Art And Depression

I recently came out as trans... My husband seems pretty supportive but I'm worried that it won't last. My friends were very nonchalant about it, saying they support me and love me, but it feels like they don't really care. I know we're all old and doing our own things now so it's hard to stay invested in each other's lives, but I feel just so alone right now. My husband makes an effort to use my new name and pronouns as much as possible, but since he's the only person I interact with every day it still feels weird and foreign to me. I wish I could just talk to my therapist, but I don't see her for another week. Once a month appointments aren't cutting it for me 😞 idk how to get seen more frequently, it seems like this is all that's available but idk if it's gonna be much help when I go so long without someone to talk to.

When I was a kid growing up my favorite color was blue. As a teenager, it was red, everything had to be red and black, and nothing else. As an adult now, it's been purple and grey...

Having an extra glass of wine to make sure I get my calories in for the day 🥂

My brain really said F you tonight. Literally sitting on the toilet tryna pee and my brain goes "(to my husband) everything you do is for us, and everything I do is for me" and I fucking exploded in tears... ON THE TOILET. Can I have a moment of peace!

I have good days, sometimes really good days, and during those days I stop and think to myself "why can't I just feel this way all the time?" Not even overly jubilant, just your average good. And on those days I can't even imagine how I could possibly feel as low as I do the rest of the time, especially on the really bad days. How is it possible that I can go from one to the other literally overnight?