me + the world

#CLOCKED

Rosemarie wasn’t ready

Rosemarie got dragged by Target.

damnnnnn 

there’s a chinese exchange student in my composition class and we were being presented something about how you can use brackets to signify translation and there was chinese text on the screen and the prof said to him “what does that say?” and he deadpanned “i can’t speak chinese” and everyone sat there in dumbfounded silence and then the presenter clicked to show that the text literally said “i can’t speak chinese” with the most shit-eating grin on his face

Chaotic Neutral

the fucking slapping noise is incredible

This is unsettling.

1-800-R-U-SLAPPIN

A round of applause

I remember when I found out other people chop off the tops of strawberries. I was getting stoned with a bunch of older kids and popped a whole strawberry, top and all, in my mouth. And everyone started laughing and ragging on me for being so high i ate the whole strawberry and I just had to go with it and pretend like I hadn’t eaten every single strawberry of my life like that

Why do I never think about the possibility of snow on the ocean??? Now I see why, because it’s too ethereal