Carrots and Pudding

Best Western Plus in Elk City, OK.

Birthplace of Susan Powell, Miss America 1981, as evidenced by the sign I can  see from window on this Monday morning.

The hotel is unvacuumed, the bathroom sink is stopped up, there a piles of towels outside peoples’ rooms and outside it is disgustingly HOT.

Yet, I have a little kitchen with a big fridge and a toaster, so… I’m good.

Decent nite (for me); had the usual bagged eggs and uninspired toast this morning. 

Loaded up Edgar, had a nice chat with the two heifers at the front desk as I was asking for the 9th time if they could manage to get this visit on my rewards account… they couldn’t… I smiled and left.  Saw a really cute guy cutting the grass at some building on my way out, so took that as a good sign.

Edgar has been a very good boy throughout; no issues.  He  is liking the increased octane,  as you might imagine.  And, the regular windshield cleanings.

Oklahoma was mostly nice to look at on my way out with only ONE rest area that had services.  All the others are “parking” or “picnic” areas. 

Then, I got to Oklahoma City…unattractive and bustling… once past that was nice and on  into Arkansas. 

Which was and is, decidedly down-market.

One memorable sign from my drive:  “Toad Suck Park Exit 129”. 

Nobody uses their turn signal and everyone texts and drives.

Gas prices under $4 per gallon, so hellz yeah on that.

Hot as a motherf*ker.  Humid.  And, the hotel I am staying at… well… Wal-Mart is less than a mile away.  And, now I understand for whom Wal-Mart was created.  I’ll leave it there.

I am on the top floor and at the end of my hall is some sort of alarm that has been beeping nonstop since I got here.  Thankfully, I can’t hear it from my room. 

I did laundry at the hotel… had to dump some person’s stuff on the counter cuz they left it… and I used the gym.  Or, I tried.  The treadmill would just stop for no reason.  The eliptical looks as though it was put together by… well… me, cuz the pieces parts didn’t mesh well.  I did 5 minutes on each and called it a day.  There is a pool,  but that just seems like a whole thing I don’t want to get changed for.

One thing I enjoy about these trips is stopping at the stores and gas stations along the way.  Especially the off-the-freeway ones.  I am fascinated by the folks that work there. 

I mean…where do you live?  A nice lady at a Love’s had to guide me thru the right lid with the right cup ‘cuz I was so traumatized by one of their employees stocking a refrigerated case… ass to the wind, plumber’s butt galore.  And, this was a gal.

I have a new treat:  Large cup, fill ¾ way with regular unsweetened tea, then ¼ with sweet  tea and lots of ice.  Sweet tea is everywhere here.

I will strategize tomorrow, tomorrow morning.   Tennessee somewhere.  Pigeon Forge is too far for me tomorrow.  Cookeville seems more likely and they have some lovely state parks.

BUT… depending on how I feel, I might make it to Piegon Forge on Wednesday… and we know what’s there, right? 

Dollywood.  Stay tuned.

Bagged eggs this morning were, disgusting.

Damn birds still screeching.

Beuford in the breakfast room this morning; Fox news was on…extolling this or that about

T-Rump and  this guy was “Amen!-ing” and trying to engage me in conversation. 

I ignored him and instead concentrated on helping this gal who was making a waffle for the first time.  Then, this other gal who was dipping into the Chinese drywall scrambled eggs (I did warn her) jumped in and the three of us wished this waffle into existence.  It was a success.

Breakfast choices for me were limited… I already packed the Cheerios in the car… so I did a spoonful or two of sugared cereal, about ½ a carton of “light” peach yogurt, a corner of a biscuit and called it a morning.  I can eat trail mix in the car. 

And, I am making my famous Motel Peanut Butter and Jelly Sammiches.  Which are basically,  Dave’s Killer Bread that I brought with me, all-natural peanut butter that I brought with me… and jam from the breakfast room.  Skillfully and artfully assembled in my room and  wrapped in the extra plastic bag they provide for the ice bucket. 

How ya like me now?

I have confirmed it is Tuesday.  I had a fairly uneventful drive, stopped a few times to exercise… got my sweet tea fix (not as good at McDonald’s); almost got to go to another Buc-ee’s, but it was past the exit I took for… wait for it… The Thunderbird Motel in Cookeville, TN.  Yep.

It is as grand as you might think. 

My room smelled of… something… so, I got Febreze from the office.

The parking lot is busy… there is a Mexican restaurant across the parking lot… people like to drive thru here with loud music playing.

People also like to put their inside chairs on the balcony area. 

I just opened the door to a bit of fresh air in here and noticed some couple across the way making out next to their car.  I give them  a four.

I took this place cuz it was the only Best Western on my route in my driving time frame.  So, here I am and I will deal.  They have a TV, I have my sound soother and my Alexa to whiten up the noise… should be interesting.

I ordered a $16 grilled chicken salad from across the way… as the packaged salads I bought at Wal-Mart are crap…  and will promptly return to my room and lock myself in until morning.

Sign on the 40E in Tennesee:  “Bucksnort Exit 152”.

I think I will take a pass on Dollywood… 10 years ago it was $136 a nite at her DreamMore Resort.  It included a shuttle and a discount on the  park pass.

It is now $369 a nite at her Dream More Resort.

I would have to find another hotel, drive/park and pay for the admission.

I think I will just keep my memories of that time.

I passed an uneventful (surprisingly) nite.  The traffic noise was audible (honestly, the main drag is a nightmare).  The room still smells.  I have availed myself of the complimentary breakfast.  The ice machine is waaaaaay down the complex, so I will take my hike over there  shortly.  I mentioned a few of my room observations/concerns to Paul the Morning Manager… and he got extremely defensive and pissy, so  I dropped it. 

In another time and place, we probably would have dated.

Just took my hike to the ice machine… passing mounds of trash outside rooms and “privacy please” tags stuck somehow in door handle casings cuz there is no way to hang them.  I passed a cat lounging in a window (totally cute and a crowd stopper) and a man adding oil to his gasping Camry (I did offer some of my coolant, in case he needed it)

I left a Google review:

To be fair:  you DO get what you pay for.  The good:  nice shower, decent restaurant across the parking lot.  What appears to be a nice pool.  The complimentary breakfast was just fine.  The not-so-good:  tremendous noise from the street.  And, the parking lot from restaurant customers.  And, anyone who wanted to cruise thru the lot blasting music.  My room smelled.  Something like old pee and regret.  I asked the office for some Febreze.  Now, it just smells like vanilla-scented old pee and regret.  And, yes... I did find a bug.  Just one.  It WAS a bed bug.  I tore the whole bed apart and it was just one.  Must have been left behind by its teammates.  People like to move their inside chairs outside to the balcony and sit.  Lots of cigarette butts.  Piles of Guest trash outside the rooms.  The ice machine is VERY far away depending on where you are.  Opt for the top floor.   Paul, the morning Clerk is NOT having any of your whiny comments about anything, so don't bother, you overly-entitled Tourist. 

Well, I made it  to North Carolina.  I was trying to strategize the best option for lodging… then  realized the best place in  Winston is where I used to work (some of you might remember my stellar career as Wine and Cheese Guy); the Historic Brookstown Inn.   A lot pricer than my usual No-Tell-Motel stops… but I decided to go for it.  This is the place I stayed in NC when I originally came to scout it out as a possible relocation option… then, when I actually moved here for a couple of nights… I wound up getting a soft little job here for a few months… lots  of good memories.  Old Salem is right next door, chock-full of history and great walking paths.  I believe I am in the same little suite I was that first and second time as well.  Very nice, bed and bath  as you enter, then step down into a sitting area… if they would only turn these into apartments, I’d be so happy.

I brought in my bags and immediately extended my stay for another nite.

Mind you,  it is  only going to be Wednesday and Thursday nites… things might get a little less charming as the weekend approaches and Bridezillas move in for weekend weddings (from memory).

But, for now… this feels great.

Sleep has been odd the past few nites, but I have  been getting something, so I will take the win.

Edgar needs a bath, his key fob now seems to be doing strange things (at a rest stop, I hit the start button and the hatch opened… once I fiddled with the fob, it corrected itself… and then stopped working… sigh.  Hey, if that’s the only SNAFU on this trip thus far, I’m fine).   So, a visit to Subaru is in order.  As is a trip to my gym, my favorite antique mall, drive-bys of the two homes I owned when I  was here (I swear if I see Mozelle, I’m gonna plotz) and some general sight-seeing.  Dinner tonite with my good friend  David and possibly coffee with my sister Jeana in the AM before I head to High Point to see my brother and sister-in-law. 

So far, things  are aligning.

(Oh, and the free breakfast at The Historic Brookstown Inn is far superior to othes.  Real china, dining room, warm and fluffy bagged eggs…suck it, Best Western!)

Great day; went to the gym, visited past homes (my house on Fairview is a sad sight… I spotted a truck parked in the backyard and one whole tree is gone… funnily, Mozelle’s car was in her driveway… bullet dodged) and other haunts… both of the antique malls I loved,  got Edgar washed (and a bird promptly shat all over him), “did” downtown Winston, found  a great place for tee shirts (a printing place that also has a storefront… had a fantastic chat with the gal there); then had a lovely dinner with my good friend David at West End Café`…  came back to the room, then took a nice stroll down the path that goes by the hotel and paralells Old Salem.  Whew!

-Apologies for that very busy paragraph.

On  my way back from my walk I noticed a homeless man… who I swear I remember seeing 4 years ago, same area… the same guy that Di Lisio’s restaurant (where I did Thursday’s grilled chicken salad) feeds regularly.  I love that.

Anyhow, there he was… tucked in a stairwell… hot and humid outside… and as per usual, my heart breaks.  

Back to the hotel I trot; I loaded up a bag from a tourist shop in Santa Fe with hotel toilet paper, cold bottled water, granola bars, some fruit, packets of tuna, plastic utensils and plates/cups. Walked over and just greeted him respectfully, told him I hoped the provisions would come in handy and left.  He wasn’t very verbal I I hate the muss/fuss that goes along with hand-outs.  I mean… he never asked for it.  If you’re gonna do something (and I hope we all do, regardless of convenience) just do it cuz it’s the right thing to do.

I only mention it here in hopes that the next time you witness someone down on their game, you think of a way to add to their life. 

Guy and Ri keep supplies in their cars all the time.  I have taken to carrying extra food, water, toiletries… even socks. 

I also mention it because sometimes, you can be surprised.  At the gym today, there was  this guy hanging out on the curb.  Dirty backpack behind him.  Head in hands.  I went back to the car and loaded up all the stuff I had, headed over to him and asked him… “have you eaten today?”

Turns out he was just kind of a slob and waiting for his ride.

Ha! 

Take that Mister Do Good Rescuer of The Downtrodden! 

Just shows, you never know. 

So, I went in to the gym with a really odd assortment of stuff in my bag. 

I don’t give money.  I offer to buy food or beverages.  I ask what someone wants and then go get it.  The easiest request I got was, “a  Mountain Dew”. 

A simple pleasure, a treat, a comfort. 

Done. 

The sassiest?  A whole rotisserie chicken.  With sides.     

I stopped at Subaru today cuz Edgar is  really starting to hesitate when I start him… turns out, it’s prolly the battery.  I thought it was the starter.  The Service Dude told me highly unlikely on a 6 year old car, but battery… highly likely.

So, I bring him in tomorrow; I suppose I could do AutoZone, but I want an OEM battery.

My brother and sister-in-law are coming to meet me, we’ll go for lunch and then I’ll follow them back to High Point for the nite.

Possible coffee morning with my sister… try to get in a few more sights (Salem Lake is on my list as is Reynolda and Greylyn estates)…  try and pick up some new tennies cuz somehow the ones I have been walking in are killing my toe… gotta check out of The Brookstown at noon.  (sad face).

I’ve absolutely enjoyed the hell out of these two days.

(I also have to keep in mind that it is great to have a really nice time when you are not working, staying in a grand hotel, dining out,  shopping and seeing sights. 

I lived here for quite a few years and there is a reason I left. 

Yet, somehow this time the energy is a bit different.  I have met some interesting folks and had some significant conversations about the area and the state, itself.  Hmm….)

I leave on Saturday morning, will stop in Shippensberg, PA for the nite (already booked the Best Western) and hit NY on Sunday.

Well, Happy Friday!   We had some late check-ins last nite from the  sounds  emenating from my hallway… and, my phone rang twice… so, a fractured nite.  Prolly best that I am not staying another nite, if memory serves… this is a destination hotel for young Southerns and their associated bridal and groom events.  LOTS of weddings here.  Weekends can get rowdy.

I should also mention that the Brookstown is famous for its feline resident, Sally… who I learned passed away… they even have a sign up in the parking lot for “cat crossing”.  She will be missed.  Here is her story:

 sally the brookstown inn cat - Google Search

Thought I was meeting my sister this AM for coffee, but work has her hog-tied, so will have to make it another time.

I did squeeze in a trip to Salem Lake (I used to take walks there regularly, it’s  a really nice location and a great 3 mile walk) as well as the Graylyn Estate (which was hosting the German National Soccer Champs the next day and was about to go on lockdown) and then to  the Reynolda Estate built by the Reynold’s folks who grew all that tobacco for cigarettes that wound up killing everyone. 

Graylyn Estate Hotel & Conference Center | Official Site

Home - Reynolda

All of these locales brought me many hours of solitude and enjoyment, just walking around and taking  it all in.  North Carolina, much like Upstate New York, is very beautiful… lots of dense greenery, old homes, history…

In anticipation of my dealership visit, I stopped at an auto parts store and had them test the battery so I wouldn’t get flim-flammed…  turns out the battery was “to expectations, but needs a recharge”.  Not sure what the hell that really meant, but I figured it meant I didn’t actually need a new battery.  Okay, knowledge is power.

Finally, after a day of “last visits”, I headed over to Subaru for my 1pm appt, but not before stopping at a store for new tennies. I tossed my old ones at the hotel and forgot a Plan B, so bought my first pair of Nike shoes!  You read it right… 62 years old and never owned Nikes.

I’m a fan.

With minutes to spare I rolled up at Subaru.   Determined to have them explain the  battery thing and why my key fob(s) keep opening my hatch when I don’t want it opened.  Of course the starter hesitation did not happen (does it ever when you are at the dealership?) but the hatch was practically break dancing, so… Harold and Deb met me there and we headed to Village Tavern for lunch.

Back to Subaru two hours later… Edgar turned out to be a bit more high-maintenance than planned (I think it had more to do with their equipment  than my car) and they were not able to guarantee that I wouldn’t need a loaner and come get him in the AM… I had to make a decision and I decided to cancel my PA hotel so as not to lose the money. 

One more nite in NC and then hit the road Sunday. 

No great hardship as I am enjoying my time with Harold and Deb.

I did manage to get my car back about two hours later, presumably charged and ready.  Fingers crossed.

Saturday and a lovely morning here in High Point.  I will take stock of things, make sure the car is in good order, run some errands and go thru some stuff that Dad left behind (I think a whole bunch of Hardy Boys books that belonged to me at one point) and see if  I can make room in the car for them.  I would hate to leave them behind now that I know they are still around!

(I did take time to go thru some boxes…  all my Hardy Boys books …and a few of my brother’s… from our youth.  Damn, I was spending a fortune and a lot of energy over the years trying to replicate that set…and now…I think I have it. 

Also, and  wait for it… a whole Matchbox carrying case  full of my old Matchbox cars!!!

Talk about the mother lode.  I guess this stuff was in my Dad’s attic and  when they cleaned the house out, voila!

So, it was a nice surprise and a generous gesture on the part of my brother.

Nice lunch at Panera with Deb and then I found a Planet Fitness so  I could do  some exercise… one thing about my time Escondido was 3 days a week of Cardiac Rehab, 5 days of hiking and 4-5 days at the gym keeping me  honest.  On the road, it requires some planning. 

Sunday morning and  I’m off!  Spending the nite half-way to NY, in good ol’ Shippensberg  where I have stayed many times before.  Charm-free, but adequate.  Listen, if I can survive The Thunderbird Motel, I can do anything.

Well, here I am in the Best Western on Walnut Bottom Road in Shippensburg.  Not great.  I’ve already switched rooms once.  But, it’s what I have and I think most of these joints are pretty much the same. 

Had a huge traffic jam on the 81 today, but honestly, that’s really the only hiccup in an otherwise really smooth road trip,.

I will say… leaving NC and heading into VA… ooh… Trumpy to the max.  They have a Trump Town in Boones Mill, VA… a whole swap-meety looking thing.  It’s nauseating.  Literally called Trump Town.

I stopped at one place to get some iced tea and had a slight run-in with a Local who didn’t like how I almost hit his door as I swung into the spot next to him.  I guess one should look before opening one’s door, no?   

He had a face like a cat’s ass and a God, Family, Country shirt. 

My luck, I wound up behind him in line.  The little gnome behind the counter seemed to know him, so kept a lid on it.  Mind you, I had some comments in the chamber. 

Various remarks about intimacy with family members and such. 

But, given that this is prolly a close-knit town, I decided to err on the side of caution.  Me with my California plates.

I had a wicked comment that was on the tip of my tounge, but held back.  It had something to do with being intimate with one’s sister and a less-than-flattering use of the word “hillbilly”

I will finish my journey tomorrow;  off to Clifton Park and Greg’s house.  It will be nice to see my New York posse again. 

I think that about wraps things up for now.  It appears I have just spent the same amount on this trip by car than I would have by having Edgar shipped, plane ticket, rental car, etc.  And, huge bonus was the places and people I got to see on the way.

But, I am really wiped out.  And, I think Edgar is over the whole thing.

Sending love to all.

My buddy Ellen sent  me this; something I had written back in 2017 when I was living in Winston Salem and clearly, fighting the battle that is internet dating.  I got a real kick out of reading it again:

Need a chuckle? True story: Had a date a couple of nights back with Dr. LadyParts (the Gynecologist). Mind you.. first date. After dinner, I suggest a stroll through picturesque Old Salem. While we are walking (and he is sweating through his expensive button-down shirt) we notice an older woman with a walker, plodding along with a younger companion. He turns to me and asks what I think about her... about her quality of life as she ambles on down the road, slow and steady. "Great", sez I... "she's out and about, making the most of it, not letting her age and relative infirmity slow her down... go girl!" He's quiet for a moment, then springs this gem on me: "I really need to know that you would be able to pull the plug. I mean, if I got really sick and my quality of life was zero, I need to know that you could (in essence) kill me." First date, mind you. He takes it a step further and says, "if you can't, that's kind of a deal breaker for me." FIRST DATE. I tell him I would absolutely not want to do that; in fact, I had someone fairly recently ask me to help them and I was unable. Sorry. We walk on and I skillfully direct us back to our cars so I can end the madness and send him packing... he's prattling on about this and that, making very little sense and it's all fingers on the chalk board for me at this point. As we are parting, I look him straight in the eye... give him a little swat on the ass and say, " I take it back. I could totally kill you." 

Date #2: Not without a court order.

Today is Tuesday, the day prior to my departure.  I woke up (read:  got some sort of sleep which is always a win for me) and decided to make the most of it.  Safari Park.  Just had to. 

I said a final goodbye to my trees.

I packed the car up yesterday and finished up some odds ‘n ends today (it helps to take the loaded car out for a test drive to see how things shift); finshed the day with Guy and Ri and a nice dinner and now am taking stock of the few things that need to be done prior to leaving.  My tires must not have been cold enough yesterday when I adjusted them, so will have to tackle that first thing in the AM.  Then, on to Cathedral City, then… East.  You know…just East.

I am toying with the idea of a stop in Slab City (look it up, it’s legendary) and possibly Quartzsite as I am passing thru Arizona.  This is where all the Nomads gather each year for their annual get-together… I missed it, but it would be nice to check out a place I have read and seen so much about.  We’ll see.  Trying to just… go… and not be too structured.

Sez the Control Freak.  Wish me luck on that one.

Day One:  Went to Cathedral City to see Doug, did a side visit to say goodbye to Tommy in Palm Springs.  Things are  starting to warm up there and I tell myself that if I had chosen that locale to move to… I’d be bitching about the heat in short order.

Doug and I toured a bit, went over to Indio and Indian Wells  and capped it off with a nice dinner at his mid-century explosion of a home.  Always a treat, so-so much to look at.

Crappy nite of sleep, but forced myself to still stay in bed until 6:30 this morning; if I can’t seem to sleep at least I can rest.  I am so looking forward to getting past these sleep issues, I can tell ya.

I left at 9am; destination Flagstaff, AZ.  I did not see anything telling me I was leaving  Cali, but I did see a “Welcome to Arizona” sign and I did get a bit emotional… because it was “official”.

I did a side trip to Quartzsite as planned, glad I made the pilgrimage to the site where the Nomadic Community gathers annually.  Took  a pass on Slab City. 

I stopped frequently to walk and stretch and get some sort of movement. 

I also took the 303 Phoenix Bypass to… well… bypass Phoenix.  Was not looking forward to it and my map thingy suggested it to get to the 17, so… glad I did.

I did 400 miles today and am currently at a Baymont by Wyndham.  That I can only describe as… tired and shabby.

I believe an 11 year old girl checked me in. 

The place is kinda gross yet there were people cleaning… one guy was even wiping down the elevator. So… clean and gross?

Meh, for $96… it is what it is.

I almost made it to the Hyatt Place I had planned on, but the traffic in Downtown Flagstaff was crazy and it looked like it was going to be a whole thing.  On second thought, I shoulda taken it.  But, can’t un-ring a bell. 

This dump does have a decent shower, which could have been a deal breaker… so I will deal.

I hear lots of traffic noise and the place is a bit un-refined… So actually, it’s just like my last apartment building.

I did not plan dinner  real well; everything close by is a fat and sodium bomb, so I foraged amongst my supplies and had the type of meal one has when they are cleaning out the fridge cuz the power is going off the next day.

I am also close to the 40 which I have to transition to as I continue on.  I think tomorrow  will  see me break my journey in Albuqurque… although after checking, it’s only 4 hours and some change from here… so, I might be able to go farther.  We shall see.

Fingers crossed for sleep.

Morning:  I did not realize that today was Friday!  The days blend. 

Well, I spent the night in the crummy Baymont which was surprisingly quiet.  I crawled into bed with the TV on at about 6:30, slept on and off and got out of bed around 5:30 this morning.  Apparently, I will survive to tackle another day.

I saw from my window that Edgar spent an uneventful night and I noted it was 39 degrees!  Gotta love an alpine mountain town.

Got myself cleaned up and organized… tip for travelers:  most hotel bedspreads are white…  gather all of your items on the bed, spread them out so you can see everything clearly against the white background.  This way everything is front and center and visible.  Lessens the chance of leaving anything behind.  It also helps decide what maybe you don’t have to bring in the next nite.  I might have overdone it a tad.

I headed downstairs to take some things out to the car and ran into a few of the Japanese tourists who came on the massive bus that arrived sometime yesterday evening. 

The lobby was swarming, ‘cuz… free breakfast bar. 

I headed out to see Edgar and put some things inside; some gal had her lawn chair parked behind her car, next to mine… working on her phone and smoking her brains out.  Seems like something I would have done in my smoking days.

Back inside to take a stab at some eggs-from-a-bag and fight my way to the utensils as said group of tourists had completely taken over the joint.  I watched one woman stuffing oranges into her purse.  I bypassed the sausages (that was painful) and opted for untoasted  bread for sort of an egg sammich/burrito thingy.  I think the first ingredient in the scrambled eggs was cellulite. 

