuji, Nobara and Yuko since they are clearly equally as drunk as you with how they encourage your behaviour. 

Your head is fucking spinning and you feel like you’re going to be sick.

You stumble around the house, clutching the wall and stair bannister as you attempt to find the bathroom. You open a few random doors, spotting people making out, some other people fighting before you finally find the bathroom, bile rising in your throat and your vision going fuzzy. You find a bunch of people smoking what smells like weed in the bathroom, the smell hitting you in the face like a brick wall. 

They all start yelling at you to shut the door and you quickly slam it shut before you stumble back down the stairs, racing to the back door as you feel the vomit start to claw up your throat. You shove the door open, the outside air freezing cold and nipping at your hot skin. 

You half crawl toward the back fence, your stupid heels betraying you as you pathetically fall to your knees and throw your guts up in the garden.

Your brain is on fire and your stomach aches as you throw up all the alcohol in your system. You really shouldn’t have been mixing your alcohols, but Nobara was so convincing and Megumi had just stomped on your heart.

You suddenly feel two cold hands against your head, brushing over your ears as they pull your hair into a makeshift ponytail, holding it out of your face as you throw up. You’re thankful to whatever stranger is helping you out right now because you feel awful.

Tears prick at your eyes, a mix of tears and mascara running down your face because you really fucking hate throwing up and you really hate Megumi Fushiguro right now.

“You okay?” The man’s voice is distant and a little fuzzy.

You wave him off, “m’fine.”

“You’re crying,” he says softly, listening as you sniffle and wipe your tears away with the ball of your palm. There’s a pause, the man still holding your hair back, “why’re you crying?”

You shrug, “cus I’m sick and I’m s’drunk and some stoners yelled at me and roommate is an ass.”

He hums, “what’d he do? …Your roommate?”

“Nothing,” you whine with a soft sniffle.

“Nothing?” He repeats, his voice sounding slightly amused.

“Nothing,” you say again, “that’s the problem.”

There’s a pause. “Why’s that a problem?”

You groan quietly, “why’re you grillin’ me? I’m s’drunk.”

He chuckles softly, “right, sorry.”

You don’t even know this guy and you immediately start rambling, “my friends helped me find a roommate and everyone neglected to tell me he ws’ hot! And I’m tryin’ to get him to like, notice me, but he’s so mean and I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he hates me. Then he was with his ex at this party right before I ws’ gonna go talk to him! Can you believe that?”

“Wow, he is an ass,” the man says matter-of-factly, validating your feelings.

“Thank you,” you slur before you feel your tummy do a flip and you’re throwing up in the garden again. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, smearing your lipgloss messily. You sniffle again, “m’sorry stranger.”

“S’okay,” he rubs your shoulder, still holding your hair back.

You wake up the next morning with the most vicious headache. 

You roll over with a groan, your head pounding and your mouth tasting of acid and whatever the hell was in that jungle juice last night. You press your face into your pillow and groan softly, your entire body feeling like shit. After a few painful seconds, you pry your eyes open, your vision fuzzy and your eyes sore. 

You’re in your bed.

Now how the fuck did you get here?

You sit up slowly, your head pounding and spinning with a wonderfully terrible hangover. You spot your shoes on the floor of your room, neatly sitting next to your desk along with your folded jacket. You half remember someone taking you home, maybe it was Yuji? Fuck, you better thank him.

You take your phone off your side table (which was miraculously put on charge last night) and search for Yuko’s number, you press her name and the phone rings a few times before she answers.

“H-Hello?” Yuko groans, her voice saturated with exhaustion.

“Are you as lucid as I am?” You cringe, rubbing your eyes with the ball of your palm.

You hear Yuko muffle a groan into her pillow, clearly as insanely hungover as you, “we got so drunk.”

“Is Itadori okay?” you ask with a wince.

“He’s throwing up in the shower right now,” she replies.

“That’s rough,” you want to laugh but it hurts too much.

“Well he did crash the beer pong and drank half a bottle of midori so,” she trails off.

“Can you tell him thanks for taking me home?” you sigh.

Yuko pauses, “Yuji didn’t take you home.”

Huh?

“What?” you sit up in bed.

“Babe, Yuji was so drunk he tried to pet a rat in the street, he did not take you home,” she says.

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Then who did?”

“Y/N… Fushiguro took you home.”

What?

—

Megumi nurses a drink in his hand as he watches you from across the room. He can’t help the way his chest tightens as he hears you laugh at something Yuji says, your nose scrunching cutely as you let out a bubbly laugh. 

He also can’t help the way his eyes drift down your body, thinking you look cute with your hair done like that. You’re usually wearing baggy sweaters and shorts around the house, he’s never seen this outfit before and he really likes it.

He thinks you look pretty. You always look pretty but this outfit in particular has him short-circuiting like a teenager. 

He thinks back to when he got unnecessarily mad at you over washing his clothes and how he’ll never fucking admit it but they smelled so good. He’s not sure what the hell you used to wash them but they smelled amazing, they smelled like you.

Megumi has to tear his eyes away when his gaze drops to your cute little ass in that mini skirt. He feels like a perv. He lives with you for god sake, he can’t be thinking such things about his roommate. Not when he has to live with you for the next few years. 

Megumi takes a long swig of his drink, attempting to stifle the thoughts with terrible tasting alcohol and pure willpower. 

“Didn’t think I’d ever see Megumi Fushiguro at a party.”

Megumi has to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he hears her voice. 

Hana leans against the wall beside him with a sly grin on her face, her shoulder bumping his. He knows she’s doing it just to annoy him, of course she is. 

“Why’re you talking to me?” Megumi grumbles out, refusing to give her the satisfaction of eye contact as he sips on his drink because he’s gonna need alcohol or a fucking hammer to the head to get him through this interaction.

“Can’t say hi to my ex-boyfriend?” She teases, leaning her head toward him.

Megumi rolls his eyes for real this time, “you’ve said hi.”

“Oh, boo, you’re so not fun,” Hana playfully shoves his shoulder.

Megumi lets out a huffed fake laugh, “I’m really torn up about it.”

Hana talks to him about some random bullshit and Megumi isn’t even listening because he knows she’s drunk and she would be stupid to approach him sober. His eyes are instead glued to you, feeling himself get slightly jealous when Yuji puts a hand on your back to lead to toward the kitchen–

“–and you’re still mad,” Hana slurs. Megumi didn’t hear a word she said up until now.

Megumi side-eyes her, feeling rather annoyed by her incessant nagging, “you done?”

Hana rolls her eyes, “I’m just saying you could at least have a civil conversation.”

Megumi feels his eye twitch, “I think you lose civil-conversation privileges when you– I don’t know– lie and cheat?”

Hana scoffs and Megumi decides he doesn’t want to listen to her bullshit anymore and promptly walks off, shoving his hands in his pockets as he attempts to lose Hana in the crowd. She follows him around like some stupid puppy for a while before growing bored, probably going off to annoy some other poor sucker.

She also seems to lose interest when she notices Megumi simply doesn’t care anymore. She does this sometimes, drunkenly messaging him every few months only for him to promptly block her account without a word. He’s starting to think she’s the one that won’t move on.

Megumi sighs when he steps outside into the backyard, sitting down on the edge of the porch and deciding to look busy by scrolling on his phone. It’s quieter outside, the backyard mostly empty apart from a few people smoking cigarettes and vaping by the back fence.

Megumi Fushiguro is lonely.

Lonely in the sense that after Hana, he became decidedly more stoic and standoffish. She was his first serious girlfriend and he was stupid and naive for so long before Yuji and Nobara pointed out the rather obvious red flags that Megumi was painfully unaware of.

Because he was young and she was a little older, so she had to know better, right?

Maybe he really was too clingy and maybe he really did need to stop asking to hang out all the time. He felt utterly stupid when he found out she was cheating on him. It made sense, he was too clingy, too needy, too much.

Megumi reverted back in on himself for a long time, becoming sad and angry before he just stopped giving a shit.

He did a lot to forget about the anger and pain he felt from Hana.

He slept around to forget about her, becoming reserved and aloof over time. He eventually did get over it because why the fuck was it his fault that she cheated on him?

But the things she made him feel about himself lingered. 

Made him wonder if he really was too needy and clingy to be a good boyfriend. Maybe he wasn’t respectful enough of a person’s space and he needed to stop trying so hard. 

He didn’t go on dates much, everyone always thought he was too mean or rude to ever ask a girl on a date. Sure he slept with girls but they were quick to leave right after with a “yeah, yeah… I can call you if you want?”

If you want.

He just felt embarrassed, letting them gather their clothes and leave his apartment or usher him out of theirs while half-assed promising to text him later. Megumi didn’t know who was using who at that point.

Megumi is shaken from his thoughts when a body almost falls into him. He goes to argue with whoever the fuck can’t watch their step when he sees you.

Your shoes half fall off as you crawl toward the back fence to hurl up everything in your stomach. Megumi quickly slips his phone in his pocket and strides across the lawn toward you. 

You’re totally out of it.

Megumi pulls your hair out of your face as you vomit, tears slipping down your cheeks. Your skirt is riding up and your top is pulled low on your chest. 

“You okay?” Megumi asks softly, maybe one of the very few things he’s ever said to you. He gently adjusts your top, pulling the strap back onto your shoulder and pulling it up a little to cover the lacy material of your bra. You obviously don’t realise you’re compromising yourself and he adjusts himself behind you to cover your skirt as it rides up your thighs.

There are guys who are nudging each other and pointing at you and Megumi’s gaze hardens on them, suddenly feeling agitated.

“M’fine,” you mumble out with a soft sniffle.

Megumi’s heart melts, “why’re you crying?”

You proceed to sniffle and pout while you tell him all about how your roommate is an ass… without realising you’re talking to your roommate.

He thinks it’s cute, finding you so adorably amusing with how animatedly you speak despite being rather drunk and sick. He finds it sad though that it took you being so drunk for him to sum up enough courage to talk to you.

It scared him how you made his heart hammer in his chest, how your mere gaze on him suddenly made him nervous. But he couldn’t stop himself from staring. You were too cute with your dorky little grin as you stood at his front door telling him all about how you were his new roommate. He made a mental note to curse Yuji out for not telling him Yuko’s friend was a pretty girl and not the six foot two fucking pro wrestler guy he made you sound like.

You can’t possibly have any more to throw up, your skin feverish and clammy as your fingers curl into the grass below you. Megumi rubs your shoulder gently before he feels you slump against him, sniffling and tiredly whimpering beside him.

Megumi goes stiff, unsure of what to do with you. 

He should probably take you home.

“M’gonna take you home, okay?” Megumi says, feeling your body go a little more limp as you nod and pout in response.

Megumi easily picks you up, your legs dangling and your head falling against his chest, then he feels like he can’t breathe.

You look so pretty even when your skin flushes a little pale from being so sick and your baby hairs stick to your clammy skin. He carries you around the side of the house to avoid taking you back through the loud ass party.

You don’t make a peep as Megumi sits you in the passenger seat of his car, your head falling against the car window as he pulls your seatbelt over your shoulder, clipping it by your waist. He quickly sends Yuji a message to let him know he’s taking you home, though he doubts Yuji will pay attention to his phone since he seemed to be having a really good time taking shots and singing bad karaoke.

The car ride is silent and all Megumi can think about is what you said.

Maybe he kind of was being an ass to you. He hadn’t made much of an effort to get to know you or make you feel welcome because, in all honesty, you freak him out with how you made him feel without even trying.

So instead, he ignores you.

Pretending he doesn’t notice how your tongue pokes out from between your lips when you’re deep in focus, or how you always wear fuzzy socks around the house when you don’t have classes, or how you do a little jump to reach things on the higher shelves (which makes him melt), or how you still look at him with such kindness despite how piss poor he behaves around you.

Megumi holds you close as he opens your bedroom door, pushing it the rest of the way open to set you down on your bed. Your hair is messy and your clothes are disheveled, a little pout on your cute little lips as you sway slightly. 

You fall back onto your bed, your head hitting the soft pillow. Megumi sighs before sitting on the edge of your bed, large hands reaching to pull your shoes off for you. 

Your feet look like they hurt, little red blisters forming on your heels and toes. He gently pulls your shoes off and sets them down by your bedside table. You sigh with relief at the feeling of having your feet free of their heel prison. 

Megumi breathes softly and just studies you for a moment. It’s dark in your room but he can see the gentle outline of your face and the curve of your cheek. Your room is quiet apart from your soft breaths and Megumi prays you can’t hear his thumping heart. 

Megumi lets his eyes wander, unable to tear his gaze away from the soft lacy hem of your bra peeking over your top. His breath hitches in his throat and he suddenly feels disgusting for wondering if your panties match your bra— He closes his eyes, biting the inside of his lip.

You whine in your sleep, some of your hair falling in front of your face as you squirm. Without thinking, he reaches up and tucks some of your hair behind your ear, thumb brushing over your cheek.

You stir at the feeling and Megumi pulls away, scared he woke you.

“Mm, where’m I?” you slur, eyes still pressed closed.

“You’re home, don’t worry,” Megumi replies softly.

“Mm, okay,” you breathe, “thanks, Yuji…”

Megumi’s heart sinks but his face remains unchanged. Of course you’d think Yuji took you home, he’s your friend. Why would you Megumi do something like that for you?

He pulls away from you with a quiet sigh, “get some sleep, Y/N.”

—

“How do you know he took me home?” You ask, shaking your head slightly as you restock the mini fridge under the counter with milk.

You managed to shake off the hangover after three days of staying curled up in bed drinking water, throwing back ibuprofen and watching kitchen nightmares on your laptop with all the lights off. But now you’re back at work being blinded by the awful fluorescent lights and smelling of burnt coffee.

Yuko presses a button on the coffee machine, “he texted Yuji, told him he was gonna take you home,” Yuko replies, her hands on her hips.

You let out a shaky sigh, eyebrows furrowed in confusion because why would Megumi have taken you home when he seems so perpetually annoyed by you?

And how did he even find you? You remember the smell of the weed in the bathroom and people yelling at you, then you remember stumbling into the backyard like a bumbling fool, then— 

Oh, no.

“I don’t even know where you went, you’re lucky Fushiguro kept an eye on you–”

“No!” You suddenly squeak.

Yuko gives you a dazed look, “what? What happened?”

You press your hands to your face, drawing out a muffled groan because it just fucking dawned on you who held your hair back in the garden that night.

“It was him!”

“What are you talking about? Who?”

“Fushiguro! He held my hair back in the garden! I called him an ass!” you whine.

Yuko pauses for a moment before she just starts laughing, pressing her hand to her mouth to muffle the sound. You look up at her with the most offended look on your face.

You throw a rag at her, “don’t laugh! I was so mean!”

“That’s one way to break the ice,” she giggles, flinching away from you as you playfully swat at her leg with another rag.

“Ozawa…” you whine, “he must be so mad at me.”

“He still took you home after that though? I think you’re overthinking it.”

“He should have left me there in that damp backyard in my own vomit!” you say dramatically. “No wonder he thinks I’m a fucking idiot.”

“I really doubt he thinks that,” Yuko rolls her eyes, becoming sick of this beating-around-the-bush mantra you’ve got going on.  

“I have to pay all the rent for like, a year as an apology.”

“Can you even afford that?”

“No!”

You slug around for the rest of your shift, moping about behind the counter and wishing the ground would just swallow you whole. When the end of your shift rolls around, you feel more and more nervous about going home now that you’ve figured out you called Megumi an ass to his face.

Before you clean the coffee machine, you make a coffee to take home for him since he seems to always drink the coffees you make for him even if he seems annoyed by you interrupting his studying. 

Your hands are shaking as you unlock the front door, holding a cup of hot coffee and a cinnamon bun in a paper back in your other hand. Your heart is in your throat as you push the door open, peeking inside.

You see Megumi from the front door, he’s sitting at his desk in the living room, laptop open and a few notebooks stacked beside him. Classes haven’t even ramped back up yet and he’s already studying.

You kick your shoes off and shuffle down the hall, heartbeat thumping in your ears and suddenly feeling a chill down your spine at the idea of facing your roommate who you insulted.

You clear your throat, “uh, h-hey.”

Megumi has his earbuds in but he notices you standing there in the corner of his eyes. He takes his earbuds out, “you okay?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, “I got you a coffee.”

You place it down beside him. He doesn’t take his eyes off yours.

Your knees feel weak under his steely gaze. You quickly hand him the paper bag, “and a cinnamon bun.”

“Thanks,” he says simply.

There’s a long awkward pause before you huff out a shaky sigh, “listen, Fushiguro– I’m sorry about the other night when I like, threw up everywhere and called you an ass–”

“S’fine,” Megumi replies blankly.

“No, really, I was mean and rude and I didn’t mean it–”

“I know, idiot,” he cuts you off again, “seriously, it’s fine.”

Your lips form a tight line, eyebrows furrowed with worry because it’s not fine. You want to say more but you’re pretty sure Megumi doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Which is understandable, you’re just happy he hasn’t kicked you out yet.

You toy with your fingers for a moment before you nod awkwardly, shuffling off toward your room. You miss as Megumi watches you leave again, feeling stupid for how bad he is at talking about his feelings.

You avoid Megumi like the plague after that.

You’re so utterly embarrassed by what you said and you can only imagine how mad he is about it but at least he’s doing you a favour by not mentioning it.

You disappear from any room he walks into, slinking by and apologising awkwardly when you take up too much time in the bathroom, or bowing your head and averting your gaze when he walks into the kitchen, you’re embarrassed and you feel awful, and it bothers you that Megumi is so vague and mysterious about how he feels about you, sure he took you home and pulled your dirty shoes off your feet and put you to bed. But he also gives you curt nods and vague responses that leave you wondering whether or not he likes you or just tolerates you. 

Are you friends? Just roommates? Does he like you? Does he hate you? 

You’ve got no earthly idea and the easiest way to survive in such a predicament is to just avoid the very thing that’s causing the problem. 

And Megumi is so damn annoyed by it.

At first it was him who was avoiding you, hiding away in his room so he didn’t have to interact with you and now that he knows you’ve been trying to get him to notice you, he’s been trying to linger around nearby and sort of force the proximity because he has no idea how to approach you like a normal fucking person. 

He reaches things for you on the top shelf when you can’t reach them, he makes sure to take your sweaters out of the washing machine so they don’t shrink, he even sets aside the caramel flavoured coffee pods for you because he knows they’re your favourite. 

He’s bad at all of this. The talking part.

What if you think he’s too needy or too clingy or too much? That would just embarrass him even more than he already is. 

Megumi lets you be, assuming that you’re probably regretting everything you said that night after he so blatantly blew you off when you brought home a coffee for him the other night.

But you talk again when your car doesn’t start.

“Fuck,” you groan, turning your key in the ignition for the third time in the past minute, the engine ticking, ticking, ticking before you give up. You whine and give a half-hearted punch to the steering wheel. 

You knew this would happen eventually. 

Your car is run down and sort of shitty. You have to basically shoulder check the driver’s side door to get it open and you can’t actually open one of the back doors anymore because it refuses to unlock. But you’re broke and the damn thing gets you from A to B, except for today.

It’s raining and your hair is stuck to your head from the mad dash you did from the front door to your car and now it won’t even start. 

You’re basically drenched when you step back inside the front door.

“I thought you left already?” Megumi questions from the kitchen, holding a bowl of cereal in his hand.

“My stupid car won’t– oh,” you cut yourself off when your eyes meet with Megumi clearly fresh out of the shower.

He’s wearing grey sweatpants that hang low on his hips and no shirt, little droplets of water slipping down his broad shoulders and chest from his slightly damp hair. He’s looking at you with a bored expression, waiting for you to continue.

You clear your throat and decide the ceiling is so very interesting, “u-uh, yeah, my car won’t start, ‘m just gonna walk–”

“You’re gonna walk?” Megumi’s eyes narrow.

“I mean I’m poor so,” you give a sheepish laugh.

Megumi rolls his eyes, putting the bowl of cereal down on the counter and turning on his heel to pull his black hoodie off the couch, slipping it over his head.

“We’ll take my car,” he says, grabbing his keys off the side table beside the couch.

Your eyes widen, “huh? What– no, it’s fine–”

“Walking in this weather would be dumb,” Megumi grumbles, “just get in my car, idiot.”

You press your mouth shut and do as you're told, trailing behind him as he picks up his umbrella by the door, holding it over your head as you take the short walk to his car. Megumi holds the umbrella completely over you, the heavy rain completely drenching his left shoulder.

“You’re getting wet,” you point out.

“M’aware,” he retorts without looking at you.

Your shoulder bumps with Megumi’s bicep given the height difference between you. You’ve never been this close to him before, well, at least not sober. You never realised how much taller he is than you, it makes you feel kind of safe.

Megumi unlocks his car and opens the door for you, holding the umbrella completely over you until you’re safe in the passenger seat of his car. You curl your fingers around your tote bag nervously, Megumi getting in the driver’s seat.

“Thank you,” you squeak out.

Megumi starts up his car, his car being one of those ones that has a push button to start instead of a key, “I don’t mind,” he shrugs.

You chew on the inside of your cheek, your heart punching against your chest. You take a breath before you look over at Megumi.

“Do you hate me, Fushiguro?”

The question just hangs there and Megumi feels his heart falter at such a question because no, he doesn’t hate you. Not even a little.

It upsets him that you think he hates you, that you think so little of yourself that you let yourself get torn up over what he thinks of you.

He had no idea he was coming off that way, that you genuinely thought he hated you. 

He opens his mouth to speak but it never comes out. He’s not sure what to say or what to do to make you see that hate is the furthest thing from his mind when it comes to you. But instead, Megumi’s mind is choked with thoughts and it’s so overwhelming that he just clutches the steering wheel and silently drives you to campus. 

He still hasn’t spoken when he parks the car.

The two of you are silent for a moment before he hears you sniffle, his heart snapping in two at the mere sound of it. 

“T-Thank you,” you murmur, quickly pushing the door open and shuffling out before Megumi can protest.

No. Fuck. No, he didn’t mean it like that.

“Y/N, wait,” he gets out of the driver’s side, umbrella clutched in his fist.

You’re holding your tote bag tight to your chest as you walk across the pavement in the pouring fucking rain. 

“Y/N!” Megumi is behind you, his hand curling around your upper arm and stopping you in your tracks.

You pause, turning to face him, eyes glassy and doe-like as you stare up at him, “what is it?” you force out. 

You both hope he says something, anything. He pants, his hair sticking to his face as his steely eyes show the first ounce of emotion you’ve seen from him. 

“Y-You…” Megumi doesn’t stammer, he never does. “Take it,” he holds out the umbrella for you.

A silence hangs between you and you sigh, taking the umbrella from his grasp and opening it above your head, leaving him there in the carpark. 

—

Megumi beat himself up over it for days.

He picks you up that same rainy afternoon, the two of you not uttering a single word to one another other than a ‘hey’ from him and a ‘thank you’ from you. He wants to tell you everything, that he’s really bad at talking about things and that he doesn’t hate you. 

He’s not sure how to prove it to you, the words dying in his throat the moment he shares a room with you for more than five seconds. He’s not sure what to say or how to say it.

Hana always told him he talked too much. Which was crazy because Megumi was a man of very few words. But when the two of them would fight, he was always so adamant at resolving the issue and getting to the root of the problem instead of just letting it hang in the air and choke him.

He sometimes wonders if that’s why she cheated.

You don’t talk to Megumi for a while. Feeling small and embarrassed about asking him such a question when you knew deep down it wasn’t true and you just wanted to hear it from him. 

But it hurt when he didn’t deny your question, when he just stayed silent and let you fuss over it for days. You’ve lost sleep, laying away at night and wondering if you should just talk to him. 

Megumi tries to approach you, he really does. 

He thinks about knocking on your bedroom door late at night but every time he finds himself standing outside, arm held up about to knock, he stops himself and wonders if he even deserves to talk to you. 

If he even deserves to try again. 

“I’m the best you’ll ever have.”

He knew it wasn’t true at face value. He knew Hana wasn’t good for him in the end, but it’s hard to ignore such bitterness coming from someone you used to love. 

“Hey, Yuko,” you greet softly, phone pressed to your ear. “Can I ask a favour?”

