UNDERTAKER

were they still waiting for their son to come home? did they wonder why his calls and letters had stopped? how many letters had they sent to shinra, addressed to zack? probably shredded on-sight, or in the bottom drawer of someone’s desk. he didn’t want to dwell on that - better not to put himself in their shoes, he might end up venturing down the same path cissnei had taken. he had to stay back and stay objective and right now two things were glaringly clear.

first thing - guilt was keeping her tied to gongaga. guilt for not being able to get to them before the military had. and second thing - if she kept returning, she was going to get herself and fair’s parents killed. shinra was not above using overt force … he’d learned that the hard way; drop an entire plate in order to destroy one back-alley bar. it was the way of the world they lived in - a hand grenade to get rid of an anthill. 

’ you can’t stay here with them, cissnei. you know that as well as i do … you may as well shoot them yourself if you stay. ’

her quip about making the chase harder for him had a small smirk tugging at the corner of reno’s mouth - not all too long ago she’d been the one tracking him down. and she’d had one hell of a knack for it too, she’d always managed to find him before rude or the others too. he just … well, he’d never factored in that the tables would be turned like this. she had abandoned her post. you didn’t get to do that with shinra. they told you when it was time to retire and they decided if retirement was out of the question and liquidation an option instead.  looking down at her when she finally turned to look at him and in that instant reno hated her. hated her for asking a question she knew the answer to. hated that she wanted him to say the words aloud … and he hated that it took him barely a moment’s hesitation before he answered.

’ if you come back willingly, you’ll be put into lockdown or kept in custody. i doubt the directors will approve the turks overseeing it after everything that’s happened, so that means it’ll be a custody overseen by one of their divisions. ’

not like before where the turks took care and ownership of their own. scarlet and heidegger were still shouting for their heads to roll on the best of days, there was no way they’d let them handle this themselves. and knowing those two, they’d take their disdain towards the turks out on her. which, by company mantra, was what was deserved if you deserted your post, right?

heh. ask no questions and he’d tell no lies.

reaching into his pocket, reno took out a small burner phone and held it out to cissnei, ’ there are numbers saved in it already. others who left. ’ rod. emma. freya. balto. most who’d left after that order. ones who had managed to stay beneath the radar … ones who might be able to help her adjust.

     The answer alone she always knew, yet hearing it was like having pain through her heart, broken and constantly aching. But the thing was... Reno was right, in this exact situation, he was right.  

     ‘ You can’t stay here with them, Cissnei. You know that as well as I do... You may as well shoot them yourself if you stay. ‘

     She couldn’t imagine doing it literally, but the twisted part was there was a time she would have. Yet, Cissnei had made the mistake of allowing herself to open up to someone, get close to someone outside of the Turks and it shredded her apart every second she thought about it. Was there a part of her that missed it... maybe? The dirty work, not so much... maybe it was the company of the other Turks that she had worked alongside for so many years. Just like how even in the face of Reno, there was a feeling of comfort from seeing someone she knew, worked with, and had grown fond of. But damn... did those words cut her.

     Maybe she needed someone outside of her world to help her see that her actions were foolish, the actions of someone who would get themselves hurt, as well as others around her. For a moment, the ex-Turk glanced down at the ground, but only for a moment. Ciss found herself looking back up at Reno, she took notice of the small smirk that had to begin to form at his lips. Even in a situation like this, it was nice to have a simple moment to lighten it up. Even if it didn’t last all that long.  

      ❝I see.❞ It didn’t surprise her, the punishment for leaving as she did was usually worse. If she came back willingly it seemed like less than what it would be if Reno had to drag her in. But either way... she didn’t want to return. Not now... not ever. A hand moved to rest on her hip the other was rested by her side. The real question was... what would he do? Would this moment of peace between two old coworkers come to an end with a possible battle? She had seen Reno fight, she never wanted to be the person on the opposing side.  

     The air hung heavy for a moment as her mind raced, wondering- what would be the next course of action?

     Dresses. They simply weren't her fashion, though from time to time on very rare occasion Cissnei would be seen wearing something besides her traditional Turk suit, dresses weren't one of them. If it had been her decision, she would have appeared in her normal attire, a suit was excellent for an event like this, but it had been Tseng who was insistent that they wear something different to this event.

     Her cheeks were somewhat shaded, evident across her pale flesh. It looked absurd on her, but it was the only selection she had, otherwise she wouldn't have arrived... and to some extent, she wished she hadn't bothered. But it was her obligation.

     Zack being here only made the feeling more apparent, for some reason, though she knew well the reason, only made it worse. Despite his perfect mannerisms when they were near each other, as well as when she watched from afar, she half expected him to make fun of the dress itself. There was something about seeing someone in the same attire and then seeing them in something different that could change the perspective of someone. Not that her own had changed to him.