Headed out, got gas, onto the highway.  40 East all the way.

Except I decided that there was really no point in going to Albuqurque… which is kind of charm-free… when I could go 1 hour North and hit Santa Fe.  Which, I have always wanted to see.  So, I did.

I had my usual rest stops all day, stretches and such… my ass was numb… but made time to take care of myself.  I hit Albuquerque and branched off on the 25 North to Santa Fe.

Which, I can say with certainty… is ber-nanners. 

Traffic is intense.  It is quite dense. 

I did a detour from my usual and booked a room at the Best Western Plus.  Lots of garish Southwest print carpet and dark wood.  Another “seen better days” hotel, but it had good reviews.  A tad more ‘spensive, but if I average it with the night prior, I’m at around $125 per  nite thus far.  Not bad.

This place, along with a host of others, is right off the main drag. 

Nice staff… I have a plug that doesn’t work, a lamp that doesn’t work and a bathtub shower that when you step in it… creaks and groans like the floor is going to cave in.  The folks in the room below me must have loved my shower time.

I was getting antsy and stressed ‘cuz I was tired and I was trying to figure out how to get to downtown Santa Fe (where all the good stuff is) and somehow stay on course… do I go this evening, go in the morning… then hit the road… spend the day downtown, stay another nite and leave on Sunday… Greg told me to just chill and remember I don’t have a hard and fast schedule.  I will try and get over myself.

I decided to find a Planet Fitness and do some proper exercise.  The dudes at the front desk were out in the parking lot later on, tossing a football while people were lining up at the counter waiting to be helped.  I realized I didn’t have to fix that.  Which is a win for me.

Found an Albertson’s and got a salad and some other stuff… they had one checker, a line back to the meat department and the self-check looked like Beirut. 

Tellin’ ya… Santa Fe is dense, man.  Lots and lots and lots of people.  VERY… native? An interesting mix of Mexican and Native Peoples.  I am definitely a Gringo here.

I had a vision of this really chill, calm place where people stroll around the town, all the buildings look like pueblos and at least one person is burning sage. 

Not quite.  I should say, there is money here.  Benz, Land Rover, BMW dealerships… lots of home stores…

Maybe downtown/Arts District will be different.

I will endeavor to have a good nite and figure my shit out in the AM.  Ideally, I decide to stay here at Bates Motel another nite so I can spend the day in Santa Fe.  We shall see.  Sez Mike at 7pm the nite before.  Anything can happen and usually does. 

Oh, this place has the slammy doors I love so well.

Saturday morning.  Some numbnuts left the bedside clock alarm set for me to be jolted awake at… I have no idea what time… since I basically threw it across the room.  So, I had a fractured nite’s sleep.  But, I’ve had worse.  I hit morning reality with a bit of anxiety on how to proceed with the day.  And, in short order, banished that thought… went down to the front desk and paid for another nite.  This way I can go check out the Santa Fe I have heard so much about and not stress over where to stop on my travels for another day. 

Went back downstairs for some bagged eggs and  toast… this  spread was a bit better than the Baymont.  Make-your-own waffles and all.  Met a guy at the coffee station in from Colorado, working on a HotShot crew with some others; handling fire stuff.  VERY cute. 

New Mexico seems to understand their precarious water position and fire danger; lots of ads re: conservation and such. 

So, I did offer to share a shower with him when he gets back from work today.  I think everyone needs to step up and do their part.

Once I got to Santa Fe’s downtown/Arts District I was not disappointed.  Really lovely.  I got there around 9am before things opened, so I strolled the plaza area and surrounding streets… things come to life around 9:30 and it is quite apparent, this place is for the tourists.  Shop after shop after shop… selling trinkets and souvenirs.  I did manage to get my requisite magnets and tee-shirt, natch. 

One part of the plaza, under a covered walk is lined with vendors that have all their wares spread out on blankets.  Lots of families, lots of old ladies…

Lots of high-end shops and galleries; none of it cheap, mind you.

I passed on the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum, not really a huge fan… but did go to the New Mexico Art Museum which was nice.

So, so much history here.  I did my research and it appears the indigenous population is made up of the Northern, Central and Southern Pueblos.  I saw old women and men that looked exactly like the pictures I have seen; really beautiful.

I got to do it and I am glad.  I’d go back again some day.

The rest of the day was spent running little errands, stopping at an Antique Store… it was blah… finding Target… putting gas in Edgar (they have 86, 88 and 91 octane here).  Edgar is used to a diet of 87, so he now has a little more pep in his step with the 88.

I went to the gym again, went back to the hotel and used the pool.  I promptly slipped getting in and caught myself in time before I did any damage.  There were no cameras anywhere, so… what-evs.  I did manage to score two cute pool towels that are now coming with me.  Take that, OSHA slip and fall guidelines!

I also need to get a new swimsuit.  This one is falling off my bones.  I’m down 25lbs now.  I hope it stops soon. 

My plan is to get in the car and just head East tomorrow.  Prolly Oklahoma will be my stop.  Meh, I’ve done it before.  I even stayed in Garth Brooks’ hometown. 

The person in the room next door has discovered the TV volume, so I am hopeful he/she outgrows it by dark.

Next up:  strategize dinner.

Which was Chipotle after scrutinizing menu choices… not half bad, actually.

Back to home base to get organized so I can leave in the AM.

Sunday morning… another ghastly nite; just can’t seem to shut the brain down.  I had a brief pity party and just got on with the day.  Goal:  get thru New Mexico, thru Texas and into Oklahoma.  Which, as I type this at 6:20pm (gotta remember the time change), I managed to do. 

I did stop at Buc-ees somewhere in Texas (Amarillo?) cuz you never want to miss that experience.  It was VAST.  And PACKED.  I escaped with some lunch/dinner items and a full tank of 88 for Edgar and it was onward; gotta find a place to land this evening.

I will say… the bugs here… brutal.  Edgar looked like a battlefield.

I stopped at some wayward rest stop on my way and inquired how long to the state line… “52 miles” I was told.  Works for me.

I got back to Edgar only to find he was covered in tiny bugs… gnats?  Whatever they were, they were nasty and got in the car along with some ladybugs.   I spent the next hour trying to get them out of the car. 

Oh, did I mention…. 102 degrees?  It’s ghastly here.

I found another Best Western Plus off the 40 and decided to just take it.  In keeping with the Blue Collar Man theme I seem to be on, I am told this is a hotel for oil field workers.  I met one in the elevator.  I feel for them, though… in this heat…

The room is decent, even has a little kitchen.  The price was right so I overlooked the piles of laundry in the halls, the unvacuumed halls and the fact that my sink won’t un-plug.

It’s one night.

I’ll figure out next steps in the AM.

I hope this finds you all well and happy.

Sending Love From The Road,

Another week in the chamber, ready to fire and see what develops. 

A bit of a gloomy start to things this week; our days have begun rather overcast and nipply as of late.  Greg tells me the East Coast has been unseasonably warm, but then reverts back to cold and wet again.  Just the reverse out here.  Go figure. 

I think our planet is in menopause.

Another good Monday at Cardiac Rehab; this time with a twist. 

Remember me telling you about Chuck… who was certain all us heart patients needed to take our minds off things was an icy plunge?  This is the guy who belittles his wife when she brings him and apparently, is an all-around jerk. 

I arrived at my usual time, but the door was locked.  Hmm… curiouser.  I then caught a glimpse of Chuck behind me, in the window’s reflection.  He’s in the parking lot going off on the security patrol guy… apparently, Ol’ Plungey backed his truck into some of the cement  parking pylon thingys and was trying to implicate TriCites in the whole mess.  I caught some of the exchange… basically, taking no responsibility for his careless driving.  The security guy was very calm and professional, to his credit.

Meantime, the team inside (God love ‘em) had locked the door to keep Chuck from wandering in, post-tirade.  They saw me and let me in early thru the side door. 

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That (Original + AutoTune)

I went against  Doctor Zorders and paid a visit to my Chiropractor yesterday.  It had been two months and my body was really jammed up.  He did some gentle adjustments on me and a lot of deep tissue stuff, but none of my usual (considered “high velocity movements” and not recommended by the Cardiologist nor the Internet… which, I obliged).  I did not adjust well and he told me my body was resisting more than the bodybuilder he just worked on.  But, I got some benefit from what he did do and will go back prior to leaving.  He is open on Memorial Day, so that might be my last visit.  Anything to un-jam me.  My body has been thru a lot and it was evident.

Well, this is interesting:

Tuesday, and what might be my last visit to The Safari Park.  I am meeting my good buddy Rayanne there this morning.  Which is fitting because I wouldn’t have even thought of getting a membership there unless she had suggested it last year.  I’ve been able to afford   many lovely visits there as a result.

(We had a lovely visit and what is better than spending time with good people that you love?  It was warm and it was only going to get warmer, so we hi-tailed it out  of there by 11am.  As much as I would have loved to work there… and I did explore it… if I’m honest, being outdoors all Summer in that heat might have been my undoing.  One or two unruly toddlers or entitled Karens might have pushed me over the edge.  And, with more than a few hungry carnivores around… let’s just leave it there.)

Wednesday saw another pleasant cardiac rehab session… the location is great (Oceanside), the weather is always just lovely when I arrive and when I leave… the people are kind, the music is great… even on those mornings after a ruff nite when I am carrying my face around in my handbag, I appreciate being able to go there.  Friday is my last visit and I’m kinda sad about that.  For all the nonsense I went thru with after care and all the cages I had to rattle and toes I had to step on, this portion was well worth it.

I had a visit with Auntie Robin, always a pleasure… She and I seem to have been rather closely aligned on our life’s paths.  Many similar experiences, many traits we share. 

I wasn’t able to be close with my mother, but I have more than made up for it with her sister. 

(By the way, Starbucks makes a not-too-bad spinach, egg white and feta wrap if you are watching what you eat and happen to feel peckish whilst ordering your venti frappachinomacchiado-oat milk only-soy foam-pup cup).

During Cardiac Rehab I have been watching TV, without volume… and got hooked on Farmhouse Fixer on HGTV.  I fell madly in love with Jonathan Knight, who… turns out… was in New Kids on The Block!  I just did not make that connection.  And… bonus… he’s A Gay.

Jonathan Knight - Wikipedia

I treated myself to SiriusXM for the upcoming trip; 70’s and 80’s music are my jam with a little Yacht Rock tossed in (The Bridge) and lesser-known 80’s MTV tunes (1ST Wave), so I should be good. 

Couldn’t resist: 

I heard these lyrics in a song as I was grunting my way thru ab exercises… it was a country song  and I’m not drawn to country… but, a good lyric is a good lyric:

“Take your chance while you have the chance, chase your dream cuz your dream won’t chase you”.

Hmmm.

Well, this was a week of “lasts”, including my last visit to  Cardiac Rehab.  They had a cake for me, some gifts, some guest speakers... not. But, I did get a few hugs.

The week  culminated in my last beach walk with Ramak and breakfast at Harry’s in Del Mar this Sunday morning.  Lovely capper to a really manic year.

I have loose ends to tie up, a car to load up (strategically) and then… follow the yellow bricker to Palm Springs to say goodbye to Tommy and to Doug… and continue on my way out of Cali. 

I make my departure from SoCal full of gratitude.  For everyone who has been kind and helpful and supportive to me thru this recent bizarre turn of events in my life.  

I remain very glad that this heart thing did not happen while on the road (shudder); thankful that the people and circumstances that I needed were put in my path.

But, I am mostly grateful for Guy and Ri.  Two people who demonstrated great love and care and selflessness.  People with their own lives and own issues who opened up their home to me so I could try and put the pieces back together. 

It can’t be ideal to have a 62 year old insomniac with dietary restrictions occupying a large portion of your home for far longer than planned; using your hot water and paper towels and laundry detergent and drinking your expensive coffee. 

Regardless of how charming he is.

Three weeks turned into two months and they have been unfailingly gracious and generous and encouraging and supportive.

How lucky am I?

Not sure how much I will be writing from the road, but I know for sure there will be stories to tell. 

For now, everyone hang loose (or tight), stay well and I’ll see youse down the road.

I might have shared these before, but this one got me in the funny parts today.  This guy takes clips of singers and overdubs… it’s a scream:

Okay, these are showing up with regularity in my YouTube feed… so, I now have to pass them along.  I am told there is a method behind the show they put on… regardless, it’s fascinating:

Cardio Rehab continues to go well; I am slowly catching glimpses of how bad my situation could have been… people showing up after major surgeries… perspective checks abound.

And just because we all need something  pretty to look at:

Safari Park this Tuesday; it was chilly and overcast and a bit misty… and altogether light on toddlers.  My kinda day at the park.  I am also strategizing how to make off with one or two of my favorite Bonsai trees from the Bonsai Garden…  Gonna need a big bag and a helluva diversion.

Well, today (Wednesday the 13th) marks two months to the day since The Heartening.  

Time  flies. 

I am down 21lbs.

And I really, really miss ham

Gas prices... I know I’m not alone in this… at the very-reasonably-priced station I go to near The Manse… $68 to fill up.  Yikes. 

Another class at Cardiac Rehab today; the last one was on nutrition and this one is on mental wellness.  Coping with recent life changes, etc.  Hell… I should teach it.

It was conducted by a very nice man who is a counselor at the hospital... and the session was totally dominated by Diana... who kept repeating the word "movement" and yammered for 10 straight minutes (I know cuz I was watching the clock) about her diet and pushing her grandson in the stroller... and Chuck (the guy who argues with his wife who brings him) telling everyone that a great distraction from all of this is to use a home "plunge" system to immerse yourself in frigid water.  Which is what every heart patient needs... a shock to the heart.  He took us 8 minutes over our time and I finally just got up and left so I could start my rehab session.  

Jason was nice, but has no floor control.

So, I have been  going to the grocery store a  few times a week; it’s on the way  home from the gym, I’m old  so there is always something I forgot to get.  Anyhow,  I have been seeing this homeless guy sitting at the entrance as I pull in…  the usual signage, “anything will help”.  I decided to just buy him some food and water and give it to him on my way back out.  And, he was gone.  Next day, same thing.  Next day, same thing.  At this juncture, I am in possession of food I probably won’t eat (good food, just not on my particular plan at the moment) and not sure what to do with it.  I even drove around to see if I could find him.  No luck.  Well, I remembered there is this other homeless guy who sets up artwork he has painted along with a whole sunshade system for he and his dog, on the sidewalk on the side of a busy street.  He is selling his work so, according to his sign… he can get a better tent.  I mean… come on.  “Anything helps; need a new tent for me and my dog”… the usual heartbreak. 

So, I took all the food I had accumulated and drove over to give it to him, hoping he would be there.  He was, but the street was so busy there was no place to stop.  So, I just kinda gave up… for about 1 minute. 

“What the hell are you doing, Michael??  It’s inconvenient for you to stop so you’re just NOT going to help someone??”

That is not the person I want to be.

So, I drove a ways until I could find a place to turn, did a huge double-back, found the parking lot that parallels where he was set up… grabbed all the food and water… grabbed some cash… and just kinda handed it all to him over some shrubs.  He was very appreciative and as I was leaving, I saw him take the bottle of water and fill his dog’s dish.

Well, that did it.  I cried all the way back home.

I actually need to go back before I leave and buy a piece of his artwork.  Something a bit more dignified with an exchange rather than a handout, you know?

That anyone lives this way, regardless of “why”… rips me up.  You spend your day camped out on a sidewalk on an incredibly busy road… trying to sell some paintings… so you and your dog can live a bit better life. 

And, there are so  many examples of this all over the city. 

I think any show of kindness is a good thing.  Even if it’s recognizing someone and saying “good morning”.  A lot of these folks have learned to be un-seen.

Some words of wisdom I came across; this relates to a conversation I was having with someone about… being happy for others even when you feel your life is not where it needs to be.  The idea that you can still be happy for others when it’s not feeling organic for you.

You know…. comparison.  One’s life and current situation vs. another’s life and current situtation…(as perceived).

One of the reasons I left social media was my constant, unhealthy comparison between my life and what appeared to be the fabulous life of others.  If things were not going well for me, it was actually painful to view another’s life, perceive how well things were going and… more painfully, to be envious.  Made me feel lousy.

So, this is what I gathered; and this is for anyone who is feeling left behind or less than or insufficient in some way because of what they see in others that tells them they are losing ground.  This is also to show that these feelings are present at any age and can be managed… need to be managed, actually.

-            You are not behind in some cosmic race. You are simply in a harder season right now. Seasons change.

-            Comparison distorts reality.  You are comparing your internal struggles to their visible outcomes. You likely see their highlights while carrying the full emotional weight of your own disappointments.

-            Another’s success is not evidence of your failure. It is evidence that good things are possible.

-            You are not being left behind.

-            You can hold two truths at once.  “I’m feeling lack” and “I’m glad they’re doing well” can coexist. Mature love often looks exactly like that

Some truth from Miss Carol:

I had a lovely last walk on the beach in Delmar with Ramak today.  It was cool, overcast and we walked barefoot (nature’s pedicure) on the beach.  Quite marvelous.  Driving back from Delmar there is that stunning spread of beach and cliffs emerging before you head up the hill and it is just literally… magical. 

How lucky am I to have had a year of that?  So lucky.

Took my final trip to the Escondido mall yesterday; the pants I bought in August are… as you might imagine… not fitting.  So, instead of 4 new pairs, I bought two basic colors in a smaller size and left it there.  Then, just for kicks… I headed over to Macy’s to see what bargains might await me… and, I was not disappointed.  Not recalling if I had a winter coat in storage, I availed myself of the markdowns in Calvin Klein… and got a smoking hot deal on a heavy coat with hood… If I am going to endure winter again, I might as well be wearing something chic when they find me frozen in the snowbank come the Spring thaw.

Guess who is supposed to get his first Social Security check next week?  This Guy.

I have mixed feelings.

I will still need to work, but the idea that my 46 years of toil will bear some kind of fruit and I might not have to work as much… is neato. 

I paid my last visit to the Deer Springs Winery and Auto Museum today.  Nice enough place, the museum portions(s) contain nothing but convertibles.  All in various states of slow decay because it does not appear they are curated very well.  Some are in the same spot they were in years ago when I first visited.  So, imagine… vintage convertibles in a barn-like structure… tops down on all of them… you get the idea.  Still, I do enjoy looking.

And, since it is right down the road and I've always been curious, I drove to the Lawrence Welk Village (now called Hyatt Vacation Club at The Welk since Hyatt bought it from the family)... on Champagne Boulevard.  If you love golf, this is the place.  I talked to some dude in a shop and he said since the Hyatt folks bought it, things have changed and not for the better.  As I was staring at a can of Pringles on sale for $6.50.  It's gotten corporate and not in a good way.  Not that I could afford $500k anyways.  I hear the timeshare presentation is brutal.

Going to share this because I f***ing LOVE this character, Beth.  She’s amaaaaaazing.  (by the way, she’s british and has been in a lot of movies… you might remember her as Caroline Bingley in Pride and Prejudice):

Okay, I think that does it for me.  I hope this finds you all well and as happy as you can muster.  It’s a wacky world, but there is beauty in people and in your surroundings.  My wish for you… for all of us… is that we never lose sight of that.

Shout out to Linda… to Veronica… to Nina… hang tough, pardners.

Early In The Week Wisdom:

What this sez to me is, the wisdom is revealed when you are ready to see  it.  Which is absolutely true in my life.

Short one this week; I'm low on reserves, so only able to be marginally amusing and thoughtful.

I made it to the Safari Park again this week; this time it was overcast and even a bit sprinkly.  Which helps to keep the heat down and the crowds a bit smaller.  A bit.  I was in the parking lot with my windows open; I could hear a couple in the lot just down from me… “should I put  sunscreen on now, or wait until we get into the park…”  Well, the other half of this couple was either not listening or not responding quickly enough.  This guy is getting really impatient and rather loudly repeats his question…whereby some sort of discussion ensues… he keeps whining on about the sunscreen… I finally yell (unseen), “oh just put the damn sunscreen on for cryin’ out loud!!!”  Silence.  Then, they scurried off.  I can only assume Dude is applying his sunscreen at the park.

I overheard some young ‘un explain to the other young ‘un he  was walking with that the trees on this particular path were “fifty thousand million million million years old”.  His partner was suitably impressed, as was I.  That’s old.

For those of you with any fondness… or morbid curiosity… about SPAM, I give you this.

(As a side note, I met James Hormel back in the 90’s.  He was really old and fabulously wealthy.  I think he might have briefly flirted with me.  Also, a fixture in the San Francisco community and a generous supporter of the Names Project.   So, we love him.  He was the US Ambassador to Luxembourg and the first openly Gay US Ambassador, period. 

So,  there.)

Also,  he has a nephew named Smokey.  Gotta love that.

For any long-time San Diegans… or those of you who were here back in the day…  Remember Betty Broderick?  The jilted wife of Attorney Dan Broderick?  The one who drove her car thru the front door of the house where he and his new wife were living… and later, returned and killed them both while they slept?  I mean, this was huge in 1987.  I think Oprah even got involved.   In interviews she always maintained that she was justified.

Well, she died in prison.  Talk about a blast from the past.  I used to live near that house and would always walk by wondering what went on behind those gates…

Double murderer Betty Broderick dies at Chino hospital

Cardiac Rehab continues to go smoothly;  I will miss the attention!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you Mothers out there… be it human babies or fur babies… good Moms are a gift to us all.  Special shout to those Moms with kids (of any age) living with special needs, special circumstances...  any Mom who is still taking care of their kids, or their kids’ kids… the level of your commitment is boggling.

I will close with this lovely missive from my sister Linda…

Sending Love.

I just saw something in my news feed that “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” is 44 years old.  1982, the year that I graduated high school.  I still remember Phoebe Cates coming of that swimming pool… I think that movie was our first intro to Sean Penn and Nicholas Cage as well. 

Here’s a trip down Memory Lane for some of us:

15 vintage snacks no one remembers anymore

Gonna keep this week’s blarb fairly short and sweet; I am getting tired of the sound of my story lately.  Very selfish and insular, this.  If I have not reached out to you to find out how you are, please forgive me. 

How are you?

It was a pisser of a week sleep-wise, but I think that had something to do with meds.  At least I hope it did as I have made strides to get some things changed.

Feeling the pain for some of my near and dear ones. 

One of my good friends had to go to the ER for his migraines (they are really horrible) and both he and his wife spent the day there… another friend (and get this) is caretaking her housemate who had his bladder and prostate removed… has to assist with all that goes along with it… and, her other housemate (this guy’s wife) has dementia.  Can you imagine having to wrangle all of that AND take care of yourself?  Everyone is walking a path...

Lots of perspective checks for me and lots of healing energy being sent out by me.

Good visit with the Cardiologist Tuesday (decent guy, this is a new one); confirmed no damage, no other blockages… we discussed meds; what I will be on for life, what I can hopefully wean off.

And, this was my first full week of cardiac rehab; a nice place up in Oceanside connected to Tri-Cities Hospital. 

Great staff (lovely folks) and they play Yacht Rock over the sound system, which is totally my thing. 

There is a large room with recumbent bikes, stationary bikes, treadmills, and a few other things.  Including a wall of mirrors, never my first choice, but...

I get weighed in upon arrival (just about 20lbs gone thus far); have my blood pressure checked, get a heart monitor wires and nodes affixed to different points on my torso and I wear it around my neck in a little bag with my name on it…  looking not unlike a Japanese preschooler.

