I’m always sad

Boredom, yet it overwhelms me. It’s drowning and dehydrating me, all at once. Gasping for air to find my lungs can’t expand any further. An aching silence of whispers and chanting demands of panic and frustration. In a deep, infinite void of absolute emptiness. I want to scream and shout and let the world know I’m in unbearable discomfort which I must escape. I feel if I look down, I may in fact see a gaping hole where my soul should be. Absent, hostile and inhabitable. So I drink. And I smoke. And I find life in the moments, in passion and love, in conflict and in torment. Putting myself in dangerous situations because it’s common nature to feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Back online after a year offline.