Life's a bowl of Cherries

“I’ll give him your number anyway!” my mother said as she hugged me tightly in the airport terminal.

It didn’t matter how many times I told both of my parents that I was moving out to L.A. to get a fresh start.  I wanted to relocate somewhere that I didn’t know a single person…a way of reinventing myself and taking a new path in life.  That didn’t matter to my mom.  "I’ll worry to death with you being in a strange city not knowing anyone!  Linda’s best friend from college, Ted, lives out in L.A.  Maybe you can at least meet up for dinner every few weeks and go the the movies, or something.“

“Mom!” I was incredulous.  "Linda’s 62.  That means Ted’s around that age too.“

"So?

"What are we gonna have in common?  Besides, I’m sure he’s not going to want to have to entertain some 34 year old kid.”

Mom just gave me a look of disapproval.  "Hon, Ted’s a very nice man.  I’m sure he’ll be glad to show you around L.A.  I’m not saying you have to become joined at the hip and spend tons of time together.“  All I could do is sigh heavily and roll my eyes.   There was no getting through to her.  "I don’t care what you say.  I’m going to have Linda give Ted your number.”

“Yeah, yeah…” I said, dismissively.  We proceeded to say our goodbyes and then I boarded the plane and headed westward to start my new life.

It took me a couple weeks to get settled-in in my condo and get acclimated to my new job, but I was finally starting to feel like I was “home.”  I’d just gotten home from work one evening when my phone rang.  I pulled it out of my pocket and didn’t recognize the number, so I promptly hit the “Decline” button, tossed the phone on my bed, and went about changing out of my work clothes.  Nearly a minute later, I heard my phone beep, indicating that whoever had called had left a voice mail message.  I picked my phone back up and put my voice mail box on speaker phone, assuming it was something related to work.

“Hi, Jason.  This is Ted Masterson.”  I rolled my eyes.  I figured Mom would forget about giving my number to him.  Apparently, I was wrong.  "I’m a friend of your mother’s.  She said you had just recently relocated here to L.A. and might want someone to show you some of the city’s finer points.  If you’d like, we can meet for dinner sometime.  I know a couple of nice restaurants near your condo…“  Really?!  She told him where I live?!  "When you get a chance, get back to me if you’d like to get together.  I look forward to hearing from you.”

It may have been rude of me, but I immediately deleted the phone messages.  I was more than a little irked that my mom had given this man my contact information when I was so adamant that I didn’t want her to.  I’m a 34 year old.  I know how to make friends and meet new people when I’m ready to.  So…  I just went on about my business and my life.

Then, two weeks later, another call comes into my phone.  This time, I recognized the number.  "Hello?“

"Hey, sweetie!” came my mother’s excited voice on the other end.  "How’s life out in Hollywood?“

I had to laugh to myself.  My mom was just like me before I moved out here.  People who aren’t from here have no concept of just how big L.A. actually is.  I didn’t live anywhere near Hollywood or even Beverly Hills.  But when you’re not from here, just assume all parts of the city are within a few miles of each other.  "Everything’s great out here, Mom!”

“Good!  Have you gotten all settled-in in your new place?”

“Yes.  I’m all squared away…”

“And your job…  How’s that going?”

What is this, 20 Questions?  "I’m loving it.  Things couldn’t be better!  How are things back home?  How’s Dad?“

"Everything’s great here!  Your father had to work late, but he wanted me to tell you he misses you.  We both can’t wait until you come back home for a visit.  Or until you invite us out to visit you.  Hint, hint…!”

I rolled my eyes.  "Real subtle, Mom!“

"Well, you’ll never invite us if I don’t prompt you to!”

“Give me a little more time to get my bearings here.  Then, you and Dad can come out and I’ll show you around.”

“Speaking of getting your bearings, I understand that Ted called you a couple weeks ago.  When are the two of you meeting up?”

“Fuck!” I mouthed to myself and shook my fist in frustration.  "Uh…  We’re meeting later this week for dinner.“

"Don’t lie to your mother, Jason.  I already know you never called him back.”

“What…did you wiretap my condo, or something?”

“Never mind that.  I don’t want you to be out there without a friend.”

“Mom, please.  I’m making friends at work.  It’s only a matter of time before I meet more people.  I’m going to be fine!”

“Just, please call Ted.  I think the two of you would really hit it off and he’s more than willing to show you around and introduce you to people.”

I could see this was a battle I was never going to win.  It was either keep saying no and constantly be pestered about calling this man, or call now, get it over with, and then be done with him.  "Fine.  I’ll call him back later.“

"How about now?  I talked to him right before I called you.  He’s expecting your call. ”

“Fine, whatever…”  I felt like an eleven year old being scolded by a parent.

“And try to sound at least a little polite when you call him.”

“Yes, Mother dear,” I said in a mockingly cheerful tone.  A short time later, we ended our call and I went back through my received calls until I found Ted’s number.

