he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sade Olutola
ellievsbear
Not today Justin
Andulka
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Product Placement
d e v o n
tumblr dot com
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Kaledo Art
Origami Around
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KIROKAZE
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@nomoremrniceguy
Women... creators of the double standard.
The reason women are so obsessed with body image is because they tend to be so narcissistic. Rather than go the self-improvement route, they play the blame game; usually blaming the media, fashion, and always Barbie.
The real difference is, if both Barbie & He-Man got fat, he'd still be a hero and savior of the universe, while she'd just be some girl that used to be hot.
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So you work hard, and want to move to a nice neighborhood, then that nice neighborhood starts turning into the neighborhood you're trying to leave....
This is tantamount to affirmative action for housing. This will only hurt people who's communities this is forced upon... aka, the people who worked hard to live there. Thanks obama.
Sounds about right.
President Obama wants to compare his son, and himself 30 years ago to Trayvon Martin? Sure, because we all know 30 years ago Obama was a violent teen, who's Twitter handle was "NO_LIMIT_NIGGA", had criminal past, smoked weed, drank Sizzurp, and then attacked a man who was looking out for his neighbor’s safety. Right.
If he wants to put himself in the role of troubled youth… then how about he claims to be De’Marquise Elkins, or Dante Robinson and 15-year-old Justin Robinson , or the hundreds of teens shot every year in Detroit? Oh that’s right…. because he’s only making these comparisons out of his own bias. He’s clearly pandering to the lowest common denominator. In this case, that includes the misinformed, emotional masses, and people with a racial chip on their shoulders. And the reason he’s making these statements…. for his own POPULARITY!
America
United States
Strongest nation on Earth for 67 years and counting
Highest GDP on Earth
Worth 51% of the global economy
Largest navy in the world
Has military bases on 1/3rd of the Earth
Only country with a functioning railgun
30 years technologically superior to any other opposing nation's military on Earth
Only military that has the industrial and technological capacity to mass produce unmanned drones
Developing a new generation of spaceships
Only country to have been to the Moon
Only country with a private sector actively working in space
Global center of the arts, humanities, education, finance, commerce, business, warfare, technology, industry, culture, politics and communication
Owns the most cities on the World Cities ranking chart
Won WWII singlehandedly
Never lost a war in its 237 year history (Vietnam didn't win; look at them and look at the US now)
Leader of the free world
Don't like us? No problem. At the end of the day, you are all American people. You follow our elections. You eat our food. You watch our movies and television shows. You wear our clothes. You copy our vernacular. You access American websites. You copy our Constitution and our laws. You read our books, ponder our art, use our weapons, drive our cars. The global economy is based on the US Dollar. Our military maintains bases on your soil. When our President speaks, you listen. You are ALL American people.
I was sent this the other day, and it's just funny to see it all laid out like this. After traveling around the world, and seeing the constant disdain for The United States online, I can't help but laugh at the hypocritical bullshit that's behind it all. Almost all these people who bash the United States are like selective vegans (or most vegans in general) lecturing everyone else's eating habits.
School Shootings can be fun too!
If your gun is a slice of pizza!....? Wait, what?
So, as if people don't overreact enough these days, a 10 year old boy is forced to sit at an isolated silent lunch table for an entire semester after "waving around a slice of pizza that looked like a gun". (TOTALLY SERIOUS news article) Meanwhile, he never threatened or said anything derogatory.
"The kid across the table from him said it looked like a gun so he picked it up and started shooting it in the air," she told Nashville's News 2 Investigates.
I'm guessing it looked something like this.... but instead of guns, it was pepperoni PIZZA! Which, truly sounds terrifying.
He's being punished because "some students reported he was making some threatening hand gestures, that he was shooting other kids at the table and they reported it to a teacher"
This is the other great quote that I don't understand... "he was shooting other kids at the table".
What was he shooting the with, pepperonis?
Were there any survivors?
How the fuck can he shoot anyone with a slice of fucking pizza?!?!
This actually happened. Ten years ago nobody would think anything of this. Just imagine how absurd schools & people will react to things in tn years from now. Gun shaped pizza is serious now, but in the future, you'll go to prison for it.
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Not sure if these are meant to be...
Common sense
Proper etiquette
Racist
And you know exactly who I'm talking about in the movie theaters...
As much as I'd love for this to play out somewhere, I don't think vegans live in the wild. Well, not unless there are venomous snakes lurking around vegan restaurants or pretentious supermarkets.
Sure, people are free to eat whatever they choose, and although the vegan stereotype exists (you know the one I'm talking about), I just enjoy the little bits of irony like this picture. Well, that and adding animal protein into our diet was essential in brain development, and ultimately our evolution from lesser primates.
THIS.
Sure, maybe your cat will do something funny or cute once in a while, and perhaps if you're lucky, it'll be YouTube worthy... but more than likely you have a cunty pet.
Had to mock one more...
As hilariously needy as these "I need feminism" posts are, this one was just too good to pass up.
"I need feminism because of a certain website teaching my husband and all his frat brothers that my place is in the kitchen, I need to make sandwiches, and that when I'm at a bar the only goal is to get me home and get in my pants. Sorry, I'm not majoring in crafting or cooking and I'm not YOUR sex play toy"
I don't even know where to begin...
---You're blaming a "certain website" for teaching your husband about societal gender roles that have been around for centuries? Sure, lets just forget about civilization, evolution, and society, because clearly this "certain website" was the first to establish any sort of gender roles.