“Of course… you okay, Y/N?” Yuko asks slowly, her voice gentle.

You pause, “I just… I need a ride to campus until I can get my car fixed. Would you and Itadori mind if I tagged along? I’ll give you fuel money.”

Yuko pauses this time, “…You didn’t ask Fushiguro?”

You toy with your fingers nervously, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

She hums and nods, “We can take you, Y/N.” 

Yuko knows you well enough to know that something happened. You spoke so timidly and she could tell you were nervously fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater. She would talk to Yuji about it; hopefully he could knock some sense into his best friend. 

It's first thing Monday morning when you emerge from your room with your tote bag over your shoulder and your hair done in a messy claw clip. You look tired, bags forming under your eyes and you make a beeline for the door without even acknowledging Megumi. 

“Do you need a ride?” Megumi sits up straighter on the couch and holds his keys up as if he didn’t set an alarm just to take you to class. 

“Uh, no, thanks. Ozawa and Itadori are taking me,” you say sheepishly, barely offering him a glance. 

Megumi’s heart cracks a little. He wants to say something, tell you he’s sorry and ask if he can please take you to class. But he doesn’t, mouth staying shut as he nods quickly, “right. Okay.” 

You leave without another word, the apartment feeling awful and still without you. Megumi’s leg bounces nervously and his blunt nails scratch at the inside of his knee. He’s anxious and he wants to fix it so desperately but he feels like he’s only making it worse.

“Hey, Y/N,” Yuji greets with a warm smile.

You offer him a half smile before getting in the back seat. Yuko and Yuji share a look with one another before Yuji backs out of the apartment parking lot. There’s an intensity hanging in the air and you just stare out the window with a blank expression, vaguely paying attention to the music on the radio.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Yuji asks softly, eyeing you through the rearview mirror.

“M’fine,” you whisper back, too afraid to trust your voice.

“What happened?” Yuko reaches back between the seats to touch your knee affectionately. 

You shrug, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Yuko pulls her hand away from you and glances at her boyfriend, the two of them making a silent agreement to talk to Fushiguro after dropping you off instead of going to their morning classes.

Yuji slams the door open, nearly sending Megumi flying into the roof with how loud it was, “Fushiguro!”

“The fuck are you yelling for?” Megumi spits, gaze softening slightly after realising Yuko was trailing behind Yuji.

Yuko frowns, “what did you say to Y/N?”

“What?”

“She was upset, Fushiguro,” Yuji crosses his arms, “what did you say to her?”

“Nothing,” Megumi defends quickly.

“Then why is she upset?” Yuko’s brows furrow.

Megumi sighs, “she just asked me if I hated her–”

Yuji cuts him off, “and what did you say?”

Megumi averts his gaze, “nothing.”

“You said what?” Yuko presses.

“I didn’t know what to say–”

“You say, ‘no Y/N, I don’t!’,” Yuji mocks before landing a punch to Megumi’s shoulder, “you upset her, bro.”

“I know,” Megumi grumbles.

“Then why didn’t you apologise?” Yuko asks.

“I didn’t know how,” Megumi dejectedly sighs. “I didn’t expect it.”

“She likes you, man. Like a lot,” Yuji shakes his head, his heart hurting a little at the fact that Megumi looks really torn up about the whole situation too.

There’s a long pause, “can you lie to her?”

“What?” Yuko and Yuji ask in unison.

“Tell her you can’t pick her up,” Megumi adds, “please.”

Yuji and Yuko share another look and Yuko sighs before nodding her head, taking out her phone to tell you that she and Yuji can’t come get you because Yuji’s brother called and needed his help. It’s not a great lie, but you’ll believe it at first glance.

—

Your phone buzzes in the middle of class. You’re tired and you feel like shit and the professor’s monotone voice is boring you half to death. You flip your phone over and read the message from Yuko.

Yuko <3: Hey, Y/N. Choso called and he needs to borrow Yuji’s car, we can’t come get you this afternoon. Sorry hun x

You frown.

Yuko <3: But don’t worry, Fushiguro is coming to get you.

You panic, quickly unlocking your phone to message her back, telling her you’ll get an uber or just walk but you get a message from an unknown number only a second later.

Unknown: I’ll come get you.

You rest your head in your palm and go to message him back telling him it’s fine but the speech bubbles appear and reappear before he sends the message.

Unknown: Please wait.

You let out a shaky breath, your heart pittering loudly in your chest. You zone out for the remainder of the class, nervously chewing on your nails and tapping on the desk. You don’t want to talk to Megumi, you really don’t. At least not while you feel like shit and your thoughts are a huge mess.

You sit on the grass after your lecture, pulling at the blades of grass by your feet while you stare at the ground, teeth nipping anxiously at the inside of your lower lip. You don’t know what Megumi wants to say to you or why he even agreed to pick you up if he was so against talking about whatever the hell was going on between you two.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when a pair of black sneakers intrudes on your line of sight, you know it’s Megumi from the little scuff marks on the edge since they’re so worn out but they’re his favourite pair.

He doesn’t say anything as he stares at you, hands shoved in the pockets off his hoodie like they always are. You wordlessly stand up, pulling your tote bag to your chest and pushing past him without a word.

“Y/N, I–”

You’re too far ahead of him now, making your way to his parked car on the curb. His head hurts and his chest is tight with nerves but he’s quick to unlock the car for you and let you scoot into the passenger seat.

Megumi quickly joins you, turning on the car and just sitting there for a moment, hands tight around the wheel. 

“I–” Megumi feels his throat close up, “I’m sorry.” You feel your eyes glass over but you don’t offer him anything else but he continues, “I don’t hate you, Y/N.”

“S’fine if you do,” you say quietly, “I know I can be annoying and intrusive–”

“–What? You’re not–”

“And I understand if you want me to move out–”

“No, Y/N, I don’t want that–”

You’re rambling now without thinking, “–nd I know you probably need me to move out cus of that girl at the party–”

“What girl?” Now he’s fucking confused.

“And she’s pretty and I saw you talking to her–”

Wait, his ex?

“–Wait, Y/N, that’s not–”

“And I’m sorry I was so drunk–”

“Y/N, stop!” Megumi didn’t mean to yell, but it instantly shuts you up. He peers over at you and you’re crying, tears slipping down your flushed cheeks. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

“S’okay,” you sniffle, wiping your tears away.

“No, it’s not… You just wouldn’t shut up,” Megumi makes an attempt at dry humour, letting you know it was a joke by following up with a half-assed breathy laugh.

You just look at him, eyes slightly red.

“I– Fuck,” Megumi curses, knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel. 

The two of you stay silent, the only thing either of you hear is your quiet sniffling. Megumi sighs, running a hand through his messy hair before speaking, “...she cheated on me.”

Your eyes widen a little.

“That girl you saw. Yeah, she was my ex but… she cheated on me.”

“...I’m sorry, Fushiguro.”

“Stop calling me that,” he grumbles.

“It’s your name,” you retort.

“I don’t want you to call me Fushiguro,” he presses his eyes shut.

Your lips form a tight line and you just watch him, waiting patiently for him to continue because you can tell he’s trying really hard.

“Can you just call me Megumi,” he sighs. “Please?”

You nod, “okay, Megumi,” you whisper softly.

“...I don’t hate you, Y/N. Not even a little,” his eyes finally meet yours.

“You’re really bad at showing it,” you say with a breathy laugh.

“I know… M’just really–” he stops himself, his hand scrunching against the material over his thigh, “I’m just scared.”

Your heart shatters, a pout pulling at your lip because you feel like you’re about to cry again. You study him for a moment, your heart warming at the sight of Megumi Fushiguro being so utterly soft and nervous.

You hesitate for a moment before you reach your hand over the centre console to stop him from grabbing and pulling at his own thigh. His hand is cold and his palm is rough but it’s him. And you were sitting here thinking you needed his comfort when really he needed yours.

He flinches at the gentleness of your touch, your hand is smaller than his but it’s so soft and warm. 

He lets you wrap your fingers around the back of his hand, lets you roll his hand over and press your palm to his. It’s comforting and it’s sweet.

“You don’t need to be scared, Gumi.”

His heart flutters at the nickname and his steely blue eyes nervously meet yours. He nods his head slowly and you smile.

“Feel better?” You ask softly.

Megumi holds your hand in his, eyes still searching yours before they flicker down to your lips briefly. You catch the quick movement and your body reacts without any input from your brain, your tongue darting out to wet your lips.

“Gumi?”

Megumi doesn’t need much more motivation than that and his other hand lets go of the wheel to reach over and cup your warm cheek. Your breath hitches in your throat and your eyes flicker between his nervously. His eyes are half-lidded, nose grazing yours and your hand squeezes tight around his.

“S’okay,” he coos softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “M’gonna kiss you.”

Your heart is in your throat and you start overthinking it, thinking back to the maybe handful of times a boy has kissed you, but never a man, never someone like Megumi.

You nod your head quickly and a smile tugs at the corner of Megumi’s lip because you’re so fucking cute.

You feel the world melt away when Megumi’s breath fans across your lips, his hand coming to cup the back of your head, guiding you to tilt your head slightly as he finally, finally, closes the distance between you, his slightly chapped lips meeting yours.

You melt into his warmth, one hand nervously holding his while the other has a death grip on the strap of your tote bag. 

His lips move against yours, becoming a little more feverish and needy when you let out a soft whine. He feels himself go feral, wanting to drag you into the back seat and take you in this stupid parking lot where everyone can see.

But instead he takes it slow, pressing your lips against his and his hand tangling in your soft hair. You’re nervous and a little inexperienced, he can tell but it only drives him more insane.

He pulls away only a fraction, a cheeky smile pulling at his lips when he realises your lips chase his, your other hand coming to curl around his hoodie sleeve to bring him closer.

“Wasn’t so bad?” Megumi whispers.

You have the most innocent little look on your face, “does that mean you like me?”

Megumi can only chuckle softly at how damn cute you are, “I don’t just kiss any girl like that, Y/N.”

You nod timidly, “m’kay, Gumi.”

Megumi wants to kiss you again but refrains because he knows he’ll want to do other things to you with how you utter the nickname with such innocence, but you’re in a parking lot on your college campus and there are about fifty people that have walked by in the past ten minutes.

But when you get home?

“Megumi–” your hands are clutching the front of his hoodie as he kisses the side of your cheek, then your temple, then above your eyebrow, “wait a second.”

“S-Sorry,” he mutters against your warm skin. 

You’ve barely got one foot in the door and Megumi already has you pinned against the wall in the hallway, a large hand cupping your head while the other rests on your waist. He pants softly, lips itching to kiss you and kiss you hard.

“I’m sorry too,” you say breathlessly. “For not seeing.”

Megumi shakes his head, “you don’t need to be sorry.”

“But I am,” you murmur, “you’re really bad at talking about your feelings but I should have been more observant.”

“S’okay, Y/N,” he rests his forehead against yours, “m’just glad you let me pick you up.”

“I thought about just walking,” you giggle, “letting you grovel for a little longer.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“I’m glad I didn’t.”

“I’m glad you didn’t either,” he smiles softly, running the pad of his thumb along your cheek.

You fall silent, hands just holding onto his hoodie while he presses feather-light kisses to your face. You suddenly feel nervous when you feel a certain stiffness against your thigh.

“...Do you want to–”

“I’m a virgin.”

Megumi pulls away from you, “W-What?”

“You were gonna ask if we could… y’know,” your eyes shift away from him, “I panicked.”

Megumi laughs, like actually, laughs at that.

“Don’t laugh,” you playfully punch his shoulder, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. “A lot of people are still virgins in college.”

“M’not laughing at that,” he grins. “You’re just… you’re really cute.”

You feel your face heat at that, “stop it.”

“M’serious.”

“You’re always serious.”

“Whatever.”

You giggle softly, letting him press a soft peck to your lips.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to watch a movie,” Megumi lies through his teeth, liking the way you flush and stammer at outing yourself. 

“Oh,” you say quietly. 

“Why ‘oh’?” He teases.

“Nothing,” you say quickly, brows knit.

“What?” he presses with a shit-eating grin. 

“Nothing,” you retort.

“...Did you want to have sex?”

Your heart drops, eyes widening slightly because yes, you do want to have sex with Megumi. You’d never really thought much about sex until him. Never thought you’d want a guy to manhandle you or put his hands all over your body until Megumi.

“Can we?” you ask timidly.

Megumi feels a pang in his heart because you’re so fucking cute he might pass away. He smiles before pressing a kiss to your forehead, “if you want to.”

“But do you want to?”

Megumi doesn’t need to think very hard about that one.

“I’ve wanted you in my bed since I first met you, Y/N.”

You breathe hard, your heart racing in your chest and you’re sure it’s loud enough for Megumi to hear how fucking nervous yet turned on you are. Your eyes fall to his lips again, revelling in the feeling of his breath fanning over your lips.

You press up on your tiptoes, Megumi’s head slowly tilting and following you, wondering what you’re doing. Your soft lips graze the shell of his ear and you smile cheekily, about to fucking out yourself with the last of your confidence. 

“Fuck me then.”

Megumi slams you against the wall, arms caging your body as he presses his lips hard against yours. The kiss is needy and feverish, a mess of clashing teeth and wandering hands. Megumi’s hand cups the back of your head, tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss.

His tongue presses against your lips before sliding into your mouth, earning a soft whine from your throat that you didn’t mean to sound so desperate. Your fists curl around the material of his hoodie, pulling Megumi impossibly closer.

Megumi’s free hand drops from your waist to your hip, squeezing your skin. His other hand drops from your head to curl over your hips and grope your ass. Both of his hands cup your ass, kneading the soft flesh and earning a soft mewl from your throat.

“You sound so pretty, baby,” Megumi mutters against your lips, his messy hair tickling your forehead. You want to moan and whine at the nickname but instead you kiss him again.

You’ve got the hang of this kissing thing but you still have no fucking idea where to put your hands without making him uncomfortable– as if his hands aren’t groping your ass.

Megumi pulls away slightly breathless, “you wanna stop?”

“No,” you shake your head quickly, “no, I don’t wanna stop.”

Megumi grins, kissing your cheek, “okay, sweet girl.”

Megumi leads you to his bedroom, his hand never leaving yours and your other hand never letting go of his hoodie sleeve. He pushes his bedroom door open, his lips on your instantly as he backs you up to his bed. The backs of your thighs hit his mattress and you fall backward, bringing Megumi with you. 

Megumi chuckles softly against your lips before kissing the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then the underside of your jaw, then your neck. His hand paws at the bottom hem of your sweater, his fingers slipping underneath to ghost over the skin of your bare tummy. 

“M’gonna take it off, okay?” 

You nod sheepishly, “okay.”

“You tell me if you want me to stop,” he breathes.

“I will, Gumi,” you reply with a whisper, kissing the tip of his nose.

Megumi grins affectionately before his hands grip the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up slightly. Your breath hitches in your throat and he slowly pulls your sweater upward and over your tits. You’re not wearing a shirt, just a lacy black bra, just like the one he got a peek of at the party.

“Pretty,” Megumi murmurs, pressing a kiss to your chest, right between your collarbones. 

Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him against your hot skin as he peppers kisses across your chest, finally pulling your sweater over your head and tossing it aside. You’re left in your pretty bra and a short little skirt that finished above your mid thigh. 

God how he wants to bite and suck on your pretty plush thighs.

His hand snakes underneath you, fingers fiddling with your bra clasp at your back. Your breathing quickens and Megumi kisses your cheek, “s’okay… m’here.”

He unclasps your bra, the cups loosening around your tits and the straps going slack on your shoulders. His fingers ghost over your shoulder as he pulls the strap down your shoulder, pressing soft kisses in his wake.

“C-Can you go faster?” You whine, your voice quiet.

Megumi chuckles, lifting his head to peer up at you, pupils blown wide, “am I going to slow for you, pretty girl?”

You bite your lip, “mhm.”

Megumi lifts his thigh, pressing it between your legs to where you desperately want him. You whine when he presses his strong thigh against your clothed heat, your skirt bunching up at your waist. Your skin feels hot and you feel a wetness pooling in your panties, making your face flush with embarrassment at your own neediness.

“I’ve thought about this,” Megumi whispers, pulling your bra cup down, his large hand cupping your plush breast. “A lot.”

You moan softly, your nipples hardening under the cold chill of the air in his room.

“Thought about what you’d sound like.”

He lowers his head slightly, pressing long, wet kisses to your pretty nipples. Your hand tangles in his hair, pressing him down and forcing him to nip and suck at the soft skin.

“Thought about how you’d look.”

You roll your hips involuntarily against his strong thigh, feeling the friction against your poor little clit. You moan underneath him, your heart racing as he lowers his head to kiss down your tummy to the hem of your skirt.

“Thought about how you’d taste.”

You suddenly let out a surprised gasp when Megumi pulls your lower body off the bed, your hands curling into his bedsheets for support. You peer down at him, your heart in your throat at the sight of Megumi between your legs, his fingers curling underneath the waistband of your skirt and pulling.

He drops the material on the floor, his large hands curling underneath your thighs and pulling them apart, “w-wait, Gumi.”

He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, “what is it, princess?”

“W-What are you doing?”

Megumi smiles against the inside of your thigh, “m’gonna eat your pretty pussy.”

Your hands curl into the sheets and you feel a glob of arousal seep from your cunt. If this is how fucked up he gets you just from kissing you, how the hell are you going to hold up with his tongue inside you?

“You okay with that?”

You nod your head quickly without thinking, a thin sheen of sweat already coating your skin. “P-Please–”

Megumi chuckles softly at how damn cute you are, his fingers hooking under the sides of your panties, pulling them down your legs. They’re covered in your arousal, your pretty pussy glistening under the warm glow of the setting sun.

God he wishes he could take a picture.

“G-Gumi?” You peer down at him, “s-stop staring.”

Megumi pulls your thighs over his shoulders, his hair tickling the insides of your spread legs, “sorry, sweet girl, she’s just s’pretty.”

You let out an involuntary moan when he presses a kiss to your swollen clit, the sudden attention sending a jolt of pleasure through your tummy. You want to slam your thighs closed, your body desperate for friction. 

“Don’t tease me,” you whine. “Please–”

Megumi’s fingers curl into your thighs, pulling them apart further and forcing your pussy lips open to press the flat of his tongue against your awaiting clit. 

“M-Megumi–”

You throw your head back against the bed, one of your hands pressing against the back of his head, forcing him closer to your pussy. No one has ever touched you like this, no one has ever put their mouth on you, no one has ever seen your pretty pussy and you couldn’t think of anyone better than Megumi Fushiguro to be the one to tongue-fuck you right now.

“You ever masturbated, baby?”

You whine, “a-are you teasing me or something?”

He smiles against your clit, tongue dipping down to lap up your slick, “maybe a little. I just wanna know if you’ve ever had something inside you.” His thumbs spread you open, his tongue flicking against your clit and making you whine even louder. “Shh, baby, we have neighbours.”

You don’t give a fuck right now.

“I’ve masturbated b-before,” you say after a hard huff, you feel fucking breathless.

“Oh, yeah?” Megumi presses his tongue against your little hole, lewdly slurping up the insane amount of arousal leaking from you. “You should show me.”

“No!” you whine, “so embarrassing.”

“I think it’d be hot,” the tip of his middle finger presses against your hole. “Maybe some other time.”

You cry out, hands gripping the sheets when Megumi presses the tip of his middle finger into your cunt. His fingers are thicker than yours and you can only imagine so much longer, able to press against parts of you you’ve never reached before. 

“Gumi–” you pant, “m-more.”

“More?” He raises a brow at you.

“Please, please–”

“You’re so cute.”

“Shut up!” you whimper, “js’ touch me–” Megumi can’t deny you, not when you sound so fucking gorgeous and you taste like fucking heaven. 

He presses his finger into you, twisting his hand around and curling his finger inside you. You want to cry, your eyes screwed shut and your belly burning. He fucks his finger into you slowly, his tongue lapping and sucking your clit while your thighs press against his head.

“Gonna add another one, okay, baby?”

You nod your head desperately and he smiles cheekily, pressing a second finger into you to stretch you open. You throw your head back at the delicious stretch, your slick coating Megumi’s fingers and dripping down his wrist.

Megumi feels your thighs pressing together harder and he forces your thigh down with his free hand, your knee almost hitting your chest with how he pins it down. He’s spreading you open, tongue flicking against your clit and fingers curling against your gummy walls.

“Gumi– m’gonna–” you feel your tummy burn and you’re so fucking embarrassed that you’re about to cum from just having two fingers inside you. You start to pant, hands tangling in his hair as lewd slurping and squelches fill his room.

“S’okay, baby. Cum on my mouth,” he groans against you, his cock rock hard from feeling your hips grind against his face. You might be a virgin but your body knows what it wants as you rut against his tongue and your legs shake.

Megumi suddenly shakes his head over your clit, his mouth covered in your slick and you just cum. It crashes into you like a fucking train and you whine and moan against the back of your hand as Megumi fucks his fingers into your sopping cunt, your hole spasming and clenching down on his fingers.

He scissors and curls his fingers inside you, fucking you through your orgasm and feeling a sense of pride but also getting a huge fucking ego boost that he’s the first man to ever make you cum.

Your chest is heaving up and down, your vision cloudy and your mind feeling fuzzy as you come back down from your high. Megumi pulls his fingers out of you, kissing the inside of your thigh and lapping up the mess you made all over yourself.

You sit up on your elbows, face flushed and hair dishevelled as you peer down at Megumi. You suddenly feel immensely embarrassed that he was just between your legs, his tongue flicking over your clit and his fingers deep inside you.

“Fuck, you taste better than I imagined,” Megumi licks his fingers clean while holding eye contact with you. 

You whine and flop back onto the bed, earning a soft chuckle from Megumi as he gets to his feet, attempting to find a towel or old shirt somewhere.

“Where are you going?” You ask timidly.

“M’gonna clean you up, don’t worry, I won’t go,” he replies, quickly pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“But…” your eyes flicker to the obvious bulge in his pants.

“Hm?” He follows your gaze. “Oh, m’okay, princess. It’s not about me anyway.”

“But, I want to–”

“S’okay, Y/N,” he lifts your hand, kissing your knuckles softly, “you can try some other time.”

“...Do you not want to?”

He grins, “course I want to.”

“Then let me,” you whine, pulling him closer to you. “Please.”

Megumi ponders it for a moment. He doesn’t want to frighten you and he’s so fucking scared of losing control and just bending you over and fucking your brains out. But the way you look at him with your pretty wide eyes and your hands gripping his thighs as he stands between your legs– 

How could he say no?

“You want to, baby?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay… we’ll go slow,” he urges, petting your hair gently. 

You’re so fucking eager to please him that it makes him weak. Your post-orgasm body is shaky as you reach for the zipper of his pants, your fingertips grazing against the sensitive bulge. He groans softly, hand petting your head as he lets you figure it out, slowly unzipping his pants and pulling them down a little.

There’s a dark wet patch on his boxers, he’s so fucking turned on by your pretty sounds and your intoxicating taste that his cock is leaking and begging for attention.

“S’big,” you whisper, eyes widening.

And he hasn’t even pulled his cock out of his boxers.

He chuckles, “you flatter me, pretty.”

“N-No, really,” your pretty eyes meet his. “Is it gonna fit in my mouth?”

Holy fucking shit. 

He was thinking you were just going to give him a handjob and now you’re asking if he can fit in your mouth.

Megumi runs a hand through his hair, “fuck you drive me crazy.”

“I-I thought you wanted me to–”

“Baby. You can do whatever you want to me.”

Your eyes blow wide and you just about sparkle with anticipation, “then… can I suck your dick?”

Someone kill him and put him to rest because you’re about to be the death of him.

“Fuck yeah you can, baby.”

Megumi has to help you pull his cock from his boxers and your eyes just about bulge out of your head at the size of him. He’s long and thick and the tip is a pretty pink colour. It’s heavy too, almost too heavy to hold itself up.

He sits down on the bed and you get on your knees in front of him. He strips his hoodie off, his abs flexing as he leans back on his elbows, just watching you.

You bite your lip, suddenly intimidated.

