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Acquired Stardust
almost home
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Peter Solarz
🪼
seen from India
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@mortalys

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Expected him to start flying
(via)
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
for context:
“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”
Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.
Hope yall like my abomination
That last one is fucking moving istg
at last. the gaydar
The only pride flag I care about anymore
Top 10 branches of science ranked by how bad it would suck to be killed by them (from best to worst)
Physics - probably the nicest just on the grounds of how fast that's gonna be. Like if you're a goner before any of the other sciences can get to you, you probably don't even have time to feel anything.
Biology - the most standard default way of dying. Most of the time it sucks but not badly enough to warrant you its own wikipedia page.
Geology - one of the oldest OG classics. Rock hits Og. Og is gone.
Psychology - slow tigers are chasing you.
Zoology - fast tigers are chasing you.
Sociology - idk me and the rest of the angry mob agree that you had it coming.
Chemistry - this is a hard one to place because there's a lot of variation. But anyhow you're getting undone on a cellular level.
Mathematics - how the fuck did you even do that.
Cosmology - why the fuck did you even do that?
Theology - what the fuck did you even do?
This is like ten episodes of Star Trek in a row.
I would like to argue that virology and microbiology deserve to be numbers 2 & 3. (Because not even Ebola tops death by radiation poisoning.)
work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

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https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw
ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.
The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.
"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.
Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.
Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.
We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."
I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.
I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.
But now the company holiday party is upon us.
And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.
I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.
I like that people have two reactions to this post.
Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”
Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU
And so it begins
Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.
Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”
I now see my mistake
Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.
My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating
Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂
By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now
This is the feedback I’ve been looking for
world heritage post
1/22/2022
i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”
came across this image on pinterest and straight up almost burst into tears…. vibes for JUNE
(getting a taste of my own medicine) actually this is okay. Is this what you guys have bene whining about? Jesus christ
One more for the collection. Book is Stars at Last by Jessica Jocelyn

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i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer
i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know
"what's going on in that head of yours?" nothing i want to be a part of
this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.
@hopepunk-humanity @wholesomepostarchive
10/7/2024
this did not age well
For comparison, here's the map of Covid deaths per capita:
A real Burger Eagle Institute Think Tank Goodness Index Report monent.
they want you to make fried rice
who is "they"
the wok left
how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

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how measurements work in canada (ie/ badly)
@/teaboot
This isn't even a joke it's just what we do
someone fired a bullet through our bathroom wall the other day when we were gone, which is scary (but probably accidental), but the weirdest part is that we can’t actually find the place where it entered from outside... the wall inside is fucked up and you can see the hole where it came through, but there is no corresponding entrance hole on the exterior of the house. somehow the outer paneling was undamaged.
I think the exterior of the house is asbestos siding which apparently hides bullet holes really well.
There’s also a dent on the opposite wall where the bullet bounced off, and it looks like it had a really bizarre trajectory. Anyway, the neighbors say it was from a car chase where bullets went flying everywhere, so I’m not actually worried beyond “wow hope that doesn’t happen near me again”.
This is the most American post I have ever seen
“someone fired a bullet through my asbestos from a car chase” yeah fair