as a control freak myself, i've naturally collected my fair share of control freaks around me. i know a lot of that comes from being an addict too (i'm still in active addiction, at least with nic and weed is more of a habitual thing but i wouldn't disagee if someone called me a 'weed addict' lol) cause one of the main driving forces behind addiction is a need for control.
in the last few years my brain has began to pickup and categorize behaviors i've witnessed amongst my peers. i think it's easy for me to recognize because a lot of the behaviors are things i've done before, albeit in different ways or different contexts. but nonetheless, it's still similar enough for me to spot it
somehow breaking it down like this for me makes it easier for me to not become the worst version of myself and directly antagonize them in an attempt of control myself. i wonder if that's the whole basis of psychology and psychiatry lmfao. i could bully you for being fucked up but i rather figure out why
in my experience i've come across 2 types of control freak. for brevity, i'll call each one CF
usually really sociable, actually fun to be around most times, at least in public. they're usually really on top of their shit and expect everyone around them to kinda be too. unsurprisingly, they're kinda unpleasant to be around in private after a while. in my experience, i'll find that some people like this will try really hard to relate to me on some level and get irritated when they can't figure out what makes me "tick". i recognize this behavior as fishing for a reaction because it's something i do and when i recognize someone doing it to me, i think it's funny. they can come off as kinda shallow, but me too sometimes so whatever. they're always fun to gossip with, of course. i find that i usually end up befriending or dating people like this and there's a 50/50 chance it works out or ends miserably. they tend to be very insecure and it leaks out over time, but they seem to be better at masking with an air of self confidence that's attractive.
these types of people aren't the complete opposite, but there's enough differences that i felt the need to make another category. these traits could always overlap, and either way, it's just my own personal system.
this is also something that i feel like anyone can become if they're driven to a certain point and have no desire to change at all or during that time.
for lack of a better term, this is the crashout type.
from what i've seen: this is usually a person who already has a reputation for being 'bad' and thus decides to cement themselves in the image of being "bad" in order to gain an attempt at control. the more and more i saw this pattern of behavior the more it made sense to me, even if it looks convoluted at first glance. once i realized it's just for any piece of control, it clicked. still, it doesn't excuse some of the behaviors but it does explain them. these people can be sociable, but in my experience, they usually don't like it and mostly do it for potential benefits (i relate to this somewhat) where CF 1 seemed to, at least, enjoy the attention of socialization. they can seem careless which may come across as aloof and stoic to some so, these people can attract others but, it seems they don't know what to do with them once they have them. i've been friends with people like this or have had mutual friend situations with people like this and it usually goes really negatively. it's probably cause i can relate to a lot of the above behaviors so we're too similar to actually work out lmfao. however, one of the main differences i've had with CF 2's is the emotional responses
i guess the main difference is the level of emotional control one has over themselves and what they decide to do with it, it's all very interesting to me