“S’okay… just take it slow.”

You nod your head before your hand wraps around the base. Megumi suddenly groans and you pull away with a fright, “s-sorry!”

“No, no, baby–” he chuckles breathily. “Js’ a lot to take in having a pretty girl with her hands on my cock.”

You look away shyly and Megumi laughs, reaching out to cup your jaw, forcing you to look back at him. He sits up, leaning down to kiss your lips softly. You taste the remains of your orgasm on his tongue, pressing your thighs together as you feel yourself become a little aroused again.

He kisses you deeper, reaching his free hand out to cup your own, guiding you toward his hard neglected cock. “You can touch me, baby.”

Your hand wraps around the base and you squeeze softly, earning a groan from your pretty roommate. He guides your hand up and down and it’s painfully fucking slow but he’s just happy to have your hands on him.

“Atta girl,” he murmurs. “Doin’ so good.”

You beam at the praise, pressing your thumb against the leaky slit of his pretty cock head. Megumi groans, leaning back on his elbows and tipping his head back. You continue the motion, eyes gleaming with pride and innocence as you just watch him fuck your hand.

His hips jerk up, his cock pulsing in your hand.

You suddenly feel the urge to press your lips to his tip and when you do, Megumi nearly cums like a fucking teenager. 

“F-Fuck,” he grunts, his hand unintentionally pulling your hair, forcing out a pretty moan from your lips. 

You take the tip in your mouth, your tongue flattening against the head. You wonder if you’re doing it right but the way Megumi groans and his hand pushes your head further down his length, you think you’re doing a pretty good job.

“Such a good girl,” Megumi sighs, “feels s’good.”

You moan at the praise, taking a little more of his length down your throat. Your hands are squeezing his thighs, nails scraping against the taut skin and Megumi is doing everything in his power to not fuck his cock down your throat.

You start to drool, saliva slipping down your chin and coating his pretty cock. You suddenly gag on his cock, the tip hitting the back of your throat. 

“F-Fuck,” Megumi feels his cock twitch at the cute fucking sounds you’re making. Your eyes are glassy, and you’ve got drool dripping down your chin and your cheeks are flushed so pretty. “You’re gonna make me cum, baby.”

You pump the base of his cock, your tongue clumsily swirling around his tip, eyes glued to him as you watch for his reactions. Megumi suddenly sucks in a breath and pulls your mouth off his tip with a quiet pop! quickly pumping his cock.

Hot ropes of sticky cum spill across your lips and face, Megumi tipping his head back with a deep groan, squeezing the base of his cock as it twitches and jumps.

“Fuck– you sure you’ve never sucked dick before– Oh, fuck.”

Megumi’s eyes dilate at the sight of his cum painting your pretty little face, your fingers swiping at the ropes of cum before you push them into your mouth, tasting him. 

“I do good?”

Megumi laughs breathlessly, “you did so good, baby girl.”

Megumi is quick to clean you up, using an old shirt to wipe the cum off your face while you sit there all pretty on your knees in front of him. He presses kisses to your face and your hair before pulling you into bed beside him, his fingertips tracing over your shoulder as you lay your head on his chest.

“You mean what you said?”

“Hm?”

“You like me?” You ask sweetly, resting your chin on his chest to look up at him.

Megumi sits up a bit, “I like-like you.”

“Wow. That’s a big call, Fushiguro.”

Megumi chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “remember it’s Megumi.”

“Gumi?”

“I like that too.”

“Mm, Megs?”

“Don’t push it.”

You giggle softly, curling into his side with a wide smile.

Megumi takes you to work and campus every day after that night, his hand always in yours when he walks you to class and he likes to pretend it annoys him how you wrap your hand around his arm and how you squeal his name when you see him after class.

When in reality, Megumi couldn’t be happier. In a twisted way, he’s glad you asked him if he hated you, because he was able to summon the courage to tell you the truth.

That he didn’t hate you. Not even a little.

author's note: the way i been pulling all nighters for DAYS. i was about to kill these two I TELL YOU JUST MAKE OUT PLS I CANT–

When you first started living with them, it didn’t take long for them to figure out that you were a sharp mix of sarcasm, gruffness, and blunt honesty. You didn’t sugarcoat things. If they looked ridiculous, you told them. If they were being annoying, you let them know. But despite your icy, sometimes cold demeanor, the band still loved you. You weren’t a big talker about your emotions, but they all knew you cared, in your own way.

Noah, though? He was different. He didn’t just take your sarcasm; he leaned into it, shyly flirting with you whenever he could.

Like that time in the kitchen when he walked in wearing a pair of jeans that were, unsurprisingly, too short to reach his ankles. He rifled through the cabinets for cereal, oblivious to the way you were staring at him over your coffee.

“You know,” you said, setting your mug down, “one day, you’re going to buy pants that actually fit, and it’s going to change your life.”

Noah froze mid-reach, turning to look at you with a confused expression. “What’s wrong with my pants?”

“They don’t cover your ankles, for starters.” You gestured toward his legs with a mocking smile. “Is it a fashion statement, or are you just bad at shopping?”

“I’m tall,” he protested, as if that explained everything.

“You’re not that tall.”

“I’m six three!” he said, indignant.

“Congratulations, Noah,” you deadpanned. “You’re the same height as many other tall guys in the world. Buy bigger pants.”

The rest of the band, who had wandered in during this exchange, immediately lost it. Folio was laughing so hard he had to lean against the counter, and Jolly just shook his head with a grin.

“You’re so mean,” Noah muttered, grabbing his cereal and retreating to the couch, his ears turning pink as the guys teased him relentlessly.

“Someone’s gotta tell you the truth,” you called after him. “Clearly, your friends aren’t doing it.”

But you knew Noah didn’t mind the teasing. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it in his own awkward way, even if the guys never let him live it down.

And then there was that other time in the living room. You were sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when Noah plopped down next to you. He shifted to face you, his signature hesitant smile already in place.

“So,” he began, leaning in slightly, “if I asked you to go out with me, what are the chances you’d say yes?”

You didn’t even look up. “Zero.”

“Not even one percent?”

“Not even half a percent,” you said, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. “Why? You planning to impress me with your ability to burn toast again?”

The band, as always, burst into laughter. Noah groaned, running a hand through his hair, but you caught the small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He was used to this by now.

“You’re impossible,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“You’re predictable,” you shot back, setting your phone down. “Every time you try to flirt, it ends up in a disaster."

He laughed despite himself, his cheeks flushing pink. “Maybe one day I’ll surprise you.”

“Doubt it,” you said with a smirk, though you couldn’t deny the warmth in his voice made your chest tighten just a little.

But the teasing didn’t stop there. Another time, the two of you had been sitting on the porch late at night, the house unusually quiet for once. Noah was writing something in a notebook, probably working on some ideas for a new song, his brows furrowed in concentration, while you sipped on a drink.

After a while, Noah looked up, noticing you looking like you were lost in thought. “What’s going on? You seem quiet tonight.”

You shrugged. “I was thinking about picking up some of those cupcakes from that new bakery in town. Some of you guys mentioned you wanted to try them, so I might as well bring some back for everyone.”

Noah grinned. “Wait, you’re actually going to do something nice like that?”

You shot him a playful glare. “What, you think I’m incapable of being nice?”

"No, it's just..." He hesitated, looking at you for a moment, "nevermind. I think they would appreciate that."

You raised an eyebrow. “What about you, though? What’s your favorite flavor?”

Noah hesitated again, glancing at you with a mischievous grin. “If I tell you, you’ll just pick all of them except that one.”

You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes. “Oh, come on. Just tell me, for fuck’s sake. I’m not going to sabotage the cupcake choices.”

He chuckled. “Fine. The one with the white sparkles on top. Now I’m sure this is the only one I won’t even see in the box.”

You smirked. “Don’t worry. I’ll get one just for you.”

He shyly looked away but you were sure he didn't really believe you.

“You know,” he said after a while, his voice soft, “you can be really sweet when you’re not roasting me in front of everyone.”

You raised an eyebrow, leaning back in your chair. “Oh, yeah? And when exactly am I not roasting you?”

“Right now,” he said, looking up at you with a shy smile.

You snorted, shaking your head. “Don’t get used to it.”

“Too late,” he said, his grin growing wider. “I’ll take what I can get.”

That night, you sat on the porch with him until it got too cold.

A couple of days later, you came home with a big box of cupcakes, the band cheered just at the sight of it. Folio kissed you on the cheek, surprising you as everyone gathered around the box like kids.

"Seriously man?" You looked at Folio.

"Ops."

Noah, leaning against the counter, had no expectation of seeing the cupcake with the white sparkles, thinking you probably even forgot that coversation. He watched as you opened the box, and there it was, right in the middle. You handed it to him, and his eyes softened in surprise.

He took the cupcake from your hand, a small smile spreading across his face. “Thank you.”

"I promised. Didn't I?" You just said.

And then, of course, there was that night in the living room when the guys called you out. The TV was on in the background, but no one was really watching it. Nick leaned back in his chair, smirking as he watched Noah sit next to you on the couch.

“You two ever gonna stop this weird flirting slash bullying thing and just kiss already?” Nick asked.

Noah nearly choked on his drink, and you shot him a withering glare. “Do you ever stop talking?”

“Not really,” he said, unfazed. “But seriously, Noah’s been crushing on you for months, and you just keep shutting him down. Give the poor guy a break.”

Noah groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Can you not?”

“You’re all delusional,” you said flatly, crossing your arms. “This isn’t flirting. This is me tolerating him.”

“Sure it is,” Nick said, grinning. “That’s why you always smile whenever you roast him.”

You rolled your eyes, but you didn’t bother denying it. Noah peeked at you from between his fingers, his cheeks still flushed, and you sighed.

“You’re all idiots,” you muttered, grabbing your phone and walking out of the room.

But as you left, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Because despite your sharp tongue and cold comments, you knew that you cared about him. You cared about all of them but with Noah it had always been different.

And then, there was the time Noah got sick.

It had been a long day. You’d been out since the morning with a friend, running errands, getting things done, and by the time you finally made it home, it was late afternoon. You kicked off your shoes and threw your bag on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief as you sank into the cushions.

It was quieter than usual. You glanced around, expecting to see Noah lurking somewhere nearby, like he always did—sitting on the counter, hanging out in the living room, always popping up like a cat in need of attention. But today, there was no sign of him.

You raised an eyebrow, a little puzzled. It was weird that he wasn’t around. It had been hours, and you figured he’d at least come say hi. He was always around. He was probably just in his room working on some new music, you thought.

“Hey, Nick,” you called out, when he enetered the living room. “Have you seen Noah?”

Nicholas glanced up from his phone, shrugging. “Oh, uh, this morning he wasn’t feeling great. Said he had a bit of a fever and just kind of stayed in his room after that. He’s probably asleep.”

You froze for a second, immediately feeling a knot form in your stomach. Noah never liked to admit when he was sick, but you couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually stayed in his room like this.

“Okay,” you said, but your voice felt off, the concern creeping into your words. “Thanks.”

You didn’t hesitate. Your feet carried you quickly down the hallway to Noah’s door, and your hand was already on the knob before you realized it. You knocked, but when there was no response, you opened the door quietly, peering inside. The blinds were drawn, and the room was dimly lit, but Noah was laying on his bed, curled up under blankets.

The sight of him immediately set off alarm bells in your head. He looked... pale, almost ghostly, and he was barely moving. His breathing was shallow, and his hair stuck to his forehead. The moment he noticed you standing there, his eyes fluttered open, and he blinked, as if trying to focus.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice hoarse and weak, barely above a whisper.

You walked over slowly, concern heavy in your chest. “I’m just checking on you,” you said softly, walking closer to his bed.

You crouched down beside him, reaching out to touch his forehead. The heat radiating off his skin made your heart drop. He was burning up. The soft shiver of his body confirmed the fever.

“You’re hot,” you said, your voice betraying the concern you didn’t bother to hide.

"Finally you admit it." He murmured.

You rolled your eyes. “No, you’re burning up,” you said, your hand gently brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Did you take anything for it?”

He shook his head weakly, looking almost embarrassed. “No, I... I didn’t think it was that bad.”

You let out a breath. “Noah, you’ve probably had a fever for hours. You’re not okay.” Without waiting for him to protest, you stood up, “I’m going to make you take some paracetamol, alright?”

He didn't respond, and you weren't even sure if he registered what you said. When you returned with a glass of water where you had dissolved the medicine, Noah looked up at you with droopy eyes. His pale face looked even more fragile in the dim light, and you could see how exhausted he was, barely able to keep his eyes open.

He tried to sit up, but his arms trembled, unable to sustain him. He swore under his breath, wincing as the strain pulled at his muscles, too weak to follow through on the effort.

"It's okay. Here." You quickly moved to his side, one hand gently supporting his back while you propped him up. His head rested heavily against your shoulder, and you felt a tightness in your chest as you steadied him.

His brown eyes fluttered, looking at you through half-lidded, his expression soft with confusion and exhaustion.

You moved slowly, carefully, making sure he was comfortable before grabbing the glass of water from the nightstand. You held it up, making sure to keep it steady as you brought it closer to him.

His gaze met yours for a brief moment. It was almost as if he didn’t expect you to be so gentle with him, yet here you were, taking care of him without hesitation.

You placed the glass against his lips, guiding it toward his mouth. “Come on, Noah, you need to drink this,” you said, your voice soft but firm. His lips parted weakly as he took a small sip, the medicine sliding down his throat, though he barely seemed able to swallow.

His hands trembled as he gripped the glass, trying to help, but it was clear how difficult it was for him.

You supported the glass, steadying it in his hands, urging him gently, as your other hand still rested on his back, softly caressing it in slow, reassuring motions.

“Just a little more,” you coaxed, watching as he weakly took another sip, his body shuddering slightly from the effort. When he pulled away, you pulled the glass back, but your eyes never left him.

He gave you a tired, almost apologetic glance as he let his head rest back against the pillow, his body sinking deeper into the blankets.

His lips parted in a soft sigh, and you smiled faintly, brushing his hair from his forehead again, your thumb gently rubbing his temple for a moment. It was a quiet gesture, one that said more than words could express, as you continued to sit beside him.

A few minutes passed, and then, in a voice barely audible, he murmured, “I knew you were sweet.”

You smiled softly, a warmth spreading through you at the simple, quiet words. You leaned down, letting your hand go through his hair, murmuring, “I knew you knew.”

He let out a soft sigh, his breathing finally evening out as he fell deeper into sleep.

You stayed there with him for hours, the quiet of the room broken only by the soft hum of the house around you. You let your hand gently run through his hair, the touch almost rhythmic as you tried to soothe him.

Every so often, you’d press your hand to his forehead, checking if the fever had gone down at all, the heat still radiating off his skin, but a little less intense.

Every time his body shifted or he made a faint sound, probably from some fever-induced dream, you softly spoke his name or whispered a quiet, reassuring phrase, just trying to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone.

"You're okay," you murmured gently, brushing a lock of hair away from his forehead when his brow furrowed slightly. "Just rest, Noah. You’re gonna be fine."

There was something incredibly tender about the way his breath would catch, his eyes fluttering under his eyelids, almost as though he could hear your voice even in his sleep. It made your chest ache in a way you didn’t know how to explain.

Noah shifted in his sleep, his body instinctively leaning closer until his face pressed gently against your side. The soft, unconscious gesture made your chest tighten, but you didn’t move. Instead, you noticed the blanket had slipped from his shoulder, leaving him partially uncovered. With careful hands, you pulled it back up, tucking it around him securely. Your fingers brushed lightly against his hairline as you settled back, letting him stay close.

As the evening drew on and his breathing steadied, the fever seemed to break a little. You let your fingers linger over his temple, softly caressing his arm when you noticed the tremble in his hand. It felt like such an intimate moment, one where all the usual sarcasm, sharp words, and teasing were left behind, replaced by something quiet, simple, and real.

Your fingers traced over his knuckles as you kept his tattoed hand in yours before you gently leaned down, brushing your lips against his forehead. You pulled away just as quickly, unsure of what had made you do it—maybe it was the tenderness of the moment, or maybe it was the quiet realization that despite all the banter, despite everything you’d told him, you cared about him more than you ever showed.

Wild for the girl who acted like a bitch all the time, right?

But in that moment, with Noah asleep and calmer than he’d been all day, you couldn’t care less about how it seemed or your usual weird ways of protecting your feelings. You just wanted him to feel better, to know that, despite all your sharp words and sarcastic remarks, there was no place you’d rather be than right there beside him, making sure he was okay.

And for once, you let yourself believe that maybe he knew exactly what you meant when you said, "I'm here, Noah. I'm not gonna leave."

Megumi doesn’t like going out. It’s not his thing, really. He prefers to stay at home to play video games or be his own company, and if he has to be social he prefers a more intimate get together over… whatever the hell Yuji is dragging him along too. 

“Trust, it’ll be fun,” Yuji nudges Megumi’s shoulder lightly. Megumi keeps his hands stuffed in the pockets of his black hoodie, a resting annoyed expression plastered across his face. He’s not sure how Yuji roped him into coming to this gig, maybe it was because Megumi kind of owed Yuji for turning down hanging out with him for the past… many times. 

Megumi doesn’t respond, just wordlessly follows behind Yuji as he weaves through groups of people socialising, vaping and drinking outside the bar Megumi was conned into coming to.

Yuji mentioned something about his friend’s band playing at this bar tonight and there may have been mentions of meeting up with Nobara but Megumi kind of tuned him out after he started going on and on about how Megumi was being anti-social and bringing up the numerous times he cancelled on Yuji (it was a ploy to make him feel bad and it unfortunately worked).

The moment they walk down the graffitied hallway, Megumi is again reminded why he doesn’t like going out. The bar is packed with drunk people and it smells of alcohol and sweat. Megumi inwardly cringes at the whole atmosphere and nearly, nearly, spins on his heel and leaves when some drunk girl bumps into Megumi while giggling and slightly dry heaving.

Before Megumi can even make a comment, Yuji is grabbing his arm, “don’t be a party-pooper, Fushiguro, we haven’t even seen Nobara yet!”

“I didn’t say anything,” Megumi deadpans.

“Yeah, but your face said it all,” Yuji retorts, “come on!” Yuji tugs on his friend’s arm, dragging his friend toward the loud thumping music.

His head hurts already. The music is loud and the random LED lights flying over the crowd are bright and annoying. Megumi is annoyed, to be fair, he’s always slightly annoyed but right now it’s increased tenfold by the overstimulating nightmare that is this club.

Megumi doesn’t even know where Yuji is going. Yuji is staring at his phone, then looking around, then back at his phone again. He’s talking to Megumi but the music is so loud that Megumi doesn’t know what the hell he’s saying. 

“There she is!” okay, he caught that.

Yuji walks a little faster, Megumi attempting to weave through the crowd of people without touching anyone (it’s not working, he’s very uncomfortable). The crowd seems to dissipate as they reach the back of the club by the bar, numerous tables dotting the back wall. Megumi spots Nobara as she leaps up from the table, waving her arm around obnoxiously.

“Itadori!” she’s yelling and if Megumi knows anything about Nobara, it’s that her voice really carries. “Fushiguro!”

Megumi raises his hand from his pocket as a slight wave, his lips forming a tight line. Nobara is already shoving a drink into Yuji’s hand then reaching over to give one to Megumi, “dunno what it is but it’s getting me drunk!”

Megumi tunes out whatever Nobara is saying the moment he sees you. 

You’re chuckling as you watch Nobara and Yuji feed off of each other’s excitement. You’re holding a drink in your hand, absentmindedly swirling the ice around with your straw. 

You’re also trying to remain super nonchalant at the fact you’re totally checking out Yuji’s friend.

He looks completely uninterested in what’s happening, his tired eyes glancing at anything other than the social situation in front of him. His hair is messy and framing his gorgeous face. His hoodie sleeves are rolled up and your eyes trace down his veiny arms adorned with pretty tattoos all the way to his hands. He’s got a couple of nose piercings and an eyebrow piercing, his whole vibe is dark and brooding and you’re so into it.

Where the fuck has this cutie been?

“Y/N, this is my friend Fushiguro,” you sit up a little straighter at the mention of your name. Nobara tugs on Megumi’s arm bringing him closer to the bar table, “say hi, you emo bitch.”

Megumi eyes you and you have no idea what he’s thinking. “Uh, hey,” he says awkwardly. Oh god, he’s a dork. You must have him.

He’s remaining as poker-faced as possible as his eyes glance over you, from the fishnet stocking adorning your legs to the subtle colour of your glossed lips. You’re smiling at him softly through mascaraed lashes and he finds himself peeking down at your lips.

Megumi thinks you’re really pretty.

He mostly just listens as you, Nobara and Yuji talk about college and work, opting for tapping his finger against the glass in front of him. He likes the way you talk, hand gestures accompanying your enthusiastic ramble about your college degree. He also likes the way you laugh, though he finds himself becoming slightly annoyed by the fact that Yuji’s the one making you laugh. 

He decides he needs a smoke, his head is pounding from the loud music and the flashing lights; he needs a break.

Megumi gets up from his seat, nudging Yuji’s arm, “‘m just going out for a smoke.”

Yuji waves him off and Megumi sets off toward the smoking area outside the bar. It’s colder outside but god, it’s so much quieter, just the bustling of cars down the street and the occasional police siren. He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket, flicking his lighter and holding it to the end until the smoke fills his mouth. 

He leans against the wall, cigarette perched between his lips as he scrolls on his phone. He debates it for a while, but eventually gives in and searches your name up on instagram. He finds your account, noticing you’re already friends with Itadori. He scrolls through your posts, feeling like a fucking teenager stalking your social media–

“Fuck.”

Megumi’s eyes snap to you, now with an oversized leather jacket pulled around your shoulders as you rifle through your purse. There’s an unlit cigarette pressed between your glossy lips and your brows are furrowed.

Megumi fishes his lighter back out of his pocket, he walks over to you and nudges your arm, holding the lighter out for you.

You look up at him with your pretty eyes, a smile pulling at your lips, “thanks, Fushiguro.”

You take the lighter from his hand, attempting to flick the lighter to life to light your cigarette. You try a couple more times before Megumi chuckles softly, taking it from your smaller hands and lighting it the first try.

He wordlessly cups the end of your cigarette, shielding it from the wind as he lights your cigarette for you, his darker eyes flickering up to yours briefly. 

The two of you stand in silence for a moment before you speak.

“I like your tattoos,” you say sweetly.

“Hm?”

“Your tattoos, they’re cool,” you repeat with a soft chuckle.

“Oh, thank you,” Megumi replies, absentmindedly running a hand along his inked arm. He feels his heart race a little when you reach a manicured hand out and run your finger along the dragon twisting around his forearm.

“Nobara told me you weren’t much of a talker,” you say, your smaller hand still fiddling with his larger more angular hands as you admire his tattoos. It’s strangely intimate of you to touch him in such a way.

“You talked about me?” Megumi teases, taking another drag from his cigarette with a smirk tugging at his lips.

“All good things, don’t worry,” you retort, finally letting go of his arm to bring your cigarette back up to your lips.

“Didn’t take you for a smoker.”

“Trying to quit, just smoke when I drink,” you shrug. You sigh then turn your head to face him, you look him up and down, “you got a girlfriend?”

Megumi lets out a laugh, coughing slightly on the smoke still swirling around in his chest, “no, why?”

You grin, “‘m hitting on you.”

“Oh, you are, are you?” Megumi presses.

“You’re pretty cute,” you shrug.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Megumi asks, turning his head to blow the smoke away from you.

“No, no boyfriend… why? Are you hitting on me?” You ask curiously with a shit-eating grin plastered across your pretty glossy lips. 

Megumi looks at you and the two of you hold eye contact for a moment. His eyes flicker to your lips briefly before he squashes out the rest of his cigarette, “I’ll buy you a drink.”

“So you are hitting on me,” you tease.

Megumi takes the cigarette from your fingers, stealing your last puff and inwardly beaming at the cherry flavour of your lip gloss before squashing it out for you, “I’m buying you a drink.”

Megumi does indeed buy you a drink, bringing it back to the table for you, even getting you a straw.

“Thank you, Fushiguro,” you smile sweetly.

