alex

realizing you can write whatever you want is actually so freeing because shane hollander is getting put in Situations!!!!! :))))))))

SOMEONE POSTED MY SHIT ON TWITTER

hayden pike is so interesting because everything could be true about him to me. he’s a good friend, he’s a bad friend, he’s mormon, he’s ex-mormon, he was at january 6th, he’s a state controlled secret agent sent to infiltrate the high ranks of corporations hunting for fraud but he lowkey got distracted and forgot about that, he’s the 15th best voyageur, he’s the second best voyageur, he doesn’t have a passcode on his phone, he’s the guy who accidentally became too important at work, he’s would do great as a mcdonald’s manager.

WAIT BECAUSE HAYDEN PIKE IS SO HAPPY TO BE GOING TO HELL!!!! like often it is the case that someone is dating someone who treats them like shit and their friends are always saying something but they ignore it but the only one ilya treats like shit is HAYDEN HIMSELF and even that is like light chirping AND HAYDEN STARTED IT. that man NEEDS to get over himself. also it’s fine to not really like your friend’s partner but the hostile way that hayden does it is like actively mean to both ilya AND SHANE!!!! just go to hell right now!!!!

hayden pike is a bit too happy to be going to hell because what do you mean your Best Friend is finally happy in a relationship and you’re so pissy about it that you’re actively encouraging your other friend who’s trying to set him up with people because he’s unaware of the relationship. so actually hayden your line is “haha, shane’s just in love with hockey as always. no need to set him up jj 🙂‍↔️” WHAT ARE WE DOING????

the concept of hollanov wife line joint golf trip (yes, the photos of mpp playing golf with crosby just crossed my desk. how could you tell?)

getting real deep about ilya seeing russia in other places because even tho he has no intention of returning even if it didn’t mean imprisonment, it was still the country that raised him an he still has some love for it even if it’s mostly melancholy and nostalgia. something like looking out the window on the bus and being struck by the feeling that the sky is the exact same gray it was when he was ten and driving to his hockey game, just like he’s doing right then, just years and miles apart

ilya rozanov is like a little flower to me while shane hollander is like a cute worm sticking out of an apple in a children’s book illustration

my take on the hudcon met gala looks is that i don’t think my friends have ever seen me act this horny

when the fic burger comes with a side of the 2017-2018 season where ilya still plays for boston fries and a shane being bad at sexting shake