Then I do some exercise.  Heavily-supervised; there are always one or two people at the front at desks watching everything on monitors.

My blood pressure is checked at regular intervals as well.

Once I am done, I have to rip those node thingys off my hairy bod.  I think I will do a little strategic shaving in advance of next week. 

I will go Monday, Wednesday and Fridays at 12:30 for about an hour until I decide to depart Cali… and I am glad to have it available to me. 

Super nice to have caring professionals tending to me given what my journey in after-care has been thus far.

And, kind of interesting to be a part of this club; everyone there is in the same boat.  Some have way more going on than I do.

I still try and get to the gym every day; I don’t do any cardio on Rehab days, ‘cuz that would be overkill, but I am working more on toning.  As the flab has started to dissipate, it’s shocking what’s left amongst the rubble.  So, I am trying to tighten that up a bit. 

Thankfully, I had a decent foundation of muscle. 

It’s like a sculpture in a way.  Chip away and see what emerges.

Saturday was busy, which for me… especially if I have even gotten a drop of sleep the nite before… is now my new norm.  If I am operating on enough cylinders I make a mad scramble to tackle the to-do list knowing it is likely that the next day will suck.  If that makes any sense.  I even got Edgar his bath; some numb-nuts before me had left black grease all over the hose for the wash-wand and I was covered.  Much swearing ensued.

As it stands now, I am going to drive Edgar back East.  I am going to go slow and stop every 2 hours to exercise.  Also, find lodging with some sort of gym and breakfast. 

Still planning that one.  I will leave (again, this is the plan, be we know how the last plan went) on the 27th so as to avoid Memorial Day traffic fallout.

Gonna stick to the southern route, Rte 40 all the way and depending on how I feel, maybe veer a bit onto historic Rte. 66.

My buddy is going to assist me with her Hyatt discount and I will put some effort into planning each nite’s stay instead of winging it.  I’ve already test-driven the Hyatt  website by mapping Cali to Arizona, stopping in Flagstaff the first day… and it looks like I’m getting a very good rate at the Hyatt Place. 

Wish me luck; creating routes based upon specific hotel locations... not my forte`.  Each day's mileage is varying wildly.

Probably for the best that AAA did not hire me as a Travel Planner.

Can you imagine?

Dreary Sunday.  Kinda chilly, overcast… I may make it to the Antique Mall today just to browse amongst the relics.  Antique malls and car lots… for some reason, those are my happy places.

Well, I opted for the little antique-y place here in Escondido… only to find out it is now gone!  Urban Barn.  No more. 

Now all that’s left in town is the un-inspiring one on Grande that looks like Grandma’s garage sale.  What a world, what a world!

I think I will end on that note. 

Sending love and light and healing and good stuff to one and all.

Love,

Monday and an opportunity for a fresh start to a new week.  I am the recipient of some sort of sleep, so going to maximize my return.

Which generally means attacking my to-do list with gusto, ‘cuz tomorrow is definitely not guaranteed for me, when it comes to restfulness.

And, it is Tuesday and boy-oh-boy did I get clobbered with the insomnia stick.  What works one nite, does not necessarily work the next.  On top of that, a couple of my meds are messing with me, so you can imagine… trying to heal and not being able to do so thru good sleep is high on the suck list.

I had a ghastly day for the most part; still did a hike and went to the gym and had… perhaps… the saddest, most depressing lunch ever.  At Subway.  Turns out the best I could wrangle from their “heart healthy” choices was a whole wheat 6-inch nothing-but-veggies and olive oil/vinegar.  For $8.

The dude making the sammich asked me if I wanted cheese and pickles and I almost clocked him.  Of course I want them… I just can’t  have ‘em right now.

I had been feeling kinda low all day leading up to this… and lunch pushed me over the edge. 

Never again. 

I think I will start each day making a PB&J in the morning and take it with.  Just pack a lunch and be done with it. 

I reached out to my Primary and asked for a sleep aid to be sent over to CVS.  Gotta be careful what I am adding to my repetoire. 

But, I managed to sleep Sunday nite, so it is likely my mile-a-minute brain that is keeping me up.  I can generally watch some mindless vids with the sound off on my pad… start nodding and then I can sleep.  I watch vids of this guy who tours neighborhoods and just drives and films them.  Mostly forgotten, somewhat derelict places with his occasional typed commentary.  It’s kind of mellow and usually helps. 

Well, tonite is another chance to try it again.

I’ve had to cancel things that I  was looking forward to and it rips me up to have to limit good times.  But, when I have not slept… it is really significant. 

I think the psychic discomfort is almost worse than the physical.

I received a text message from CVS stating that they had to reach out to my insurance about the sleep aid; which means, “insurance is not paying for it”.  I know the routine by now, so I just called and found out how much self-pay was and off I went.  Back down the  mountain to CVS at around 8pm. 

I will say, it is a whole different world at that time of day.  More crowded than I would have thought, definitely.  I got to chatting to some gal who was waiting on her pain meds.  I think there are a lot of people waiting on their pain meds. 

There’s a whole lot of people out there trying to get thru life, lemme tell ya.

Still, I managed to get what I needed and back up the mountain I went.

I have to take it 30 minutes “prior to bedtime” (whatever the hell that is, these days) and on an empty stomach,  so 9:30pm was Magic Hour.  I was told I could pair it with my melatonin… and, since one of my meds apparently robs me of melatonin, I did just that. 

It seems to have worked as I greet Wednesday.  I did a bit of waking up during the night which is not unusual, but fairly soon it was 6:15am and I don’t feel like ripping my face off, so… maybe this will get me on track. 

I did feel quite groggy, but pushed thru it and at 7am I am writing this paragraph, so I will go for the win. (Unless I go back later and find I typed it all in Arabic, then we might have an issue…)

Well, it is now end of day and I really still felt kinda crappy.  Not going to take that pill again. Still tried to have an active day, but it consisted of uphill activity.  Figuratively.

I think I might need to stop paying attention to my brainz.  You know how those thoughts kinda creep in… it is definitely not serving me well.  Again, the “what if?” thoughts that start clouding the mind… really impede forward motion.  I just get kinda… immobilized, if that makes any sense.  Case in point:

I’m online this Thursday morning, looking at rentals in the area I would like to be in New York… and, as I am perusing the ads and looking at the requirements my “alarm  meter” is off the charts.  I start getting bombarded with all these bits of input that appear to be designed… solely to freak me out.  My main issue is how I’m going to qualify, on paper. 

But, I can prolly get around that.  I have before.  I mean… have you met me?

I will work (somewhere) and I will get my SS payments, so combined I should be just fine.  Convincing a perspective Landlord might be more challenging.  Still… I am me, so…

I’d really like to get a manufactured home in a park… I’m that guy who has always really loved trailers and mobile homes… yet purchasing, for me… doesn’t seem wise.  Not owning the land, but owning the unit… and, Goddess forbid a park gets bought out (like you read about)… lot rents get cranked up and suddenly, that affordable option is no more.  At least in an apartment, you can walk away.  

Although, my good buddy Paual rents a manufactured home  in a park… so, there is an option.

I could also just focus on a studio apartment; it would be just the thing to support my downsizing.

Echocardiogram today at 1pm.  We’ll see what we see.  Or, what they see.  If they don’t immediately run out of the room and return with a stretcher… I will consider that a good sign.  Since I won’t even find out the results until the 28th.  Gads…

Okay, been and done. 

The waiting room was packed; old folks. 

Wait… I guess I am one now.

I got up to give my seat to someone and shortly thereafter I was called back.

The Tech and I really hit it off and wound up talking about a variety of things, mostly about men… (little did she know I have limited and distant experience) and, of course… as you do during an echocardiogram… we discussed her disappointment in mens’… hardware.  She seems to be coming up “short” with the men she’s been seeing.  Read into that everything you like, ‘cuz you would be on target with what you surmise.  And apparently, hormone replacement therapy makes her… well… she did say, “road pylons start to look good”.  She was a kick in the pants and exactly who I needed to be seeing today.  I do ask the Universe to put people like that in my path.

When all was said and done, I know she couldn’t tell me anything, but she did kinda give me a smile and a nod in answer to my… “well, you didn’t run out of the room and come back with paramedics, so I’m assuming you didn’t see anything shocking”. 

She said, “sorry, no hot paramedics today!”.

I’ll find out something on the 28th.  If nobody calls me before that I will take it as a good sign.

When I walked out of the room where she did the imaging, there were three people sitting in chairs, presumably for the same thing… and from the looks on their faces, I take it Echo Gal and I were kinda loud.

I did get to the Safari Park this week!  Calloo, callay!  It was lovely.  I took it slow.  Really slow.  Lots of inclines to get to my succulent garden and bonzai garden… I said “hello” to all my plant friends, we caught up.  “So, guess what happened to me!”

Heading back down was easier. 

Overheard outside one of the enclosures, presumably some sort of boar... "Ain't those the pigs that kill?"

There is this little kid that lives just down the cul de sac in of the large properties nearby; every week… at least once per week… he is on his little ATV… helmet and all and he can’t be more than 6-7 years old… he rides it up and down the street.  And, he looks like he’s having a blast.  All kitted out in his gear and his helmet, I’ve seen his Dad open the gate and let him have at it.  Just pure enjoyment.  

Of course there is the sound of him riding the thing past the house… over and over and over and over and over… but, when you can tell how much joy it brings him, well… it’s really sweet sez the crusty old man.

(You kids get offa my lawn!!)

Tele-Health call with a Nutritionist on Friday morning.  It will be good to find out if I’m on the right track or not; overdoing it or under-doing it.  Ri kinda thinks I might be just a tad too stringent… “What is that?  Does it have sodium in it?  What kind of oil did you use?  Did you get that blessed by the Rabbi?”  When your Greek Mother hands you something to eat,  it’s hard to say no.

(Ri has been AMAZING about buying things and cooking things that I can handle, sometimes at the expense of what she and Guy like to eat.  I’m very lucky.)

I’m a bit over the top I guess… this is all new to me…I also dropped about 15 pounds.  Offa my ass, but… still… I lost weight.

Post-visit with Nutritionist… She told me to lighten up a bit.

Still, label-read everything, of course.  But stop torturing myself.

Low sodium, very low-to-no saturated fat, low sugar… LOTS of veg and fruit (should make up most of the plate), whole grains, very little processed food (Sun Chips are still on my roster, but small amounts); low-fat to no-fat dairy, oddly, go light on the Cheerios… carbs can cause glycemic spikes.

NO alcohol… lots of skinless chicken, canned tuna (low-to-no sodium and drained/rinsed…) avocado-oil mayo, most mustards… I still have my 2 tbsp of peanut butter a day… and I now eat fish. 

Ri made me salmon the other nite marinated in fresh tangerine juice from the trees in their little orchard and baked with crushed walnuts and tangerine slices. 

I can’t stand salmon as a rule… but, I know how good it is for you so I gave in… and this was grand. 

So, there you go.

And, moderation with most things.  I can even do some nitrite-free, low sodium, “natural” cold cuts if I don’t put nine slices on.  Maybe one and load the rest with veggies.

I gotta re-learn some things.

I really, really needed this set of chuckles:

Wrapping this up on Sunday; I was feeling rested enough to get up early and go for my Delmar beach walk with Ramak; always restorative.  It is such a lovely beach town and the ocean is so beautiful to look at… we had our usual great time.  Normally, we go for bagels and coffee afterwards… and we did today, I just had to tweak my menu a bit. 

I had an “ancient grains” bagel with just egg and tomato this morning.  Not too bad. 

Someday I hope to be able to eat cream cheese again. 

That will be one of my goals.  Aim high, Mike

(I made Ramak tell me her cream cheese tasted lousy, to make me feel better.)

We went to a neighbor’s house this late afternoon for a little get-together… Marcie and her husband Peter… same place I went to on Halloween.  Marcie is this kinda ditzy lady who’s all over the place and full of energy and I really like her.  It was outside in their backyard and very chilly… but, the view of Valley Center from up there is spectacular.  Lots of dessert-y stuff and nibbly bits… but I skillfully avoided most of it and just did fruit.  And, the tiniest bit of ceviche.  Never sure about the salt people put in their stuff.

Marcie and Peter have two exchange students with them; one from Germany and one from Denmark.  I think both girls are around 17.  Sharp, bright, engaging, perfect English… I spent a good hour just yakking with them.

I made sure they both knew all the American swear words. 

And, I have never felt so fucking old.

They have everything spread out before them.  Sky’s the limit.  I was so envious, in the best way possible.  I just wish I had had some of their opportunities at that age.  But, you work with what you got, right?

Anyhow… Selena sold me on Denmark. 

Tomorrow is the first day of Cardiac Rehab; not sure if this will be just a “get to know” visit or actual treadmill stuff.

Then, Tuesday is (finally) the visit with the Cardiologist.  I will have more than a few questions, let’s hope he gives me some time.  And, let’s hope the echo results are good.  Shooting for less meds, okay to fly, okay to drive long distances.

Shout out to my sister Linda, who went on a much-anticipated trip to Cancun… and a few days in, got really sick.  Had to spend the rest of the time in bed.  In Cancun.  Talk about suckage.

Guess that’s all for this week.

Another start to the week, another lesson in gratitude for what I have.  These days,  waking up in the morning after an uneventful nite is quite the treat.  I’ll take it.  I am learning to acknowledge to God ‘n The Universe (as I like to call Whomever is running the show) that I am appreciative of one more day to try and do my best. 

I don’t know what that will look like, but I remain hopeful.

I do know someone that is waking up this morning without their prostate and their bladder and a few of their lymph nodes after marathon surgery.  I’m fairly certain I’m doing better than that. 

See?  Perspective.

Okay, this post is starting to get maudlin; I will try to stay away from that.  I’m starting to get a bit lofty and preachy and nobody (especially me) is interested in that.  I’m sure by now you all understand what you have and are properly appreciative.

Monday saw the usual round of phone calls and My Chart messages and surprise visits to Providers’ offices trying to wrangle this beast that is “after care”.   I’m quite sure my face is on any number of dart boards and walls and bulletin boards in the county. 

An honor generally reserved for people trying to pass bad checks.

My, did we have rain!  At least up here in Escondido; it was quite the to-do.  And, a bit chilly as well.  Spring haz definitely sprung.  I am starting Tuesday with the promise of sunshine.

Note to self:  looking at your ass in the mirror is not a good thing.  I’ve lost about 15lbs so far and I’m starting to look like an open, empty wallet from behind.  And, think I might have to go a size smaller on things like… underpants.  All of mine look like skorts now.

I’m thinking squats might help.  Stay tuned.

(Naturally, there are a myriad of folks out there showing the “proper” way.  Here are two examples, just in case you wanna follow along on my “flab to fab” journey; I kinda like the second one ‘cuz it looks easier on the knees, what with the added support):

Gotta love Jon Stewart:

So, this Wednesday finds me with some tentative good news.  I got a call from Cardio Rehab and even managed to finagle an appointment by the end of THIS month (no small feat); it is contingent upon the folks at the Cardiovascular Institute getting the SIGNED physician referral over to them.  The gal is going to try and get that today. 

And, if need be… I will march over to get it myself.  She mentioned trying to get records and I suggested we just pick our battles.  I now have a paper copy and a CD, so I will just bring ‘em.

Some  truth from Dr. Angelou:

So, as I take this journey into an improved diet I am directed towards the DASH diet and away from the Mediterranean.  Mostly ‘cuz of the fats.  Actually, I think there are items on both that cross over, so it’s more of a guide.  Basically, I stay away from high-potassium (‘cuz of BP meds), high saturated fats/cholesterol and high sodium.  Or, at least… I’m trying to. 

I found this handy little chart on DASH that I access from time to time. 

I think, more than anything, trying to be pin-point perfect all the time is not a recipe for success (yes, pun intended).

I ate five Sun Chips yesterday.  And, I am alive to write this portion this morning.

Points to Ponder:

-            If things don’t go according to plan (or hopes, or wishes) try looking at it this  way:  Maybe you’re not being rejected… you’re being redirected.

-            Try your luck at least once a day; who knows, you could be walking around lucky all day, it’d be a shame to waste it.

-            Fear is a Liar.

-            Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Is it apparent that I am doing a bit of searching right now?  I tend to live in the “what if?” section of my brain and it is not doing me any favors.  Tommy said something interesting in response to my “I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop…” comment the other day.

“Maybe it already has”, he sez.

Wisdom, y’all.

I am on the cusp of change again (albeit deferred, slightly) and  it is stirring up the old angst.  I only mention things like this, things I am experiencing, in hopes that anyone reading this… that might be going thru similar… won’t feel so alone.  And, maybe as I try to plow thru all this, I can share some coping mechanisms that might resonate. 

Anyone who has faced significant change in their life, whether thrust upon them or self-engineered has probably experienced a degree of anxiety over it.  Again, back to the “what if?” dialogue.  Sometimes “what if?” can help one navigate choppy waters.  Plan for contingencies.  I’m a big fan of Plan B, it just helps to have something in your back pocket to fall back on.  When possible. 

Sometimes the “what if?” can be paralyzing.  It can freeze you. 

Oddly, being faced with death is not the wake-up call I imagined it to be.  I don’t find myself now straining at the bit to go out and absorb all of what life has to offer and jump out of planes and attack life with gusto and do all the things I have ever wanted to do… I mean, you would think that might be my trajectory.  It’s not.  At least not now.

Instead, I find that I am more inclined to  “nest” and gather my things around  me.  To insulate a bit.  Create a fortress.

I am anxious to get settled somewhere, get a bit of security under my belt and branch out from there.  I need a solid foundation.  I am casting my eye towards permanence.  

Said Mike Danzis never before, ever.

Okay, on the good news front, I have Rehab set for the 27th to start.  So, that is some good news.

I am going to close this post early today; the last few nites have been horrible, sleep-wise (thanks beta blockers) and today I am carrying my face in my handbag.

Anyone who has ever struggled with sleep knows of what I speak. 

It colors everything. 

Making plans is next to impossible because it takes every ounce of resolve just to be present.  I’m already potentially cancelling something this upcoming week and I’m really unhappy about it.

I had to cancel my beach walk this morning.  My beach walk!!!  One of my favorite things.

You would think that healing and recovering would come with some restorative sleep.

Not for me.

Tele-health call with PCP tomorrow to discuss recent blood work and possibly switching up a med or two… using the internet as my doctor, I discovered there are a couple of other options and maybe she will feel comfortable making a judgment call so I can get some sleep.

Well, I’m feeling very sorry for myself today, so I will quit while I’m ahead.

It is a lovely day outside and though I don’t feel up to driving to the gym, I am doing a few laps around the outside of The Manse just to get some exercise and fresh air.

Sorry that this week’s ramblings were a bit morose.  I hope to do better by all of you next week.

Sending you all love.

I am reading the best book: “Just Kids” by Patti Smith.  All about how she and Robert Mappelthorpe met and became soulmates and how they spent their lives together and apart… it’s another fascinating look at the time period of the late 50’s thru the 80’s and 90’s… so well-written.  I recommend it. 

I just ordered 2 more of her books and one on the famous Chelsea Hotel.

Just out of curiosity… did you know that you can put your emergency contact info and medical history (including meds taken) on your phone so First Responders can access it?  I’m sure there is a security risk that comes along with it… my phone’s lock screen is just a swipe… I really don’t care… maybe I need to… but, I was amazed to find that you can store that stuff on your phone.  I have a Samsung, but assume Apple has one, too.

Tuesday found me up in Carlsbad (another coastal town with incredibly expensive real estate) for an appointment with my Primary.  Lovely gal, Carley.  Young-ish, knowledgeable and caring.  Listens.  Empathizes.  The stuff that matters.  I think I got 20 or so minutes with her and you know I had my list.  I am using her for all my information at this time, since a Cardiologist appointment in my life is as rare as an orgasm. 

I asked her if she wouldn’t mind helping rattle cages for me with the Cardiologist; she acknowledged the  level of ridiculousness I have been operating with as relates to after-care.  I hit her up for a few other things as well, so I remain hopeful.

Blood work done; (poor MA could not find a vein in one arm which now looks like a streetfight gone horribly wrong; thank you blood thinners!)

Since I was in the vicinity, I headed over to Subaru so Edgar could get an oil change and tire rotate and a couple of other things.  Carlsbad really is a nice area and aside from multiple car dealerships to stroll thru (my version of Disneyland), the Carlsbad Premium Outlets area short walk away.  Last time I was up there, I headed over to Under Armour for sox and I was due… I had the same sales gal I had the last time (odd what one remembers… can’t tell you what I had for lunch, but the gal who helped me with sox, clear as a bell…); so we bonded over sox and car repair stories.

Then I took some time strolling the shops after my purchase.  They have a Crocs store there… and I know a few who swear by their Crocs… thought I would check it out.

I was overwhelmed by the smell of rubber in this place and the amount of pre-teens squealing over the little pins you can add to them.  They were having some sort of “choose 8 and only pay for 5” sale, it was chaotic.

And, $49 for a pair of Crocs!!!  I left without.

I have a good rapport with my Service Advisor at Subaru (Josie) and we got to talking, as one does.  Turns out she has a host of health issues, but kinda keeps plugging along.  I always gather inspiration from peoples’ stories and she and I had a nice chat.  We all know of my love for a good perspective check.

I have her phone number so I can check in with her.

I had a cabin air filter in a box on my back seat that I kept meaning to install; I slipped the Tech $10 for him to install it for me instead of the $90 Subaru wants to charge.  I’m assuming he did. 

I’m of the generation that is skeptical of service departments and what work actually gets performed.  I am never quite confident my oil has been changed or my tires have actually been rotated.  But, since you won’t catch me doing any of that myself, I have to give it up.  I’m also the guy that hangs out on the periphery of the service bay, just to make sure my car is actually being worked on. 

It’s not easy being me.

They did over-inflate my tires so I will tend to that today.

A little over three weeks ago I was flat on my back with wires sticking out of me.  Checking my tire pressure this morning will be a privilege.  I’ve actually adopted the same attitude towards idiots in traffic.  I tend to get all amped up and annoyed…and, while I am still experiencing that… I’m quick to just let it go.  If one of the worst things I have to contend with these days is some moron who cut me off… so be it.  Bring it. 

Well, this is quite genius:

Had a hugely involved Wednesday; I decided to go back to the hospital and camp out in front of Medical Records again.  Seems nobody has mine… still.  So, I filled out new forms, one to email the records and one for me to come back and pick up a CD.  Then, figuring out that the surgeon that did my stent had his office across the street… I just headed over there.  Maybe someone there can give me answers on something.  Like, maybe even an appointment??  So, he’s out of the country, natch.  I even went so far as to figure out his office doesn’t take my insurance… but, with the help of the very nice gal behind the desk we surmised that if I made some changes in my insurance I could get him as one of my providers.  That wound up being a whole thing and after many calls to insurance  on my part… the nice gal called me back with an alternative.  Seems she used to work at this jacked-up Cardio place I am “on hold” with… she is going to arrange somehow to get the records over there and see what strings she can pull to get me a sooner appointment.  I don’t know what fruit this will bear, but it is something.  I did ask God and The Universe to put the people and situations I needed to propel me forward, in my path so… maybe that’s what’s happening.

I’m well over all of it.

I used to have much more entertaining stuff to talk about.

I did have a humorous moment; as I was sitting in my car in the parking lot, making the first of many calls… I was on hold and across the way this gal was flipping out on her phone.  She had dropped her bag on the ground and was pacing back and forth down the sidewalk SCREAMING at someone. 