“Megumi is fine,” he says, pulling his chair out to sit next to you.

You suppress a smile, “okay, Megumi.”

The both of you miss as Yuji reluctantly slips Nobara some cash. 

The two of you talk all night. Megumi is a little more laid back after you manage to get two drinks into him. The time slips away from you and you find yourself not even interested in what Nobara and Yuji are talking about as you talk to Megumi. 

Megumi lets you toy with his fingers, your nails dragging along his tattooed hand and up his arm. You suddenly grow curious, wondering if he’s got any other tattoos underneath his clothes, you feel like a bit of a perv coming onto this guy you just met, but you’re so drawn to him and he seems to be just as into you.

You catch Megumi’s eyes drifting down to your tits before he quickly clears his throat to answer whatever question you asked him. You think it’s cute and you decide to tease him a little by wriggling a little closer to him, your fishnet-clad thigh pressing against his. 

He knows what you’re doing and he’s not even mad about it. He lets you laugh and hang off him, lets you toy with the hem of his hoodie sleeves and lets you bump shoulders with him. In all honesty, he lets you because you’re hot and you’re into him.

“God, it’s so late,” Nobara sighs, wincing at the brightness of her phone.

Megumi checks his own phone; 12:54am. God, it is late.

“Open your phone,” you mutter, your chin resting on his shoulder.

“Why?”

“Just open your phone,” you giggle.

He does as you say and he nearly has a fucking heart attack when his phone opens to your Instagram that he was totally not stalking just a few hours ago.

“Fuck,” he knows he’s caught red-handed when you start to laugh softly, his hand falling slack in his lap.

“Aw, you’re stalking me, Gumi?” 

Megumi feels his chest tighten at the little nickname and he rolls his eyes but doesn’t offer any kind of explanation as he hands you his phone to do whatever it is you wanted to do.

You scroll to his contacts, quickly putting your name and number in his phone (you also make sure to follow your Instagram from his phone) before clicking it shut and handing it back to him. 

“Don’t forget to call me, kay?” you give him the prettiest doe eyes and quickly stand up, grabbing your jacket to join Nobara as she leaves. “It was nice to meet you, Megumi.”

He sits there dumbfounded as you and Nobara leave, he watches your back, watching your little skirt ride up over your ass a bit as you walk away. Fucking hell.

“Dude!” Yuji nudges his arm, “you got her number!”

“Shut up,” Megumi retorts.

“Told you you’d have fun.”

“Shut up!”

Megumi shoves a laughing Yuji away as he reaches for his own stuff to leave. The club is mostly empty by now, Megumi not realising how much time they’d spent here because he was so fucking distracted by you.

He and Yuji go to leave when Megumi notices your purse is still hanging over your chair. He quickly grabs it, scanning the crowd with his tall frame in hopes you’re still hanging around. You’re not, so he quickly pulls on Yuji to catch you before you go. Not that you’ll get far without your keys.

-

“Fuck,” you stand by your car and realise you left your purse in the club. You’re almost two blocks away from said club and Nobara has already left, leaving you somewhat stranded. You sigh, pulling your phone out of your pocket to text Nobara and ask her to turn around and take you home because you’re too tired and your feet hurt too much to walk all the way back.

“Hey, Y/N,” you perk up at the sound of your name, spinning on your heel and watching as Megumi catches up to you, your purse slung over his shoulder.

“Oh fuck, thank you!” you sigh with relief as Megumi hands you back your purse. You fish through your purse for your keys, “did Yuji drive you?”

“Yeah, but he’s already left,” he says.

You give him a look, “he has, huh?”

“Thought I could drive you… since you’ve had a couple,” Megumi tilts his head at you and you grin knowingly.

“What a gentleman,” you tease. “My place or yours?” you joke.

Megumi just looks at you and there’s a thick tension hanging in the air. He suddenly surges forward, capturing your pretty glossy lips in a hard kiss.

You kiss him back almost instantly, lifting your arms to wrap around his neck. Even with heels on, Megumi is taller than you and you have to arch your back to catch his slightly chapped lips as he leans over you, his large hands landing on your waist to pull your hips against his.

“Here’s fine,” he mutters against your lips with a cheeky smirk, you can only laugh softly as one of his tattooed hands comes up to hold the back of your head, forcing you to deepen the kiss.

He forces his tongue into your mouth and you whine softly. He tastes of tobacco and spiced rum and it makes you fucking dizzy. You thread your fingers through his messy black hair, tugging on it as he moves you to press your back against the cold car window.

“You bring my purse all the way here just to kiss me?” You quirk a brow at him, panting slightly.

“Maybe,” he grins, trailing his lips down your jaw to your neck. “You leave your purse on purpose so I’d bring it to you?”

“Maybe.” 

Megumi’s hands trail down your waist to your ass, gently kneading the soft flesh over your tiny skirt. Your pretty nails push up the hem of his hoodie, feeling up his toned as fuck abs that tense slightly under your touch.

He kisses you again, his thumb coming to rest on your throat as his fingers squeeze slightly, god you really want him to choke you while he fucks you–

“Unlock the car, Y/N,” he says against your ear, his voice low and sexy. 

You pull your keys out of your purse and unlock your car (you’re lucky your car is parked in the dark at the back of the parking lot). 

You clamber over each other in the backseat until you’re straddling Megumi’s lap, your fingers in his hair once again while he kisses and sucks on your neck. His hands knead your ass, his fingers slipping down to lift your tiny skirt over your ass.

“Mm, touch me, Gumi,” you whine against his ear.

Megumi smiles against your neck before pulling away from you. You whine a little at the loss of contact but he quickly kisses you again, one of his hands snaking up the bottom of your top to grope your tits. You hold his hand over your top, forcing him to squeeze your soft skin.

You let out a soft moan at the feeling of his cold rings nipping at your hot skin. You grind your hips down against his, feeling his bulge rub against your wet panties. He groans at the feeling, his free hand curling into the plush skin of your ass before he reels it back to deliver a smack! to your ass.

You moan at the slight sting, hands holding Megumi’s face to kiss him as he forces your hips to grind against his hard-on.

“You’ve been teasing me all night,” Megumi pants against your lips.

“I just wanted you t’fuck me,” you retort playfully.

“Such a slut,” he kneads your ass again before reaching his hand down further to run his middle finger across your slit over your panties. “Someone’s excited, hm?”

“Shut up,” you whine as he traces his finger over your clothed clit. You curl your fists into the fabric of his hoodie, moaning against his shoulder as he presses his finger a little harder against your clit.

He suddenly reaches both hands down, ripping apart your fishnets for better access. He pulls your pretty lacy panties aside, the pad of his finger prodding at your soaked hole. He traces his fingertip around the opening, chuckling as you whine and hump his lap looking for friction.

“Don’t tease me,” you grumble.

“You’re so cute when you’re needy,” he teases. You pout and he chuckles, pressing a wet kiss to your lips as he plunges his finger into your awaiting heat. 

You moan at the feeling, pressing your face into his shoulder as he pumps his middle finger into your tight cunt. You’re so fucking tight and you’re only taking a finger– he can only imagine how heavenly you would feel wrapped around his cock.

Your little hand presses against the buckle of his belt and Megumi delivers another hard smack! to your reddened ass. You moan out again, your trembling hands clutching his hoodie.

“So fucking impatient,” Megumi presses a second finger into your cunt, peering over your shoulder and watching as your slick starts to coat his palm and probably his clothed thigh.

“Mm, hah–” you sigh, feeling as Megumi scissors your poor little cunt open, his fingers prodding and curling against the spongy spot inside you. Your pussy makes lewd squelches as Megumi fucks his fingers into you. You grind your hips against his hard cock in his boxers, the friction rubbing your poor neglected clit.

You feel your lower belly start to burn as you whine and hump against Megumi’s clothed cock, your hole beginning to tighten and spasm around his fingers.

Megumi suddenly pulls his fingers from your soaked little pussy. You let out a frustrated whine as the burn in your belly subsides and you pant against Megumi’s neck. 

His fingers prod at your lips without warning and you open your mouth just slightly and he forces his fingers into your mouth, pressing down on your cute little tongue.

You suck on his fingers, your smaller hand curling around his wrist as you make cute little noises. Megumi kisses your temple before his lips ghost over the shell of your ear, “I want you to cum on my cock… can you do that f’me, baby?”

You nod your head quickly.

“Words, baby,” he coos, his hand kneading over the harsh red welt blooming on your ass. 

“Mhm… I can do it,” you pant, a thin sheen of sweat coating your skin. “Please.”

Megumi’s hand reaches for his belt buckle, quickly undoing his belt and unzipping his pants. If he wasn’t so impatient, he would have taken you home and had you spread your legs for him to fuck you with his tongue and his fingers. Then he would have forced you onto your knees and fucked your face until you cried before he put his dick anywhere near your cunt.

But this is just as good.

Megumi pulls his cock from his boxers, groaning as he pumps himself a few times. Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head at the sheer size of him, but also the fact that underneath the pink head of his cock is a little silver barbell. 

“You got a condom, baby?

“N-No,... you have your dick pierced?”

Megumi almost forgets he has it half the time, “yeah… feels good, don’t worry.”

You bite your lip, suddenly a little jealous of how he exactly figured out his piercing felt good. Megumi notices your flushed face and the way you chew on your lip. His large hand gently cups your face, forcing you to look at him so he can press a soft kiss to your lips.

He reaches for your hand, bringing it down to wrap around his hard cock. It’s heavy in your hand and you gently squeeze, jerking him off.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Megumi kisses at your skin, “promise ‘m gonna take you on a date tomorrow.”

You giggle at his attempt to make you feel better, “you better, cus if you’re gonna fuck me raw you better buy me dinner.”

Megumi chuckles through a low groan, grabbing your wrist and forcing you to stop squeezing and jerking him off because if you keep doing it he’s gonna cum like a teenager because you’re the prettiest fucking girl he’s ever seen and now you’re on top of him with your top pushed over your pretty tits and your pussy waiting for him.

Megumi kisses you again, his tongue pressing against yours as you lift yourself up a little, your hand wrapping around the base of Megumi’s big fucking cock to line him up with your sopping hole. 

Megumi’s hands land on your hips, his dark eyes meeting yours as his tip prods as your hole. You feel his piercing catch on the outside of your hole and you tip your head back and moan as you sink down, Megumi peppering kisses across your tits as he helps you lower yourself down on his cock.

You’re so fucking tight around him when he finally bottoms out, your pussy wrapped so snug, pulsing slightly as you pant and moan.

“S’big, Gumi,” you whine.

“I’ll be gentle,” he says as he lifts your hips, slowly pulling you back down on his cock. “You gotta help me out, princess.”

You pant, only just noticing how foggy your windows are. The two of you are coated in a thin sheen of sweat and you lean back, planting your hands on the tops of Megumi’s knees so you can bounce on his cock.

You start off slow before you get lost in the feeling of his cock and the piercing dragging against your tight walls. Megumi’s hands bruise your hips as he helps you bounce on his cock, his eyes unable to look away from where your pussy sucks in his cock.

Your slick is forming a white ring around the base of his cock, your wetness dripping down the inside of your thighs and down onto his pants. You’re fucked stupid on his dick as you babble and moan incoherently, unable to stop bouncing as you chase your orgasm.

You pull almost all the way off his dick before forcing yourself back down, your eyes screwing shut at the feeling of his cock kissing your cervix. Megumi’s hand presses against the slight bulge in your tummy, the feeling making you fucking dizzy.

“Harder, please Gumi, fuck me harder,” you cry out, your finger sinking down between your thighs to rub circles on your clit. 

Megumi feels like he gets harder at the nickname, “fuck, baby,” he coos, his hands bruising your hips as he bullies your cunt, the tip of his cock bruising your poor cervix. One of Megumi’s hands wraps around your throat, squeezing on your pretty neck. You choke on your own moans as your orgasm nears.

“I’m gonna– Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you cry, tears pricking the corners of your eyes, mixing with your mascara and slipping down your pretty cheeks.

You feel your belly start to burn and your nails scratch at Megumi’s forearms as he lets go of your neck to press his own thumb against your sensitive little clit, forcing your orgasm out of you.

You cry when you feel the coil in your belly snap, your cunt spasming around Megumi’s cock and gushing around him.

“That’s it, princess. Fuck, that’s a good girl,” he eggs you on, your legs shaking at the feeling of your orgasm crashing into you. “You’re so tight, baby.”

You don’t respond, your vision turning white as your cunt clamps down on him. Megumi groans and grunts at the feeling, bouncing your hips on his lap and using your fucked out body to chase his own orgasm.

Megumi’s cock twitches inside you and you just whine and cry as he pumps you full of his cum, thick white ropes painting your insides. He forces your hips down onto his cock, finally ceasing his movements and just panting, attempting to catch his breath.

Your body shakes and you mewl softly, babbling incoherently. Megumi coos, pulling you against his chest and running a hand down your back to bring you back to earth, “shh, shh, you’re okay.”

“Mhm,” you hum.

“Too much?” he asks, petting your hair and kissing the crown of your head.

You shake your head, “best sex of my life,” you sigh.

Megumi chuckles, his hand gently rubbing up and down your back, his other hand fixing your shirt back over your boobs. “I’ll take you home now, kay?”

“You gonna stay?” you ask, peering up at him with a fucked out expression and dried mascara stuck to your cheeks.

“You want me to?” he smiles.

You nod, “mhm… otherwise how will you make me breakfast?”

Megumi laughs, lifting your head to press kisses to your face. 

After a moment longer, Megumi lifts you off of his softening dick, his cum leaking from your abused little hole. You sigh at the empty feeling, your thighs aching from the stretch. Megumi fixes your panties back into place, pressing another kiss to your forehead.

He manages to carry you and put you into the passenger seat, fastening your seatbelt for you before starting up your car and actually driving you home–

“Wait, where the hell am I going?”

You can only tiredly giggle from the passenger seat.

His face sits front and center in a group shot on the cover of a magazine—a rock magazine highlighting Bad Omens as Best International Artist. Something inside you swells and flutters. Pride, you think. You always believed he would go far with his words, envied his ability to lay them out so eloquently, weaving them into songs.

Maybe if you had, too, he wouldn’t feel like a footnote in the story of your life. The bond you shared, that special something you’d been too scared to name back then—love—could have come to fruition.

The magazine sits on your coffee table for a week—unopened, but face-up—so you can glance down at him and the rest of the guys. You didn’t stick around in Virginia long enough to meet Jolly, but you’d briefly crossed paths with Folio and managed to forge something of a friendship with Nicholas—Noah’s best friend.

It takes you another week before you finally open the magazine with the intention of reading it—at least the article. Most of it’s about the music, the new album, the trajectory of it all. Then your eyes glaze over the part of the interview that touches on the recent popularity of their song Just Pretend on TikTok. He doesn’t have to name you outright for you to know what influenced it, how the lyrics were written about you. He never had to explicitly say, because you always knew.

You never really ventured into the band’s discography. You followed subtly, heard their name crop up here and there, but it seems they’ve recently broken new ground—though it doesn’t surprise you. Nick and Noah had always been talented, and with the addition of Jolly and Folio, you can only imagine what they’ve achieved.

When you finally take the plunge, diving into their music from the start, you find yourself struggling through parts. There are too many similarities about you and him hidden in the subtext of the lyrics. You make it through, even as it tears at your heart, dredging up memories you’d long since tucked away—kept safe in a lockbox deep inside you.

Three weeks pass, and you find yourself buying three more copies of the magazine: one you saw on display in a coffee shop, one from a convenience store, and one from a Hot Topic window—though that one took a bit of bartering.

In double that time, the number increases to nearly quadruple. At this point, you’re probably the sole owner of almost every copy in the city. You’re not sure when or why the collection began, but now it follows you from place to place, and in every new location you reach, you pick up another. You read them just as often, too—your first copy as beaten and battered as you feel every time you dare to torture yourself by re-reading the same passages of the interview you know will tear your heart to shreds.

This wasn’t how it was meant to go for the two of you—him writing songs about your what ifs, and you learning everything you can through the tiniest pieces of his soul he bares in his music and interviews.

The thought of it breaks your heart all over again.

Less than a month later, you’re in a new town. As you pick out a postcard for your family back home, you find yourself choosing another—for him. You don’t know what prompts you, exactly. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s been on your mind a lot more lately.

You send it to the band’s P.O. box. It’s the only form of contact you have left, after being laughed at by a stranger on the other end of the phone. You had called the number listed on the band’s record label website, hopeful that maybe—just maybe—you’d get to speak to him. The woman who answered wasn’t apologetic. In fact, she seemed amused, as though you were just another eagle-eyed fan chasing a long shot. Maybe things would’ve gone differently if she had known who you are to him… who you were.

Your message is simple—a response to his lyrics:

I’m still out here. I’ll wait you out. – x

You consider adding more, but decide against it. There’s always next time. If there is a next time.

There is—multiple, in fact. Every new place you go, you find a postcard just for him. Your messages are short, pointed. You mention the things you’ve been doing—the ones you once promised you’d do together someday. You tell him where you are, even though it doesn’t matter. By the time he gets it, you’ll already be somewhere else.

Do you remember when I told you my biggest fear was roller coasters too, and that one day we’d conquer that fear together? We weren’t together, but I went—for you. For us. I threw up afterward, and all I could think about was how you’d be fretting over me for at least an hour. I always think about things like that. Your caring heart. I miss it. I miss you. – x

I went ice skating at the Rockefeller Center. I remember you once told me you’d never been, that you couldn’t skate. I promised I’d take you. There were a couple of kids there who looked like they were in love. They held onto each other as they skated. They made me think of you. They made me think of us. – x

I never told you, but I always knew you’d go far with your music. I’m proud of you. – x

I thought I saw you today. I followed the guy for about ten blocks before I realised it wasn’t you. In fact, he looked nothing like you. I see you a lot lately—in the faces I pass. – x

I think of you a lot. I only hope you still think of me too. – x

It’s confirmed: Chicago does have the best pizza. They also have the best hospital vending machine selection. (Only one night in A&E) – x

My family still asks about you sometimes. They remember you—call you my “funny friend” because you always made them laugh. It hurts to hear them call you my friend. You were always so much more than that. I’m sorry I was too late to realise it. – x

Even now, his face continues to haunt you. His ghost follows you, lingering in the memories you’re making alone—the ones born from promises you once made together. You carry him with you still. The nine magazine copies have doubled. Magazines, CDs, even a Japan-exclusive edition you found tucked away on the back shelf of a Goodwill.

You convince yourself to go to a concert. It’s not a large venue—one of their smaller shows. You’re in town, not by coincidence, so why not? You stay out of sight, near the back of the crowd, and you’re thankful you thought ahead, because when he starts singing the opening lyrics of Just Pretend, you feel your composure slipping.

You don’t make it through the whole thing.

You slip away before he has the chance to see you, bumping into someone on your way out. For a brief moment, you freeze—panicked, apologetic—until you lift your gaze and find yourself staring into a familiar face.

You’d almost forgotten the possibility of Davis—the second person Noah has known as long as Nick. You catch the flicker of recognition in his eyes and move quickly to slip past, but then you hear him calling your name.

You don’t respond. You don’t look back. You just leave and hope to God he doesn’t realise he’s right.

You’ve been checking every date since the band’s tour schedule was released. You’ve followed nearly every city with the intention of going, of seeing them—of seeing him, but every time, you back out, lose your nerve.

You wonder if maybe it’s best to leave well enough alone. Is there any point in digging up the grave another time?

At the last tour date offering a meet-and-greet opportunity, you swallow your fear—and your pride. If you don’t do it now, you never will. You saw him once, though barely. You heard his voice, and it broke something inside you. For so long, you feared never hearing it again, and now, all you want is to hear it again, to see him again. Even if it’s just for one last time, for one real goodbye.

Your hands are sweaty as you wait. He’s thanked hundreds of people before you—each calling him their favorite, each naming their favorite songs or quoting their favorite lyrics. The rest of the band mostly go unnoticed, or are appreciated by only a few. That makes your heart ache, especially for Nicholas, who you always knew to be one of Noah’s biggest inspirations—his steady, guiding hand.

Each time you dare to glance at Noah, you catch pieces of the performer’s facade—the bright smile that feels just a little too forced to be real. You remember his real smile all too well. Even his laugh sounds animated now.

It feels like watching an animal in a zoo—a monkey trained to perform. Keep the line moving. Keep everyone happy. There’s a flicker of guilt, because maybe you’re part of the circus now, too, but your intentions aren’t ill-meant.

You’re getting closer now. You start counting down the people ahead of you.

10.

You’re rehearsing what you’ll say. Every scenario you’ve ever imagined is playing in your head like a movie reel—a script you’ve prepared.

7.

But what words could ever cover the span of a decade?

3.

You wonder if it’s too late to back out—if you could slip away unnoticed.

You pass the Nicks first, unsure if either of them really registers you, but you’re too caught up in your thoughts to notice the way Nicholas elbows Folio with a subtle nod in your direction.

Before you can process it, Noah is sitting in front of you. Your mouth goes dry. You choke on the words. An apology? A hello?

You’re prompted to speak by a young man about their age, wearing a cap and a Lord of the Rings T-shirt, keeping the line moving at a steady pace—the same line you’re now holding up.

Noah hasn’t looked up yet, as if waiting for you to say your name so he can sign, the same way he has with everyone else before you. You wonder if he knows. If he can sense it’s you standing there, and when you finally find your voice, you say the only thing you can think to say—your name.

The moment it reaches him, his head lifts in recognition. His eyes widen, as if the sight of you is deceiving, and suddenly, your pounding heart is in your throat—overwhelmed with a mixture of joy, anticipation, and the distinct urge to throw up.

The only thing Noah says in return is your name—so soft it’s barely a whisper. As if saying it aloud might wake him from a dream. As if, by naming you, he might lose you all over again.

Once upon a time, there were two people. Those two people were star-crossed, fated, meant to be. All of the romantic stories could have been about them. It wasn't a grand adventure for him to find her, and he didn't have to save her from a dragon. And she had never been locked in a tower, or forced into slavery by an evil step-mother.

No.

No, it was much simpler than that.

You. You were the one who lived in the house down the street. The house that he rode past every day on his bike when he was young. You were the one he used to see in the neighbourhood, playing with your friends and climbing the tree at the end of the block that all the kids were convinced was a magic wishing tree.

You were the one who came to school with notes in your lunchbox from your mom and knew that you were loved.

And him? He was the kid with the witch for a mom. She wasn't really a witch, but she scared a lot of the kids on the block. She would stand in the street, yelling for him to come home, and if he didn't show up, she'd give up and lock him out for the night. He was the one who came to school with bags under his eyes wearing the same hoodie he'd been wearing for a week.

He was the one who would look at all the kids around him, wishing he could be like you.

You found him in the wishing tree once. That day, you ran down the block, adamant that the tree would help you pass a test in your fourth grade science class. As an adult, you know how stupid you were, but back then it was the most obvious answer.

He was in the tree, high up in it's branches. He huddled in on himself as the cold wind whipped against his skin. He was alone, but his lips moved as tears rolled slowly down his cheeks. His bloodshot eyes fixed on you as you climbed higher, his lips pressing into a thin line as he watched you nervously.

You didn't hesitate for a second.

'Hi,' you said brightly, seeing his pain. You didn't know how to help him, and your eight year old brain couldn't imagine the gravity of his troubles. All you were sure of was that he was there, and he was upset. 'What are you wishing for?'

'Nothing.' His lie was blunt, and his eyes flitted away from you as he sniffed hard against his tears. He drew his heels in under himself as he perched on the thickest branch, his arms wrapped tightly around his knees while he shivered.

'Oh,' you said softly. 'I was going to wish for help on my test tomorrow. It's a science test and I suck at science. But, if you want, I can wish for whatever you were wishing for? It might help to have more than one person wishing for it?'

He scoffed, his deep brown eyes looking you over quickly before returning his hard stare back to his purpling fingers.

'A science test? Why didn't you just study?' he asked, his voice low. His hard shell seemed to crack as he glanced back at you a few times.

