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i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair!

it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head.

but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want.

so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail.

he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut.

i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair.

but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah.

My name is Lizzie and I wanted to give a little about me to help you understand why I chose to train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and what the sport means to me. I get asked all the time why I would choose a sport so male dominated, a sport where you “roll around” with guys twice - three times my size, why I chose a sport with a high injury rate, and why I didn’t simply take up dance. The answer you might be expecting is “she likes UFC” or “she’s trying to find her husband in a gym” believe it or not there are ladies that their main task at hand is flirting with the guys in the spandex outfits. None of those answers are correct, and what I’m going to share I’ve come to accept and I am able to talk about a lot better than I used to. 

Take you back 14 years ago to a young adolescent girl hanging with her friend after school one day, and that friend thinking he had the right to take the adolescent girls innocence and safety away. To spare the details I was assaulted that day and that day changed my life forever. I didn’t realize how big an impact that day had on my life until I was older in High School and started having anxieties, depression, an eating disorder and all around felt like I couldn’t control things. That feeling of safety was no longer there, the feeling of having my life under control was not an option, the only thing I could control at that time was food. I chose not to eat much of it and chose to go on the treadmill 2 hours a day. The experience I went through caused me to have to grow up a little sooner, I had to understand there are bad people in this world and that bad person could be your best friend, a family member, a neighbor, that person could be anyone and I was on high alert. 

As I got older, out of high school and into college I had high anxiety around men. I’m a small girl, I saw what a guy could do, I saw that I didn’t know what to do I couldn’t stop anything from happening. That’s when I started hearing about Ronda Rousey, I watched her fights, I read her book, I looked up to her because she was a woman in a primarily male dominated sport and she was kicking serious ass. Thats when I found Jiu-Jitsu. The idea of learning how to defend myself when I’m in close quarters with someone I don’t want to be with, learning how to use someones body against them, their clothes, learning how to dislocate joints and choke someone who was in a position of dominance if I was on my back. Learning things that had 12 year old Lizzie known, could have made a difference. 

I tried a facility out a few years back and just didn’t feel like it was the right fit for me, I got discouraged because I knew I wanted to learn this sport, I had such an attraction to it I felt like I was meant to learn. Then a new local gym opened up and it was small, it was new, and the owner was friendly every time I messaged with my hundreds of questions. I was nervous, a piece of me was scared to “roll around” with guys, not sure if it would trigger anything, not sure how comfortable I would feel. I decided to try his Womens Only class first, the class right after was with the guys and girls, they had an odd number and I was convinced to stay. That’s when I fell in love with this facility. The guys cared about teaching me, they were caring, funny, and non-intimidating individuals. I found my family. I came to find out that my small size is actually beneficial in different ways when it comes to this sport, the sport was made for small people. Size doesn’t matter (well maybe a little). 

I am always posting about why women need to join the sport, and I’m sure people don’t really understand why I push for women so hard, but this is why. You never think you’ll need to know how to defend yourself from an attack until you’re placed in that situation and you realize you can’t fight. Had I known even the simple move of shrimping, I could have pushed him away from me, punched and kicked and ran. Could I have known how to trap him while I was on my back I could have made him unconscious with enough time to run. In this day and age with so much violence on women, so many assaults, I have such a strong passion to get women involved with Jiu-Jitsu. 

I know people have worse stories than mine, I’m not looking for any pity, I’m not looking for any attention, I’m simply looking to encourage women to try something new, something that could save their life. Self defense classes are cool and all, but taking a 2 hour self defense class will not save you. You will not retain what you learned if you’re attacked. You need muscle memory, you need to have practiced the movements repeatedly and against someone who’s bigger than you. You need to train. 

It’s bri, I promise

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‘IT HAD NEVER BEEN DONE ON TELEVISION BEFORE’: THE ORAL HISTORY OF BREAKING BAD