I wonder if she was on the phone with customer service.

Chuckle Trifecta:

https://youtube.com/shorts/sfd-7wPTgBo?si=BI87O0xqyMKMnp_PFast forward to Sunday; which finds us San Diegans with overcast skies and a bit chilly temps; thankfully, the rain held off so I could drive down to Del Mar and do the beach thang with Ramak.  It’s been over a month since we could visit and go do this, so I really appreciated it.  She took me to breakfast at Harry’s (where the rich people go for their oatmeal) and I had less of a challenge than I thought with ordering.  Egg white veggie scramble, wheat toast, fruit… it was not painful.  Then we took a walk to the beach and sat on the seawall… just checking out the goings on and chatting.  It was a very nice morning.  I am quite lucky to still be able to do this.

As I wrap this up, it has rained quite a bit today.  We can definitely use it.  I still marvel at how ballistic people in this town go when it rains.  Fairly short bloggy this week; I hope YOUR week was marvelous and you have something to look forward in the week upcoming.

I will add my usual shout outs to anyone “in it” right now; some people have incredibly challenging paths to walk and they tend to do so quietly. 

An especially big shout out to my buddy Veronica, who is really going thru it.

Be well, stay well... and, don't take any shit.

Good Day... 

From my Grandfather:  "Spring has sprung, the grass has riz, I wonder where the flowers is...?"

(I don't believe he can take credit for the saying; I just remember him saying it).

Oh, and another:

"Ya put the chicken in the caa, the caa won't go... and that's how you spell Chicago".

Yep... this is the man and the lineage from whence I sprang.  Answers a lot, doesn't it?

My friend Thorny (he of the Tiki and Mid-Century vibe) sent me this; he references parts of it on his website.

Have a look… it is VERY comprehensive and very, very Caucasian.  I have been enjoying just clicking on random years.

Catalogs & Wishbooks

I saw some pictures recently of Tailors… back in the day… all sitting cross-legged on tables.  Which, I kinda thought was odd.  I did some digging and here is some trivia for you:

Tailors historically sat cross-legged on elevated workbenches to keep heavy fabrics off the dirty floor, prevent fabric sag, and maximize natural light from windows. This position, known as "tailor’s fashion," offered a stable, efficient workspace for hand-stitching and allowed them to use their legs as a support surface. 

Lovely Tuesday down in San Diego proper today; I needed to pick up Guy and Ri at the airport in the evening so I went down early to spend time with Brian beforehand.  Again, I am just gobsmacked at the changes to this town.  It has become so dense, so heavy with new construction and pedestrian traffic and automobile traffic… San Diego was always a city, but… a bit more mellow.  It was a whole vibe.  Laid-back city with a beach flave. 

Hillcrest (the “Gay Area”) and North Park were more suburban, housing was still fairly plentiful and relatively affordable. 

Nowadays, there is a new multi-story “luxury” apartment building going up anywhere you gaze.

Brian has a cute little house off the main drag, nice little canyon-type area that he has lived in for nigh on 30+years.  Right next door, literally… 2 feet I would say… from his house they are constructing a 2 story apartment complex.  That extends from the street in front to the alley in back.  With no parking.  Brian’s street is already a parking challenge.  And now, he will have zero privacy in his backyard.

On the other side of him, there is a bank of older studio apartments (quite small), going for around $2600 a month.  In back, the garages have been torn down and replaced by 150sq ft. studios for… are you sitting?  $1500 per month. 

This is my impression; it’s a bit dramatic, but you get the idea:

We walked around my old ‘hood… my apartment building looks exactly the same.  Which is prolly not a good thing 'cuz it needed some work back in 2016.  I can only imagine what they are getting for it.  Hell, I had tandem off-street parking!! 

The amount of coffee shops and micro-breweries and trendy gift shops is staggering.  Whilst the neighborhood still contains a stage whisper of its former charm (The North Park Theater is still there), the whole area is more of a “lifestyle” than it ever was. $5 tacos and every delivery service imaginable.  Loud (LOUD) construction everywhere, familiar buildings razed to make way for progress… Cross Fit gyms, regular gyms, traffic.  It is abuzz.  I will say it is prolly never dull and there is always something to go see or do. 

That hasn’t changed.  San Diego has always been that kind of place.

Interestingly, depending on where we drove; there are some areas that appear not to have been touched by the advancing tide.  Which was nice to see. 

I remain grateful that I arrived in San Diego back when I did all those years ago and got to experience the magic and can retain the memories.

And, I guess now, what it has become will be magic for someone else.  I hope so. 

It’s still a great place to be.

We stopped at City Tacos and I stared dreamily over his shoulder at some gorgeous chunk of man scarfing down his tacos while I picked at mine wondering "can I eat this, can I eat this, oh shit this taco shell is fried..."  I have a ways to go.

Getting to the airport at 5:30pm was going to be a nightmare, so Brian wisely directed me to go another route… and, what would have taken me at least an hour sitting in gridlock took me 14 minutes; I waited at the curb… keeping a close eye on the Parking Squad… and Guy and Ri popped out and off we went!  Silk on glass.

Off to Imaging this Wednesday to get a chest scan; I had chest congestion before The Heartening and it is still with me, so my Primary set me up for a scan… which I guess we will discuss when I see her on the 7th. 

Of course, I got lost, me being me.  Honestly, you would think that even with a GPS… but, there I was… staring at an Auto Club office where the Imaging place should be.  Somehow the building was waaaaay across this parking lot.  I arrived just on time.

Greg, the Tech guy… was very nice.  It all went rather quick.  I am told I have “long lungs.”  He sez he sees that with Swimmers and really tall people.  Not sure where that leaves me.

Greg was there with some guy that sat to the side behind a little wall.  I tossed off a “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” joke from The Wizard of Oz… I think they got it.  Myocardial infarction or not, I’m still entertaining.

So today has found me trying to get ahead of as much as I can.  I decided to just purchase my plane ticket to New York before the jet fuel costs go bananas.  And, to that end, I booked the pickup window for Edgar from the car shipper folks.  Now, that estimate is certain to go up in cost, but… not much I can do about that.  They don’t lock in the price until they confirm the driver.  So, the price could go down (not likely) or up (most likely).  In the end, it appears hanging on to him is the soundest all-things-considered decision. 

Or, as sound as any decision I am making at this point. 

If I’ve learned nothing from the recent spate of events, I’ve learned you might as well do the best you can with plans- knowing they are always subject to universal input.  I can’t just stay frozen in one spot and a person has to be able to plan something.

More phone calls with the Cardio folks today… I’m really not getting anywhere.  I have that 2pm tele-health call tomorrow with an NP at the Cardio Institute who is going to be able to tell me squat.  But I have a list of questions, nonetheless.

My Primary found me another Cardiologist… who I now can’t see until the 28th.  Which is better than it was, because I had NO appointment with a Cardiologist set up for after my echocardiogram on the 23rd.  

Jeezus, you just can’t make this up. 

I am just going to get as much info and resources as I can before I leave and just try to pick up care in New York.  There is literally no sense of urgency around any of this (except mine), so… what does one do?  I rattle cages every other day. 

Update:  Thursday.  Well.  Another Red Letter Day.  My call with the NP at the Cardio Institute yielded… bupkus.  Not exactly a waste of time, but not exactly NOT a waste of time.  I think she was multitasking when she was talking to me.

So, what I gathered together after my call was this:

All of my appointments, despite my best efforts, are at the end of April.  No hope of moving anything up yet.  Which leaves  me no time to even gain any traction… any knowledge of maintenance… before leaving for New York.  

Even though I was quite certain I was just going to take the money and run regardless… logic and common sense are bitch-slapping me to pay attention. 

My hospital care was great.  My after-care, as I have not been shy about communicating to you… has been shabby, at best.  But, this is what I have.

Life tossed a few potatoes and lemons.  I will be making potato salad.  No mayo.  Or… lemonade.  No sugar.  All these food metaphors are not good for my diet.

(I am reading that Splenda and Stevia and other artificial sweeteners are not necessarily good for heart patient folks… especially if they have erythritol in them.  And, Splenda has dextrose added… so, I might just go back to my teaspoon of sugar and wean from there.  Honestly, staying vigilant is a challenge.)

I am tangent-ing again, sorry.  Back to my leaving… I am just pushing my departure date out a few weeks.  

I reached out on this to a few people whose opinions I trust and they were very objective and supportive in their feedback.  Sometimes it helps to consult The Village.

I will just change my flight date; I already sent a message to the Car Shipper to extend the pickup date for Edgar.  At least this way I can get some appointments under my belt, have that echocardiogram and get some peace of mind before I fly the friendly skies.

Guy and Ri were more than gracious in accommodating my change in plans.  Mind you, these are empty nesters who have a very lovely nest that I’m sure they wouldn’t mind enjoying by themselves empty again.  But, such is the kind of people they are.  I endeavor to stay low-impact. 

I continue to acknowledge how fortunate I am that all of this went down as it did.  If it were inevitable that this would happen (and it appears it was), I’d rather be here than in Gallup, New Mexico in some Holiday Inn Express trying to wrangle care. 

I shudder to think.

If anything happens on my trip back, now I will have a better chance at medical intervention on a plane than I would at a Buc-ee’s in Plano.

All of the items I was going to pack away in Edgar to take with me have to be gotten rid of or shipped by UPS to Greg's.  Oh well, it’s not like any of it (most of it) wasn’t easy to replace and we all know I have too much damn stuff anyway. (I will still manage to secrete one or two things in the very back; "oops!  how did those get there?"  I took some more stuff to consignment, so the spare room looks less like a storage unit now.

I also hope I don't have to keep course-correcting.

Remember this?  Snickers just killed these commercials:

Happy Easter, everyone.  Lunch will be here at The Manse; Guy and Ri have been bustling about for the last few days in preparation.  We have some folks coming over and I will do my best to be of help.  Not always easy to do with two incredibly organized and capable people already 12 steps ahead.  But, I will be on-hand as backup.  

I can at least show people where the bathroom is.

Food choices will be interesting and a good time for me to practice... Ri has prepared some items with no added salt, so the other heart patient and I will not have to suffer too much.  Wasn't that kind?

I guess all things in moderation; not my usual buzz phrase, but I'm adaptable.

And, as I type this on a Sunday eve... it was grand.  Rayanne and Brian and Connie and Bill and Nina and Paulie and Monica and Olivia... we had a lovely time.  The weather was grand so we got to eat outside... much amazing nosh, of course... and everyone left with a Louis Vuitton suitcase full of leftovers.  

Surprise of surprises... Some of you (might recall) that two days prior to The Heartening, I was at a marvelous antique mall with Rayanne and Veronica in Temecula.

I saw a vintage Bulova clock radio that I fell in love with.  FELL IN LOVE WITH.  Mint condition.  Blue with gold accents.  The price was a bit steep and I wasn't sure I should be spending the money and I had to get it back to New York... blah-blah-blah.  I didn't get it.  A week or so after I got home from the hospital, my friend Thorny stopped at The Manse for lunch prior to heading back to Cathedral City.  He mentioned he was going to stop at this same store on his way back... I told him exactly where the item was in the store and asked him to let me know if it was still there.  And... it wasn't.  Oh, well... I snoozed, I loozed.

Rayanne shows up today for dinner and guess what she had... yep.  The day of my birthday (she was here at The Manse for lunch), she drove back to Temecula and bought it for me.  Can you even?  I got VERY emotional when she gave it to me today.  

I'm still in shock.  What a friend!

And, that is kind of how this week ends.  I will see my Primary on Tuesday, get some tests and ask her to refer me to UCSD Cardiology, which will take my insurance and is well-known for being awesome.  I gotta do better than the hambones who are "managing" my care right now.

More on that next week, I'm sure there will be a story.

I hope that everyone had a nice day no matter what you did... Glad I can still be here to wish you a lovely day and a lovely week upcoming.

Monday:  today is the first visit with the Cardiologist and my anxiety is thru the roof.  I packed a small bag of essentials (clean underpants and tablet+charger, toothpaste…) in case they toss me back in the hospital.  Took my microdose of Xanax to steady me. 

Well.  So, here’s how all that went… Ri drove me down to my appointment… We got there early, I checked in… lots of Latin patients so Spanish was abuzz in the air and I played a game of trying to figure out what everyone was saying.  My appointment was at 9:45, we got there before 9:30.  Of course, there are various patients on their phones.  Playing music.  Some folks don’t connect with the idea that not everyone wants to hear it.  I let it go.  A rather large Black woman who looked like an aged, heavy Shirley Temple (I mention her skin color because Shirley was the biggest honky there was) with purple ringlets was immersed in her own video journey, cackling at intervals… and, when it was her turn to go back… she took about 2 minutes to just gather her stuff up and get out of her chair.  She was not to be rushed.

One guy comes in and I hear he’s there to see the same Doc as me.  His appointment was at 10:15. He goes back before me.  Another dude comes in, same Doc.  He goes ahead of me.  Now, hold on a minute… sumpin’ ain’t right here… then, my phone rings.  The front desk gal… who checked me in… is calling me.  To find out where I am.  She is staring at me whilst I am talking to her.  She forgot to check me in.  Sigh… they usher me back.  I let it go.  Whatever.

The gal who comes in to do vitals, is Jackie.  So, I call her Nurse Jackie.  She’s heard it a million times, but dutifully smiles.  I want to comment on her split ends, but I hold it in.

There is NO medical record paperwork from my ER visit and subsequent hospital stay.  Nothing.  Apparently, Palomar is still having issues with systems.  So, my Doc (sorta nice guy… I think he’s a runner) can’t do much.  They do an EKG, take my blood pressure… seems to be fine.  He reviews my meds, tells me which ones I can’t stop taking… but, no word on which of the others I can wean off or anything.  Fine.  I’ll deal with it later. 

He mentions he wants to get me an echocardiogram to check things out further. 

Great!

I already know he’s behind and itching to get to the next patient.  I’m as firm as I can muster.  I zip thru my list of questions.  Then, he’s gone.

Back to the front desk to schedule the echo… The earliest I can get one is April 30th. 

Fuck me.

As the gal at the desk is informing me of this (and offering to let me know of any cancellations at any of their locations); I see him emerging from his office… “hey, Doc… I can’t get that until the end of April!”  “Oh, he sez… they’re booking that far out…?”  And, disappears. 

I mean, what are you going to do?

I’m assuming the EKG they did was accurate (we all know how gun shy I am on those); so, I mean… I’m just gonna try and live for a while.  Just live. 

I asked about the gym, he tells me to go easy.  Weight machines with no weight, I guess… just the range of motion for the most part.  We talked about the cardio rehab he is referring me to… he sez it’s kind of like a glorified gym visit.  Yeah, that really doesn’t help.

So… who the hell knows anything these days.  No wonder we turn to the Internet for information. 

I sent all this info to my Primary; asked if I can get an earlier appointment with her.  Something is better than nothing.  I will await some sort of referral for cardio rehab.  Or, just call back in a few days and rattle their cages.

I’m going to continue trying to do everything right and that’s all I can do.

On a humorous note:  The Hadley sent me a breakdown of final dollar amounts upon my move-out.  The apartment that I left in excellent condition, without so much as a nail hole in the wall… is costing $200 to clean.  I had a good chuckle over that one.

I called Madison just to confirm; it seems that’s just what they do.

In the final analysis… it could have wound up costing me $3400 to get out of there.  So, I think I’ll keep my displeasure to myself on this one.

My big treat for today will be to drive myself down the road to the big gas station near Valley View Casino and fill my tank.  That will be my “living on the edge” moment.  And, Edgar needs some distraction.

I’ll try and do a bit more tomorrow.

(And… I did drive myself down and got gas this evening…when it was cool… windows down, sunroof open… my fave time to drive… and only $5.09 per gallon.)

I’m a big boy now and can start to do big boy things again.

I took this Tuesday by the horns; determined to get out and about.  Taking it slow, of course.  Down to CVS to find out if I can use my inhaler (chest congestion) in conjunction with all the other meds.  “No Problem!”  sez the very no-nonsense Pharmacist.  I think her name is Shazah…  or Shazam or some fucking thing.  She was nice, but… strong.  So strong that next thing I know she is telling me of vaccines I am missing and suggesting I get them.  NOW. 

I tell her that, as she can see, I have had a heart attack…  and, would that be okay?  “Of course!!  I am Pharmacist” she bellows whilst wrestling a large lion to the ground with her bare hands.  “These will protect your heart!!!” she sez thru a mouth full of nails as she is re-shingling the roof of the pharmacy.  So, that happened. 

 For the moment, all I have is a sore arm.  Which, I anticipated.

Then, off to go pay a visit to Madison at The Hadley just to say hello… “Things are really quiet here since you left,” she sez… playfully hinting that I was the issue, not everyone else.  Not to be outdone, I told her the only reason she knew about anything going down was because I was the one who told her. 

Hmph!  I didn’t invent that SWAT Team, Toots…

Then, up to Daley/Dixon just to chill a bit.  I went to the trailhead and kinda stood there, I did not do the trail itself.  I went up to another portion and just walked on the flat ground.  It felt good to at least connect to the outdoor spaces I miss.  I packed a light lunch, ate in Edgar, observed some folks… then, drove back downtown.

First stop to the Chiropractor to see if he can research some treatments for those with heart issues… and of course, to stare at him adoringly… then, next door to the gym.  I did the hydro massage bed, some very limited leg exercises (machine, no weight) and walked for 10 minutes on the treadmill, no incline.  I only got my heart rate to 75.  For now.  Since I am not getting much in the way of guidance, I am going to have to figure this out.  I have a buddy in New York whose husband is a preeminent Cardiologist and I might pick her brain for generalities.

Wednesday and a real treat; after a horrid nite tossing ‘cuz of that damn shingles vaccine (gurl, that effing vaccine hurts afterwards and it gives me serious flu-ish body aches!), I was able to pull my scattered pieces together and join good friends who I have not seen in long time for a nice lunch.  Extended family, really.  Mike was in from Chicago, ‘Cesca-Bob-Brian-Natale-Guy-Ri and me.

My wonderful friend ‘Cesca brought a bunch of old photos (anyone remember back in the day when you took pictures on your camera and got them developed?  Took days until they figured out “One Hour Foto.”)  Anyhow, it was a real walk down memory lane.

‘Cesca is the much-loved sister of my dearly-departed Bobby; has known me for 30+ years and it was a gas just to look at those pics and see how young we all were! 

The clothes, the hair!  I really miss the 80’s and 90’s.  We all caught up and I found myself very melancholy.  Looking back on those times… there was always a gathering or a get-together at someone’s house.  God, we had fun. 

I know you can’t go back, but you can visit.  I guess if nothing else, I proved that this go-round back in San Diego. 

But people die… or they move on… or they move away… they lose touch.  It’s all different now.   Sometimes being reminded of where you were… it’s hard.

I got very emotional saying goodbye because… it’s these times, these occurrences, these get-togethers and the people I share history with that hit me in the feelz.

(There was one picture of me… early 90’s from the International Male staff shirt I’m wearing… my hair is on point, my gaze is clear, my face is well-shaped… my eyebrows are sublime… I spent 20 minutes tonite in front of the mirror trying to manipulate my face back to what it was then.  It didn’t go well.)

I see younger people with their lives stretched out in front of them… full of possibility.  I see people my age, starting to enjoy retirement… I gotta figure out what this chapter looks like for me.  I need that identity. 

I’m feeling VERY sorry for myself.  Also a little scared, if I’m honest.

Yes, I am quite aware of how fortunate I am to be alive to even lament my fallen youth.  Getting older is a privilege. 

It’s also a motherfucker.

At lunch, somehow we got on the topic of the ocean and particular beaches here in San Diego.  Specifically, the water near Coronado and Imperial Beach.  Apparently, it is so laden with sewage from Tijuana that people can’t even go in.  Can you imagine booking a stay at the fabulous Hotel Del Coronado… only to find out you can go in the water??

(Parts of “Some Like It Hot” were filmed here)

“As of late March 2026, the ocean at Coronado Beach (including North Beach, Central Beach, and Silver Strand) is closed to water contact due to sewage contamination from the Tijuana River. The County of San Diego Department of Environmental Health advises against swimming, surfing, or wading, with no immediate timeline for reopening.”

And, our poor Navy Seals….

“Navy SEAL candidates (BUD/S training) must train in the ocean at Naval Amphibious Base Coronado. Training includes mandatory "surf drills," log training, and long, open-ocean swims. Despite significant water pollution and recent DOD recommendations to relocate during contamination, training has historically continued in the ocean.”

It’s a damn shame.

After lunch with the gang I went to the gym… machines with zero weight… 15 minutes on the treadmill… got my heart up to 81 this time.  Gonna ease into this real slow until I hear something from cardio rehab about an appointment.  One is not holding one’s breath.

Okay, Thursday AM and Guy and Ri have been safely deposited at the airport so they can go to their grandson’s wedding.  I am relieved.  They really wanted to go and I’m glad nothing “occurred” that would have prevented it.  True to form, Ri packed an entire bag full of nothing but cookies.  You definitely want to be stranded on a desert island with Ri.  Or at the very least, be the person at TSA that does the bag checks.

I tackled the cardiologist hamster wheel again today.  Got my echocardiogram moved from the 30th of April to the 23rd.  Still not ideal, but I am at least making progress.  I will call again next week and see if I can get even earlier.  I managed to move my chest scan up to this Tuesday and move the follow-up with my Primary to a week after; so we can review those results to see why I have persistent congestion (which I had prior to the heartening).  Honestly, it’s a bit stressful and tiring to have to do this, but if I don’t… it appears I will be swimming in cardiac limbo indefinitely. 

Still no word on where the fuckity my medical records are.  Might just drive to the hospital and torture the Medical Records folks.

On a happier note, I got my hairs cut today (looks good, if I do say; I had him leave it slightly longer on top this time); not quite Brad Pitt, but not quite Buddy Hackett, either.  I’ll take the win.

My Barber is a nice man named Phillip; there was the usual death metal playing on the speakers and opening day for the Mets and Pirates on the TV.  Phillip is deadly with the comb (he just whacks it against my head) and I had to ask him to back off a bit.  I’m on blood thinners and we don’t need a Bleeder at Tailor Made Barber Shop.

I made it to the gym for more of my own cardio rehab.  Again with the machines, no weight… and I did another 15 on the treadmill.  Still reluctant to get the heart rate above 80-ish, but I’ll keep at it.  From all I have read it needs to be way above 100 but in these early stages, I won’t push it and just remain glad I can do some walking.  Any exercise has to be better than none.

Auntie Robin stopped by later in the day to pay a visit; always a nice time.  Our chats have been via text and email for so long, it’s a real treat to spend time in person. 

As I continue to navigate my exodus I am not 100% sure about Edgar.  Do I suck it up and ship him, do I sell him…?  I found a decent Shipper and price and have been weighing the pros and cons. I also have a member of my extended family, (‘Cesca’s daughter Megan), who I found out just by chance at lunch, is interested.  She and her wife are apparently looking for this very car.  I remember Megan as a very little girl; talk about a full-circle moment.  I do like the idea of keeping Edgar in the family.  So, in addition to Carvana and Carmax purchasing Edgar, I have another option.  Don’t have to decide today. 

(If I’m honest… there are times I feel like if I at least have my car… I might be house-less, but never home-less.  Plenty of people live the Nomadic Life and live in cars they tricked out to be mini campers.   Hell, there are tons of vids on YouTube and they even made an Oscar-winning movie about it.)  I've been flirting with this idea for over 10 years... maybe this is what part of my chapter looks like.  Maybe.  I mean, pooping and showering in comfort are also high on my list.