'I got distracted,' you admitted. 'A lot. Focussing is kind of hard for me, my mom says I have attention problems, but my dad thinks I'm just making it up to get people to feel sorry for me.' You leaned against a branch, tugging awkwardly at the sleeves of your pale blue hoodie. 'Sometimes my brain goes too fast though, and I can't read or I say stupid things that I don't mean. It's embarrassing.'

'Like offering a wish to a stranger?' he said, a snip in his voice. The words cut through you, stinging as you digested them. Your lip jutted out in a pout as you felt your gut twisting from his insult.

'Yeah,' you nodded sadly 'I guess...'

Your turned dejectedly, wishing silently for the boy to learn some manners, and grabbing the branch to lower yourself down.

'Wait,' he called. Your head snapped back to him, seeing him staring at you. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.'

You smiled weakly up at him, and after a brief pause, you made your choice. You scaled the branches and hauled yourself up to his level. As you reached him, you sat on the only other branch that stays steady under your weight, just above him in the dying leaves. The cool breeze rustled through the leaves, a few coming loose and drifting around you while the sky above darkened.

'I'm Y/N,' you said, pulling your hood up to protect you from the chill. Your introduction sounded eager, like you were asking for something. Mentally you kicked yourself, but he seemed receptive.

'I know, I've seen you at school,' he told you, shifting slightly to face you. He chewed the inside of his lip while he wiped his sleeves over his face, trying to erase the traces of his tears. No matter how hard he wiped, there was no way for him to erase the hollow sadness in his eyes. The moment you saw it, you knew there was more to this boy than he let on.

'I've seen you too. You're in Miss Forson's class, right?' you asked. You watched him nod slowly.

'Yeah. My name is Noah. You've probably heard it being yelled down the street enough times...'

'That's your mom, isn't it? The one who stands on the lawn yelling?'

Noah nodded, his cheeks flushing red and hanging his head. He clenched his fists and sniffed again, tears welling in his eyes.

'Yeah, that's her.'

'You're hiding from her, right?' you prodded.

'Yeah,' he said, his voice thick as he swallowed down the pain welling in his chest.

'Do you do that a lot?'

He nodded again, unable to look at you now. Your face fell, watching him picking at his nails and seeing his lip quiver.

'If you want, my mom would probably let you stay at my house? We could play my playstation for a while?' you offered. 'But, you gotta help me with my science test, just for a little while so my mom thinks you're not just there to distract me.' You giggled when you saw the corner of his lips lift into a smile. A sad one, but a smile nonetheless.

'Are you sure?' he asked timidly, looking at you with a glint of hope. 'I'm not really good at science...'

'That's okay, I'm not really good at playstation,' you told him.

A fat raindrop fell through the branches and the leaves, landing smack dab on your head with a pronounced 'plop'. You reached for your hair, feeling the wet spot and giggling more.

More raindrops fell, slowly turning the sidewalk below into a picture of grey polka dots. Noah followed your gaze, seeing the drops colouring in the concrete.

'I guess it's better than being out here in the rain,' he agreed, finally releasing his knees from his vice grip and stretching out to reach the branch below him to begin his descent. You smiled at him, following his lead and dropping off your branch.

Once you were on solid ground and you had a moment, you looked at him. Shaggy brown hair hung in his warm hazel eyes. A light dusting of freckles covered his nose, and a gentle smile lifted his pink lips. He stood only just taller than you, maybe an inch? An inch and a half at most.

You offered him your hand, leading him down the street towards your house. He walked slowly, letting the raindrops fall on the both of you. Normally, you'd run for home to get out of the rain, but something about him made the rain less intimidating. You felt safe with him the moment you saw him in that tree.

What you didn't know was that he felt safe with you too. A stark contrast to how things were at home. Noah had a strained relationship with his mom, and he never told you just how bad things were, but you knew it was worse than he let on.

He found solace in you and your home. Your mom welcomed him in, knowing exactly who he was and who his mom was. Noah's mom was known around the street, and a few of the parents in the neighbourhood were familiar with Noah's hiding spots. They would all keep a quiet eye on him whenever they saw him near their houses, knowing that someone had to.

When you brought him home to your mom, she didn't question anything. The two of you stood on the front doorstep, dripping and cold, and all your mom did was laugh and find you two the biggest fluffiest towels in the house. She brought you inside and found you a change of clothes, letting Noah have one of your oversized pokemon t-shirts and a pair of your dad's old gym shorts.

Your dad wasn't happy about it, but your mom shut him up. Never in front of you or Noah though. She wouldn't dare fight with your dad in front of the two of you, but you didn't miss the pointed glares she would shoot at him over the dinner table when your dad would make a remark.

Noah became a staple in your house, feeling safer there than at home. You liked having him there too, he was a lot smarter than he let on, and he was funny. Plus, he was really good at the playstation, he could help you beat the tougher levels. He even completed Crash Bandicoot for you when you got stuck on the hog riding level. And yes, he helped you with your science test, and you passed.

Some nights, Noah would sneak in through the dog door in the laundry and creep into your room. The first time he did it, it scared the hell out of you, but you got used to it quickly. Those nights were hard. He would wake you up in tears, but he would never tell you why. And when he did, you would simply scooch over and let him into the bed, rubbing his back while he cried himself to sleep.

Your dad would always ask who left the dog door open. Your mom never admitted it, but there were a few nights that you caught her unlocking it before she went to bed.

You two grew up together. Joined at the hip, you went everywhere together, did everything together...

And then high school happened. The first year was supposed to be exciting, you were meant to be enjoying life and all the perks that came with being high schoolers. Instead, your parents got a divorce.

Noah held you while you cried, fearing that your dad would try and make you move to Topeka with him. He mourned the breaking apart of your family with you, and he kept you distracted by playing video games with you or by hiding in the wishing tree with you.

Your mom gave him a key to the house the day your dad moved out, telling him he didn't need to sneak through the dog door anymore. He hugged your mom, unable to find the words to thank her. She even cleared out your dad's study and turned it into a bedroom for him.

Then came the awkward "talk". Your mom sat you down on the couch one day when Noah wasn't there, telling you that while she understood you two were close, that sex is a big deal and if you're not ready, then you can always tell him no.

She didn't judge, but she taught you all about protection, and asked that you wait until you were sure.

You laughed at her, telling her that there was no way you'd ever have sex with Noah. He was your best friend, and you told her you didn't feel that way about him. She just smirked at you, nodding and saying 'okay.'

But when you went to bed that night, you couldn't help thinking about it. You felt weird as you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling with the images of Noah on top of you flashing through your mind.

Maybe you did feel that way, but you would never dare tell him.

That night, when Noah crept into your room, you comforted him and you felt butterflies as you held him. Silently, you cursed your mother for making you think about him that way, but you didn't let on that anything had changed.

At school, you joined music class with Noah, and he found something in himself. You watched him beam whenever he touched a keyboard or picked up a guitar. Lyrics seemed to flow from him like a fountain. He was magical.

You wished you were as good as him. But through music, he found his friend Nick. Nick was nice, and he hung out with you guys at lunch, but at the end of the day, Noah would come home to you. You tried to like Nick, but you couldn't help that teenage bubble of jealousy as he and Noah bonded over something that you just couldn't do.

And then Noah left. He just stopped coming to school.

The first day, you texted him and asked him where he was. He was blunt, telling you he wasn't coming. You assumed that he was just sick, or skipping for the day. But one day turned into two. Two became three. Three became a week. A week became a month.

After that, you knew to just let him sleep when you got up in the mornings. At least he was still in your room, still with you.

He got a job to fill his days, working at Nick's family's tattoo studio. Noah wasn't the art type, he couldn't really draw, so he never picked up a tattoo gun, but the money wasn't bad. He would bring you little trinkets and gifts sometimes. He even saved up to buy himself a car. It was an absolute piece of shit, but it ran, it got good gas mileage, and it had a stereo.

Then came the nights where you would drive around aimlessly, discovering more and more of Richmond as you belted out the words to any song you knew. Sometimes Nick would come with you, but you liked it better when it was just you and Noah.

He was growing up, and you loved seeing who he was becoming. He was still the awkward introverted boy you knew, but he was blossoming into a musician. Your mom even bought him a guitar one christmas, making him cry. Because he could finally practice again, he found his way into a cover band. You were their number one fan, and your mom was a close second. She cheered him on in any way she could.

You kept going to school though. You didn't have a choice, you weren't good enough at anything to take the creative path. Every day you wished Noah was there, but you did your best without him. Class was harder without him. It had been years of the two of you side by side, Noah helping you to understand the questions that didn't make sense to you. He would even read the questions aloud to you if you needed it. Now, your grades were slipping. You didn't have your support system, and no one else seemed to believe that it was that hard.

He would help with your homework, but it was getting harder. He'd never learned the subject matter, so he could only do so much. You'd let him read your textbooks, but sometimes neither of you understood what the hell the textbooks were talking about.

One night, a particular project had overstressed you. He held you while you cried, running his fingers through your hair while you tried to compose yourself.

'I can't fucking do this,' you choked, your arms around him while he rested his chin on your head. When did he get so tall?

'You can, it's just your brain,' he shushed you, his voice soft and his arms strong as he held you together. 'There's too much going on in there, isn't there?'

'There always is, you know that,' you told him, letting him sit you down on the side of your bed.

'And what do we normally do about it?' he asked gently, holding your hands and squeezing lightly. As he sat in front of you, you found yourself staring at him, your mouth hanging open while you panted through the tears.

He had the beginnings of a sleeve colouring his arm, the ink peeking out under his three-quarter sleeves. A shiny dermal piercing sat in his cheek, glinting under the low light of your bedside lamp. His warm brown hair hung down almost to his chest, always a layered mess.

But his eyes, those warm brown eyes. They were still the eyes of that boy from so many years ago, searching for comfort in yours. Offering you comfort with him. In them, you could see how much your pain hurt him, and how hard he tried to hide it.

'I don't know if can talk about it,' you whimpered, your gaze shifting to his hands. His long, slender fingers, wrapped up in your shorter, pinker ones. His thumb grazed over your knuckle supportively.

'There's nothing you can't tell me,' he said, both gently and firmly. 'What's different now?'

'Everything.'

'Y/N...' he whispered, shuffling closer. His hands ran gingerly up your arms, and you couldn't help flinching. You closed your eyes, holding your breath as heavy tears blurred your vision. You were thankful, you didn't want to see the pain in his eyes as realisation dawned on him.

'Why?' he asked. You knew he knew. It had been a while since you'd done that. You'd been clean since your dad gave up on trying to move you to Topeka. You hadn't needed it...

But school, the projects, the frustration of your brain not working right...

You hadn't felt good enough in a long time. Like something in you was broken. And even though you could normally talk to Noah about these things, Noah had found his people. He found his thing, the thing he was good at. You didn't have that. You were convinced he wouldn't understand anymore.

'I'm not right. I can't do the things everyone else can do,' you whispered. 'My grades are going to shit, and everyone thinks I'm just being lazy, but I just can't fucking do it. No one believes me-' you tell him, crumpling in on yourself as your voice breaks. 'I'm fucking def-fective,' you coughed.

Noah grabbed you, pulling you into his chest and holding you tightly, whispering into your ear.

'You are not defective. You are not lazy, or broken, or any of that bullshit. It's not your fault,' he told you, swaying you back and forth in his grip while he buried his nose in your hair.

'I-' you tried to start, but he shushes you, knowing whatever you were going to say would be negative.

'No, you are the kindest, smartest, most hard-working person I know,' he told you. 'You care so fucking much about other people. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here, that's for sure. It's not your fault that you can't always figure out what the fuck those textbooks say. They're stupid fucking books anyway, written by snooty old guys with nothing better to do than write rules about how numbers should work or brag about how war is great when you win one.'

'Noah-'

'Nope, I'm not done,' he stopped you. 'You don't need to think like them. You think like you, and the way you think is magical. You are so special, and that's what matters. You might not be great at science or math, but you make the most amazing paintings I've ever seen. You write the best stories, and you sing better than half the guys who auditioned for my band. Don't you ever doubt yourself, okay?'

His arms lock tighter around you as his voice hitches in his throat. You nod against him, your arms around his narrow chest. His width had yet to catch up to his height, he was still skinny as anything, but he still gave fantastic hugs.

'I'm sorry-' you try to say, but again, he stops you.

'You. Are. Incredible,' he tells you, punctuating each word as he finds your face and looks at your bloodshot and puffy eyes. 'And you are everything to me, got it? Please, don't ever take yourself away from me like that. I care about you way too much to lose you to that.'

You nod, releasing an arm and wiping your face with your sleeve.

'Y/N,' he breathes, 'I mean it. Please, don't go anywhere.'

Your heart breaks as his firm voice slips, instead pleading with you now.

'I promise,' you tell him, swallowing hard past the lump in your throat. 'I care about you too much to leave you behind.'

'Good.'

Pulling you back into a tight hug, he doesn't tell you that he meant more with those words than you understood. He had for a while. And so had you. Both of you caught in the limbo of what you each thought were unrequited feelings, and neither one of you brave enough to tell the other about the butterflies in your bellies. Neither of you dared to speak the three words that your hearts yearned to say.

I care about you?

No.

I love you.

More than life itself.

Noah made a point to be around a lot more after that night. Sure, he was always around, but he slept in your bed a lot more after that. He watched as your long sleeves became tank tops, always checking to make sure the scars stayed scars.

He even offered to get Nick to tattoo you to cover them up, going as far as asking your mom if she would let you. To your dismay, your mom was against that idea. She let you get away with a lot, but an underage tattoo was toeing the line.

It didn't stop you from getting a tattoo though. It just meant you put it somewhere your mom wouldn't see it. You got Nick to tattoo it on the front of your hip, somewhere even a bikini would cover it.

A little tree, just like the one at the end of the block. Noah held your hand while the needle dragged across your skin, the bony parts hurting the worst. Nick chuckled while you squeezed your eyes shut tight and grimaced at the worst of it.

Finally, senior year rolled around. The best and worst year of your life.

Finally, someone believed you. At school, there was a new counsellor. She recognised something in you that no one else had. You called Noah the second she told you about the letters that changed your life.

ADHD.

That's why you had been struggling so much. That's why things never made sense the first time. Noah celebrated with you when you got home that afternoon, and he went with you to talk to your mom about it.

Your mom was just as excited for you to have an answer, agreeing to help you seek treatment. She couldn't get on the phone to your doctor fast enough. Finally, something made sense. A chance at normalcy...

Noah took you for a drive that night, the two of you sitting in the front seat of the car and screaming along to all the songs on your shared playlist. He drove you out to a lookout and the two of you watched the stars, talking about how different things could be.

He told you about his side project from his cover band, Man Vs Self. He was excited about it, and Nick was getting involved too, and Vincent. You weren't completely familiar with Vincent, but from the few encounters you'd had with him, he seemed nice enough.

He showed you some of the things he was working on for the band, and you had to admit, it was good. Not that you expected any less from him. Noah couldn't make something bad if he tried, it's like it was against his nature.

While you two sat there, you googled everything you could about ADHD, learning more about how your brain worked. A part of you mourned how your life could have been if you had been diagnosed earlier. Things could have been so different, so much easier..

But without the struggle, you never would have found Noah. And you wouldn't change that for the world, and neither would he.

If only things could be so simple forever.

But time marches ever onward, and life goes on.

Noah's band picked up. And after a while, you noticed him withdraw. There was something there, something he didn't want to tell you. Whenever you asked him what was bothering him, he would shy away from the topic, trying to change it quickly.

After a few weeks of pushing, you finally got the answer. He was leaving.

He cried as he told you, telling you he had been seriously considering backing out so he could stay with you. Knowing how much you needed him, it was killing him to choose between making this demo in Jersey or staying with you.

So you chose for him. You told him to go. You told him how much he would hate himself if he didn't try; that if he didn't go for it, he'd never know how far he could go.

You asked him how much time you had left. He told you that you had a month, and that he had no idea what would happen after. For that month, he worked his ass off on that demo, doing everything he could to have it ready to record, but he spent every night with you, promising you that this wasn't goodbye.

The night before he left, the two of you sat in the wishing tree and talked all night. He carved your names into the branches that you'd been sitting on when you met. He held your hand tightly, promising you that he'd come back.

And then he left. You and your mom stood on the driveway, sending him off with a bag of snacks and the tightest hug the two of you had ever shared before your mom came in with a group hug. She told Noah that she was proud of him, a phrase that brought tears to his eyes.

As he drove away in that cramped car, your mom kept her arm around you. The pair of you waved goodbye, watching him disappear down the road. You were thankful he didn't see the tears in your eyes as he disappeared around the corner.

Your mom held you together while you cried for most of the day. And that night, you snuck down to the wishing tree. You scaled its branches, climbing to the high branch that you sat on the day you met Noah and pulling your knees into your chest.

Silently, you whispered to the universe, making yet another wish.

You wished for his success, for him to be brave, and to push through anything this industry could throw at him. But most of all, you wished for him to come back.

Weeks passed, and the end of the school year drew closer. Promposals were exchanged at school, but no one asked you. Your friends all had dates, while you debated if you even wanted to go.

You told Noah as much on one of your nightly calls. You had fallen into a rhythm with him, waiting for him to call you when he was going to bed. Sometimes you had to call him, now that you had a job to fill your time.

It wasn't much, just stacking shelves at the local record store, but it paid better than fast food or waiting tables did.

As prom drew closer, you found Noah egging you to go. He even dared you once. You knew you couldn't say no to a dare, and your mom was more than willing to take you dress shopping.

She found you a beautiful dress, and it cost a small fortune, but she was adamant that you needed to go. Something about a 'rite of passage for a young woman' and 'regretting if you don't go.'

So you did. You went to prom, alone, in your beautiful forest green dress. The colour of the leaves on the wishing tree. And you hated every second of it. You stood in the back of the room, watching all the couples slow dancing while you sipped at a plastic cup of spiked punch.

Until a hand graced your arm.

'Care to dance?' he asked you. You turned, hope blooming in your chest.

But it wasn't him. It was someone else, Jacob? Joshua? You never learned this guy's name. He was a theatre kid with cropped black hair and too-tight skinny jeans. Sure, he was nice, but it wasn't Noah.

So you shook your head.

'Thanks, but I'm good. I was thinking I might head off.'

He just nodded at you, wandering off in search of a different dance partner.

And you did. You left, wandering out of the school gym and through the halls. You didn't cry, even though you really wanted to. You kicked your heels off and scooped them up as you walked through the quiet halls, the music echoing behind you as it seemed to taunt you.

Outside, the cool night air sunk into your skin, a welcome change from the stuffy air of the gym.

You were about to shortcut across the grass to get to the parking lot where you had parked the car. Your mom had loaned you hers for the evening, and you figured if she thought you were out for the night, she wouldn't mind if you went for a drive, as long as you put gas in it before returning it.

A car came careening into the lot as you stepped onto the wet lawn, grass sticking to your bare feet as you moved. The car came to a stop, and the engine silenced. His voice rang out across the parking lot, your head snapping over to him the moment you heard it.

Noah.

He slammed the car door, running over to you as fast as he could. Your heart stopped as you looked at him. He was dressed in a white button down with the sleeves rolled up, a black vest, and a skinny tie hanging from his neck.

You grinned, tears pricking at your eyes as you ran at him, throwing your shoes on the ground. You threw your arms around him and sank into his grip, feeling him hold you like his life depended on it.

'Were you leaving?' he asked as he squeezed you tightly, a hint of a laugh in his voice.

'I didn't have anyone to dance with,' you told him with a shrug. 'Plus, it's kinda crap in there, the music isn't even that good. You came a long way for nothing,' you joked.

'Definitely not nothing,' he told you, pulling back and looking down at you. You missed his eyes, and the way he smiled at you. Your heart fluttered as he grinned down at you.

'Oh?' you asked him, 'so what really made you come back? If the renowned draw of prom night sex wasn't the reason, it must be really good.'

He smirked as you teased him.

'Well, there's this girl I really like, and while I was gone the guys told me I should really talk to her and tell her how I feel about her. They had a point, so I was kind of hoping you could help me out with that?' He asked nervously.

You could feel his hands trembling as he laced his fingers with yours. You didn't dare let your smile falter. He couldn't know how much your heart was breaking at the idea of there being someone else.

'I mean, I can... but you've gotta tell me who she is before I can help,' you said, trying to keep that teasing tone in your voice.

Noah shook his head, chewing the inside of his lip nervously.

'She's probably the kindest, sweetest, funniest girl I've ever met. Y/N, I think I'm in love with her, I've just been too scared to tell her because I didn't want to lose her.'

'Noah-' you breathed, stepping back. You wanted so desperately to be right, but you needed to hear it from him. You watched as he took a deep breath, locking his eyes on yours.

'I love you, Y/N. So much.' he finally said, pulling you back to him and lifting his hand to your cheek. Your breath hitched in your throat at his touch.

All those nights of picturing what it could be like, the tingles at his touch, the thoughts you had tried to squash, it all came flooding forward. There was no denying it now. You were desperately in love with him too, and you didn't need to hide it anymore. The butterflies were free, no longer being squashed down and digested. You felt like you could float as he drew nearer.

Your breath quickened, your hand running up his chest and resting over his heart. You could feel it hammering beneath your fingers as you smiled up at him. In his eyes, you could see his fear while he hung on every breath, waiting for your answer.

'I love you, Noah. You have no idea how much I love you.'

A relieved laugh left his lips, and he leaned in. His lips brushed yours. At first it was tender, learning how you felt, how you kissed. After a moment, the kiss became confident, your arm wrapped around his neck while his hand rested on your lower back, holding you to him.

His taste intoxicated you, and in seconds he became the addiction you knew you would never be able to break. He felt the same. He knew he would never be the same, in that moment you became his air.

A hissing sound broke you apart, and the pair of you looked around. You were still alone, and there were no obvious signs of where the noise was coming from.

Until the sprinklers started, the cold mist spraying over both of you. You squealed, jumping in his grip and feeling him pull you in tight against his chest as the two of you cried out.

He was the first to laugh, and you followed close behind. You had met in the rain, it was only right that you confessed your love for each other the same way, even if the rain wasn't real.

'My shoes!' you cried out, looking behind you to where your heels glinted under the haze of mist.

'I got it!' he told you, releasing you and running through the brunt of the spray. You couldn't help but laugh as his hair deflated while he scrambled across the slick grass, grabbing for the shoes.

He scooped them up and turned to run back to you, but you had other plans. Instead, as he turned, he crashed into your drenched form and his arms wrapped around you again.

Your lips crashed to his, putting all the feeling you had been holding back for years into the kiss. He kissed you just as passionately, and both of you giggled as the water soaked you both to the bone.

'When I said you're everything to me, I meant it,' he told you, his forehead resting on yours as he smiled at you.

'I wish I had said something before you left,' you said, letting him sway you gently.

'So do I. But, we're here now, and that's all that matters.'

'We should probably go and clean ourselves up though. My mom will kill me if I catch a cold from running around in the sprinklers.'

Noah chuckled, kissing you again before finally releasing you. He took your hand, leading you through the water and over to the car.

'I'll meet you at home? I have to take mom's car back.'

'Okay, but after that, I have somewhere I wanna take you, if you're up for it?'

You agreed, parting with a kiss and practically floating back to your mom's car.

The drive home was agonising, and the lights were all off when you got there. Your mom had gone to bed, expecting you to be out late. You entered the house quietly, tiptoeing across the tiles.

You left the keys on the kitchen counter, grabbing a change of clothes from a basket in the laundry and the two towels from all those years ago. They didn't seem as big or as fluffy anymore, but your mom had embroidered your names into them for you. She knew an origin story when she saw one, and she was sentimental, so naturally, she took it upon herself to hold onto memories for you.

You met Noah outside, clambering into his car and handing him the towel. He grinned like a little kid when he saw it, remembering everything with you.

He wrapped the towel around his shoulders before setting off. The whole drive, all you did was talk. He told you about the demo, you told him about work and school, everything felt so normal. Normal, except for the buzz of adrenaline in the pit of your stomach, the cool rush that you felt every time he took your hand in his, kissing your knuckles.

After a while, he pulled into the parking lot of a hotel, grinning as he turned the car off.

'I figured that most people have some kind of after-party, why shouldn't we have our own?' He said, a sheepish grin on his face.

You laughed, shaking your head at him. He lead you from the car and through the hotel, the two of you looking dreadfully out of place in the gilded lobby in your drenched clothes and fuzzy towels. The concierge even giggled quietly as she watched you get in the elevator.

The room itself was fancier than any hotel you'd ever stayed in, and you wondered how he paid for it. You didn't ask, deciding to just enjoy it. As soon as the door closed, Noah tugged you close to him again, gazing down into his eyes with the sweetest smile on his face. If he kept looking at you like that, you knew you could die happy.

'Say it again?' You asked him quietly, your lips hovering just in front of his.

With a soft chuckle, he happily obliged. 'I love you, Y/N.'

'I love you,' you whispered, letting the space between you disappear again.

He was gentle when he stripped the dress off of you, draping it over a chair to let it dry. You were just as gentle about unbuttoning his vest and his shirt. Together you found your way to the shower, letting the warm water erase the chill from your bones.

Being naked in front of him felt strange, but his tender kisses made it easier. For a while, you stood under the water, wrapped in his embrace. Your head tucked perfectly under his chin, and every now and again he would nose into your hair, leaving feather-light kisses on the skin of your neck. If the water hadn't gone cold, you might have stayed there forever.

He wrapped you in your towel before finding his own. Your heart pounded as you watched him, looking over his growing collection of tattoos and the scars on his back. He caught you watching, and stepped closer to you with a look in his eye.

He reached for you, his fingers running over the scars on your bicep. Together, you were beautifully broken, and together you could build a whole new type of perfect. As you stepped into his embrace, you felt safe. You felt loved. You felt whole.

You were the one who lead him to the bedroom.

He was just as nervous, and both of you giggled as the towels came off. Neither of you had done this before, but it felt right to be doing it with each other.

You paid heed to your mother's warning, thankful to be on the pill, and you were sure you were ready.

He laid you down on the bed, and Noah positioned himself between your legs, slowly pushing himself into you, groaning as he felt your body accept him.

You breathed through the feeling, a sting burning through you as he froze in place and waited for your signal.

'You okay?' He asked as he saw your face screw up in discomfort.

'Mhmm,' you hummed, 'just getting used to it.'

'For what it's worth, you feel so much better than I ever imagined,' he breathed, kissing your collarbone and up your neck. His words reverberated through you, making you clench around him.

He smirked, taking your face in his hand. 'You like dirty talk?' He asked, surprised and fascinated to learn about what turned you on.

'A little,' you admitted as you held his bicep.

'So if I said something like...' he smirked, dipping low and hovering his lips just next to your ear, his voice barely a whisper, 'you're mine. Only mine. This pussy? It's mine, and I won't stop until you're out of breath and the neighbours know my name.'

He grinned, sucking in a sharp breath and feeling your muscles contract around him, lusciously squeezing him.

'You're so tight, baby, and so wet. Is this all because of me?'

You couldn't help the soft moan as he spoke, beginning to roll his hips against you. The feeling was heavenly despite the stretching feeling. You'd been warned that the first time could hurt, and it was easily bearable.

'Noah,' you whimpered, running your fingers across his skin.

'Does it feel good, baby? God, you feel so good,' he continued, rutting into you slowly. His thrusts were firm, exploring deeper than you'd ever been able to with your fingers.

You dragged his face back to yours, kissing him deeply. Noah happily followed your lead, letting you swipe your tongue over his as you moaned into his mouth.

'Fuck,' you hissed, your back arching. You wanted more, but you were too scared to show him what you needed. You didn't want him to feel inadequate, or think he was doing something wrong, but your clitoris screamed for attention. Your hand kept inching lower, but you couldn't help the anxiety in your stomach.

'Tell me, baby,' he purred, always able to read you. 'Show me.' He took your hand, guiding it between your bodies and resting his fingers atop yours.

You began to draw timid circles over the little nub, feeling Noah trace your movements to learn how you liked it.

You whined his name, and you felt his dick twitch inside you.

'Noah, please,' you begged, 'I think I'm close.'

'Me too, Y/N,' he panted, his cheeks red and his forehead slick with sweat. 'I want to watch you come. I wanna see how good I can be to you.'

The tingles started small, but the more you circled your clitoris, the stronger it became. Whines and groans left your lips, Noah mirroring the sounds.

His gasps were almost enough to have you, but what broke you was the way he said your name. His breathy cries for you as he sped up and reached his peak, sighing and closing his eyes while your body tensed around his.

He emptied himself into you, and you eked it out of him. You'd heard that it was rare to experience an orgasm during your first time, let alone a mutual one, but it happened, and it was so much better than using your fingers.

Noah laid on top of you, breathless. His eyes fluttered closed while he gasped for air, his panting tickling your nipple as he laid his head on your chest.

'I love you,' he told you between deep lungfuls of air.

'I love you,' you repeated, grinning and exhausted, running your fingers through his still wet hair.

If only that night could have lasted forever.

Fate was cruel like that. Fate, and Sumerian Records.

Man vs Self, then called CHLDRN got signed, becoming Bad Omens... You were ecstatic, celebrating with him and Nick and Vincent. Part of you was less thrilled, knowing this meant he would be gone again.

He promised you it wouldn't be for long, only a few weeks at a time. You believed him. But weeks didn't stay weeks.

Weeks became months, and months became moving to LA.

He promised you that he would come home and visit. He swore to you that he would pay to fly you out and you could stay with him. He would text you every day and call you every night, telling you how much he missed you and how much he loved you.

No matter how much you wanted it to be, nightly phone calls and texting weren't enough. Every time it rained, your heart ached for him. You missed his touch, his embrace.

And then the contact started to wane. You would lie awake, waiting for him to call or text you after a show, and some nights he would, but those nights grew further apart.

You would text him first, and you'd be left with no answer.

Your mom watched your heart break in real time. She understood the pain, and she missed Noah too. She felt like she had lost her son. She did all she could to help you cope, but you just felt hollow, like barely a shell of yourself.

Every now and again you would hear from him, and it would tear open that wound again. Finally, you had to call it what it was.

Dead.

You called him, knowing that this phone call would be the hardest call you'd ever had to make. You told him that no matter how much you loved him, you couldn't handle the heartache. His home wasn't with you anymore, and you couldn't have a home with him. Not right now.

He begged you to reconsider. He told you he'd throw it all away for you. You told him he was being stupid, and that he would never throw it all away, and if he did, he'd miss it too much. He'd regret it. Sure, the words sounded pretty, but he would never be able to walk away. Not fully. Nor would you ever want him to.

You told him that he was too talented and too good to walk away. He needed to stick with the band. So he did. And he hated it for a while. He wrote songs about how much he hated it, but none of those ever made the albums.

Well, one did.

It was embellished, sure, but you knew which lines were about you. And you hoped against hope that no matter how much he wanted to, that he wasn't watching you from afar. You knew his heart couldn't take that strain. He'd already been through so much. He needed to move on and live for himself now.

You found yourself in the tree one night, wishing he would be okay. You never wished for yourself anymore, but any wish you could make for him, he had it. Success, stability, love, you wanted it all for him. You could make do on your own.

So you did. It killed you when his name came up on your socials, seeing the articles about the band, and about him. You missed him more than anything. But you forced yourself to continue on with your life. The ADHD medication made it easier to function, so when you decided to go to university, you managed it a lot easier than you thought you would.

There were still nights that you wished he was there to read the questions to you. Or nights that you broke down in tears because the pressure was too much. Every time you reached the end of that rope, you remembered your promise to him, and you stepped away from the medicine cabinet.

Noah came to town once. His long hair had been cropped short, and his once spindly build had filled out. You thought about going to the show, but you couldn't bring yourself to go. Your mom even asked if you should go together, but you told her that if you did you'd only have to start the healing process over again. She was understanding, but you knew she wanted to go. She missed him too, after all.

More time passed, whizzing by in a blur of study, work, and long nights. Your mom watched your heart heal and break again every time his name was mentioned on the radio or in a news article.

One night, she sat you down on the couch like she had that night she gave you the "talk". Her skin had begun to sag, and her hair was greying, but you still saw the same look in her eye. That knowing look, the one that knew all your secrets.

'Y/N, honey, you've got to do something. You're not getting over him,' she told you. 'It's been almost two years.'

'I know,' you told her pathetically, curling into her side like a child. She rubbed your arm, comforting you.

'I have an idea that I wanted to run by you,' she said, her tone soft and warm. 'I'm almost ready to retire, and I think I want to retire somewhere sunny. I like the rain, but I'm ready for something new...'

You looked at her, an eyebrow cocked as you caught that mischeivous smirk on her lips.

'Mom...' you said slowly.

'I found a nice house, and with what this place is worth, we could easily afford it if we sell. You're almost finished with school, and there's plenty of job options for you-'

'And you want to move to LA?' you asked her incredulously, sitting up and searching her face for a hint of a joke. You found none. She was completely serious. 'Mom, this isn't some small move down the street, you're talking about moving across the country.'

She nodded, laughing at you. 'I know, sweetheart. But I mean it. I want something new, I've lived in this house for too long. I know it's your home, but once upon a time, it was mine and your father's. We bought it shortly after we got married, and there are days that I still expect to see him sitting on the couch when I get home from work. I still feel like he's here, even though he's been gone for so long. I need to move on from him, and I don't think I can do that here.'

You chewed your lip, looking at your hands. Sometimes it was easy to forget that your mom was a person too. She had her own life, her own story, her own feelings. It had been a long time since your dad left, and it was easy enough to forget that your mom had spent nearly twenty years with him. He was her Noah. Sure, in the end, he turned out to be an uncaring ass, but there had to be something there that she'd loved in the start, and now she couldn't let go of it. Just like you couldn't let go of Noah.

'Okay,' you told her. 'Show me this house?'

She did. She showed you the house, and it was perfect. A quaint little three bedroom townhouse in a quiet community, a thirty minute drive from the city. You fell in love with it the minute you saw it.

Things moved quickly after that night. Your mom put the house on the market, and when you weren't working or studying, you were packing. You found so many memories as you boxed up everything you owned. It didn't take long for the house to sell. It wasn't until the sold sign adorned your front yard that it finally sank in.

You were saying goodbye to your childhood.

The place looked strange without all your things in it. You remembered all of the nights you spent with Noah in your room, whispering about stupid things to make each other laugh. You remembered the sound of his guitar drifting from the room that was once his, even though he almost never slept in there. You had to patch the hole in the wall from when you had tried to slide down the hall in your socks and you slipped, coming crashing down through the plaster.

You remembered sitting around the dinner table, telling your dad about the picture you had drawn at school that day. Or showing off how much better your grades had gotten since Noah started to help you with your homework.

Most painful of all, you had to say goodbye to the tree.

For old times sake, you hauled yourself up into its branches, searching for the carving of your names on the trunk. You had labelled your branches, but after the night in the hotel, Noah joined your names in a heart on the trunk where the two branches met.

For the last time, you made a wish. You weren't sure you believed in it anymore, but that childish wonder in your heart refused to let go of the possibility. You whispered your wish, letting it go with the wind that rustled the leaves.

And then the frenzy began. The movers took all the boxes, packing them into a huge truck with all your furniture, and you got in the car. You told your mom to fly ahead, not wanting her to drive across the country. She was too easily worn out for such an adventure, and there was too much to do, you needed her to save her energy for unpacking and setting up.

So you drove across the country alone, just you and your mom's car. You sold the beater you had bought with your money from the record store. It wasn't going to make the trip, and you could find something better when you had a new job.

You stopped at motels, sleeping more fitfully the closer you got to LA. Your mind spun with possibilities. What would you do? Would you call him? Text him? Would you even reach out?

What if he had a new girlfriend? What if he hated you for ending things? What if he wasn't your Noah anymore?

Each night you tossed and turned, and each day you tried desperately to drown out the noise in your mind with music and podcasts. Finally, after nearly a week of non-stop driving and gas station sandwiches, you reached the exit for Los Angeles. Your new home.

You followed the GPS to your new house, seeing your mom outside with the moving truck. She was helping to take boxes into the house, even though the movers brought the couch in first for her to sit down. She insisted on helping, but that was what your mom was like.

You parked on the street, getting out of the car and stretching your weary legs. Who would have thought sitting still for so long would be so exhausting. The sun had started to dip in the sky, bathing the street in a warm golden glow. You took in your new surroundings for a moment, noting the difference in the smell of the air, the warm breeze, and the lack of trees. There were only a few trees in the street, most of them small. One house had a large tree in the front yard, and it reminded you of the wishing tree. Smiling to yourself, you were glad something felt like home.

Your mom had told the movers to put your bed in first, which you were thankful for. You made your way to your new room, stretching out on the unmade mattress and letting your spine decompress for a little while.

It took a couple of weeks to set up the house how you wanted it, and it took a few more weeks to find a job, but soon enough, you were an official LA working girl. You had a desk job, you paid stupid amounts of money to park fifteen minutes away from your office, and you thrived on coffee, but you were doing it. You were living.

You still hadn't called him. You wanted to, but fear got the better of you every time you typed in his number. Your thumb would hover over the green button for stupid amounts of time, and then you would lock your phone and put it down.

You never thought it would go the way it did.

You came home from work one cloudy afternoon, climbing out of your mom's car and heading to the mailbox. A cool breeze nipped at your arms while you sifted through the mail. While you sorted the bills from the junk, a large black pickup pulled into the street. It was the first time you had seen it move since you moved in. For the last month it had been stationary on a driveway a few doors down.

It crawled past your house, slowing down as it passed by. For a moment, you tensed, ready to run or fight, whatever you needed to do, but then it moved on. It rolled into the driveway you had become accustomed to seeing it at, the house with the large tree in the front yard.

The loud rumble of the engine ceased, and as you were about to turn and head inside, a voice called out to you.

'Y/N!?' the deep voice bellowed, echoing down the street.

You froze.

His footsteps approached, his sneakers pouding against the asphalt as he crossed the street and stepped closer.

'Y/N...' he breathed, stopping a few feet away from you.

You looked up at him with your heart in your throat. His hair was still short, but it had grown out since you last saw him. A hint of stubble graced his chin and his lip, making him look so much more grown up than the weedy little teenager you remembered from prom. And his muscles...

He truly was a man now.

'Noah,' you whispered, your voice gone as you stared at him in disbelief.

He seemed to be having the same problem, stammering as he inched closer to you. 'You're... you're here?' he asked, his tone bewildered, asking the how and why without the need to say them.

'Mom retired, she wanted to get away from the memories of dad,' you told him with a shrug. You could barely bring yourself to meet his eye. Your throat tightened as you got a glimpse of the warm brown that you had missed so much. 'She missed you too, I think that's why she came here.'

'I miss her too,' he said sadly, 'she was the only parent I really had.'

Bit by bit, he stepped closer, closing the distance between you.

'I'm sure she'd love to see you,' you offered quietly, 'if you're not busy?'

'I don't think I'm busy,' he told you, smirking. Your stomach backflipped, and your fingers itched to know his skin again.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. You knew you needed to rip the band-aid off and just say it.

As you finally blurted out the words, his voice melded with yours.

'I missed you,' you both said.

Pausing, you looked at each other. You finally met his eyes. In that warm gaze, you saw all the love you had seen when you were young. All the longing that you felt was mirrored in him. His cheeks flushed, and you became aware of the heat in your own face as the pair of you laughed.

'I'm sorry,' you told him, taking a step closer to him. He was within reach now, you could have easily brushed his hair from his eyes, or taken his hand.

'For what?' he asked, closing the distance further.

'For ending things. I thought it hurt to miss you when I had you, and then I didn't anymore... I've never felt so alone... I should have just waited-'

'No, Y/N, you did what you needed to. And it would have only gotten worse from there anyway. We didn't get a break for years. With or without you, I never would have seen you.'

He lifted his hand to rest on the bare skin of your arm, admiring the tattoo that covered the scars on your bicep. Your body tingled under his touch, your resolve weakening.

'I'm glad to see that chapter is closed,' he said softly. 'It is, right?'

'Yeah,' you assured him. 'I got close a few times, but I remembered what I promised you and I just couldn't.'

'Good,' he breathed.

You were so close now, his head tilted down to look at you, and you could almost feel his breath on your skin. A cool breeze blew over you, making you shiver. The sound of thunder rolled across the sky, and you couldn't help but laugh as a heavy raindrop smacked on his head, making him flinch.

'Why is it that every time we find each other, it rains?' you mused, grinning up at him.

'Or there's sprinklers?' He added with a smirk.

As the rain fell in slow, fat drops dotting the sidewalk, you felt your heart twist. His hand moved, raising to your cheek. Your eyes welled up, too many emotions filling you.

'I never stopped loving you,' he told you. 'I missed you, and I thought about you every single day.'

'So did I,' you admitted. 'I couldn't stop.'

'And now, here you are...' he said.

'Here we are.'

His lips finally touched yours, and thunder cracked overhead. The sky opened, the rain falling faster, masking the tears on your cheeks as you melted into him. In a matter of moments you were drenched, but you didn't care.

'Never let me go again,' he begged you between heated kisses.

'Never.'

Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding him to you. Your hearts pounded against each other's as your chests pressed together. There wasn't enough of him, you needed everything he could give you. You wanted to wrap yourself in him and never let go.

When the thunder seemed to be overhead, he released you, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the front doorstep of your house. His beautiful smile set something in you alight, a fire you thought you had lost a long time ago.

He rang the doorbell, holding you close to his side, his fingers laced tight in yours. After a moment, your mom appeared at the door with a broad grin and the two towels in her hands.

'It's about time,' she said, handing the large fluffy towels over to you, ensuring you each had the towel with your own name embroidered on it.

'You were watching out the window, weren't you?' you asked her with a laugh.

'You were taking forever to get the mail, I was curious,' she told you innocently, 'but Noah? It is so good to see you, honey.'

She opened her arms to him, asking him for a hug. Noah hesitated for a moment, looking down at his sopping clothes.

'Honey, it's water, get over here,' your mom demanded, pulling him into a tight hug. Noah grinned, revelling in her hug. He was home. You could see it on his face, tears pricking at his eyes as he squeezed her tight. He was finally home.

Noah stayed the night with you, having missed your mom's home-cooked meals and sharing a bed with you. He texted his housemates, telling them that he would be with you. Nick was excited to hear that you had moved out to LA, and you had to promise that the three of you would hang out together soon, but for the moment, all you wanted was Noah.

You spent the night tangled up in him, your legs entwined while he cradled you close to his chest. Every now and then he would kiss you wherever he could reach, often on the forehead or on your lips.

You giggled together in the dark, listening to the storm outside and reminiscing on all the nights you'd spent huddled under the covers back in Richmond.

'I love you,' he whispered to you as you both drifted closer to sleep.

'I love you too,' you told him, brushing your fingers across his cheek and smiling tiredly.

In the morning, your mom handed him a key as you sat down at the table with your coffee. She told him that he always had a home with the two of you. He tried to hide it, but you saw him getting misty eyed as he hugged your mom.

You had to leave for work, but Noah was free to sit and catch up with your mom. You left them together, smiling at the scene as you said your goodbyes.

Noah rushed after you, chasing you to the car with a smitten grin.

'Hey,' he called out, holding the car door open, 'you forgot something.'

'Oh?' you asked, raising an eyebrow.

He leaned into the car and kissed you, not caring that some of your lipstick was on his face now.

'I love you,' he said with a smile, 'okay, now you can go.'

This became a routine. As long as he was in town, the two of you shared a bed. Sometimes you slept in his, but most of the time you slept in yours. He would kiss you goodbye every morning as you left for work, and if he wasn't in town he would send you some kind of message.

The distance became bearable now that he would always come home. You missed him while he was on tour, but at least he would end up back with you at the end of it all instead of on the other side of the country.

It took some getting used to, but you adjusted.

Months passed, and there came a day when you were both free. He was excited, wanting to take you out somewhere, just the two of you. You agreed, seeing him so happy there was no way you could tell him no.

In his black pickup, you drove to the outskirts of town. He wouldn't tell you where you were going. You let him lead the way, trusting him.

He pulled up and parked the car, finally letting you see where you were. He'd taken you to a forest trail. For a minute, you didn't understand, but you let him guide you. He lead you down the trail and to a little clearing where you saw it.

A tree, just like the wishing tree back home.

You couldn't hide the smile on your face. He raced with you to the tree, both of you dragging yourself up through the unfamiliar limbs and branches. Noah had to help you a few times, pulling you up to a higher branch that you could sit on together.

And as you sat, you found yourselves grinning like little kids.

'I figured a little bit of home was a good thing,' he told you, taking your hand. 'But my home is wherever you are.'

'Noah,' you giggled, leaning into him and shoving him gently with your shoulder.

'I'm serious!' he told you, his eyes crinkling with his laughter. You loved the sound, never tiring of his voice. He could read a dictionary out loud and you would listen to him happily.

'How did you even find this?' you asked him, letting him hold you steady on the branch.

'I used to go hiking during quarantine. It was all I was allowed to do, and it got me out of the house for a while.'

You nodded in understanding. Those years had been insane.

'But, there's a reason I wanted to bring you here,' he said nervously. You shifted, turning to face him and swinging your leg over the branch to straddle it. Noah mimicked your movements, your knees touching each other's as he took your hands in the space between you.

You searched his face, seeing a hint of fear in his eyes. Your throat wanted to close at the sight, but you forced yourself to breath through it, squeezing his hands reassuringly.

'I know it hasn't been long since we found each other again, but I don't ever want to lose you again,' he said, sucking in a deep, shaky breath. 'I wish I had told you earlier than I did, I wish we could have spent more time like this. I loved you before I knew what it meant to love someone. You helped me when no one would, and you never wanted anything from me but a friend. I don't know where I'd be without you, but I wouldn't be here.'

As he spoke, your eyes began to water. Your fingers tangled tighter into his, your heart twisting in your chest.

'I don't want us to ever go through what we went through ever again. I want to always be with you, to look after you. I want to kiss you good morning every day, and I want to be the last thing you see when you go to sleep. I want to bring you coffee, and read your books to you, and run through sprinklers with you. My world starts and ends with you, and I want to be there while you build your world into whatever you want it to be. And I hope that whatever that is, it includes me...'

He released your hand, sliding his fingers into his pocket and retrieving something. A deep red velvet box. He opened it and turned it to you, holding it carefully in the palm of his hand.

'Y/N, I love you, more than anything. I wanted to do this in our tree, but this is the closest I could get us,' he chuckled, smiling nervously and looking at the box in his hand. The ring glittered under the light spilling through the canopy of leaves above you. 'Marry me? Please?'

You couldn't find words. Your body was a cacophony of emotion, tears spilling down your cheeks while your heart pounded in your chest.

'Noah,' you whispered, testing your voice. You could see how nervous he was, and you wanted to put him out of his misery. You nodded, smiling back at him. 'Absolutely. I will absolutely marry you.'

He couldn't get the ring on your finger fast enough. He couldn't kiss you hard enough, or hold you close enough. The pair of you were an emotional wreck, smiling and laughing while tears spilled down both of your cheeks.

Before you left the tree, Noah carved your names into the branch, scrawling a date under it. He helped you get down, and he caught you as you lowered yourself from the last branch, spinning you in a circle and kissing you fiercely.

'I love you,' he said, 'and I'm gonna say it until you hate it.'

'I could never hate it,' you told him, your arms tight around his neck.

When you got home, your mom was thrilled. She couldn't be more excited, demanding to see the ring and telling Noah it was about time. She immediately launched into wedding planning, promising to finance whatever you needed. She was overjoyed to have Noah be a part of the family on paper.

She helped you over the next few months while you picked dates and guests and everything there is to do with a wedding. You debated on inviting your father, but decided against it. He had never been warm to Noah, he didn't need to be a part of this celebration.

Noah had to travel a little bit while all this was happening, but it gave you plenty of chances to find a dress. And he would call every night wanting to know what you and your mom had found or planned.

You weren't sure who was more excited, you or Noah.

And as the days passed, the day finally came.

You walked down the aisle with your mom, surrounded by friends and family, but the only person who mattered to you waited at the end of the aisle with the biggest smile on his face and a glimmer in his warm brown eyes.