“I’ll give him your number anyway!” my mother said as she hugged me tightly in the airport terminal.

It didn’t matter how many times I told both of my parents that I was moving out to L.A. to get a fresh start.  I wanted to relocate somewhere that I didn’t know a single person…a way of reinventing myself and taking a new path in life.  That didn’t matter to my mom.  "I’ll worry to death with you being in a strange city not knowing anyone!  Linda’s best friend from college, Ted, lives out in L.A.  Maybe you can at least meet up for dinner every few weeks and go the the movies, or something.“

“Mom!” I was incredulous.  "Linda’s 62.  That means Ted’s around that age too.“

"So?

"What are we gonna have in common?  Besides, I’m sure he’s not going to want to have to entertain some 34 year old kid.”

Mom just gave me a look of disapproval.  "Hon, Ted’s a very nice man.  I’m sure he’ll be glad to show you around L.A.  I’m not saying you have to become joined at the hip and spend tons of time together.“  All I could do is sigh heavily and roll my eyes.   There was no getting through to her.  "I don’t care what you say.  I’m going to have Linda give Ted your number.”

“Yeah, yeah…” I said, dismissively.  We proceeded to say our goodbyes and then I boarded the plane and headed westward to start my new life.

It took me a couple weeks to get settled-in in my condo and get acclimated to my new job, but I was finally starting to feel like I was “home.”  I’d just gotten home from work one evening when my phone rang.  I pulled it out of my pocket and didn’t recognize the number, so I promptly hit the “Decline” button, tossed the phone on my bed, and went about changing out of my work clothes.  Nearly a minute later, I heard my phone beep, indicating that whoever had called had left a voice mail message.  I picked my phone back up and put my voice mail box on speaker phone, assuming it was something related to work.

“Hi, Jason.  This is Ted Masterson.”  I rolled my eyes.  I figured Mom would forget about giving my number to him.  Apparently, I was wrong.  "I’m a friend of your mother’s.  She said you had just recently relocated here to L.A. and might want someone to show you some of the city’s finer points.  If you’d like, we can meet for dinner sometime.  I know a couple of nice restaurants near your condo…“  Really?!  She told him where I live?!  "When you get a chance, get back to me if you’d like to get together.  I look forward to hearing from you.”

It may have been rude of me, but I immediately deleted the phone messages.  I was more than a little irked that my mom had given this man my contact information when I was so adamant that I didn’t want her to.  I’m a 34 year old.  I know how to make friends and meet new people when I’m ready to.  So…  I just went on about my business and my life.

Then, two weeks later, another call comes into my phone.  This time, I recognized the number.  "Hello?“

"Hey, sweetie!” came my mother’s excited voice on the other end.  "How’s life out in Hollywood?“

I had to laugh to myself.  My mom was just like me before I moved out here.  People who aren’t from here have no concept of just how big L.A. actually is.  I didn’t live anywhere near Hollywood or even Beverly Hills.  But when you’re not from here, just assume all parts of the city are within a few miles of each other.  "Everything’s great out here, Mom!”

“Good!  Have you gotten all settled-in in your new place?”

“Yes.  I’m all squared away…”

“And your job…  How’s that going?”

What is this, 20 Questions?  "I’m loving it.  Things couldn’t be better!  How are things back home?  How’s Dad?“

"Everything’s great here!  Your father had to work late, but he wanted me to tell you he misses you.  We both can’t wait until you come back home for a visit.  Or until you invite us out to visit you.  Hint, hint…!”

I rolled my eyes.  "Real subtle, Mom!“

"Well, you’ll never invite us if I don’t prompt you to!”

“Give me a little more time to get my bearings here.  Then, you and Dad can come out and I’ll show you around.”

“Speaking of getting your bearings, I understand that Ted called you a couple weeks ago.  When are the two of you meeting up?”

“Fuck!” I mouthed to myself and shook my fist in frustration.  "Uh…  We’re meeting later this week for dinner.“

"Don’t lie to your mother, Jason.  I already know you never called him back.”

“What…did you wiretap my condo, or something?”

“Never mind that.  I don’t want you to be out there without a friend.”

“Mom, please.  I’m making friends at work.  It’s only a matter of time before I meet more people.  I’m going to be fine!”

“Just, please call Ted.  I think the two of you would really hit it off and he’s more than willing to show you around and introduce you to people.”

I could see this was a battle I was never going to win.  It was either keep saying no and constantly be pestered about calling this man, or call now, get it over with, and then be done with him.  "Fine.  I’ll call him back later.“

"How about now?  I talked to him right before I called you.  He’s expecting your call. ”

“Fine, whatever…”  I felt like an eleven year old being scolded by a parent.

“And try to sound at least a little polite when you call him.”

“Yes, Mother dear,” I said in a mockingly cheerful tone.  A short time later, we ended our call and I went back through my received calls until I found Ted’s number.

I was curious as to exactly how Barbie’s face has changed across the 56-year span she’s been around.

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