My Boss from Delmar Internal Med was gracious enough to consent to my being a New Patient at the practice; which means I can see one of the Providers there for med refills and referrals which will be a huge relief upon relocation back to New York.  Wasn’t that generous of her?  It can take AGES to establish as a New Patient at a Practice. 

That was one of my concerns; establishing care.  So, that will help ease my mind a bit.  Aside from the fact that I still have good friends that work there.  Nice group of folks.

Life is strange.  I was supposed to be driving back to New York tomorrow.

Just kinda feeling low-grade crappy today; I think it’s the heat.  And, I might not be eating enough.  Gotta work on that. 

-Spent part of the day chasing down appointments; they will definitely have my face on a dartboard at all locations of The Cardiovascular Institute of San Diego.

-I drove to the hospital today (déjà vu) and went to Medical Records.  Turns out they emailed them to the gal at CVI who I asked to re-request them… and, they also snail mailed them directly to the location. 

- I called this afternoon.  Records still not scanned in.

-Turns out cardio rehab has to be authorized… they are either submitting or re-submitting (prolly the latter) to my insurance.  Hurry up and wait.

-I can’t get another appointment with the Cardio Doc I saw last week ‘cuz he doesn’t want to see me until the echocardiogram comes back.  I can’t get that until the 23rd.

-I’m on the phone with this poor gal who prolly wanted to chew her arm off to get away from the call: “I just want some guidance” sez, I.  “I just need to know that what I’m doing at the gym is okay… more, less, just let me know.  Here’s what I’m eating… eat more, eat less… just let me know.”  I badgered the gal so much she got me a tele-health call next week with a Nurse Practitioner at CVI… prolly just to shut me up.

I fought the crappy feeling and went to the gym again.  It’s nice and cool (not cold) and I love to people watch.  Treadmill again for 15+ minutes, got the heart rate to 82.  Did some no-weight machines.  Makes me feel I am doing something, you know?

Will do scrambled eggs and cottage cheese and toast for dinner.  Good protein, though slightly high on the sodium with the cottage cheese.  I’ll go easy on that.  I ate 23 whole wheat goldfish crackers today.  55 is the serving size, but to lower sodium I cut it in half.  It took care of the crunch craving.  I bought the least impactful ones.  I think they are made of Chinese drywall and tummy lint.

Wandering thru the snack aisle is torture.  Processed, processed, processed. 

I would kill for a pizza.

I just might, so stay outta my way.

I ask ya… how cool was Judy Garland?  Hangin’ with JFK, smoking a menthol…

As I get more creative with my somewhat limited diet, I will share some ideas that you may find helpful.  It is quite amazing how much processed food out there has sodium and saturated fats… and now I need to be aware of it.  I am the first guy to run to a ham and swiss slathered in mayo.  Well, I was.  No more of that.  (moment of silence for mayo-heavy sandwiches and salads…)

I discovered that a decent alternative was Greek yogurt.  I get the nonfat plain.  If you want it as is, you can always add some honey or some jam or fruit puree to it. Granola and fruit is a good add-in as well.

But, today I am using it as a mayo substitute for tuna salad.  Although, Ri did get me some avocado oil mayo and I might cheat with a teaspoon of that. 

I get good tuna (water is prolly best, but if you get oil, just go lighter on the binder).  I always drain it and if it is not no-salt in water, I also rinse it. 

Add in some celery and carrot (I use the shredded carrot chopped-up a bit, easier) and red onion.  Season your ass off, just don’t use salt.  Onion powder, garlic powder… hell, use Comet if you want.  To taste.

It comes together quite nicely; I eat it with whole wheat bread or pita (again, watch the sodium and pay attention to “serving size”.)  Also good on a bed of lettuce. 

I fucking hate lettuce these days, but I am making peace with it.

“Can I interest you in some cheesy, dripping, saucy, tangy lasagna and buttery, smothery, crunchy garlic bread?”

“No, thank you… I’m gonna tuck into my Romaine and boiled cotton swabs…”  Gads.

I really don’t enjoy salmon, but it seems a wise choice… so, I might just suck it up and incorporate that.  Poaching it seems simple enough.  Finding recipes and bonus:  Ri loves it.

For any of you who get slightly crazy with airplane turbulence… it freaks me out… this makes it all okay:

We are on Sunday and I will wrap this up.  I pick up Guy and Ri tomorrow evening at the airport and have two appointments this upcoming week.  

Hey, maybe cardio rehab will be approved this week… said the optimistic Mike.

I am going to up the ante on normalcy and drive to my vintage store today in San Marcos.  Not buying anything, but it helps to center me and kind of puts me in a zone for a bit.

Gotta start consolidating more stuff so I can ship just the essentials to New York.  If I wind up shipping the car, I can’t put any stuff in it.  Which sucks, cuz that was what I was planning.

Hey, I lost over 10lbs.  Amazing what not drinking every day and easing up on the pork rinds can do. 

Okay, all for now.  Sending love, healing and light to any and all that need it. 

Actually, on the day of “the heartening” (which is how I shall refer to last Friday from now on), I had been up to see my sister in San Bernardino.  We had a lovely time, grabbed some lunch and caught up.  It had been years since we clapped eyes on each other in person, so that was a special day.  And, if I was going to drop dead, at least I got to see her before I slid anus-first into the Great Beyond.

Not sure if any of you have ever driven the 10/215 route into San Bernardino but it is not for the faint of heart.  (Oh, look at me already with the heart jokes).  Also, not great if you have any sort of traffic phobia.  My sister Linda and my Auntie Robin and I used to make that drive each Christmas for years and I’ll tell ya, having been gone for a long time and coming back… damn.  It’s a whole other world now.  Abbey tells me there basically is no “better time of day” to do it; it’s constant.  But she was worth it and I’m glad I saw her.  She and I share the same DNA (read:  we have the same biological parents) and sometimes the similarities are eerie.

As I was walking to the kitchen just now, I recalled that in the hospital, they encouraged me to take short walks.  Up and down the hall… bony ass flapping in the wind inside my “not couture” hospital gown.  And, as I passed by one room this woman lying in bed is asking me to come in and remove her breakfast dishes.  Yes, my first impulse was to ask, “Honey… do I even remotely look like I work here?” but I resisted and found her a Nurse instead.  One room I passed by had a visitor and this guy was in the middle of telling the person he was visiting a psychiatrist joke.  Like, “so this guy goes to a psychiatrist…” but a Nurse bustled in at that moment and now I will never know how it ended.  But I do have one of my own… stop me if you’ve heard it:

Guy walks into a doctor’s office with a duck on his head.

Doctor comes in… glances at the man… takes a deep breath and asks, “What can I do for you?”

The duck sez, “Doc you gotta get this guy off my ass.”

I’m here all week folks; don’t forget to tip your waitress.  Try the veal!

It appears this week will be for sorting out insurance matters and follow-up visits and not driving.  I guess when they stick a wire into your groin there is a chance for some afterwards- bleeding and strain on that area, so I am advised to delay.  No lap dances, no nothing for a bit.  I’m actually quite used to doing without, I’ll be fine.  Though I am looking forward to just driving to the hiking spot (sans hiking) and the lake spot to sit and soak it in.  My crowning achievement will be getting back to the Safari Park… I know they miss me.  I could even get one of the scooters so I don’t have to walk the inclines.  “Watch where you’re walking!!”

Guy and Ri continue to be marvelous; honestly… How lucky am I?  What is tough for me is not being able to contribute.  But I guess I must get over that for now.  Don’t piss on the gift.

Everyone keeps telling me the circumstances surrounding all this nonsense could not be better.  If I went thru this back at The Hadley… can you imagine?  Meth Hillbilly downstairs  taking me to the toilet?  Crazy Wig Lady getting my meds filled?  Better yet, having it all happen in some Oklahoma town… shudder.

I find that my internet searches now all start with, “How soon after a heart attack can I…”

Amazing how we use the Internet as our info source.  Of course, I will defer to a professional, but it does give one an idea. And, it’s mostly food-related.

However, I will defer to my Cardiologist.  Once their scheduling system is fixed.  Santiago… a nice man with broken English… let me know that there was a list he can put me on for a call back once the system’s issues are fixed.  Comforting.  Apparently Palomar Health was hacked and they had to cough up a ransom… unsettling stuff.

I have a telemed call today with a Provider on my insurance; I can hopefully work thru some questions and concerns and get established.  My, there is a LOT to do.

I am going back thru my list of discharge instructions; the amount of spelling errors is making me more uncomfortable than my new regimen of meds.  And, my personal fave:

“If you are experiencing a life or limb threatening emergency, call 911”.  Life or limb?? 

I have spent most of today (Monday) in a low-grade freakout over every twinge, every palpation, everything.  Mind you, almost every med I’m on has some sort of whacky side effect. 

Good news is, I did connect with the Primary Physician I mentioned (very nice gal) who is hooking me up with a Cardiologist.   Telemeds are fab… if you can do it over the phone, I highly recommend it.

No driving for at least a week, no gym, no Chiropractor… at least until cleared by the Cardiologist.  Only walk on flat surfaces for now.  Can’t even do my beach walk.  Gradually increase intensity as my body allows.  No alcohol.  I am reading every label on every container of everything for saturated fat and sodium and sugar.  I’m not half becoming a boring old fuck.

She (Carley) told  me that I could take my incredibly low dose of Xanax for my anxiety.  I have the lowest dose possible and I even cut that in half.  So, it will help take the edge off.  ‘Cuz, I have some edge at the moment.

And, I did  call that Urgent Care today and spoke with the Provider that saw me on Monday.  We had a very nice chat and aside from asking her to refund the EKG charge… I’m letting it go.  I just wanted them to have a teachable moment for the staff that do the EKG’s.

Tommy sent me this:

Now, since I am on blood thinners, I am told an electric razor is best.  I am currently shopping for one and doing my comparisons.  Remember ‘Lectric Shave?

I was reading some of the info on one of these shavers… “Be cautious when using the shaver on your face to avoid cuts.”  But… wait… I’m buying this to avoid cuts. 

I’m realizing how being ill, or having a significant event that causes you to have to convalesce… is kind of selfish.  In the least shitty way possible.  But it forces the focus back on you.  You are less-inclined to be taken up with other peoples’ problems and struggles… ‘cuz you can’t get out of your own space.

You might be less-inclined to listen to others when they speak of their troubles; less inclined to ask.

Which, as you might guess is very uncharted territory for me.  Ri asked me yesterday evening what I wanted for dinner.  Like, just me.  Knowing I had to have some restrictions.  And it struck me; how insular an illness can be.  How separate you can be. 

So important to recognize what a gift that kind of care and concern is… and be mindful never to over-step.  Especially when those good folks have their own issues to manage.

Thankfully, I am a good “patient” who is not demanding (can you imagine?  “What is THIS?  Toast with margarine?  Where are we, Rawanda?”)

Nothing worse than having a monster living in your guest wing.

I saw a Dolly Parton clip yesterday; she’s celebrating 41 years of Dollywood.  And bless her… she’s starting to look tired.  You can hear it in her voice, see it in the way she moves… she still looks flawless, of course.  She’s such a treasure and goddess knows she has earned the right to just step back and appreciate all the marvelous-ness she has created. 

Wednesday morning.  My phone, which I normally turn off at around 8pm (‘cuz we all know I hate the phone) is left on, just in case.  If something mis-fires during the night, I want to be able to call 911 and get my underpants changed and pluck between my eyebrows and take off any jewelry and alert the paparazzi and get my lame ducks in a row before I go wake up Guy and Ri.  As one would.

My phone goes off.  6am.  Mind you, as compromised as I have been over the past 5 days, I still worry about the folks and my first thought is that Ri is calling me from the other side of The Manse… something’s wrong.  Instinctively, I spring out of bed and go to the desk.  “Potential Spam”.  Oh, you fuckers.  I get the same series of spam calls at least 5 times a day.  This is just early for them.  Some evil funding folks calling (different person’s name each time), letting me know that my personal loan in the amount of (a range, changes each time), $30-56K) is just awaiting a few details so they can process it.  EVERY day.  I block every number, but we all know it’s just a hamster wheel of robo-dialing.  I am tempted to get whatever app it is that supposedly takes care of that, but… seems like a scam in itself.  So, I deal.  Easier when the phone is off.  So, I guess I have to figure something else out.   These robo-callers, they’re the real domestic terrorists.  At the very least I will put my phone on the nightstand so I don’t have to spring out of bed.

It is now 7:44am and no shooting pains from my abrupt awakening, so I guess I thwarted an episode.  I will take that as a good sign.  Yesterday was fraught with intermittent twinges and spasms and “what the hell was that…?”  Unnerving.  I have a call today with an old friend who went thru similar (but worse) than me.  I want to just pick his brain on how he handles that.

Still no word on a Cardiologist appointment.  I might call today to see if that scheduling system is fixed yet with the Hospital Cardiologist.  Ri tells me the last hacking of their system was a huge mess; people with surgeries scheduled had to be cancelled, etc.  Can you imagine that kind of angst?  I also have a referral to another in the works with my Primary.  Might follow up on that one, too.  I know I will feel a bit calmer once someone looks at everything again.  But the way I figure it now… I walked around like this for a year or so… had the attack, they opened up a whole artery for me and did what they decided needed to be done, so… as long as I’m not eating bowls of gravy and doing aerobics, I should be good.  Should.

Not sure if any of you are John Waters fans, but I sure am.  My dear, departed Timmy (Miss Myrna Del Rey, The Toast of L.A.) introduced me to him back in the mid 80’s.  Watching this clip is like a lesson in pop culture history.  He really is… cool.  That’s the best word for it.  And, the comments on the video back that up.  Give it a look:

John Waters' "What's In My Bag?" | Amoeba Music

Happy Thursday.  Not a great day yesterday; I had a recurring ache in my side (I have gotten this pain before, for years… same site as a non-threatening lipoma I have).  From time to time, it just aches.  And, yesterday was one of those.  Talk about hyper-vigilant all day. 

Still kind of frustrated at my inability to make a cardio follow-up appointment, so I dashed off a note to my primary first thing.  Will be calling the hospital Cardiologist’s office as soon as they open as well.  Enough of this waiting nonsense.

A “Hollywood Mom’s and Their Kids” thing came thru on my news feed… interesting to see these gals with their offspring in their studio-mandated shots.  Kinda glam, as you would expect.  And, of course… all these Moms are posed lovingly with their adoring brood… playing games and gardening and holding puppies and reading books… and the last one was Joan Crawford with her son Christopher… this is the image they chose; poor Joan, just can’t get a break.

I checked gas prices today; the affordable ARCO near my last digs is now $5.20.

I had a lovely chat with Greg and Lacey today who are currently enjoying the charms of Golden, CO before they head back to New York.  Greg has graciously offered to let me stay for a few regardless of when it is.  So, when I am cleared to go back… and I tear myself away from my Surrogate Parents up here at the Manse… I’ll have a place to land. 

(I was relating something similar to my sister Linda who was telling me about some folks who are very good to her; we both agreed we have some great people in our lives.  Ri just got back from the store armed with low-sodium this and no-sodium that and a lovely Mediterranean cookbook for me.)

To that end… I am either going to ship or sell Edgar and fly back.  No way I’m doing this trip by car regardless of how I feel.  I don’t want to be in Deliverance, OK getting a Slushy enema by some EMT who also works the night shift at Denny’s and just had a fight with his Baby Mama… ‘cuz I had an episode of chest pains on the road. 

Another option is to find some nice, calm, reserved Lesbian heading back East to drive my Subaru for me. 

In case you are not up on your stereotypes:  Lesbian=Subaru.

I have been taking my 3-4 walks per day around the grounds here; the heat was pretty significant these past two days… 90’s… so I took laps in the house.  It’s big enough.  We had some dinner and I just took my evening jaunt around the property, in the 80’s now… about 5 laps… I told Guy and Ri that some neighbor is going to call to report a rather large homosexual inside their perimeter.

Good news on this Thursday, end-of-day; my referral was sent over to the Cardiovascular Institute of San Diego so I just need to call in the morning to get whatever appointment I can.  Cardio rehab is gonna be interesting.  I just spoke with a friend who completed 36 sessions of it.  It’s an ass-kicker.

In talking to folks and doing some reading  it is becoming clear that we, as an aging population who are living longer… are noticing the effects when it comes time to availability of care.  For anyone who has worked on medical referrals (myself, my buddy Paula), the wait times for appointments are getting longer and longer.  Providers are booking out farther and farther.  It’s a real thing.  One of the offices I called this week, as I was searching for alternatives for Cardiologists that I could follow up with… June.  And, that’s not even considered bad these days.

End of tomorrow is the week anniversary of “the heartening.”  Also, a week without alcohol.  Might have to let that one go.  Good a time as any, I guess.  Nobody likes a pudgy drunk.  I got sent some pics from my birthday and I am standing next to Perfect Brian with his supermodel waist… meantime, I look like I’m trying to find a berth.  I’m not really disparaging myself, but it is a wake-up call to see yourself like that and realize you can do better.  Maybe I can even get back to ankle modeling at some point…

Okay, clearly not a parent… and my experience with parents is not the stuff I would wish on other kids… (well, maybe Don Jr. and Eric and Ivanka and Spiffany and the other one… Lurch…) But… this is funny and maybe explains some things for some of you:

Now this is cross-generational, cross-class, cross the board spot-on.  Been here?

Friday:  I woke up.  So, I’m feeling pretty encouraged by that. 

For any of you on the blog, you might recall that last year I was seriously thinking about moving to Cathedral City (Palm Springs adjacent.)  Vibrant Gay community, desert vibe (which has its own charm) and a Mecca for old farts to retire in.  Housing is exorbitant (‘cuz, Old Gays with lots of money), but they have some manufactured/mobile home parks where housing is very, very reasonable.  My friend Doug has a marvelous manufactured home in one of them.  Very nice, well-kept park, 55+.  Well, I had visited him there and toured some for sale… even got park approval.  Indian land lease (as are most out there… poetic justice.  We fucked over the tribes back in the day, they fuck us now).  Means you own the unit, but not the land.  So, if something goes awry… lease not renewed for some reason or the park is sold… you have to figure out what to do with your home. 

I found two for sale that were in my price range (read:  cheap) and even toured them with a local Realtor.  Well, the least ghastly of the two was one where a feral cat or two (or twelve) had decided to crawl under the skirting and die.  See, this area has an issue with feral cats.  There’s even an organization that looks after them.  Except, some asshole had been poisoning them and they chose this particular dwelling to complete their departure from this mortal coil.

You can imagine the stench.  Even though the park manager had cleaned everything up, it still lingered and I’m sensitive to smells.  Add to that, the home was 60 years old and needed work… and I was going to pay cash, thereby reducing scant reserves to a frightening level for me.  In the end, it did not make sense.  Also add to that the CRUSHING heat (115 degrees for me is a big deal… “oh, but it’s a dry heat!”) and I further realized it wasn’t going to be the best fit.  So, I passed. 

And, sitting here this morning I find myself thankful that I am recovering in relative luxury and not in the hot, smelly cat house.

I am closing in on my much-anticipated time to drive.  As my stent was put in thru the ol’ groin, there is something about sitting and operating pedals that puts undue strain on that area.  So, they want folks to wait.  Since I can’t get an appointment just yet, I am falling back on vague discharge paperwork and the Internet to guide me.  I might give it a whirl on Sunday and drive down the hill for my haircut.  Even near-death does not deter me from an appointment with my Barber.  As the old adage goes: “if you can’t make your hair appointment, you must send someone in your place.” 

Doug is in town from Cathedral City that day so will be stopping in at The Manse for some quality time with us all.  Meeting Guy and Ri is a real treat and I am having to start managing their bookings.

Currently, my biggest challenge is making sure my elbows don’t get dry.  Not sure how to explain it, but they feel all scratchy. 

I do miss my Safari Park dearly, but I console myself that I would not be enjoying it as much with this heat.  Same for my hikes and sojourn to the lake.

I find I am more mindful of my words; “You’re killin’ me!” takes on a whole new import now.  Like, “I heart you” or… “I’m serious as a heart attack…!” … you get the picture. 

You know, it’s interesting… well, a lot is this week… but, I find that making purchases isn’t what it was.  I had a Crate and Barrel coupon… and I was going to order some spoons.  As one does.  And, I thought… maybe I should wait.  I mean… spoons? 

Okay, Friday 11:30am… I took the initiative and called the Cardiology Institute before they got to me… and, I am going in on Wednesday the 25th.  8:15am.  I feel a bit better.  I will have my list of questions.  I asked the gal if I could drive to my appointment.  *Update:  I now have an appointment on Monday at 9:45 instead!  Feeling good about that. 

Saturday and I’m running the gamut of feeling meh to feeling okay.  It’s a bit of a rollercoaster.  Yesterday morning wasn’t great, but I felt better as the day wore on.  I even took Edgar for an evening drive up to the end of the long road and back.  Lovely in the dusk, all the huge homes set up on the hill with various outdoor lighting.  Lotsa money up in these hills, for sure.  No pain or issues from the stent site, which is why they caution you to wait.

As to feeling crappy, still not sure which is medicine-related and which is general “just give it time to heal” stuff.  Not least of which is the lingering chest thingy that I had when all this went down.  I totally forgot to mention it to anyone and didn’t finish my antibiotic.  Lots to talk to the Doctor about, I hope he makes enough time for me. 

Overheard:

Woman: “My goodness, is that your magnificent Rolls Royce in the driveway?”

Dapper Gent: “Why, yes, it is…”

Woman: “You know, you look a lot like my fifth husband.”

Gent: “How many times have you been married…?”

Woman: “Four.”

Sunday:  I woke up again, so there’s that.  Should be a bit cooler today and Doug is in from Cathedral City for a visit.  So, that will be a nice time.

And, a nice time was had by all.  Guy and Ri were their usual hospitable selves and everyone liked each other very much.  Always a good thing and any time spent with friends is a huge blessing these days. 

Amiright?

Okay, going to send this now because, it just occurred to me… if I am too late, everyone will think I’m dead. 

Staying grateful and sending love, I remain:

Monday again.  This particular day saw me up early (damn the time change!!) and out the door to hit the Safari Park early.  Still… it was jammed at 9:15. I am told… Spring Break.  At least for the young ones, it appears.  HORDES of screaming children.  I successfully got ahead of the pack (Elephant Valley’s opening continues to draw the crowds) and head up to my preferred ground. 

On my way in, there was a gaggle of oldsters on their park-provided scooters (“rent me!!” the placards blare…)

Well, one old gal just stopped her scooter suddenly and I almost hit her.  “Jeezus”, I muttered as I went by… “Well, watch where you’re walking” she retorted.  “Watch where you’re driving,” I tossed off as I sailed past.  “Watch where you’re walking!”  “Watch where you’re driving!” … this went on for a good few moments as I got farther and farther away… we are still volleying with each other, only fainter.  I went by her later in another part of the park in time for one of her party to be overheard saying (laughingly), “someone ought to take that scooter away from you!”  I felt vindicated, but didn’t poke the bear.

I spent as much time outside as I could today, just soaking in the nice weather in hopes that it would make me feel a bit better.  I’ve been running at about 78% for a couple of weeks.  This sinus thingy that traveled to my chest has been a doozy.

