"But what if you don't? Because no one ever has, Frank. Even my own..." It was embarrassing how fast he allowed that to slip out, and even more so with how quick he felt emotion overcome him. It was true, though. No one ever stayed. They said they would, and then they fucking left. And it was fucking fine. He didn't need them. He could survive. He could build and fix and cook, and he never needed another goddamn human again. Maybe that was why the end soothed him. No one else to lie to him. To tell him he was something he would never be. No one until Frank. But this human... he can't admit that. Not yet. Not until he knew for sure. "I know you want to now. Be it because of the showers, or food, or the s...the sex... but... things change. And I know that. I know better than to think that the world ending changed anything about me." His face was humiliatingly wet and warm. He backed off, shaking his head and letting the choked off words fall. He wanted it? Fine. Only two ways for it to end, and this would answer questions for them both. Why he was so fearful and hard for Frank and if he really wanted to stay for Bill. He shifted back another step and sighed. "My mother left me here when I was seventeen. She was tired of me. Said that I was too fucking 'special', the bad kind, the way they said about the kids that got stared at in the yard. The doctors never said it. But she... she suspected, and I think everyone else did too. I was different and they didn't like me." It was weird. Talking about it, telling anyone about what he'd had to listen to over and over and over and over, until he was often left wondering why he was still alive. If he was that much of a burden to everyone he came across... was it even worth it? Yes. Because now we have him. "I had a girlfriend. Once. For a whole day. She only spent that day with me because she was worried about this boy she liked not wanting to date virgins, and I... didn't understand enough to get that she was only using me as means to an end. After that... I was alone until my mother got sick. I moved back here, I took care of her until she died and she let me keep the house. So... I am scared, Frank... of you telling me you want to stay and making me think it's because of me and it's not. I don't care. You can stay if it's just for the food or whatever it might be... I just... am fearful of being lied to." Then came the harder confession. He wiped at his face, shaking harder than he had in a few days, trying to find the words to explain... and opting to be direct. He moved back to invade Frank's space, inhaling the scent of his soap and coffee, kissing him and whimpering guiltily against his lips. "I'm scared that I am falling in love with you..."
"I'm not them, William."
Frank assured him. Though he had his own fair share of problems and insecurities, and he too knew what it was like to never feel like he was enough or worthy, Frank knew that Bill was. In his eyes, he always would be. The next words that followed from Bill's mouth stung his heart. Could he really think that Frank was that shallow? Perhaps he could. Perhaps he did. Frank took a couple of steps back to lean against the wall.
If there was a chance that this went wrong and Bill wanted him to leave at the end of this talk, he needed to reserve his strength. He wasn't sure exactly how long or far his walk would be and the more energy he wasted now, the more likely he was to be ripped apart by infected later. Frank kept his eyes focused away from Bill. He knew sometimes the intensity of his gaze was enough to make the other man nervous and he didn't need that while he was already emotionally raw.
He needed assurance, and the ability to know that he was safe where he was to share what he needed to with Frank. "I'm not here for the food, or the hot showers or the sex. But please, carry on. We can discuss my reasons later." He acknowledged softly, still keeping his eyes away from Bill's. He wasn't here to talk, this wasn't about him right now. He was here to listen and understand what it was that drove this man he'd come to adore. He was here to learn him. And he wouldn't stop until he did just that.
His heart dropped further still into his stomach as he listened to Bill highlight the experiences in his life that he had endured, from childhood to now. It made sense, why he was the way that he was. He knew no other way to be. He had made a life just learning how to survive, but never how to thrive. And that was truly devastating to Frank. When it became clear that there was a break in the conversation for Frank to safely interject without interrupting, he took the opportunity.
"You're right, William. The world ending didn't change anything about you. There was nothing about you that needed to change. You are not defined by someone's inability to love you. Not your mother's, not those shitty kids at school, and sure as fuck not that cunt who dated you for a day to make a mockery of your heart." Frank could feel his rage for those people building. How fucking dare they. How dare they take advantage of the kindest man he'd ever known.
"You are defined by the good that you've done. Despite the harsh and cold hand that the world held to you. You took care of a woman who by all rights, deserved to die alone and miserable for the things she'd done. You showed mercy to someone who showed you not a shred of it in return. You stared the odds against you in the face and you chose to fucking survive. You didn't give up. You didn't hurt other people the way that you've been hurt. You became what you needed someone else to be for you. The hero of your own story."
He let a breath pass, "I'm a horrible liar. I told you that the day I fell into your trap. I could stand right here and lie to your face and you'd see through every word, so what's the use? I am not here for your resources, William. It's lovely. Your generosity and your hospitality is not lost on me, by any means. But it's not why I stay. I stay for you. Because I enjoy you. I want to spend all of my time learning you. Physically. Emotionally. In all of your ways. I just want you."
The confession was a breathy one and soon Bill was back, invading his space again and Frank was grabbing him, pulling him in even closer, pressing their bodies as closely together as he could get them.
"Then let's be scared of that together... because I fell into a lot more than just your trap the day I got here, William."




