He took your hand and held it tight, silently swearing to never let it go. You swore the same. It had always been the two of you (and your mom) against the world, but now you got to declare it in front of everyone.

What you weren't prepared for were Noah's vows.

'Y/N,' he began, 'our history has been a long road of ups and downs. We've known each other longer than I've known anyone else. And I can't think of anyone else I'd rather take on the world with. You have always been my rock, my biggest supporter, and my best friend. You came into my life when I needed someone like you, and I know I was mean to you, but I was embarrassed.

'I was embarrassed because I had seen you in that tree making wishes. I wondered if maybe it was magic, because it always seemed to work for you. I never told you what I wished for that day, but I think by now you've earned the right to know.' He paused, squeezing your fingers and lifting them to his lips, his eyes glistening with tears as he cleared his throat. 'I wished for someone to love me. And not a minute later, there you were, wanting to wish for a pass on your science test. But you offered to wish for something for me, caring about me from the minute we met. I got my wish.'

'But, as I got older, I learned something. The tree wasn't where the magic came from,' he said, smiling at you, losing himself in your gaze. 'The magic was you. You granted every single wish, one way or another. You pushed me to be better, to succeed. You gave me everything you could. You protected me when I couldn't protect myself, you gave me a home when I had nothing, and you loved me when I couldn't love myself. So here I am, vowing to you, that I will always, always, protect you. I will love you when you can't, and I will give you everything I can, and I will always be your home. I vow to keep your magic alive, and to grant every wish for you that I possibly can, because you gave me all of mine.'

You knew he was good with words, but he had you there. By the end of his speech, you were a mess of tears, your own vows forgotten. You wanted nothing more than to throw yourself at him and never let him go.

When you were finally pronounced man and wife, you met Noah with the deepest kiss you could, pressing your body into his and wanting to hold your breath forever so you could stay locked in his lips.

Your guests cheered and wolf-whistled, and Noah dipped you, giving them a show. When the need for air overcame you, you grinned up at him, hanging on to him tightly.

'I've got you,' he assured you.

'And I've got you,' you smiled back up at him.

He spun you back onto your feet, holding you to him as you left the ceremony together. You had to go and take pictures, but you really just wanted a moment alone together.

You lead Noah to the room where you had been getting ready before the ceremony started, closing the door.

'Are you okay?' he asked you, taking your hand. You nodded, thumbing over the band that adorned his left hand now.

'Yeah,' you told him, swallowing hard. 'You just blindsided me a little.'

'I'm sorry-'

'Don't be. Noah, I am so sorry for what you went through, but also I am so thankful that out of all the places it could have lead you, it lead you to me. And I am so thankful that I get to be the one to love you.'

'So am I,' he told you, stepping closer until your chests pressed together. 'I meant it, you're everything to me.'

'And you're everything to me.'

The reception was filled with celebration, jokes, cheering, speeches, and some very unfortunate dancing. And naturally, at the end of the night, LA was subjected to a massive thunderstorm. Your guests hid inside, but you and Noah ran out into the rain, knowing you couldn't break tradition now. The pictures ended up immortalised in your photo album, displayed on the mantle in the house the two of you bought shortly after your honeymoon.

You got lucky, you managed to find a house just a few blocks from your mom. The house had a big yard, but it was missing something...

Noah came home from a tour with the answer a few months after you had settled in.

'I don't know if this is legal, and I have no idea how to do it, but we're gonna try,' he told you, opening a secure compartment in his suitcase and presenting you with a box.

It was an old amazon prime box, about as big as a shoebox, but as thick as a matchbox. You shot him a look, raising an eyebrow.

'Just open it,' he told you, rolling his eyes.

So you did.

A bundle of branches sat in the box, wrapped in wet paper towel.

'You went to Richmond?' you asked. He nodded.

'I did, and I brought some of the wishing tree home. If we do it right, we can have our own wishing tree, right here in our yard. It will take years to grow, but I can't see a reason not to.'

You smiled, shaking your head and placing the branches on the table.

'I love you,' you told him, looping your arms around his neck and kissing him.

'I love you more.'

Together, you propagated the branches, and you successfully planted a tree. And over the years, as that tree grew, the two of you grew. Your love grew, your family grew, your happiness grew. And one day, you and Noah will get to tell your daughter all about the wishing tree, and take her back to your wishing tree.

But for now, you and Noah get to watch her, seeing the magic you made together grow.

The fog from her breath was whisked away in the cool night air. Temperatures plummeted as winter began to settle on LA, bringing a cold snap with it.

Y/N tried to breathe quietly, but she had been running for so long that her lungs were burning. Even though she couldn't tell where they were, she was sure the men were still following her.

The night had gone very wrong, very fast. Against her better judgement, Y/N had counted on public transport to get home. This late at night, and in this part of town, she should have known better.

She had been answering a text when one of them grabbed her shirt, the other grabbing at her waist. Her hands stung from the scrapes and her ribs burned. She had been thrown forward onto the harsh concrete, and she scrambled away from the two men before taking off down the road.

The men chased her from the bus stop, following her down side streets and alleys. Now she was crouched behind a car, trying to hold her breath and listen to figure out where they were. A small puddle of blood formed on the concrete, but she had no time to assess where she was bleeding from.

Y/N could hear their heavy footsteps nearby. They were searching for her, calling out unintelligible sounds and taunting her. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle the sound of her panting.

Her heart thundered in her chest and every tiny sound felt too loud. She was almost sure they could hear her blood pumping through her veins.

With trembling hands, she slipped her phone out of her pocket. The screen was badly smashed, and as she tried to wake the device she was greeted with a frazzled mess of pixels. The phone had been broken in her fall.

'Shit,' she whimpered. Calling the cops was out of the question. She would have to do this alone.

She drew in a deep, shaky breath, surveying her surroundings. She knew where she was. The suburban area had almost no cover. A few of the houses had bushes in the front yard, but they wouldn't be enough to hide behind if the men came this way, and if they cornered her in one of the yards there would be no way out.

There was only one way to go. A couple hundred yards down the street there was a small laneway between two houses that led to a cul-de-sac. If she could get down there undetected, there was a fence she could jump.

He would be mad, but it was her only option.

Slowly rising to her feet, she scanned the street. She could see them on the corner, still looking for her. There was no mistaking what they wanted. Her escape had clearly pissed them off, because the unmistakable glint of a knife in the taller one's hand made her stomach sink.

She stayed low, bending down to cover herself behind the cars as she crept down the street, darting quickly between them and ducking down. Each step sounded like an explosion in her ears. She kept checking over her shoulder every few feet, praying they wouldn't notice her.

As she crept closer to the laneway, the gaps between cars grew larger. Each time, Y/N checked behind her, waiting to see if they had noticed her movements. Somehow, they remained oblivious, but they were still moving towards her blindly.

She made the sprint from behind a small grey sedan to the big black truck that sat closest to the alley. Her footsteps seemed to echo as she moved on her toes, trying desperately to minimize any noise. She dove behind the large truck, creeping around the back and glancing down the laneway.

She could see the fence. Salvation taunted her. All she had to do was run faster than them.

Y/N had a head start, but she was exhausted and bleeding. She wasn't sure she would be fast enough, and that didn't address the challenge of scaling the fence.

There was no cover between the truck and the alley, only a long stretch of lawn and pavement. This was going to be dangerous.

Her heart pounded as she shuffled in place, gearing herself up for the most important sprint of her life.

'Okay,' she hissed to herself. 'Okay, one... Two...' she counted, shoving her phone back into her pocket and rocking from foot to foot. She searched herself for all the courage and adrenaline she had left, keeping her eyes on the fence.

She should have looked over her shoulder.

'Down there!' One of the men yelled.

'Shit!' Y/N hissed, launching off her front foot as fast as she could and tearing down the alley. She refused to look back, the sound of their boots chasing her only just louder than the sound of her blood rushing in her ears.

The house on the other side of the fence was dark, but she knew there was a dog door that she could fit through. All she had to do was get into the yard and get through that door.

He would be livid, but she hoped he would understand.

Her feet pounded against the pavement, the cold air like knives in her lungs. All she could see was the fence. It was tall, and it would be a miracle if she could get over unscathed, but she knew she had to try. There was no way to get to the front of the house. Not from this street, anyway.

As she grew closer to the fence, she braced herself for the hardest climb of her life. This side of the fence was smooth, there would be almost no friction to help her get over. This was going to be all on her upper body strength, and her hands were torn to shreds.

Their footsteps entered the alley, their panting interspersed with the odd jeering call. Y/N didn't want to know what would happen if they caught up to her.

This was it.

She crossed the cul-de-sac, running up the gutter and trying to leap for the top of the fence.

She just managed to reach the top of the planks, her hands screaming in agony as her body weight pulled down on the scrapes and scratches. The blood on her hands made her grip slick.

With a cry, she pulled as hard as she could, her feet scrabbling against the smooth planks, searching for any purchase. Bit by bit, she got closer.

'Where do you think you're going!?' One of the men yelled, his voice too close for her liking.

Finally, her feet found some grip, pushing her up the fence. Y/N hooked her elbow over the top, yanking herself up and scraping her belly and chest over the wooden planks, shrieking as the rough edge of the wood dug into her body.

A strong hand grabbed at her ankle, and she cried out as she felt him pull.

'Get off of me!' She screamed, 'leave me alone!'

Kicking back, her foot collided with something, a sick crunch following the feeling.

'BITCH!'

She threw herself over the fence, toppling off the other side as the man grabbed for her leg again.

She landed hard on the gravel that filled the corner of the yard. The men yelled from the other side of the fence, but it didn't seem like they were trying to get over. One of them screamed, the other hurling insults at her and kicking at the fence.

She knew the fence was sturdy enough that they wouldn't be able to break it down, but she didn't care. Adrenaline still surged through her body, screaming that she wasn't safe yet. Y/N forced herself back onto to her feet, ignoring the pain filling her body as she rushed around the house. Down the side of the house, she could see the laundry door.

'Please be open,' she gasped, 'please be open.'

Her feet pounded on the pavers, the odd crunch of a stray piece of gravel under her feet broke up the rhythmic sound. As she reached the door, she pushed on the dog door, relieved to see it swing inward.

Falling to her knees, she threw herself through and into the laundry, spinning around quickly and locking the flap shut, sliding the metal cover down over it.

She hurled herself backwards away from the door until her back met a cabinet. Finally, she could breathe. Her choked gasps filled the room, her head spinning and her hands on fire while she fought for breath.

As her chest heaved, her injuries began to make themselves known.

Her palms stung, bleeding from the scrapes. Her ribs pounded and her stomach felt bruised, and her leg screamed with pain. A quiet dripping sound caught her attention, but it was too dark to see where it was coming from.

While she gasped for air, another noise echoed through the house.

Footsteps.

She froze, praying they hadn't gotten in.

She clamped her hand over her mouth in a feeble attempt to silence herself. Tears began to well as she felt the panic building again.

The room was dark, and there was nothing obvious to defend herself with. If they had gotten in, all she would be able to do was scream.

Bit by bit, the footsteps padded closer to the laundry.

She knew she should call out, but she couldn't, she was paralysed. If it was them, she was done for.

Closer.

And closer.

The door handle rattled under someone's hand, and slowly the door creaked open. A shaft of light filled the room. She couldn't see who was holding the light, but the glint of the blade was unmistakeable. Y/N flinched away from the light, covering her head with a cry.

Y/N screamed, trying to throw herself away from the door.

'Whoa! whoa, stop screaming!' Came the familiar voice. The overhead light turning on and revealed the tall, tattooed man. Noah stood in his sweatpants, holding a katana and using his phone as a flashlight. 'What the fuck are you doing here!?'

As soon as she saw him, she dropped her hands back to her ribs, holding the area tightly and gasping for breath as she began to cry.

'I'm sorry,' Y/N panted, tears streaming down her face, 'I didn't know where else to go.'

As Noah looked at her, she could see the colour drain from his face. She followed his gaze, seeing the blood dribbling from her leg and leaving a pool on the laundry floor, and the bloody handprints all over the tiles.

'Y/N, what the fuck happened to you?' He asked, putting the sword and his phone on the counter and dropping to her side. He grabbed a clean towel from the basket by the dryer and pressed it to her leg, holding it tightly. His eyes searched her face, trying to hide his horror.

In the light he could see that she was bleeding badly, and her face was smeared with red from covering her mouth. His gut twisted at the smell, the salty metallic scent filled the room.

Y/N coughed, her face contorting as she held her side. 'I was waiting for the bus, and these two guys grabbed me. I ran, but they chased me,' she said, gulping for air. 'I broke my phone, so I jumped your fence. I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else to do-'

'Hey, no, shut up,' he told her, pressing harder against her leg as the blood started to seep through the towel. 'Don't apologise. You did the right thing coming here. I'd rather you come here than risk it out there.'

'I thought you hated me?' Y/N said, gritting her teeth.

Noah's body tensed, his gaze locking on his hand. 'Not enough to want you dead.'

Y/N nodded awkwardly while Noah looked her over.

'Can you stand?' He asked. 'I've got a first aid kit upstairs. I need to see how bad this is, and we need to call the police.'

Y/N stayed silent, his tense tone only making her stomach sink further. She nodded slowly.

Carefully, Noah released his grip on her leg. The blood continued to flow, but it seemed slower now.

'Come on,' he said, standing up and tossing the towel over his shoulder, offering her his hand.

'Do you really want to do that?' She asked, showing him her free hand and the blood smeared across it. Noah rolled his eyes, flexing his fingers.

'It's fine, I'm gonna get covered in it anyway. Come on.'

Timidly, Y/N took his hand, staggering to her feet. The adrenaline in her system had begun to fade, and her body was crashing. She tried to put her weight on her cut leg, crying out as it buckled in pain beneath her.

Noah lunged for her, yanking her towards him with the hand he held and wrapping his arm underneath hers, holding her steady against his chest.

'Okay, you can't walk,' he said, feeling her trembling against him. Her eyes were wide with fear, her hand still clutching her ribs. She refused to look up at him, shaking her head as she mumbled.

'I'm sorry, I thought I could.'

'Y/N, stop apologising,' he told her firmly, glancing at her face, 'and don't apologise for apologising. I know you're about to.'

Y/N nodded once, wincing as he slung her free arm over his shoulders and positioned her at his side. He began to hoist her up, but her shriek made him freeze, almost dropping her.

'Fuck, fuck, stop!' Y/N cried, pain searing through her ribs as Noah pulled.

'Shit, are you good?' He asked, letting her down.

'Nope,' she gulped, 'ribs. I think I bruised them climbing the fence.'

'Alright, fuck this, I'm carrying you,' he told her,  crouching and sweeping his arm behind her knees. He made sure to keep her injured side away from him, lest he make it worse.

Y/N grimaced, yelping as he brought her close to his chest.

'Grab the phone,' he instructed flatly, nodding to the counter where his sword and his phone laid, the flashlight on the phone beaming up to the ceiling.

Y/N grabbed the device and felt Noah begin to walk.

'You're not gonna like this, but I'm gonna need you to strip. I need to see what we're dealing with,' Noah told her somewhat sheepishly, making his way through the dark house.

Y/N pursed her lips. 'Well, this is not how I expected tonight to go,' she sighed, reluctantly resting her head on his shoulder.

'And what did you expect?' Noah's terse voice asked. She couldn't deny the hurt that his accusatory tone inflicted.

She glared up at him, only just able to see him in the low light. 'Nothing to do with you.'

Noah's lip tightened, and she felt his fingers twitch as he held her. She didn't want to trade blows with him, but if he was going to be this way when she needed help, then so be it.

'That's not answering my question though,' he asked tightly.

'Not that it's any of your business, but I thought I'd go out with friends and have a few drinks. That I'd go home and go to bed. Alone or otherwise...'

'Well, after this, I don't think you're going to bed alone.'

'And why is that?'

Noah shook his head, glancing down at her as he climbed the stairs. The look seemed to be asking if she was stupid. 'As if I'm letting you go anywhere after you just got attacked. If you're not going to hospital, you're staying here.'

Y/N's stomach twisted. 'Again, I thought you hated me?'

'Again, not enough to want you dead. I'm not a monster.'

Noah pushed the bathroom door open with his foot, making his way into the room and sitting Y/N down on the closed toilet. He reached behind him, turning the light on quickly and surveying the damage.

'Alright, pants off. I need to see what's going on here,' Noah instructed.

He moved to the cabinet while Y/N kicked her shoes off. She awkwardly shuffled her pants off, peeling them down her bloodied legs. Noah produced a large red container from underneath the sink, slamming the cabinet shut and turning back to her.

He shuffled across the floor, sliding the container over the tiles and coming back to kneel by her legs. He quickly flicked the towel off of his shoulder, trying to wipe her leg as clean as he could to see the damage.

Her thighs were scraped from the fence, but the side of her calf was torn open with a decent gash and still dribbling blood. Even her sock had turned red from the amount that had dripped into her shoe.

'What the fuck did they do to you?' Noah said softly, inspecting the wound.

'I don't know. I guess he got me with the knife when I jumped the fence,' Y/N winced as he pressed the towel to her leg again.

''Wait, there was a knife? Are you fucking serious?' he stammered, staring at her with wide eyes. His jaw hung slack and his heart thumped in his chest. A sudden wave of nausea hit him, but he swallowed hard, refusing to show it.

'Yeah,' she nodded. 'I didn't think I got hit.'

'Call the police, now,' he told her, gesturing to his phone and returning his attention to the container, searching for something to disinfect her leg.

With her left hand still on her ribs, Y/N nervously picked up the phone, swiping it to unlock it. A four digit password blocked her access.

'Um, what's your passcode?' She asked timidly.

'Oh...' Noah said quietly, pausing. 'It's still our anniversary.'

Her stare softened, her hand trembling as she typed the combination. She knew the numbers by heart. 'You never changed it?'

'Just call them. You can give me shit for it later,' Noah grumbled.

Y/N pursed her lips. There it was again. The anger, the hatred. She rolled her eyes, pulling up the keypad and dialling 911.

While she called, Noah hunted through the kit for something to clean his hands and something to wipe the wound with. To his dismay, there were no gloves. Hand sanitizer would have to do.

He found a small box of wound wipes, gritting his teeth at the smell as he tore one open. 'This might sting,' he told her, turning his attention back to her leg. He unfolded the compact wipe, draping it over the wound and pressing down.

Y/N sucked in a sharp breath, clenching her teeth as the sting ripped through her leg. Noah's lips tightened, gingerly dragging the wipe across the skin and seeing the depth of the wound. He grimaced, it was likely going to need stitches. As the blood began to dribble again, he grabbed the once grey towel, holding it back to her skin and pressing down hard.

While Y/N relayed her attack and her location to the 911 dispatcher, Noah felt his jaw tense. It took all of his willpower not to go outside with one of his swords and find the men that did this.

While she wasn't his to protect anymore, it didn't mean he didn't care. His stomach bubbled with fury, biting his tongue to try and maintain his composure.

'No, I'm not alone,' Y/N said to the dispatcher. 'I'm with my, uh...' she paused, 'I'm with a friend. It's his house.'

She noticed the look on his face but didn't draw attention to it. He seemed upset by her use of the word "friend".

'Yeah, he's got a towel on my leg, it's bleeding pretty badly,' she said into the phone. She listened for a moment while the dispatcher tried to give instructions on how to care for the wound until help arrived. Y/N's eyes moved to Noah's face, 'can you see any yellow in there?'

'No, but it's still bleeding a lot,' Noah told her. 'I think it's just because you've been running.'

'They're going to send an ambulance just to be sure,' Y/N told him. 'As if I can afford that...'

'Shut up, I'll pay for it. You need the help, I can only do so much,' Noah snipped.

Y/N shut her mouth, looking away from him. Noah could see the hurt on her face, mentally kicking himself. She listened silently for a minute, and then she spoke.

'Yeah, just get them to ring the bell when they're here, he'll let them in,' Y/N said to the dispatcher, thanking them before lowering the phone and ending the call.

Noah sighed, shifting on his knees.

'I'm sorry, I'm just stressed, okay? This is a lot.'

'You're telling me,' Y/N huffed. 'You weren't exactly the first person who sprang to mind when I was running for my life. You take what you can get.'

Noah bit his lip, looking away. 'Alright, I deserved that.'

'You're giving me whiplash, Noah. One second you're caring, and the next you're telling me to shut up and treating me like I let this happen specifically to inconvenience you.'

Noah shook his head. 'I'm sorry, okay? You scared the hell out of me. Do you have any idea what it's like to lose someone like that, and then suddenly they're in your house at one in the morning, covered in blood?'

Her glare pierced through him like daggers. She stared hard at him, her mouth hanging open as she huffed. He knew that look, and he knew he'd trodden in it.

'You didn't lose me, you kicked me out. I wanted to fix things, but you pushed me away.' Her voice was low, almost growling.

'I pushed you away because you were already halfway out the door.'

'I was halfway out the door because you put me there!' Y/N yelped, her hand on her ribs as she leaned back against the cistern of the toilet. 'You were doing great, the band was taking off, and I was fine with that. I know you think I resented it, but I didn't! I was happy for you! I understood that fame comes with a price, but it wasn't the fame that fucked everything up. When quarantine happened, you weren't you. You were drunk all the time and you were avoiding me!'

'I was not avoiding you! You were avoiding me! That's why I was drinking! You never wanted to be around me, you were always on your phone or hiding somewhere!'

'Because you were on stream! You said you didn't want anyone to know about me for my own safety, so I stayed away from you whenever you were on twitch, which was all the fucking time! What did you think I would do, just sit and wait somewhere until you were ready to talk to me? I was fucking lonely, Noah! My family was across the country, I had no one here but you!'

'You had Ruffilo! And Folio! And Vince and Jolly!'

'No, Noah! You had them! They're your friends, not mine! Same with Davis and Matt! I was alone and you let me be alone!' She cried, her breath hitching. Noah could see the tears brimming her eyes, but he couldn't stop. This conversation had needed to happen for a long time, it was about time to finally get it out.

'So what? You just left?' he said curtly. 'You gave up on us and just fucked off?'

'You told me to! You said if I couldn't deal with it that you didn't need me! I was already on my own, I figured I might as fucking well!'

Noah grabbed at her hand, feeling her clammy skin as he grabbed another wipe and cleaned the scrapes. 'I was drunk, Y/N! I didn't mean it! I never thought you'd actually do it!'

'Oh, so you thought you could tell me to fuck off and what? You thought I'd stay? Be miserable? Keep waiting for you to un-pickle yourself long enough to see that we hadn't spoken in a week even though we slept in the same bed?' She said, wincing as he cleaned her palm. 'I don't know what you wanted from me, but clearly I couldn't give it to you. The way we ended fucking wrecked me, Noah.'

'It wasn't great for me, either,' he said, grabbing for the hand she had been holding on her ribs. As he held it in front of him, all of his anger dissipated, the cold chill of fear replacing it.

'Can you stop manhandling me!? I'm in enough pain,' she spat.

'Lift up your shirt,' Noah said tensely.

'Way to change the subject-'

'Y/N, lift up your shirt,' he said, looking at the thick layer of blood coating her palm. 'This is fresh, and there's a lot of it. Slowly, lift. Up. Your. Shirt.'

Y/N shut her mouth, her eyes widening at the sight of her hand. Cautiously, she reached for the hem of her shirt and peeled it up.

Noah felt sick, the wet fabric making an awful sticky sound as it separated from her skin.

'Oh fuck,' he breathed.

Her whole left side was red with blood, and a deep wound tore through the skin. Blood dribbled from the gash, trickling down her side in thick lines, absorbing into the fabric of her underwear.

In the centre, something silvery embedded itself into her skin. As her hand drew nearer to it, he realised that her fingertips were turning blue. She was bleeding out faster than either of them had thought. He was running out of time.

Noah's face dropped, his heart twisting. 'Don't panic, but I need you to lie on the floor. Now.'

Y/N blanched, her breathing quickening as she watched his expression closely. 'Noah, you're scaring me.'

'It's fine, don't panic. Get on the floor. We need gravity to stop pumping the blood down, okay?'

'What is it? Tell me what you see.'