I was heading towards Trader Joe’s today and passed by an Urgent Care, just sort of nonchalantly occupying space next door.  Fuck it, in I went.  Nice place, very nice staff… did not take my insurance, so I had to pony up some bucks.  But I am glad I did.  I have been having some lung-chest kinda discomfort when exerting, so the Doctor suggested an EKG.  I figured since I was already in deep, why not… so, we did that.  The nice MA had to shave parts of my chest to get the thingys to stick.  Taking them off was almost as bad as having my back waxed.  But all looked good.  We can rule out heart.  I could have gotten a chest X-Ray, but thought I would go the meds route first.  Not sure I want to see what those decades of smoking might have done to my lungs.

So, I left with an RX for an inhaler, something for cough and an antibiotic (most of these infection things do NOT require an antibiotic, contrary to popular belief but, sinus is 50/50) so she gave me some Doxy.  If nothing else, my skin will clear up a bit.  I can always do chest X-Ray another time if this doesn’t clear.  They had an interesting chart on the door outlining what does and doesn’t need antibiotics.  Fascinating.

I did my usual schtick at the end, “Will I be able to play the violin now?”  “Of course, I didn’t know you played”.  “I don’t, but if you say I can… ”.

Typical Borscht-Belt comedy.  They love me in The Poconos.

Ah, Iran.  It ain’t lookin’ good.  Now that the new guy is even worse than the old guy… I wonder what will become.  I am kind of hoping they just take this guy out, too.  Peel away the layers, remove all the supports… maybe the regime will crash down. 

Here is an article I found that is worth the read; I ran it by Ramak and she told me it resonated. 

My great-uncle was a prime minister of Iran. Can we ever go back?

On a happy note, our Fearless Leader has addressed some of the fallout from the horrid war we are witnessing… never mind the carnage and devastation… gas prices:

President Donald Trump has dismissed the higher cost, telling ABC News Chief White House Correspondent Mary Bruce it's "a little glitch."

"I think it's fine. It's a little glitch. We had to take this detour," Trump told ABC's Bruce in an interview on Sunday before going on to tout the U.S. military campaign against Tehran.

In a social media post on Sunday night, Trump argued: "Short term oil prices, which will drop rapidly when the destruction of the Iran nuclear threat is over, is a very small price to pay for U.S.A., and World, Safety and Peace."

So, rest easy, everyone… it’s a glitch.  Clerical Error.

I am trying to plan my drive East… and for some reason, Google maps will not take me on 40… which I have always used.  Turns out… owing to the major damage caused by the recent flooding in TN and NC, I am being re-routed.  Wasn’t that courteous?  It does appear that I might hit some “weather,” it being Spring and all… and the lingering cold and such… as I’m going Vegas-Utah-Denver-Nebraska-Iowa-Illinois… I will graze the tippy-tops of Indiana-Ohio-Pennsylvania and land gracefully (goddess willing) in New York.  Edgar has his physical next week.  I just got EZ Pass from New York as well.

(Update on the travel; Google Maps has now shown me the route it previously kept from me.  Good gravy… Guy knows a route on 40 that then takes me to 44, so we’ll see if that’s viable.  I might be blogging you in April from Franistan, at this rate.

As an aside:  it would take me 42 days to walk to New York and 11 by bike.  Nice to have options.

Ri baked an enormous amount of cookies and seal-a-meal’d them, so there should be no shortage of baked goods inspiration for me.  I can prolly use them as currency, or a bribe if I get pulled over.  Which, has never happened on my journeys.  Last trip I had a large hawk hit my windshield (scary) and I spent a good 10 minutes stuck in the “manual mode” of my transmission not able to accelerate (also scary) … and aside from a few near-misses heading into cities, it was fine.

I think the scariest thing I have coming is high gas prices and budget lodging.  “Pardon me, Ma’am… what time will you be serving the scrambled eggs from a bag and the bagels made from Chinese drywall tomorrow morning?”

What a marvelous Tuesday afternoon I had; Rayanne graciously stopped by The Manse to pick me up and we headed to Temecula for lunch and browsing at this enormous Vintage store… bonus, Veronica… another lovely human from my past was meeting us there.  She and Rayanne are super close and I am always apprised of her goings-on, but seeing her was a total treat.  They’re those people that you swear NEVER change.  Time has been good to both of them.  We ate at 1909 in Old Town Temecula (really a nice area).  I had some crazy pile of hash with a tortilla, potatoes, shredded pork and scrambled eggs.  It was… interesting.  We ate off each other’s’ plates and a good time was had by all.  Great Wait Staff, including a dead ringer for a young Tom Selleck.  It was uncanny. 

Also, a men’s room with no partition between the urinals.  I briefly wondered if we weren’t having lunch at a Gay bar.  Believe me… I’ve had my share of odd urinals and…oh, guys… remember the trough??  It was either a long set up against the wall where you just peed next to another Dude… trying hard to not let curiosity get the better of you and sneak a gander at the guy’s weenie… (Straight guys do it too) or, it was a big round thing and you all peed facing each other.  Either way, ghastly for a boy like me who is kinda (read:  VERY) pee-shy. 

Sorry; tangent. 

After lunch we headed to the Antique place where… where I found the BEST thing ever… a 1960’s Bulova clock radio with alarm… in pristine shape that WORKED… and 40% off!!!!...  Yet, I resisted.  I’m trying to make sense of what I have to pack currently and adding to it won’t help.  Besides, I have to get Edgar serviced which is a wiser use of funds.   But, damn… it was gorgeous.  Being an adult is hard sometimes. 

Tom Selleck AND a vintage clock radio, though.  That’s something.  But, not today, Satan.

Ri made her famous rice pudding, so I had that for dinner… and the neighbor from across the street just dropped of some Krispy Kreme donuts.

Apparently, Satan was not done with me.

Guy and Ri continue to graciously accept me in their home.  Imagine having someone hunker down in your house for close to 4 weeks.  Good news for them is, it’s a large house.  I used to get antsy if a neighbor stopped over to borrow a wrench and stayed to chat.  “Well, I have an early day tomorrow, so here’s your wrench…” (and it’s only noon.)  “I have something on the stove…” (we’re standing in the kitchen).  “Oh, that’s my phone” (I’m holding it in my hand).  “Is that your phone…?”

There is no excuse for me. 

This one is for Rayanne (and it’s a hoot!):

Ah, Thursday.  And, officially another year older.  I woke up this morning, so I’m already ahead of the game.  Tommy comes up (down?) from Desert Hot Springs today and we are off to the Safari Park.   Then, back to The Manse for a bit and a lunch prepared by Ri and some friends are stopping by.  Sounds like a good day to me. 

And, it was grand.  Tommy and I had a nice time at the park… it’s always great to experience a visit thru someone else’s eyes; I have been so many times and have my routine, but he was interested in other things and I got to see it differently.  It was gearing up for a VERY warm day, so we kind of got out before it got too bad.  But a lovely day it was.

Back up to The Manse for a wonderful lunch prepared and orchestrated by Ri and Guy… great friends and family showed up… it was a great way to spend an afternoon.  Rayanne made me (yes, MADE me) the most awesome crocheted quilt… knocked me out.  Just fabulous.  Connie slipped me a little road trip money… sister Linda got me a travel cooler (it plugs in!) got road snacks from Tommy… marvelous Ri-made lemon cake (my fave); it was just a nice time with nice folks.  You know?  And yes, it is making me a bit more morose about leaving, for sure.

Well, folks… I have jumped ahead to Sunday in the Misadventures of Mikey; get a load of what happened to me!

I’ve talked before about this lung pain I’ve been having; I had the sinus infection which went to the chest and I have really been having to curb activities.  Or, at least go slow.  I was doing my hikes and taking walks, but I would feel this pain creep up and I would have to stop until it dissipated.  About 10 minutes and I was fine for a while.  

Friday nite, I laid down and it came back with a vengeance.  A radiating pain… not sharp, but a weird sort of ache… kind of like when you run real fast and your lungs hurt when you are out of shape.  This kinda went up my jaw as well.  Well, this was the worst it had ever been and it kept coming… so, off to the ER I went at 11pm.  I figured, let’s just get this figured out.

I got there, parked (only finding out later that one doesn’t just park and go in, you have pay a kiosk… meh, it was 11pm and I was in distress.  I was at Palomar Hospital, about 11 miles from The Manse… and there were some characters.  One gal who was going thru all the recycle bins and simultaneously cussing out the security guards, etc.

I had to go thru Security; they went thru my bag… I forgot I had a Swiss Army knife in there… which, they took to be picked up when I left.  Can’t have me sticking anyone with a shiv.

I went up to the check-in desk… only one person ahead of me… finally checked in and mumbled something about the pain I was having, and told to go sit down.  About 4 minutes later (I know, 4 minutes!) I was called back and they decided to do an EKG on me.  Fine.  Let’s get to the bottom of it.  “Okay”, sez Oscar… be right back… he takes the results and not more than a minute later around 8 people were there… guess who was having a heart attack?  This guy.  It was kind of scary actually; everyone asking questions and someone took my clothes and my necklace and put it in a bag…  nobody really telling me yet what was going down… on a humorous note, Ethan… one of the people who undressed me… found a dollar in and amongst by stuff… asked me if it was mine (it wasn’t), but gave it to me anyway.  So, I made money on the deal.

Before I know it, I’m in one of the rooms upstairs and getting ready for the Cardiologist… who went in thru the groin (they shaved my bush… not a Brazilian, but not bad either) and into the heart… (and boy, did I have to pee by this point… so, during the procedure my weenie is stuck in a pee jar-thingy) and turns out, my major artery was 100% blocked.  He showed me the before and after.  I had what is called “the widowmaker”.  I was lucky.    

They brought me back to a room around 12:30 and I wasn’t able to life my head or move my right leg until 6:30 that morning.  I did a lot of peeing into those pee jar-thingys.  I had my peter handled so much I have decided to count it as sex. 

Super nice staff; horrid food, uncomfortable bed… ports sticking out of my arms, EKG pads all over my body (and yes, removing them was painful) the usual.  I had EKG’s at 6am along with blood work… “how did you sleep?”  You gotta be kidding me…

So, now I have to be on blood thinners and a statin and a blood pressure med and baby aspirin and cholesterol meds for the foreseeable future.  No damage to the heart, which is nice. 

I will say, by this morning… I know I had definitely smelled better in my life. 

Guy and Ri were, of course, incredible.  Came to visit, took Edgar back home… worried about me. 

Guy came and got me this morning, took me to get my meds, got me back home… I finally took a shower, organized all the pills, as one does.

I might be at The Manse longer than planned.  I have a lot to figure out.  Ramak joked with me that there were better ways to figure out staying in Cali than having a heart attack…

Everyone was very kind and supportive and concerned; I am told I had a lot of prayers and I remain grateful for all the kindness.  I may not be religious but having a church (yes, Guy and Ri’s church prayed for me en masse)… kinda great.  I had some visits and some offers to visit.  I wasn’t at my best, so I did what I could to discourage as many as I could.  But those who visited and those who wanted to, I am thankful for.

So, that’s me.  For the meantime, I am going to rest and heal; the Doctor said I should definitely walk and do some cardio (light, of course); the heart is a muscle and needs to be worked.  I guess my body will tell me when it’s ready for certain activities.  I'm a little pissed that the EKG at the Urgent Care came back totally fine, but I am told that is not uncommon.  Go figure.

I have not  been discouraged from driving East, per-se… but, I will have to take a route that I can get to an ER or Urgent care if needed.  I am told, once you have a heart attack you are at risk.  Groovy.

And, how was YOUR week?

Monday, Monday… can’t trust that day.  Not sure why, but I’m not the one who originally said it.  These folks did:

The Mamas & The Papas - Monday Monday

Two nites under my belt at The Manse, all is well.  No sirens.  No crazy wig ladies doing their toilette in my pool.  Just good food, good air, good energy, good company.

I drove a roundabout way this afternoon; after the gym and errands I ran up the usual road and wound past the old apartment building on the way to Vons… guess what I saw?  Remember Meth Hillbilly that lived below me and ran the Bike Shop for Homeless Folks?  My mattress now resides on Meth Hillbilly’s balcony.  I shit you not.  There it was.  Hell, I would have just given it to him and dragged it down one floor instead of the nonsense I put myself thru.  But, one less thing to feel weird about, dumping it and all.  I guess.   Except that now he will be sleeping on my bed.  Gonna have to process that one.  Hope he gets more action on it than I did.

Tuesday and a really lovely day at The Safari Park; not a lot of people, it was around 72 degrees… marvelous.  As I was heading in I could see and hear a screaming horde of young kids and their handlers… I quickly got thru the turnstile and off I went.  Not getting mixed up in all of that.

At one point, I was heading down this path and ahead of me, coming up the other way was a family… and you know, there is always that one kid… he kept walking on the area marked “do not walk” ‘cuz of the plants and stuff.  His folks were ahead of him, trying to induce him to leave his folly and catch up to them… “Owen… come on, buddy…”  “Owen, do NOT walk on there…”  “OWEN, they are going to kick us out of the park…”  I walked by Mom and kids down the path to where Dad was trying to coerce the little shit… And I loudly said, “Come ON, Owen!!!!”  The kid grinned up at me, a bit shocked and the Dad said, “don’t make that man yell at you again!” and finally just picked up our little fellow and hauled him off.  Fucking Owen.

Lunch tomorrow with Molly and Bob in La Jolla.  They are in from Bonaire to see family here in the states.  I’m very much looking forward to it.  Haven’t seen them since they got married 18 years ago.  The reception was out on a party boat on Lake Minnetonka!  I flew to Minnesota and took my friend Mama Mae as my plus-1, we had a blast. 

It appears this ghastly war situation, aside from the obvious horrors, is also going to start affecting prices.  I am reading that the impact will be more noticeable than the tariffs were/are.  Looks like I picked a great time to drive across the country!  Not looking forward to visiting the gas pump.  (Update:  $4.79 a gallon).

I was craving  my rolled tacos yesterday after the Safari Park… I have been denying myself ‘cuz I am trying to eat better… but, I couldn’t resist.  So, I headed off to grubby Jilberto’s to scratch my itch.  It was around 11:45 and it was me, some ancient gal with a walker who was tucking into a huge burrito and a couple others.  For ambience, the tv was showing Woody Woodpecker in Spanish.  It was totally worth it.  Three chicken rolled tacos slathered with guacamole and queso fresco.  Hot carrots and onions on the side. 

I have a couple of places on my “go see before I leave again” list and one of them is close to my lunch spot today, so I will go visit prior. 

When I moved here in 1984, my first job and my first apartment were a block away from each other in Pacific Beach. 

So was the first Gay Bar I had ever seen.  It was called The Grand. 

Oddly, the Grand was on Garnet Street which was one street over from… Grand Avenue. 

My apartment was on Hornblend St… me, Mick and John and David.  We all worked at  McDonald’s.  Then, me and Mick and David.  Then, me and Mick.  Who, yes… looked like Mick Jagger. 

I do recall, all of us who worked for The Arches had our refrigerators at home stocked with condiments from work.  You could go to anyone's place, look in their fridge and immediately know where they worked.  We had no actual food, just lots of ketchup and mustard and pickles.  Oh, and napkins and toilet paper, too.  It was always a tense moment if you had any Managers hang out at your place for fear they might look in your fridge.  Until you realized that they had even more stuff at their houses. 

Mick used to do crystal meth and I used to do cocaine.  Coke was cheap back then.  I had a large mirror on the back of my bathroom door, and I took it down so my pals and I could do marathon lines before and after our shift at McDonald’s.  I have a picture somewhere of this gang of ne'er do wells in our apartment one evening having a blast.  I was sort of making up for lost time.  Never having been “cool” in high school, I at least fit in with these ruffians.

(Last I heard, Mick was being chased into the ocean by a bunch of biker dudes ‘cuz he screwed ‘em over or something.)

We had quite the crew… Nancy and DeeDee from New Jersey (Dee is probably the mother of Snookie… whupped-up mall hair and too much makeup), Nancy drove the world’s oldest Lancia… Leslie and John (two dudes) from somewhere on the East Coast… Elaine, Allie and Tee (Elaine showed me how to skim registers, Allie was the bookkeeper and Tee was the Store Manager, so… I had plenty of money for my cocaine)… Dana, this rich kid from La Jolla who had an orange 1970’s BMW 2002 (fantastic car), the owner’s son (stereotypical tall, blonde surfer dude)  and right around the time we were experiencing the Australian Invasion (Men at Work, Crowded House and a host of other amazing bands), two brothers and a sister came to work for us from Down Under.  We were quite the troupe and we spent a lot of time together outside of work.  There was always something going on somewhere.

Many, many parties.  Fantastic music.  Great hair.  It was the 80’s, after all.  A marvelous time and place to start young adult life.

The one and only time I dropped acid was in that apartment.  I still remember listening to Pink Floyd’s “Animals” on our massive stereo/tv console and then driving to the grocery store in Fern, my 1982 Mazda GLC wagon that couldn’t make it up hills if I had more than one other person in the car.

I do wonder what happened to everyone.  Given that I left McDonald’s to go right to one of the world’s most prominent financial firms (from salting French fries to handling millions of dollars in annuities), I suppose anything is possible.  Damn… I think I peaked at 23.

Look at me, streetwalking down memory lane.

Lovely, lovely Wednesday in La Jolla.  I took time to drive thru Mission Beach and Pacific Beach to visit the ol’ stompin’ grounds then off to La Valencia.  They call it The Pink Lady,.  It’s a gorgeous hotel right there near the ocean… the village is beautiful… George’s at The Cove is a couple blocks away… we had a cocktail, some lunch… the view of the ocean was spectacular… The company was marvelous… Bob and Molly are incredible folks… It was a great day and I have a standing invite to go see them in Bonaire.  Which... I am definitely considering.

(I had some time to kill before they arrived, so I did some shopping.  There was one store on Prospect called, “Simple- La Jolla”.  The cheapest thing I could find was a $478 sweater.  'Cuz, you know... simple."

Old money mixes with new in the village of La Jolla and you can immediately tell who’s who.  The old money is unassuming; the new money is yachting caps and white pants and loafers and too much cologne.  The old money walks everywhere and when they drive, it’s a 35 year old Benz.

The road getting out of La Jolla at 3:30pm was a nightmare; but that’s nothing new. 

So funny to see all these super-expensive cars bumper to bumper on this road lined with multi-gazillion dollar houses; how on earth anyone ever lives there is amazing to me.  Just running out to the store, depending on the time of day, requires careful planning.  You buy a Bugatti that does 160 top speed and you can't go three feet at a time.

(Still, I wouldn’t mind that as my problem… I mean… La Jolla is stunning.  LOTS of eye candy, too.  RICH eye candy.)​

I snuck in an extra visit to the Safari Park this Friday… and, true to form… It was packed.  This time, ‘cuz of Elephant Valley opening.  Since most of the screaming horde was focused on that… (where do these massive groups of kids come from???  School field trips?  At those prices?) I was able to quickly ascend the din and have a lovely time.  I have promised myself that on my last visit, I will celebrate by having lunch there.  Damn the expense. 

$18 French fries, here I come!

Random fact:  Queen Elizabeth did not get her ears pierced until 1951.  I can imagine her tossing these on to get the Land Rover’s oil changed at Jiffy Lube:

And, the weekend is upon us.  This week went by kinda fast for me. 

Great chat with Greg this morning, finalizing plans for my arrival and his departure; we MUST make sure I know how to operate the remote(s) in his absence and access the internet, or chaos will ensue. 

Another cherished friendship.  I am a lucky man.

My social calendar is filling up; I have 19 full days left as of this writing and many to see and lots to do.  Not the least is figuring out the pile I have created in the spare room off the bedroom I am currently occupying.  My goal is to set aside a space equal to Edgar’s dimensions so that it all fits. 

I do have a Cathedral City/Palm Springs trip planned before I exit.  Should still be temperate and pleasant.  I remember in June, being flattened by the heat.  So, I think this will be much less impactful.  Final visit with Thorny, another gift in my life.

Has anyone else noticed that in almost every depiction… Jesus is kind of hot?  I just read an article about his name being mentioned in texts as far back as 71AD and the photos that this person used… Jesus was a looker.  Chiseled features, toned, shoulder-length chestnut brown hair and beard… good teeth… good skin… decent toenails… son of God.  I mean, talk about winning the genetic lottery.  Makes me wonder what he really looked like.  I have seen the renderings of Helen of Troy who was purported to be and portrayed as the most beautiful woman of her time… and then you see statues and coins and reimagined images and she was kind of a cow.  Same with Cleopatra.

I’ll take my Jesus ripped and benignly smoldering, thank you. 

Speaking of: Tis the season here in SoCal.  The Mormon Boyz are out in full force.  Riding their bikes everywhere in their short-sleeved white shirts and dress pants… bike helmets and backpacks, out on their missions.  I guess it makes sense to send ‘em here.  Great weather, bikeable.  With all the distraction here, I do sometimes wonder if they don’t pretend to go canvass neighborhoods and just go to the beach instead.  I think we know what I would do.

One good thing about Upstate New York, especially in the colder months… nobody knocking on your door offering to save your soul. 

Oh, and the Mormon Temple which first opened its doors back in the early 90’s for tours in La Jolla is opening them once again to the heathens.  This place is kinda magnificent, looming over the highway.  See what 10% of your income gets ya?

When I was in the buying office for Mervyn’s (Remember Mervyn’s?  For those of you not in the know, it was basically a Kohl’s.  Almost a carbon copy.  So much so, that Kohl’s eventually drove them out of business.  Owned by Target Corp and generally situated right next to a Target); I would have to fly to our different stores and check on displays and stock and such.  Since I was in charge of dress shirts and ties and the like, one of our stops was in Salt Lake City.  Almost the entire first floor of this particular Mervyn’s was taken up with white dress shirts.  These folks don’t play.

We were watching something yesterday about St. George, Utah (my Auntie the Park Ranger spent wonderful years there working at Zion)… well, it is now being built up to a staggering degree.  They showed an aerial view… It was really sad.  Every chain restaurant and bank and retail store you could think of is going in.  I really hate seeing that.  And, right in the midst of all this construction is a Mormon compound of houses... all walled in.  Keeps them in and the riff-raff out, I guess.

By the time anyone reads this, hopefully you have figured out the “spring forward” thingy.  This is the first year I have not had to spend a lot of time changing the clocks on every wall and appliance and table in my sphere.  I kind of like it.  I think I have to get Edgar sorted and aside from a watch and beside clock… done and done. 

Sending special love to anyone “going thru it” right now:  Renee`… Connie… my Auntie… Sissy…Ramak... sending strength. 

I don’t remember exactly what I was searching for, but somehow I found this:

I didn’t even bother to find out why.  I mean… you do you, right?  That’s between Bob and his underpants.

Ah, Monday… still kind of feeling like shit, but I made myself get outside and go for a hike.   I did a gentle hike.  Same route, just achingly slower.  The sun helps a lot.

Then, I did a visit to my scrumptious chiropractor, which… Aside from the benefits of an adjustment, my spirits get lifted just looking at him.  And, he’s a really nice guy.

Folks:  get yourself a good, gorgeous chiropractor.  It almost counts as sex.  And, at my age… having an attractive man put his hands on you… it ain’t half bad.  And, you don't have to make them breakfast.

On the topic of random things:  I also advocate for keeping the tags on things you are not sure you are going to keep.  I had two door mats for my place… I bought them ‘cuz I’m civilized… and never removed the tags.  Just kept ‘em displayed as such.  For 8 months.