---You married a frat bro. Right there you lose the right to whine about him being mean, douchey, or an asshole, because it comes with the territory. Had you have chosen a nice guy, then you wouldn't be in this mess, but like most, you chose the cliche asshole. You made your bed now lie in it making more hilarious feminism memes. *Also, why does your husband still live with all his frat brothers?
---Perhaps going to bars with fraternity types to get drunk isn't the best place to meet men. And maybe, just maybe.... i know this is a long shot.... but maybe your awful choice in men is leading you home with guys who only care about getting in your pants.
This is just laughable. If I only dated kleptomaniacs, then I shouldn't be surprised if things went missing around my home... SO I DON'T DO IT! Putting yourself in these positions, you shouldn't be surprised about the outcome. It's not "feminism" that these people need, it's common sense.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
Basically my reaction...
Apparently there's some new "movement" by women hoping to abolish women slavery. Oh wait, there is no women slavery. Maybe it's just about wanting to be treated like men.... yes, this again, and again; and again now in 2012.
It doesn't "just happen", it's earned. It's earned by not using your sex to your advantage, and then creating these childish campaigns when you feel like it's a disadvantage.
So you need "feminism" for time management? Nobody is forcing you to have children, but you want to have your cake and eat it too? Everyone, man or woman has to make choices, and sacrifices in their life, but apparently "feminism" is your special treatment loophole to get out of making those difficult decisions & sacrifices.
THEN FUCKING TEXT HIM! No guy in the world is going to withhold cock if you text him before he texts you.
Shortly after this "Who Needs Feminism" campaign started spreading around the Duke University campus, people started defacing the signs. Glad to see people still have senses of humor. (Although, I'm sure the same people behind this feminism campaign will follow up with another absurdly anti-humor campaign targeting people with a sense of humor.)
These signs are laughable along with all these people asking for special treatment. If you want equality, then act like it. Don't hold up cute notes crying about things that upset you, meanwhile women treat each other worse than any man. Between the bickering, backstabbing, and gossip, it's amazing you have the gall to start a campaign about how oppressed you are by men & society in general. Each gender has it's own advantages, and EVERYBODY uses them at one time or another... so claiming you want equality, while using your sex to your advantage makes you a hypocrite.
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Are you fucking kidding me?
Yes, this is real. (I looked it up. Otherwise it wouldn't be that funny/sad.) So, for $25 you get a cd with eight tracks of positive backround noise and "encouragement", and three shitty puzzle pieces that don't even belong to a fucking puzzle!
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I wouldn't give this CD a shot. I'm sure it would be great to listen to while...
Beating up 5 year olds.
Running people over for standing in the street.
Beating your wife.
Eating a Pizzone
Taking a shit (after the Pizzone)
Holy shit, look at this stupid kid!
Seriously, it's one thing if you adopt a dog or something and it can't quite master a few tricks, but this is a kid, you're stuck with this 30lb bag of fail for at least 18 years. After this performance, I'd either put his ass back on the adoption block, or drop him in the ocean somewhere.
Lisa Lampanelli is awesome. I've always liked her as a comic because she calls things how they are, and can tear anyone a new asshole just as well as one of the guys. This is just a one minute clip of her at a "celebrity" roast with one of the best Rihanna jokes I've heard so far.
The greatest movie ever made is coming out next year...
This movie will win every Oscar forever
Awards shows will have to shut down after this movie because nothing will ever beat it.
This movie will win a Nobel Prize for being so fucking awesome.
After winning every award at every award show, this movie will go on to win The Superbowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, World Cup, UFC Heavyweight Championship, Indy 500, Kentucky Derby, Gold Medals at the Olympics, and even the Westminster Dog Show
Jesus will resurrect just to see this movie
Even Aliens will visit earth just to watch it
This movie will be so awesome even black people won't talk through it
Watching this movie will regrow your hair (and possibly grow you a thick luxurious mustache)
This movie will cure cancer
The trailer will make women miscarry
After watching this movie women who are pregnant will immediately induce labor, and women who aren’t pregnant will spontaneously become pregnant with the manliest babies EVER!
If Chuck Norris watched even a single frame of this movie, his head would explode
Movie theaters will require you to wear a helmet in order to watch this movie, so that your head is not caved in by the sheer awesomeness of it
Small children and the elderly won’t physically or mentally be able to withstand the awesomeness of this movie… Even the opening credits would destroy them in their seats.
This movie will melt your face off
Grizzly bears will come from the forests to see this movie (they won’t have to buy tickets because they can fucken eat you)
When this movie comes out on DVD, it will replace every bible in hotel rooms around the world.
The movie will steal your virginity
This movie will fix the US financial crisis
Look at this fat fucken cat!
It's bad enough that you own a cat... let alone the fact that you have this lame ass "Doggy Door" installed for it. Now your shitty "pet" is too fat to fit though the fucken door? FAIL.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Wilson : Man of Mustache Episode 1: Fuck Yeah!
I found this new site that allows you to make little animated shorts. So I've decided to make my own series... (or make a few ridicilous shorts until I get distracted and find something else new to play with.)
Wilson: Man of Mustace - THE SERIES! (tumblr)
Bake me a cupcake, and do the fucking dishes WHORE!
Yeah... "try my muffin, it's really yummy" ...WTF?