     She had to admit... he looked nice in his dress suit. Out of the years, she had never seen him wear something like that, yet, it fit him perfectly and looked correct on him. The corner of her lips hinted at a smile, could she imagine him wearing something like that given him being a Turk rather than a SOLDIER? It was an interesting thought, but Zack held so much innocence and naiveness that being someone who did the dirty job without asking a question just didn't fit his personality.

     A long sigh was drawn out.

          Here || @warofthebeasts

      It raced against her chest, each beat from her heart felt like it was slamming against her ribcage and taking every breath she so desperately fought to get. Her legs were beginning to feel weak from the amount of running she had been doing. She was surprised her heart hadn't burst yet. Cissnei found herself stumbling over her feet, her hands desperately patting her attire for a weapon that she hadn't destroyed in all this process of her previous battle.

      There was nothing. Her pace slowed down to look back at the male who followed. Silver-white hair that seemingly glowed in the moonlight, piercing eyes that struck fear inside of her. A deep breath was taken.

Here || @kunselxsoldier

     The pain coursed through the left side of her face, it was well beneath the flesh and she knew for a fact by tomorrow if not in the next few hours it would bruise. Cissnei hadn't realised that even after the enemy had been defeated she had been simply standing there, the process of what had happened still played in her mind over and over again like a movie on repeat.

     ❛ i just wanna make sure you’re okay . ❜

     @tsurugixbuster

     It clung to her clothes. Leaving little room for movement, above all, every movement she did offer was painful. But, the fight wasn't over. It was far from over. Their paths crossing seemed to be fate's way of having them interact with one another. A constant way to assure the Turk and SOLDIER would continue to build onto the friendship they had created over the years, and the bond that wavered her usual line of business.

     Red. It couldn't be seen past the black uniform she wore, but the warmth of blood and pain let her know that damage had been done. As to how bad it truly was, she was still unsure.

     Survival had kicked in. Maybe it was due to her line of work and lack of orders is that was going to lead her to stay and possibly... even die.

          "We don't gotta die so soon."

     Reality hit. Despite her acknowledgement of Zack being there... she had nearly forgotten him being there. Her contribution to the cost was usually part of her job... but this had nothing to do with the Turks. It was just the wrong place at the right time for her to side with Zack. And it looked like he knew his limits, as well as her own.

     "Yeah... I guess you're right, lead the way out. We've already gained some distance."

send me a ‘dibs’ if you are ridiculously attached to me as an rp partner  @douceamerefleur

send me a ‘dibs’ if you are ridiculously attached to me as an rp partner @tsurugixbuster

          “Hey! No need to go killing anyone, I’m here to stay.” 

»» To follow that up. I really appreciate hearing that! I really enjoy being able to interact with you. I can say that ‘dibs’ goes both ways here! 

                                              Here || @tsurugixbuster

          The weight of work was beginning to take its toll on her body. She recalled staring out the window for a long time. The sky’s clouds were a dark grey as the wind began to stir just slightly against the vehicle moments before small droplets of rain began to come down. Their drops lightly pattered against the window, sending it slowly running down the sides of it before disappearing elsewhere. Her eyelids had begun to grow heavy, each blink lasting a bit longer than the last, before unknowingly, she had fallen asleep. Her body had swayed uncomfortably where she sat before it took comfort and proper rest when leaning over to lay her head upon Zack’s shoulders.

          A small bump in the road had caused Cissnei to awaken, her eyes blinked a few times to adjust to the new lighting. Where there had once been grey skies with rain, there were now blue skies with a beaming sun in the distance. Another bump caused her to sway before hearing Zack’s voice fill the vehicle’s interior. 

          It took her a moment to realise what was being said, but in the moment of processing she had turned, her chin remained on his shoulder while her eyes turned to look at his face. The sun’s rays almost made it look like his face was glowing, as did his eyes in the right lighting. But, as she began to fully process and properly wake up she could feel her cheeks flush before sitting up properly. As a distraction, she ran her fingers across her suit to fix any wrinkles that could have formed from sleeping before clearing her throat. 

                                     Here || @yaffee

          Guilt. An emotion that had a way of seeping into a person's very being, creating pain and regret as time continued. It could be masked for a long time, just as any other burdening emotion could, but everyone had a breaking point. As a Turk, there were multiple tasks, instances, and missions where Cissnei was left no other option but to follow direct orders. And sometimes those orders lead to the death of innocence, and at times, countless lives. It was all part of the job, they did the dirty work, she had been raised to do these sorts of things, so shouldn't she be able to handle the burden?

          She thought so. But she was wrong.

          After she had left on vacation time, she went under the radar. The thought of returning was ceasing with each passing day. But with each day alone, or at least what felt to be alone, her thoughts picked at her. Even in the company of others, it worsened. And finally, she broke. Worse, she broke in front of someone, not alone, words flowed just as her tears had to the female unfortunate enough to see, Yufi. Being a suit, she hadn't expected sympathy, a kick while the dog was down, tell her how awful she was, no redemption, worthless. Everything she thought of herself she waited to hear from the other woman. Yet, those words never left her lips. Instead, what came was... comforting.