And, today I returned them both to Target.  Return without a receipt and store credit. 

I took one of my fans back to Walmart last week after I discovered I had the box.  Store credit.  Of course it pays to check the website and make sure they still sell these things.

Pay attention and learn, Grasshoppers.

I cannot love this enough.  Have you seen it?  Genius.

Overheard:  “Hey did you see a large guy dressed as The Easter Bunny walk by…?” 

“I don’t know, what did he look like?”

Stunned silence.

“If it helps, I did see a cucumber dressed as a zucchini and I thought… that could really mess up dinner.”

Tuesday:  Off to the Safari Park I head… along with every other person in the state of California, it would appear.  WHERE did these people come from?  Did I miss another holiday?  The place was jammed; there were lines to check into the parking lot… I found a spot… got out of the car… headed towards the entrance…and immediately was caught in a stampede of old people.  Walkers and canes and scooters… acres of ‘em.

Not today, Satan.

Part of the reason I enjoy going on a weekday (besides the obvious reason, which is my membership is only for weekdays), is that there just aren’t a lot of people.

And… I’m a futzy old man.  Let’s not forget that.

But I was already there… so, in I went. 

And, then it hit me:  Fran told me that February was “Seniors Free” month.  Ah… this is all making sense.

(And, not for nothing, but Tuesday was “National Tortilla Chip Day” and “I Hate Coriander Day.”)

I managed to find my zone and my vibe and made the best of it.  But it was rather like spending the day with a bunch of grandparents in various states of discomfort. 

“What, another hill?”  And, I will say, they are just as bad as teenagers.  Making animal sounds, trying to get the animals to “do something!”  And a lot of, “what???”  And, “I SAID…”

And, then it hit me again; I am almost these people.  Senior Day is 65+ and I am shortly going to be 62, so... not there YET.  But, I see the future.  And, it has 4pm dinner written all over it.

I witnessed a major throwdown a few minutes ago from the vantage point of my living room.  I could see some dude on a bike descending on the area with the tents that borders Centre City Pkwy… he was really flyin’… I saw him ditch the bike and he had some sort of long thingy in his hand… and he started whacking the hell out of one of the tents.  Then, some dude came out and Bike Dude started whaling on him… and then Whaled-On-Dude started fighting back with some sort of long thingy of his own… tent pole?  And, this went on for a bit… Then, Bike Dude was backing off… heading back in… backing off… until he just took off, sans bike. 

Oh, did he just leave the bike??  ‘Cuz if he was just returning it, I think he needs to work on his social skills.  I’m invested now…

THEN, he comes back with Guy Dressed in Black Carrying Headphones who I guess was “extra firepower” or something. 

Bike Dude gets into it again with this Original Dude… they’re yelling at each other… then, Bike Dude pedals away and Headphone Guy just walks off.  Original Dude goes back to the tent.  I’d be watching my ass, though… Bike Dude and His Posse know where this guy lives.

While all this is going down, everyone at the Community Garden is just carrying on like it’s business as usual.

4 more days.  4 more days.

Now, pay attention to this, you Sexy Social Security Recipients:

I know that the limit one can earn in 2026… above and beyond their monthly benefit… is $24,480.  For everyone UNDER the full retirement age of 65.

Now, if you earn above the $24,480… you get penalized $1 for every 2 you make above the limit.  Drat!!!  Is what I thought and then… then… I dug a bit deeper.

Yes, SSA will withhold the money… BUT… you get it back.  Wrap your gob around this:

If Social Security withholds benefits because you exceeded the earnings limit before Full Retirement Age (FRA), that money is not permanently lost. Upon reaching FRA, the SSA recalculates your benefit to include the withheld months, effectively raising your future monthly payments to make up for the earlier reduction. 

Social Security Administration (.gov) +1

Key Details on the "Payback" Process:

Not a Lump Sum: You do not receive a check for the withheld amount. Instead, your monthly benefit check increases, as if you had claimed later.

Recalculation: The SSA removes the months of benefits you didn't receive due to excess earnings from the reduction factor, permanently increasing your monthly amount.

Earnings Limits (2026): If you are under FRA for the whole year, you can earn up to  (2026) without penalty. In the year you reach FRA, the limit is higher ( in 2026) and only earnings before your birthday count.

Not bad, eh?  So, you get it back… in the form of a higher benefit amount upon reaching full retirement age (65).  Kinda makes the case for not stressing about choosing early retirement, especially if you plan on supplementing your income.  Hell, you go over, you get it back later.  Almost as if you had chosen FRA to begin with.

Takes a bit of the weight off, frankly.  I thought that money was gone forever.

Now, you all know what a fan I am of perspective checks.  Well, today I headed up to Dixon Lake/Daley Ranch to do my hike… I’ve become quite fond of this little routine.  And, halfway up the road to get there, traffic was stopped.  And, I could see in the near distance, this old, dilapidated… really exhausted-looking motorhome.  Parked half-on and half-off the road.  I couldn’t see much or hear much, but what I did gather was this poor dude just ran out of gas on the way up the hill.  I could hear the guy say he needed to go get gas… all the Park Rangers were there… and my heart just kinda bled for the guy.  I didn’t even get entitled-pissy about any of it.  I just turned around and saved it for another day.  Talk about hard luck.  Prolly lives in it, was heading up the hill to park for a while in the lot by the lake… and, whammo!  Life is hard, sometimes, folks.

I just happened to watch something featuring this lady… can we all agree that Maureen O’Hara is BREATHTAKINGLY beautiful?

Just watch Miracle on 34th Street or The Parent Trap… you’ll see.

Another siren-filled evening as I type this at 7:30pm… I guess it has something to do with the Police and Fire HQ so close by… who knows.  I will say, the sheer amount of people racing up and down these roads and around these corners is staggering.  And, slightly frightening.  Kind of glad I have nowhere to be in the evening.  Though, oddly comforting to know that if I am accosted or my person is put in jeopardy by one of the local ditch-dwelling denizens… I’m covered.

Thursday:  More items to consignment, took my hike, headed up to The Manse for a bit… the consolidating of the apartment continues.  Making fabulous progress.

I just happened to glance out the window; always a crap shoot.  I saw a character from Characterville… camo shorts, full COVID face mask regalia…. Long, permed hair flying out in the breeze under his cap… swaggering along… with a flaming pink picnic basket.

Poke me with a fork.

Friday; almost there.  Almost done.  Last nite here.  So NOT sad.

For those of you who have moved a time or two, this is the point where you have packed and shifted most all of your stuff and you are down to the basics to get you thru the duration.  Which means, eating what is left in the fridge and freezer.  This is also the time where I start cursing my love of condiments.  Not sure exactly where I stand, dinner-wise, but it will include pickles and the last popsicle.  I really hate to waste anything.  Maybe I’ll have Honey Nut Cheerios and black olives and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!  On a tortilla.

I could have stayed at The Manse and been fed and pampered, but I need to get up major early to drag the mattress and frame out to the dumpster area without being seen.  The area with the big “no dumping” sign.  I will, of course, just put it next to the other mattress already there. 

I’m out of fucks.  If it were any other situation, I would have arranged to have it taken away, but not at this place.  Payback for the 4 water outages (a couple of them lasting more than a day), the 3 hot water outages (one of them lasting four days), the two power outages, the parking lot vandalism, The Meth Hillbilly’s Bike Shop below me, Cujo who aggressively guards the mailboxes and let’s not forget the SWAT Team and the tear gas episode.  I’m still coughing.

Jackie tells me the bastards got Neil Sedaka.  LOVED him.  What a history, what a contribution.  For those of you not familiar, here’s some info:

Neil Sedaka - Wikipedia

And, one of my favorite songs:

(5) Neil Sedaka - Laughter in the Rain (1974) - YouTube

Saturday and I was up at 5:30, stripped the bed and wrestled that damn mattress out of the apartment, down the hall, to the elevator, down another hall and out to the dumpster area.  I completely misjudged the bulk and the weight of it all; it was quite a sight and I was VERY vocal for 5:30am.  And, damned if there wasn’t one neighbor heading to work, then her husband, then some gal with her dog and then, as I am making my last trip down with the bed frame… my neighbor.  So much for stealth.  Fuck it.  It’s done. 

For comic relief, as I was loading the car a little later I saw Crazy Wig Lady heading back from our pool… where she bathes… as one does… glistening in the morning light.  I am glad I never swam in either pool; I must have known deep down.  I finally finished everything; turned in my keys and the paperwork to waive my lease-break fee… handed Madison her last PB&J and up the hill with a bag of frozen food I headed.  Good riddance.  I did my best to bless the place for what it offered me and then I scrammed.

So, I am here at The Manse until the 28th (at this point) and then Eastward Ho, you ‘Ho!

Freeeeeeeeeee!

Mellow kinda Sunday, back to Del Mar for our morning walk; much to discuss about Iran.  I remain hopeful that the removal of that evil Ayatollah will pave the way for some stability and freedom for the people of Iran.  I think it is complex and layered, but Ramak feels this is absolutely a step forward, so I throw my full support behind her.  I was at my vintage store today and heard two women speaking in Farsi... which I recognize after a lifetime of hearing Ramak and her family speak it... and I chatted with them briefly about the goings-on.  Not sure what they made of me, but I had a momentary connection.

Truly a lovely day, weather-wise… very sunny here in Valley Center, but a fantastic breeze.  Guy and Ri put me to shame with the amount of work they do on the house and the property, so I assist where I can and tell myself I am contributing.  It is quite literally, the least I can do.

I drove out to San Marcos to view some RV’s… it always settles me… I still hold out some hope that someday I can get one of my own.  But, the ones I am looking at are 14-15k pounds, so it would have to be a situation where I found a park and plopped it there for the duration.  I mentioned previously that I like Brinkely; they have really great bathrooms.  We’ll see… My love for manufactured and mobile and tiny homes is strong; not sure what the appeal is, but I dig ‘em. 

I have somewhat of a loosely-outlined plan for when I get back to New York; including stationing myself at Greg’s in Clifton Park and reconnecting with people and places.  Definitely a trip to storage to make sure the beasties haven’t gnawed on my lovely mid-century items.  I have a soft lead on possible employment which will assist me in obtaining a residence, so I feel that I am being guided in setting this move back East up for success.  My m.o. as of late is to ask the Universe to put the people and situations in my path that are going to propel me to my highest and best.  So far, I’m on the right track.

I will say, each day I spend here in this marvelous weather, with marvelous friends… is making it tough to leave, but I think that’s a natural reaction.  I have a lot of history here… but, a lot of that history is just that.  We all know you “can’t go back”, especially when you go back looking for that which is just… gone.

I guess I will leave it all at that.  My buddy Molly and her husband Bob are in town from Bonaire (a whole story in itself… a nice Minnesota girl goes on vacation to exotic island paradise and winds up marrying a Realtor on the island…) and I hope to see them.  Talk about history with friends.

Bonaire - Wikipedia

Okay, Youse… be good.  Be kind.  Recycle.  Eat enough fiber.  Use your turn signal.

Rainy, misty, drizzly Monday… although, as I type this it’s before noon and the worst has yet to hit us.  So I’m told.

As we say in San Diego… “yeah, but we need it….”  Because it rains so infrequently. 

And when it does rain, because we are greedy bitches with our sunshine and perfect temps, we grudgingly acquiesce.  Like we are doing Mother Nature a favor.

I did manage to head out early and go do a hike.  I just have to have fresh air, ya know?  And there were tons of people there ‘cuz of the holiday.  And, to me, “tons of people” could be one sole person passing me on a trail.

On a humorous note, I was stopped on the trail for some reason and I heard distant singing.  Oh, what fresh hell is this… probably that group from Deliverance… if I hear banjo music I am gonna freak… and it was one dude just taking the trail and singing “My Way” at the top of his lungs.  I was impressed. 

I have a soft spot for anyone that lets their freak flag fly.

So:   Monday.  In honor of rain.  This:

(2) Carpenters - Rainy Days And Mondays - YouTube

I have my Motor Week marathon on YouTube… I especially love the “retro reviews” that started back around 1982.  Their first road tests were a Ford Fairmont and a Chevy Citation!

All of this is via Maryland Public Television; I have been a fan for years and years.  I found the retro reviews a year ago or so and am hooked… just underscores for me how blah and bland cars have become; they used to be interesting and unique.  No mas.

I was watching their 25-year retrospective (filmed back in 2007 or thereabouts) and they were running footage of behind-the-scenes… and it got me thinking:  that is a job I wish I would have had in my consciousness back in the day.

I would have been marvelous working for that show.  In any capacity.  The host, John Davis, has been doing these shows since the beginning and is still hosting.  Can you imagine?  I think he is in his late 80’s now and still going strong.

If I could re-do things, I would pursue something like that.  Especially in the beginning of the genre; before these types of shows were common.  Back in the early 80’s, nobody else was doing it. 

Ah, I coulda…

I had to stop at the Dollar Store to get some paper plates and I noticed… there really is a certain demographic that shops there.  Like, routinely.  Fascinating.  I realized for some folks, an outing to the Dollar Store is a treat.  Like, a proper outing.

Kind of like, back in the day growing up… we maybe… MAYBE got to go to McDonald’s once a month.  Maybe.  So, when we did… it was huge.

Tuesday and Jackie tells me the bastards got Jesse Jackson.  A whole lot of the American story right there in this man.

Far from perfect, flawed certainly… but on the right side of history.  Here he is, to the left of Dr. King one day before King was assassinated. 

I can’t wait to see how badly Schrump attempts to honor his service. 

If he even bothers, ‘cuz Civil Rights and all. 

This is worth a read:

The Rev. Jesse Jackson, pioneering civil rights activist and racial 'pathfinder,' dies at 84

We are currently dry this Tuesday morn, so I am going to attempt the Safari Park today.  I’m always curious how the animals handle the rain given that most of them are from very dry climates. 

I have a new favorite word.  I bet we could use that in a lot of sentences, now couldn’t we?

I used to do a thing in my posts where I would do a Word of the Day.  I might pick that up again.  As we (the royal “we”) strive to educate and keep our constituency up-to-speed, it really is my duty (ha!  doodie…) to manage what you folks ingest. 

No grammatical errors on MY watch.  Besides, you just might get picked for a game show and this will all come in very handy.

Did I ever tell you that my good buddy Molly was on (I think it was Wheel of Fortune) and won a Corvette?  She paid for her Master’s with that money.

And, my lovely, brilliant sister-in-law was on Jeopardy!  Like… 3 consecutive appearances, I believe.

So… I do have a glamorous back-story.  I know people.

By the way… this is genius:

Okay, Safari Park was marvelous; packed full, but still manageable.  And, dry!

I spent a good 10 minutes chatting up Will… the guy overseeing Wings of the World… We talked about the various birds, he pointed out his favorite, I asked him if he wouldn’t mind taking his shirt off, we discussed one bird in particular that I liked… he told me yes, he does get shit upon from time to time from the birds above.  I think he was smitten with me.

It was a good morning.

$53 to fill my tank today… and I still had a quarter of a tank left before I did.  I gave Edgar a lecture on being a Mister Greedy Guts, but he’s not willing to change.

Thursday, I take him back to JC Automotive… to Juan… who doesn’t remember me from last time.  Oh well.  At his prices, he can forget me all he wants.

I want to get Edgar checked out before I drive him Eastward.  It would not do to be stranded somewhere (like Gallup, NM) desperately searching for a Subaru dealer. 

Juan has a very small waiting area, so since it will be raining and I have to wait for the car, I will hunker down with my laptop for a couple of hours.  Not looking forward to it.

I’d rather drive to Carlsbad and have my ass kissed by AutoNation Subaru, but I can’t afford it.  Honestly, have you seen the hourly rate for labor alone?  Around $175.  That’s crapulous.

Hmph. 

You’d better be buying me dinner, first.

So, I never watched Dawson’s Creek.  I was aware of it on the periphery, but never saw it.  I even knew some of the actors, just coming across common pop culture tidbits from time to time, but really no connection.  Kind of like Melrose Place. 

Well, having lost James Van Der Beek recently, I have been seeing him everywhere.  I have been reading about him, watching clips… it’s really been a thing.

And, I have fallen madly in love.  The energy and warmth that this man exudes in all his interviews… makes me heartsick that we lost, yet another, seemingly great human.

Fucking cancer.

Here is one you might enjoy; Tig Notaro (one of my faves), the deadpan, mellow comedienne… has a little show where famous people come on and she must guess who they are.  She’s not really good at famous people.

Kind of like What’s My Line from days gone by.  She has a bunch of notes she has been given and then the famous person also has a pile of notes as to who they are that they give her.  Here’s James at his snuggly best:

(1) James Van Der Beek Doesn't Believe in Astrology | Under A Rock with Tig Notaro - YouTube

And, just because I mentioned it, here is a blast from the past:

(1) What's My Line? - Lucille Ball; Faye Emerson [panel]; Shelley Berman [panel] (Jan 1, 1961) - YouTube

In the continuing saga that is selling things online… I posted a couple of newer tower fans that I have that I don’t need to take with me.  I got a message from some gal on OfferUp; suggesting (not even asking) that I drive to Vista… with my $20 worth of fans… and, she will pay me in a week when she gets her check. 

I was suitably firm in my response before I blocked her ass.

My did it RAIN last nite!  Like… super-intensely.  The “stream” across the way is now a full-fledged river.  I feel no better about our homeless population as they see all their efforts at creating shelter just decimated.  I like to think they can take advantage of services nearby, but I’m not sure they do.  If services are not already overburdened.

Thought you might get a chuckle out of this:

I did take my hike today; I felt especially naughty ‘cuz there were “trail closed due to inclement weather” signs posted.  Myself and 2 others that were leaving as I arrived chose to disregard them.  It was a lovely hike, the trails were fine and the sun did come out. 

I felt like I had the place to myself.

So there, Park Rangers.

I think Spring is in the air… as much as you can tell in a town where it is mostly sunny all year long.  The rains are causing all the plants to show their flowers; I love it.

The Safari Park is also benefiting from the rains; the plants look incredible.  The desert really can be a beautiful and inspiring thing. 

Though, I think I might be a “forest near a lake near a mountain” kinda guy at heart.

I might try some sort of skiing this year.  I can see it now:

I stopped in at Target after the gym, just a short walk at the plaza, to pick up some Tums.  I wandered a bit and wound up in Men’s clothing… (I swear that is a set up for a joke… I wandered around and wound up in Women’s clothing… oh, really?  I shot an elephant in my pajamas, what he was doing in my pajamas I’ll never know… take my wife; please).

ANYHOW, I am not a Target shopper for clothes.  A person must draw the line somewhere.  However, I do love a bargain and I did need something a little warm and snuggly for my upcoming car trip… I am sure to hit a bit of chilly Spring weather… and I found this great big blue-ish, green-ish plaid thing with a hood.  Kind of like… a fitted dog bed. 

I’m wearing it right now.

Still no closure on the Nancy Guthrie thing… I can only imagine she might be gone by now.  Two weeks without her heart meds.  I mean, come on…

What a shitty way to end your life, right? 

I am also reminded of the thousands of similar cases that don’t get near the exposure.

I am assuming this is valid and true; because it is blowing my mind if it is.  Have you all seen this?  The comments alone are worth it:

Thursday.  No rain.  Yet.

Got a lovely hike in, spent some time on a bench above Dixon Lake… just taking it all in.  Lots of clouds.  But, this time I really noticed them.  Big and fluffy and taking many shapes… they seemed closer today, somehow.

Lunch with Pamella, my 100-watt friend from my time at Neighborhood Health Care… she is VERY LOUD and VERY animated and I’m exhausted when I leave her presence.  I had one hour with her at her house for lunch and I needed time to decompress afterwards. 

Lovely lady, though.  Good soul.  Makes a passable salad.

It is now almost 4pm and the rain is here, yet again.  And there are sirens.  Lots of sirens. 

You know where there are NO sirens?  Up at The Manse.  I am very much looking forward to a couple of weeks of peace. 

This dump is almost packed up, I am tackling bits each day. 

Now, I love me some trivia:

8pm.  I swear if I hear one more moron gunning it around this corner I am gonna plotz. 

I’m going to start winging objects off my balcony at them.  Nobody’d be the wiser. 

Random pieces of fruit.  A stray canned good, perhaps. 

Nothing screams “slow down!!!” quite like a can of pork ‘n beans thru your back window.

We never had this conversation.

Oh, Andrew Mountbatten Windsor… arrested.

Your Mother would be horrified.

And now, Fergie is apparently losing her shit. 

Those daughters were smart; marry and move away. 

I just glanced out the window on this Friday morning…noticing the sun starting to spread across the sky… a lovely hue of pink and blue… and drawing my gaze downward, WigZilla has emerged from the ditch where her tent(s) are set up.  Looking, I might say, a bit like Cher on her last tour.  She has some sort of towel (?) around her waist, a midriff-baring hoodie and a bright fuchsia wig.  She had a brief boxing match with the air and strode back down to her compound.  Which, I might add… is just feet away from the main road.   

More detail for my “Why You Should Visit Escondido” brochure.

I’m not sure if I am a dyed-in-the wool Democrat anymore.  Maybe I’m more of a Libertarian.  Who the hell knows these days.  There is major suckage in every party.  Frankly, I couldn’t give two shits if you are a Conservative… a Republican… Democrat… These parties have been at each other for years.  Nothing new there.

But, I draw the line at MAGA. 

I didn’t initially peg Kid Rock as a bottom, but… I’m starting to shift a bit…

Kid Rock Joins RFK Jr. for the Most EMBARRASSING Workout Video Ever - YouTube

Driving thru a part of Escondido I never drive thru as a rule… I happened upon a coyote, just running along the lawns and sidewalks… I think it had been hurt, there was blood on its fur… makes me realize how this vast amount of development is impacting wildlife.  Kinda broke my heart a bit.

But, to cheer me up… I will share this with you:

Sunny Saturday and that’s all right by me!

Tommy sent me an excerpt from Liza Minnelli’s memoir… which promises to be quite the ride.  On particular section I really loved; she talks about her marriage to David Gest… which I doubt anyone in America really “got”:

David Gest became my fourth husband in 2002. This guy claimed to love me. He claimed to be very rich. He vowed to change things. And he did. If I could wave a magic wand, I would have avoided this creep like salmonella. I’d have kicked his bony ass to the ground wearing stilettos — which is something he later accused me of doing. How absurd. Why on earth would I ruin a perfectly beautiful shoe?”

That’s my girl.

Packing up continues here at the shtetl.  I have my final walk-thru scheduled for Wednesday.  Madison told me not to clean too deeply as I will be charged a cleaning fee regardless.  For once, I will heed that advice. 

I will try very hard to bless this place as I leave; to be thankful and grateful that… ghastly as all this has been… I did have a roof over my head.  I was able to fulfill my objective in coming back to Cali and Edgar did have a place to rest (covered parking, no less!)

And, I did choose this.  Nobody forced me to live here.

(See?  Adulting).

I skated up to Blue Compass today; I love driving onto the lot, making my way to the back of the service building to where the RV’s I love touring are all located.  I have now made a game out of eluding the salespeople.  It’s a gas.

I really would love a towable; I would have to have someone else tow it for me, of course… but, there are some fine examples of RV living out there… the brand I have now fixated on is Brinkley.  I love their rigs.  I could totally live in one.  But… where?  Gotta work on that one.

Find a park, I suppose… year-round… not sure how much I could decorate it, given that they come “furnished” for the most part… but, I could figure something out.  Some of the upper-end trims have washer/dryer hook-ups, even.

Always thinking…

I mean, look at this thing…

I could make it work.

I finally bit the bullet and started watching the documentary on International Male.  I had heard from a friend who worked there (and was not mentioned in the piece, despite his HUGE contribution to the success of the various catalogs…especially the Undergear Catalog) that it wasn’t very good, but I am liking it.

I especially loved seeing my Dream Man, one of our most popular models (who is still working today, David Knight… swoon…) and being reminded of just how significant this catalog was for its time.  I’ll share a bit of eye candy with you (spoiler alert… he still looks AMAZING):

Here is the link to the doc if you are interested; I was there from ’88-93 (which is a story in itself) and it’s also where I met my good buddy Molly!  Ah, the tales we could tell…

(1)    All Man: The International Male Story - YouTube

One of my take-aways from watching this came from Tony Ward… internationally-renowned, was even in a Madonna video… had sincere image issues.  Never thought he was good looking.  Only saw the flaws.  He got into modeling because someone believed in him enough to encourage him.  And, it wasn’t enough… he still compared himself to the other models.  Fascinating stuff, self-esteem.

Had to miss my beach walk this Sunday; I think I might have had a sinus infection this past week and you know how those can travel to your chest.  Good news is I’m not coughing, but I can kinda feel it sitting there and sleeping was a bit rough.  I figured a nice cold blast of damp sea air was maybe not the wisest choice. 

I hate to miss any time with Ramak and I do worry that Einstein Bagels might have a bad sales week if we don’t show up.

So, preparing myself for my day, loading the car with a few items to take to The Manse… I am heading to the elevator and I hear screaming.  Like… some chick is getting the shit beat out of her.  SCREAMING.  Worrying volume.  I take my phone out, ready to dial 911.  The elevator opens, I look down the walkway… nobody is visible, but the din is terrific.  At that moment, awkwardly steering my bundle of stuff off the ‘vator and to the door… trying to balance my phone in the midst of it all, ready to complete the call to the cops… this gal emerges.  “Honey!!!  Are you okay???  Do you need me to call the police???”  I asks...

Turns out, this gal who is emerging from the apartment that the Maintenance Guy and his enormous children live in… is losing her shit because someone she knows has gotten in “an accident”.  She is on the phone, apparently getting this news real-time.  I don’t fucking know what’s happening at this point.  I focus:

Oh.  Okay.  “So… you’re physically okay and don’t need the police??”

No, I’m okay.

Mind you… she has been WAILING and SCREAMING… like she is being sliced and diced.  At this point, I am triggered and traumatized by the noise and the intensity and the chaos... I am done.

Six.  More.  Days.

I still managed to have a nice visit to The Manse... ah, the peace... the silence... and my Greek Mother made me some chicken soup.  Greek penicillin.  As it were.  Turned out to be a lovely, sunny day.  Always time well spent up there.  

Busy week ahead, as I wind things down here at The Projects.

I have my appointment this week at consignment to unload the rest of my stuff.

Done and done.  Poke me with a fork.

I found myself thinking along interesting lines today as I get ready to leave Cali for the East Coast.  I am getting a lot of texts from friends (informing me of upcoming snow storms and asking “are you sure you want to come back?”)

I am as sure as I can be, I guess.

It just makes sense at this point.  The San Diego I remember doesn’t exist anymore.

But, how lucky was I to get another shot at it?

I am recalling when  I first got here back in 1984.  Yep, that long ago, folks.  19 going on 20.  Damn.  Not even old enough to drink.

I am still questioning my sanity; leaving friends and all the things I really love to do.  Yet, it comes down to affordability.  I can wax as poetic as I want to, but we are a far cry from 1984.

I remember landing in San Diego that February; I had very little money in my pocket, zero debt and no prospects.  Just a wide-eyed innocence and very little fear.

The future seemed wide open and endless in the way of possibilities.  New town, new experiences, blank slate.  Anything was possible.  Magic time.

I recall, by the time I started renting, $450 was the average rent across the board for a one-bedroom.  And, I rented quite a few of them.  Just ask my friends who helped me move.

I did some research and that is roughly $1400 in today’s dollars.

Mind you, that was a lot of money back in the day. 

Today:  not sufficient to even rent a one-bedroom here in San Diego.  Isn’t that crazy?  

You will find very little in the way of decent area/accommodation that doesn’t start with the number “2”.

It was much easier to be fresh and new anywhere 40+ years ago.

So, with a somewhat heavy heart, I prepare to wrap it up and move on.  I get a lot of “are you sure you want to do this??”  I would have preferred to make a success out of this, but until I manage to marry a rich husband… I gots to go.  And, I guess I did make a success out of it.  I don't like to waste time.   

I am so, so glad I was able to do this.  The time I got to spend with friends and family on my “reboot” was invaluable and, if I’m honest, a rarity under an average set of circumstances. 

Jeezus, I hope New York will take me back after all of this.

I guess that’s all for Danzis With Wolves this Sunday.

Stay fresh and lovely and clean-smelling and marvelous.

Somehow, Monday is upon us again.  You know, for as little of this life we can be sure of, you can count on Monday popping its head up… at least once a week.

I got crafty today.  Some dude (actually, nice and articulate and polite) reached out to me on Friday asking about my dining set.  He even worked me on price (I split the difference which generally does the trick) and told me he couldn’t come ‘till Monday to check it out.  No worries, I tells him… hit me up Monday morning and if it’s available, come and get it. 

So, here I am this morning… planning my day… wondering if I can include the disposition of my (rather fabulous, if I do say) dining set.  Dude has not reach out yet.  Not wanting to be the one to initiate contact and see if he still wants it (that always looks a bit desperate and could lead to further price reduction… much like dating…) I decided to send him a “by mistake” message on OfferUp… actually, tag onto the last conversation we had… and I typed “Yes, it is still available” … followed right after by, “Oh, sorry!  That was meant for someone else!”

92 seconds later, “Hey, I was just going to text you…”

Mm-hm.

At 11:10 I was helping him and his wife take it down to their vehicle. 

Danzis With Wolves, he ain’t playin’.

He brought his wife, which was great… ‘cuz I loaded her up with a bunch of free stuff.  I can spot ‘em a mile away.  Wine glasses, sheet set, plastic bowls… I told her, “gift with purchase!”

I ran into Miss Ava from across the hall as she was taking some stuff to her car.  She did the same thing I did with the lease-breaking, but tells me she did not include a Doctor’s note.  So, the resident dashboard already reflects the amount she will owe for leaving early. 

Hmm… mine doesn’t say anything as of yet.  Hoping I might evade this…

I will check daily just so I’m not blindsided.  She seems to think my Doctor’s note did the trick, but I’m not convinced.  I’m fairly lucky, but not that lucky.

Stay tuned.

Had a marvelous early morning breakfast with Thorny today; he was heading back to Cathedral City so we noshed and caught up.  Always a treat.  He’s the one with the fabulous Tiki-inspired home I shared pics of. 

He is actually the only guy IN THE WORLD with a collection of a specific type of mid-century lamps and is roundly recognized as an expert.

See?  I know people.

Sigh… I really miss this man:

Crazy Wig Lady, sans wig, is now setting up her tent for the evening over at the entrance to the underpass.  Tent poles and everything.  No grass growin’ under this chick.  Well, literally, since the ground is cement.

She is wearing white shorts… before Labor Day, so it’s okay… and seems to be having  a heated conversation with one of her shopping carts.  I’m not sure what the issue is, but she is NOT having it.

It’s a shame corporate America can’t recruit these folks… clean ‘em up, get ‘em some therapy- whatever they need… and put ‘em to work whipping staff and projects into shape.

This gal could make a chunk of change.

I just watched her climb up and over the chain link fence for the community garden, so she could access the porta-potty.

This chick has moxy. 

I woke up this morning and checked the world outside my sliding glass door… sometime during the night someone’s car must have been broken into; debris is strewn all over the ground.  Honestly, I need to do a brochure on this area.

“Escondido!  Come for the weather, stay for the chaos!” 

I’ll feature a picture of Crazy Wig Lady holding her doll.

Okay, note to self (and I really should know better):  I don’t watch the news anymore if I can help it.  But, every time I open a new tab on my computer, I get an MSN news feed.  Which has posts from such reputable (the sarcasm is implied) as The Mirror, The Daily Mail, etc.  I get stuck on reading the comments on the post sometimes as well.  Big mistake.  There are a LOT of sick tickets out there.  Sez a lot about who we are as a nation and underscores the ridiculous-ness that is everyone (and I mean everyone) having access to a platform. 

I have been guilty of the “leave a nasty comment on anything I don’t agree with” on multiple occasions and can say I don’t do it anymore, seeing how poorly it reads. 

Also, there is the “this comment doesn’t meet the guidelines” messages that I get if I start to sound too “extra”.  It has forced me to revisit what I put out there. 

I am part of the problem, it would appear.

Tuesday and Wiggy is now packing up her camp for the day; not sure where she is headed but her entourage includes what appears to be 3 shopping carts lined up like a train and a mattress on top of it all.

I got a message yesterday from the woman I called back in July about having a plot in the Senior Garden.  Prolly not gonna pursue that at this juncture… I still think I would have been the guy that just grew stuff and gave it away.  Not sure if they would have frowned on that or not… but, with the size of the homeless population over here… why not feed them?  So what if they litter… It's organic, right?  I’d rather see pits and skins and vines and such as opposed to beer cans and hamburger wrappers.

Madison is still convinced that being so close to the road, all the produce is filled with microplastics.  She might not be all that far off-base.  Though, who doesn’t love a crunchy tomato?

Well, Cats and Kittens… listen to what went down today!

I came back from my hike to find three cop cars in front of my building on the street and two in the parking lot near the side entrance.

As I entered, I could see officers at the far end of the common area/walkway standing outside the alcove leading to someone’s door.

I took the elevator up and as I headed down the walkway (it’s all open and courtyard-y) I could hear them talking and caught “squatter” when one was on the radio.

I headed inside the apartment and (as any good Gladys Kravitz would) dashed to the sliding glass door to see what I could see.  As you know, my windows face the street.

Two more cars arrived.  I looked down the street towards the parking lot entrance and saw two more show up.

Oh my.  Shit is gonna go down.

Of course my brain starts swirling with the possibilities… running thru my limited knowledge of residents here… who could it be?  I could sort of pinpoint the apartment they were in front of, but I was drawing a blank on the occupants.

I decided to push my luck a bit, and went out on the balcony under the pretense of sweeping.  As one does.  (As I never do).

I peeked over the railing and saw two bruisers from the Police Dept… both holding what appears to be tear gas guns.  I managed to catch their attention…

“OH!  Should I go back inside?” I asks… “No, you’re good” Bruiser #1 sez… I skip a beat and ask brightly, “Can I get you anything?”  (Like, I’m gonna drop two pastrami sandwiches and a couple of root beers over the balcony); “No, we’re fine” sez Bruiser #2. 

I took my cue and backed slowly from the railing. 

NOW, I can’t wait to find out what’s going on. 

What in fresh hell is going to happen here?  This is uncharted territory.

Okay, we’re about 40 minutes in now we have a street full of cop cars and hunky-chunky men (and one woman) in tactical gear carrying big-ass guns. 

My thoughts go, of course… to myself and how all this is impacting my day.  I can’t even leave to go the gym.  We appear to be on some sort of lockdown and I’m sure as hell not going to go breezin' thru all this just to get to the parking lot.

Not wanting this time to go to waste, I focus my attention on picking out my future husband.  All these guys look like they are carved out of sirloin steak and platinum, so my choices are healthy.  I settled on the burly Ginger and the sexy meatloaf K-9 officer.  Gotta love a man who’s good with dogs.

Next up, a big white armored thingy pulls up along with two more police cars.  If anyone is keeping count of police cars and possibly playing a drinking game each time I mention one, you’re drunk by now.

And, being the area of Escondido that this is, a crowd is forming across the street, facing the unit where all the fuss is happening… The suspense is heavy… people are filming… (makes me want to go clean up a bit, slap on something a bit sporty… stand on the balcony like Eva Peron and do the parade wave).

Mind you, this is not quite the same thing, but I am reminded of the crowds we had when the goats were across the street cleaning up the green space.

I am expecting someone to open a picnic basket soon.

At this point I am alternating between the bedroom window, the living room sliding glass door and out to the walkway outside my door.  ‘Cuz, as this turns out… the unit in question is directly below me on the 1st floor.  Of course it is.

I peer over the railing on the inside and can see the tops of the heads of a few officers outside the apartment door.  I strain to hear what they are saying, but no luck.

A cop car has just blocked the traffic lane that leads past my building… looks like they are redirecting cars away from here.  I run to the open balcony space on my floor that faces the side street and can see cars and buses backed up down Lincoln. 

Two teens I can only refer to as Beavis and Butthead have taken up a post across the street, just pointing and being teenagers.  Surprised the cops haven’t moved them along… they’re being really loud and predictably, dorky. 

Now the cops inside downstairs are yelling and it sounds like they are trying to break the door down…  they are yelling in Spanish.  Okay, maybe the folk(s) inside are Spanish-speaking.  The plot thickens.  With all the cops on the street and all the cops on the inside, these people are basically left with no options as to escaping.

Now the K-9 unit stationed below me appears to be in a high state of excitement.  I would not want to face that dog.  Since the unit in question is 1st floor, their balcony is more of a patio and that dog is just waiting to leap over the wall…

Honestly, I am not enjoying any of this and would just like to go to the gym.  Everything is quiet all of a sudden… which means shortly, things are gonna get serious.

Some big dude with a shield just came into the building. 

The officers in the building are yelling and trying to reason with whomever is inside.  They are now negotiating in English and keep mentioning the local shelter called InterFaith… known for helping the homeless and other disadvantaged people…. They provide services… so, this is probably someone with some issues that has holed themselves up in a vacant apartment and is asking for InterFaith to be called.  The cops keep saying they will call them.

Don’t get me started on how this person or people broke in… with two security doors in this building that can be opened with a Q-tip and a security patrol that apparently was involved with the cars that had their wheels stolen, I’m not surprised.

For comic relief, one of the idiot teens across the way has found what appears to be discarded underpants, put them on a stick and is chasing the other idiot around with it. 

Honestly, I am not making this up.  Wig Lady must have dropped her drawers.

I see the group outside mobilizing and heading towards the outside of the apartment.  Mind you, I can’t see the unit, but I see exactly where they are headed.

Next thing I hear is the LOUDEST bang I have ever heard.  Followed by lots of smashing glass.  I am told it was a shot that is designed to disorient whomever is being targeted… and it did more than that.  It about blew my eardrums out and, to be frank, sent my anxiety thru the roof.

Next up:  tear gas.

My first experience with that.  If you can avoid it… do.

I dashed out to peer over the walkway railing inside and at that time, my neighbor Zori from the other side of the building comes out, wondering “what the fuck is going on??”  She heard nothing leading up to all of this, so I filled her in.  She came to my apartment to view all the chaos… and about that time, we both got a chest full of wafting tear gas. 

OhMyBob… that was bad.

So, I closed the windows and turned on the fans, desperate to do something… I was coughing for a good while after the drama ended. 

Well, it appears it was one man inside… who clearly spoke English… and they had him down on the walkway and he was screaming his head off.  Eventually, they take him out, street-side and he is a sight.  Wearing some sort of Rode Drive track suit, yelling non-stop at the officers… alternating between “fuck this and fuck that” and, I swear… “you’re all doing a good job.  A good job!!”

So, he was bananas.  I felt bad for the officers and paramedics that showed up, ‘cuz he reverted to just cussing them out. 

Zori got some good photos and some video and now, she is leaving as well.  I believe the gist of her feedback was “fuck this shit!.”

Indeed. 

When I got cleaned up and was leaving to drive up to The Manse, I saw our head maintenance guy and the head leasing gal standing out front of the unit with one of the police officers.  Windows of the unit blown in, broken glass everywhere.

Because I am me, I said… “good thing you weren’t doing a prospective tenant visit today!”

Mind you, the building JUST sold.  This complex has been swarming with the folks that are taking over. 

I can only imagine that conversation at the next staff meeting.

I did make it to The Manse for a lovely pre-Valentine’s Day dinner (what else do you expect when Ri is cooking); my first experience with a bone-in pork roast that looks like a rack of lamb… huge chops and all, that Ri spent days brining and then hours roasting and basting.  No pork ‘n beans for this gal.

They had a couple from their church over, a world-renowned Tenor and his wife and my buddy Connie… lovely people, great stories…great food, cooked with love.  It was a nice ending to a not-so-nice day.

For those of you whom I have not shared this with… here is a video of Guy and Ri done some years back by a local news reporter; it gives you a bit of background on them… you can see why I think they are so spectacular.  So, any time I mention Guy and Ri and The Manse… these are them:

(14) Valley Center couple shows neighborly love with rice pudding - YouTube

Wednesday morning and we have a bit of rain happening.  Which bums me out a bit since I was going to go to The Safari Park today.  I will probably not let it deter me.  What’s a little rain?

The homeless folks are riding around on bikes, holding umbrellas (with varying degrees of success) and one is dressed in full yellow rain gear.  I guess when it rains, you kind of have to move around ‘cuz there is no dry ground to sit on.

This is when I feel particularly bad.  Even with the chaos and destruction that this particular group creates… It's a shitty way to live.

So, I did go to the Safari Park and it was misty/drizzly but I pressed on.  As I was entering the park, the person checking my pass asked me… “How are you, today?”  “Moist”, sez I.  He chuckled and wished me well. 

Later, I was walking up some path and there was this gal taking a picture… I waited until she was done before passing her by… “Oh, sorry!” she said.  “No problem”, sez I… “I’m used to the paparazzi.”  That elicited chuckle #2 of the day.

Frankly, I was out of material after that, so aside from conversations with some birds…  the rest of the visit passed by uneventfully. 

This from the man who once courted the Gay vote:

Trump admin removes Pride flag from Stonewall National Monument | CNN Politics

Ending Wednesday with no SWAT Teams or forced evictions, so I will count myself lucky. 

My neighbor Zori… the gal who hunkered down with me during the festivities… forwarded me the email that she sent to the Management Office regarding the events and expressing her concerns.

She got a very slagged-off response back.  “We are very sorry for the disruption” and “at no time were the Police not in charge of the situation” and “we have a Security Detail that monitors the complexes” and so on.  Mind you, this is the Security Detail I mentioned that is suspect in the recent car vandalism.  No acknowledgement of the useless security doors that no doubt granted him entry.

So, I have a feeling that the Old Guard is leaving and the New Guard is taking over and in the interim… so, just keep the Residents placated.

16 more days.

Thursday and I see sun!  Gonna get me a hike in after I schlep these wing chairs down to consignment.  I am so glad I did not stuff this place full of belongings; it should be much easier to evaporate on the 28th.

Did any of you see that authorities are now reopening the Kurt Cobain death investigation?  It is now being proposed that he did not die by suicide, but rather he was murdered.

Interesting stuff, this.

Side note:  I was thinking I would have to make two trips to consignment with the chairs, but Edgar managed to accommodate both of them.  He’s a good boy.

On my way back, I saw a pickup truck with some stickers on the windows; skulls and scary faces and all manner of unsettling images… then, I saw what I assume is that star… the one that means you worship the devil?  5-pointed in a circle and all that razzmatazz.  Spooky.

I can report… Satan does NOT use his turn signal.

Okay, this isn’t the total picture… but… I at least have embraced some of this message.  My adventures have not necessarily been epic, but this explains my mindset a bit:

Well, I stopped at Vons after my hike to get some fresh tomatoes and onions and serrano chili to make some pico… I have been trying to eat better, lose the sodium and the saturated fats and all… and Satan had set up shop again. 

He disguised himself as a Mom and her two kids selling Girl Scout cookies. 

“Get Thee Behind Me!!!” I yelled as I passed them (before I went inside, I whispered… “I’ll catch you on my way out…”)

I bought my HEALTHY veggies and my blue tortilla chips.

I went back outside and yelled loudly, for everyone to hear: “NO!  No, I say!!  I refute you!  Back away Karen and Brittany and Tiffany!”  (Quietly slipping Mom $6 and making off with a box of peanut butter sandwich cookies).

God is good, y’all.

The workers are here this Friday afternoon, trying to patch up the debacle that is Unit #104.  Taking the boards off the windows and such… still can’t believe that all went down.  And yet… I totally can.

Today is Saturday; I took the requisite PB&J over to Madison and she filled me in on some of the drama… turns out, this person who broke in… absolutely destroyed the unit.  Cabinets and closet doors ripped off, trash everywhere and I guess he really messed up the bathroom.

Madison also told me that it appears… appears, mind you… that I might get to skate out of here penalty-free.  The Regional Manager had questioned her on my stating that I needed to leave cuz… nerves and stress from the chaos… and fortunately for me, the police activity had JUST happened… and Madison pointed that out to her… as in, “what more evidence do you need?” and was told to give me a form or two to fill out “for the files”… so, I summoned my acting skills once more, filled out a couple of forms as if I was the Doctor treating me.  We’ll see if it works, but I don’t plan on turning it in until I leave so… hoping they just want it for the files and that’s the end of it. 

I am well aware that I am getting away with something, but the idea of giving these people ANY more money… is counter-intuitive.  As of today, nothing has changed… no doors are fixed… nothing.  I am feeling less guilty about pulling a fast one.  Especially with Miss Ava moving out and my buddy Zori pulling out as well. 

I somehow stumbled upon this…I will now have to check out the series… but… “Senator Gobbles” got me in the feelz:

Bringing A Live Turkey Home For Thanksgiving | Life In Pieces - YouTube

Newest scam on Offer Up:  “would you consider donating to our new fire station?  I can provide fire station info.  Thanks for considering”.

Signed: “C”.

Brand new account.  No info on the fire station.  No info in their profile.  No previous transactions.

I swear, ya gotta be vigilant with these folks.

One of the major reasons, that when possible… I meet them at the Police and Fire HQ near the house during daylight hours. 

We have a mostly sunny Sunday it appears… but, I am told we are going to get an ass-whuppin’ from Mother Nature this week.  I really want to get to the Safari Park, so I might have to do it in the rain like last week.  Not my fave, but it’s still a good time.  I just do my Singin’ In The Rain shtick and entertain the animals.  Hey… captive audience.

Singin' in the Rain (Full Song/Dance - '52) - Gene Kelly - Musical Romantic Comedies - 1950s Movies - YouTube

(Trivia:  he had the flu when he did this.  I have trouble leaving the house when I have gas.)

Nice Sunday up the hill with the folks; always a great time spent with Guy and Ri at The Manse and of course, I leave with food.  If you are lucky enough to find your Greek Mother late in life, count yourself lucky.  ‘Cuz shrimp scampi doesn’t make itself, not where I live.

Ramak and Wolfgang are in Palm Springs for the Valentine’s Day weekend and she reported to me that the Gays were out in full-force, protesting and supporting Iran which made me proud.  Marginalized people supporting marginalized people and all.  We agreed that, aside from the expense and the shattering heat… Palm Springs would be ideal for me. 

I just realized that tomorrow is President’s Day.  Please excuse me if I don’t celebrate.  I can get behind Lincoln, perhaps. 

I guess that does it for this week… and, what a week, amiright?

Be safe, try to be kind, try not to let the turkeys get you down.  Sending healing vibes to Bill and Nina and anyone else who needs them… life’s a trip, baby.