She was too scared to look. His expression told her that whatever it was, it was bad. His features froze, his mouth hanging open as he stared.

'There's something stuck in your side,' he said slowly, his voice lowering. 'We're definitely going to the hospital.'

Y/N froze, her body refusing to move.

'What is it?' she asked quietly, letting her shirt fall and wincing as the fabric dragged across the wound.

Noah shook his head. 'I can't tell.' He swallowed hard, offering his hand to her. He couldn't hide the tremors, she saw his hand shaking as he reached for her. She grabbed his hand, her palm stinging as she gripped it tightly and slid forward.

'Grab onto me,' he said quietly, sliding closer and guiding her arms around his neck, carefully holding her waist. She groaned as he lifted her, her stomach churning and her head spinning. She was practically dead weight in his arms as he cradled her, lowering her to the floor.

'Noah, I think I'm going to pass out,' she told him, her grip faltering.

'It's alright,' he soothed. 'It's okay, I've got you.'

He laid her in the middle of the room, trying to make sure there was space for the paramedics to help her. Her back met the cool tile, her head falling back as she squeezed her eyes shut.

'Am I going to die?' she asked weakly, scared of the answer.

'Not if I can do anything about it,' he told her, shifting to her side. He yanked a towel off the rack behind him and rolled it up, placing it under her head as a pillow.

'I know you said don't freak out, but I'm freaking out.' Her eyes opened, looking up at him. Her pupils were saucers, wide and full of fear. He could see her breathing stutter, and he grabbed for her hand.

'Don't, it's gonna be alright, the ambulance will be here any minute, and they'll know what to do,' he told her, squeezing her fingers. With his other hand, he placed the bloody towel over the wound and pressed it carefully, trying to apply pressure around the injury without pushing on whatever the object was.

His hand shook in hers, fearing the worst. She was almost white. He could feel her heartbeat beneath the towel. It was terrifyingly fast, he knew he had to calm her down somehow. The blood was soaking through the towel quicker than he anticipated, and he didn't know what to do.

Y/N coughed, crying out as the spasm pushed the wound against Noah's hand. He grimaced, 'Talk to me, tell me how you feel.'

'I feel dizzy,' she told him, her grip on his hand slowly loosening. 'It's hard to breathe.'

'I mean, I am pushing on your chest,' he reminded her, trying to keep his tone light. 'That would make it hard to breathe.'

Y/N pursed her lips, looking up at him again.

'Noah, if I die-'

'You're not going to die. I'm not going to let you,' he cut her off. 'You're going to be fine.'

'How can you be so sure?' she asked, tears dribbling down her cheeks. 'You're shaking, which means you're scared. I know that means there's something you're not telling me...'

Noah shook his head. 'I'm scared, yeah. But that doesn't mean you're going to die. I told you, I'm not going to let that happen.'

'But if I do-'

'You won't-' Noah said, trying to fight her.

'Noah, please,' she begged.

Noah closed his eyes, shaking his head. 'No-,'

'I still love you, okay? I need you to know that,' She blurted out, holding his hand as tight as she could manage. 'You know that, right?'

Noah pursed his lips, his stomach dropped and his heart stopped. He finally paused, looking at her without his haze of adrenaline.

Her skin was pale and covered in a sheen of sweat, and the room looked like a murder scene. She had lost a lot of blood. The fear in her eyes made his stomach twist. He could feel her bleeding into his hand, the towel heavy as it squelched between his fingers. The gash on her leg still dripped on the floor, albeit slowly.

This was the woman he had once loved, the same one he swore he would sell his soul to keep safe so many years ago. And now he wasn't sure he could.

There was a chance this was it.

Did he really want her to die thinking he hated her?

'Yeah, baby, I know,' he whispered, nodding and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. 'Just stay with me, okay? I've got you, and we're gonna get through this. We can talk about all of this later.'

The doorbell finally rang, telling them that the ambulance had arrived. Noah looked down at Y/N, seeing tears spilling over as she tried to keep it together. It broke his heart to leave her there. He prayed he would be fast enough.

'I promise, I will be right back,' he told her, squeezing her hand and kissing her knuckles again. 'I'm gonna go and get them and we're gonna get you out of here, alright?'

'Okay,' she nodded, anxiously releasing his hand. The way her fingers trembled made him sick.

'Hold the towel on it, it'll help.'

His voice was thick, swallowing hard as he guided her hand to the towel, helping her hold it in place before he stood and rushed from the room.

He ran down the stairs, turning on every light switch he passed. His stomach churned as he saw the bloodstains on the carpet. He forced his feet to move as fast as they could, racing for the front door and opening it quickly.

'Hi,' the taller paramedic said warmly. He looked to be in his forties. His cropped hair was starting to turn grey and his smile crinkled his eyes. Noah wasted no time on pleasantries.

'Upstairs bathroom,' he told the man, panting, 'it's bad. There's something in her chest, we don't know what.'

'On it,' the man said, immediately becoming all business.

'I'll get the gurney and the trauma kit, you go straight up,' the other younger paramedic said. Her long brown hair swished behind her in a braid as she turned on her heel, rushing back to the ambulance.

'Lead the way,' the man said. Noah nodded, rushing back the way he came. Their steps thundered up the stairs as Noah darted around the corner with the paramedic in tow.

As they entered the bathroom, Noah could see Y/N struggling to breathe. The sheen of sweat had become droplets, and her eyes were starting to close.

'Hey,' Noah said quickly, dropping to his knees by her head, 'it's okay, I'm here, I'm back.'

'Hey, Y/N, was it?' The medic asked her calmly, kneeling by her side where she held the towel.

'Yeah,' she gasped, her right hand reaching for Noah's. Noah grabbed it, squeezing reassuringly.

'Y/N, I'm James, my partner Kate is bringing the gurney in so we can get you to the hospital, but first things first, we need to have a look at you. Can I lift your shirt up?' He asked, gently lifting her left hand away from her ribs.

Y/N nodded weakly, letting him expose her rib and inspect the wound.

'Oh wow, that can't feel good,' he said lightheartedly. 'It's definitely not the worst I've seen though. We'll have to get a scan to see how deep this thing is, but lucky for you it doesn't look like it's in your lung, otherwise we'd be seeing some spray every time you breathe.'

'Okay,' she nodded, her head falling back and resting on Noah's legs.

'It's gonna be okay, baby,' Noah assured her.

'You've had a bit of an ordeal tonight, haven't you?' James said, looking over her. 'Some nice scrapes, a bit of a gash on your leg, I hate to imagine what the other guy looks like.'

'I think I broke his nose,' Y/N coughed. 'He tried to drag me off the fence, but I kicked him and there was a decent crunch.'

'We might let hospitals in the area know to keep an eye out for anyone with that kind of injury, it'll help us find the guy. I'm just going to put some stickers on you, alright? Just so we can see how everything inside is doing.'

Y/N nodded tiredly, letting James get to work. He applied the ECG stickers over her body, attaching cables to them and hooking them up to the machine he had carried in. A soft beep told him that the machine was reading her heartbeat, and James didn't hide his concern very well.

Another set of footsteps approached the bathroom, and the female EMT entered with a crate in hand.

'Oh wow, we've had some fun in here haven't we?' She said, looking at the blood smeared across the floor.

The medics began to call instructions to each other, getting to work on stabilising Y/N for transport.

'Pulse is high, we're looking at stage two hypovolemic shock. Get fluids going and wrap the leg. Can you radio for police? They're probably going to want photos of all of this for evidence.'

'I have cameras,' Noah said, 'I can see if there's any footage of them chasing her?'

'That would be great, the more evidence we have, the easier it'll be to nail these guys when we find them,' Kate said as she set up an IV in Y/N's free hand.

While James stabilised the chest wound, Kate wrapped Y/N's leg tightly. Noah kept Y/N's hand tightly in his, stroking her hair with his other hand.

'Hey Y/N, I need you to talk to me, how are you doing?' James asked.

'Not so great,' she murmured.

'How so? Talk me through it,' he said warmly.

'I feel like I'm gonna be sick, or pass out, I don't know...'

Noah felt her hand loosening it's grip. 'Hey, you need to stay awake, come on.'

'He's right, Y/N,' Kate called out. 'Come on, keep talking to us. Tell me something, what were you doing before all of this?'

'I was...' Y/N mumbled, 'uhh, I was out with friends...'

James and Kate exhanged glances, James pointed at the screen of the machine hooked up to her heart.

'We need to move,' James said softly. 'Stage three, not two.'

'What does that mean?' Noah asked, his throat tight.

Kate scrambled off her knees, darting to the door and grabbing a large board that she had left outside the room. 'It means she's lost a lot more blood than we thought.'

Kate laid the board beside Y/N and James began to move.

'Alright, I'm gonna need you to step back while we move her. Go and grab a shirt, son,' James said, eyeing Noah sympathetically.

Noah nodded, moving carefully and laying Y/N's head down on the tile. 'I'll be right back, okay? I promise.'

Y/N nodded weakly, still gasping for breath. She tried to squeeze his hand, her fingers barely twitching.

Y/N watched him leave the room, her eyelids low and her ears ringing. She could see him look back at her with tears in his eyes. He didn't hide his fear well.

'I don't feel so hot,' she murmured.

'It's okay, just stay with me, alright?' James told her.

Y/N wanted to. She knew she should, but she couldn't fight the exhaustion. Her eyes rolled back as her breaths staggered. It was quick, and it was painless.

Then there was nothing. Just quiet.

***

The ambulance couldn't go fast enough. It killed Noah to sit quietly. His fingernails dug into his arms as he watched her breathing.

He had returned to the bathroom to find the paramedics performing CPR.

Y/N's eyes were open, staring up at the roof but seeing nothing. That image would haunt him forever.

It took them what felt like an eternity to get her back, and even then, she wasn't stable. They chose to take the risk and move her rather than continue trying to stabilise, lest they lose her again.

Noah was numb, barely able to register the noise and the chaos. Kate and James called back and forth to each other while Kate continued working to save Y/N and James drove.

All Noah could do was watch Y/N's chest, making sure she was still breathing.

He had no idea what the words that the paramedics were saying meant. He understood that Y/N's pulse was weak, and that was it.

But she had a pulse. She was still alive. That's what mattered.

Everything around him was a blur. He wanted to scream. Tears trickled down his cheeks as the ambulance pulled into the parking bay, James and Kate throwing themselves into action again.

A team of people in scrubs greeted them as the back doors of the van were thrown open. They wasted no time in getting her out and into the hospital.

'Stab wound in the left chest region, foreign body still in the wound,' James said to one of the doctors. 'Bleeding heavily, lost pulse approximately fifteen minutes ago, CPR was successful. We're looking at class three hypovolemic shock. We've pushed fluids, but we've done all we can.'

Noah clambered out of the ambulance, trying to follow them. They wheeled her through a series of doors, the bright lights almost blinding him as he followed the crowd.

Kate was the one to stop him.

'Noah, she's going straight into surgery. You know you can't follow her,' she said sadly.

'I promised her she would be okay,' he said, watching them rush her down the hall towards a set of large grey doors.

'And she will be. She's in the best possible hands,' Kate assured him. 'We did our best, now it's their turn. But you're going to have to get comfortable, you're in for a long night.'

He looked at the shorter woman, seeing the sympathy on her face. There was nothing else he could do now.

'What do I do?' He asked quietly.

'The first thing you should do is wash your hands. Then maybe find something to eat or drink, it'll make a world of difference,' she told him, pointing out the closest bathroom.

He nodded slowly, thanking her and numbly following her directions. He barely registered entering the bathroom or locking the door. Looking at himself in the mirror, he felt sick.

His chest was smeared with dried blood, the colour almost brown now. His hands looked the same. With all of his tattoos, the untrained eye probably wouldn't notice, but he did. It was all over him. He looked like he had been the one attacked.

He stepped over to the sink, turning it on high and shoving his hands under the freezing stream, barely noticing the numbing cold.

He spent what felt like hours wetting paper towels and scrubbing the blood off. Soap did little to help, at this point it was flaking off like dried paint. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get it all off. Little flecks stuck to his skin, taunting him.

His breath hitched in his throat as her face flashed through his mind again. Her wide eyes, her failing grip...

His hands gripped the edge of the sink, holding himself up while he tried to hold himself together. This wasn't how he had wanted things to go.

He had dreamed of seeing her again, of being able to clear the air with her. He never wanted anything to happen to her, no matter how mad he had been. He felt abandoned by her, but over the years he had come to terms with his part in the way things had ended.

A part of him felt responsible. After all the horrible things he had said in the heat of the moment, the things he had said when he was mad about her leaving...

He wished he could take it all back. His heart squeezed, feeling like it was being torn out of his chest. His lip curled back over his clenched teeth, trying to hold back the guttural scream that begged to rip through his body.

Tears dripped from his face, hitting the porcelain sink with a quiet thud. He released the sink from his white knuckled grip, stepping back and leaning against the wall.

Silently, he prayed to whatever deity that was listening. He prayed for her survival, pleading with invisible forces to keep her safe. She deserved better than to die like this.

'Please,' he whispered, his voice cracking as he choked back a sob. 'Please don't let her die.'

Noah slid down the wall slowly, pulling his legs up to his chest and digging his nails into his shins.

There was so much he wanted to say to her. So many things he wanted to apologise for and so many things he needed to make right. Her words echoed over and over in his mind. Her gasping voice, the shuddering breaths as she gripped his hand, her grip growing weaker...

"I still love you... I need you to know that..."

'I never stopped either.'

***

She looked like hell. The bruises had finally formed into a sickly purple colour, blooming across her legs and stomach. Her leg and her hands were tightly bandaged, dressings covered the wound on her chest.

She had been lucky. The object in her chest had been the blade of a push knife. Somehow it snapped off its handle, lodging between two of her ribs. Every movement had torn her up more, and dragging herself over the fence had driven it in deep.

The surgery took hours, most of which Noah had spent sitting on the floor as close to the OR doors as he could get. His wrists were almost raw from wringing them with anxiety, and his chest still hurt from how hard his heart had been pounding all night.

Now, he sat by her bedside and watched her breathe. The IV above her bed trickled antibiotics into her system, and leads and cables ran in organised chaos up to the machine that monitored her vital signs.

Y/N's skin was still pale, but her fingertips and lips weren't blue anymore. Dark circles surrounded her eyes, adding to the sunken look of her face. A cannula was taped to her face, helping her breathe. She looked like shit, to put it lightly.

The police had come through a couple of times to see if she was awake and take her statement, leaving a card with Noah to call them when she finally woke up. They had already found the guys who did it to her. If she hadn't kicked one of them, they may have gotten away with it.

The idiots ended up at the same hospital as her. They came in, one of them with a few facial fractures, and the police picked them up.

That didn't mean Noah was going to leave though. From the moment she was put in a bed, he stayed by her side waiting for her to wake up. He sat for hours, his back aching from the awful chair and his legs going numb. He wanted to hold her hand, but he wasn't sure if he should. She looked so fragile that he worried he would only hurt her more.

It wasn't until the sun set on LA again that she finally woke up.

'I can feel you staring,' she said quietly, her eyes staying closed.

Noah swallowed the gasp that wanted to come out. He forced a chuckle, picking at his fingernails again. 'Sorry,' was all he could manage to say. 'How are you feeling?'

'Like I got stabbed,' she said with a sour laugh, gritting her teeth when she laughed. Her hand slowly moved to her ribs, her fingertips feeling around for the wound.

'It was a push knife. The idiot still had the handle in his pocket when they arrested him. He must have stabbed you before you even ran from them,' Noah said, looking up at her. Her eyes were open, staring back at him with a look of disbelief that made his stomach twist.

'Why did you stay?' she asked. 'You could have gone home.'

Noah shook his head, swallowing hard and looking down at his fingers again. Her blood still coloured his cuticles, trapped in the tiny creases of his skin and under his nails.

'Not after that. I couldn't...' he said, his breath hitching in his throat.

'Just say it, I know you're thinking it,' she told him, her weak voice teasing him slightly.

Noah took a deep breath. He couldn't look at her, he was too scared of her answer. 'Did you mean it? Or did you just say it because you thought you were going to die?'

'Did you mean it when you called me "Baby"?' she shot back. Her tone was sharper than it was meant to be. She saw him shrink on himself, kicking herself for the way she was handling it.

Noah didn't respond, instead chewing on his lip.

Y/N sighed softly. 'Yes, okay? I meant it. But I can't be in that position again. I can't watch you waste your life with whisky and weed and pretend to be okay with it. Last night hurt less than quarantine did.'

'I'm sorry. And you're right,' he said, finally looking up at her. 'I pushed you away. I felt like I was only going to drag you down or be an obstacle for you, I felt like I was getting in the way of your goals. You kept taking a back seat to the band and I knew you were miserable, so I pushed you out. I was wrong, and I regret it every day.'

She swallowed, nodding slowly. Her eyes drifted down to his hands, seeing the blood under his fingernails. His fingers were red, he had picked his skin raw and the sight drove a pang of guilt into her stomach.

'I appreciate your apology,' she said, 'and I appreciate you being there for me last night, but I don't know what to do from here.'

He nodded, breathing deeply. 'For what it's worth, I've been sober for three years. I gave it all away, I hated who I was becoming.'

Her head cocked and her eyebrows raised, looking at him in disbelief. 'Seriously?'

'Yeah. When I realised you weren't coming back, I knew I'd fucked up. I found myself striving to be someone you'd be proud of.'

'I was always proud of you, Noah. I just couldn't watch you self destruct out of boredom when I was right there to help you.'

'I know that now,' he told her, knitting his fingers together. 'Believe me, I know, and I'm so fucking sorry.'

With a sad smile, Y/N patted the bed, offering for him to come and sit by her. Noah's lip twitched as he stood, cautiously shifting onto the bed. He sat by her hip, facing her. She gingerly took his hand, wishing the bandages on her hands were gone.

'So what do you want?' She said, looking up at him.

'What do you mean?'

'I mean, if you could have it your way, where would this go?' she asked. 'Clearly there's something that you want.'

Noah paused, searching her eyes. He remembered the last time she looked at him this way. The night she left, she looked at him with desperation like this. Begging him to tell her to stay, pleading him to say he didn't mean it, that he still wanted her...

His stomach twisted as he took her hand between his, his eyes misting over.

'I want you to come home,' he told her quietly, staring at their entwined fingers. 'I've wanted you to come home since you left. I never should have let you walk out that door.'

'So why did you?' Y/N asked, her throat closing around her words. 'I gave you so many chances to stop me, and you let me go.'

'Because I was an idiot, and I'll never forgive myself for that.' He paused, shaking his head. 'If I had fought for you maybe this wouldn't have happened.'

'Hey, don't go there,' she told him, instinctively reaching for his face. Her fingers trailed across his cheek. Noah saw the number on the screen rise as her pulse sped up, his heart matching hers as it fluttered in his chest.

They sat frozen for a moment, their eyes locked. Her eyes were brimmed with tears, her lips parted. Her fingers began to retreat from his skin, but Noah's hand rose to cover hers, holding it to his face.

'Please, don't let go,' he whispered, leaning into her touch.

Y/N forced a deep breath, her throat tightening. The tears dribbled over, running down her face as she watched him. His eyes closed for a moment, letting himself linger in her touch.

'Give me a reason not to,' she said quietly, begging him.

Noah's eyes opened, his bloodshot hazel eyes staring deep into hers and his lip quivering.

'Because I still love you.'

He gently took her hand from his face, holding it over his heart. She could feel his pulse hammering against his chest, even through his shirt and the bandages.

'I can't promise it'll be perfect,' he told her, 'but I can promise that it'll never be the way that it was. We might fight, we might have days where we hate each other, but I promise you that no matter what I will always love you. At the end of the day, I will always come back to you. I can promise that you'll never be alone again.'

She pursed her lips, sniffing back tears. 'That's all I ever wanted from you,' she whimpered.

'And I'm sorry that it took me so long to see it.' He lifted his other hand to her cheek, wiping a tear from her face. 'Please, come home baby.'

'You know it's going to be hard, right? You're going to have to help me a lot for a while...'

'And I'll do it with a smile on my face,' he chuckled morosely. 'Anything is better than not having you.'

Y/N smirked weakly at him, squeezing his fingers. 'You know, I have an apartment that I can't just get rid of, I'm most of the way through a lease-'

'Oh my god,' he chuckled, 'you're really making me fight you right now?'

'Show me how bad you want me back,' she said with a tired smile.

With a smirk, he leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to hers. Her hand returned to his cheek and his fingers tilted her chin up. Their lips melded together like long lost puzzle pieces. Warmth bloomed in Noah's stomach at the feeling of her against him.

'Whatever you want, it's yours. I'll tattoo your name on my face, or write songs about you, or quit the damn band,' he whispered, his face hovering above hers, 'is that bad enough?'

'How about you just kiss me again and we'll call it even?' Y/N breathed, her stomach flipping as his eyes lit up. His grin made her heart flutter, the screen above the bed giving away her feelings.

Noah chuckled, kissing her again. He was careful not to hurt her, but years of longing poured into the kiss. Her fingers tangled into his hair, melting into him.

'I love you, so fucking much,' she said softly between kisses.

'I love you more.'

***

EPILOGUE

Her rasping, staggered breaths echoed in his ears. Her grip, once tight, slowly weakened; no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wake her.

The crimson pools dribbled from her body, the vicious wounds marring her skin as she laid on the stark white tile.

'Noah,' she whimpered, her eyes wide. Her body spasmed, shaking violently as she bled out.

'No, please. Stay with me,' he begged, 'stay with me baby, I've got you.'

The terror in her eyes made Noah sick. He wanted to stop it, to fix it, but he couldn't.

Instead he was forced to watch her die. Again.

She choked on her breath as her eyes glassed over. Any strength in her fingers faded, her hand falling slowly from his and landing in the pool of blood with a sickening splash.

'No,' Noah cried, 'no, Y/N, please! Come back! Y/N!'

A gentle hand on his shoulder began to drag him back, leaving her dead on the floor. He screamed, thrashing against the new hand's grip.

'No! No, please! Help her!'

'Noah!' A voice called to him. 'Noah, come on baby.'

His eyes flew open as he sat bolt upright in the bed. Droplets of sweat covered his body and his chest heaved as he stared into the darkness. His heart pounded in his chest, the blood pumping in his ears and almost drowning out the soft voice in the room.

His eyes adjusted quickly, searching for the source of the sound. Y/N sat to his side, her hand gingerly on his shoulder.

'Hey, it's okay,' she soothed, 'it was just a nightmare, baby. It's alright.'

He panted as he stared at her in the darkness. She was okay, there was no blood, no wounds. Noah wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. Her arms locked around him, her fingers running through his hair gently while he trembled.

'You're okay,' he breathed, 'thank god, you're okay.' He forced himself to breathe deeply, letting her fill his senses. Her soft breath in his ear, her fingers in his hair, her sweet smell...

'I'm alright, baby. It was just a bad dream,' she assured him. 'It's over now.'

Noah nodded tensely, nosing into her neck and closing his eyes. It had been six months and the memories were only just starting to fade. The scars on her skin had faded to a deep pink, and one day they would turn white. She still covered them, struggling to look at them, but he could feel the lump of scar tissue on her chest as he held her close.

'I'm sorry,' he said quietly, 'It was so real. For a second, you were gone again...' His eyes fell to the scar on her ribs. He could see it peeking out of the side of the oversized singlet she had stolen from him. She slept better wearing his shirt, and he wasn't going to deny her that comfort.

Y/N pulled back, shaking her head and taking his face in her hands. 'Noah, baby, look at me. It wasn't real, I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere, okay? I promise.'

She ran her thumbs lightly across his cheeks, his hands moving to hold her wrists. In the dim light of the moon, she could see the tears in his eyes as the terror faded away.

'I love you,' she said, locking her eyes with his. 'Take a deep breath for me.'

Noah did as she asked, breathing in through his nose and exhaling heavily out his mouth. Y/N released his face, sliding her hands into his and squeezing gently. She lifted one to her lips and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

'I love you,' she said again.

'I love you more,' he told her, lifting her other hand to his heart and resting his forehead on hers.

'Enough to fight for me?'