IDK

When you join tumblr you think all the weird posts are made to be funny but at some point this is just how your thought process morphes into and now you start sounding like the them in your head

if he has abs he doesnt care about you

men with abs aren’t capable of love

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

before there were blorbos there were little meow meows and before there were little meow meows there were cinnamon rolls

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

whatever.

i dont caaaaaare

google search how to make someone explode

i think the world would be a happier place if we were all permanently stoned

the lottery by shirley jackson

hold on i have to read something real quick

dude

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

Tiny quarterank throwsa smallest ball ever ?

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender