live a good story

This morning I found myself hopeless. I was yet again grappling with the familiar feeling of heart ache. I’m someone who has loved and lost many times in my life. And while I wouldn’t have it any other way (amor fati forever), there are times the cycle of loving and losing wears on me. These days I find myself in the throes of heartbreak yet again. This feeling hurts sharply and sweetly in the…

I have been thinking about how nice it is to be needed. To feel as if something, someone, someplace would not go on without you. To have purpose. To have your absence be noted. How special it is to be needed. How necessary it is to be needed.

When I lost my last love, my brain acted as if there were no other sources. As if love can only come from someone loving me. I expected scarcity, sadness, a feeling of emptiness so large it swallowed me. Instead, my eyes adjusted to the light that is everywhere. The love that is abundant. I thought there would be love lost, instead, it was found all over. In the easy glow of the sun…

I play it small I play it cool I’m an expert at watering myself down Making myself digestible to any anticipated judgments I fear from you “Oh it’s nothing” “Anyone can do it” “No worries, it’s fine” “I’ll be fine” “I’m fine” Why do I downplay myself To make others more comfortable? As if my emotions will swallow them too As if I’m asking too much As if my light blinding others Is…

When I am in the thick of an intense emotion, it feels like all I can recall is other times when I’ve experienced that emotion. My brain lies to me, telling me it has always been this way, and will only ever continue to be this way. When I snap out of it, I’m shocked at the lies my brain spun. I’m even more shocked at how readily I believed them. To me feeling a tough feeling is so polarizing I…

boredom is on the edge of extinction in todays world, there has to be effort put in to feel bored otherwise we are constantly around stimulus- shows, noise, games, personal details of others lives, shopping, and any information we could possibly want to know all available at our fingertips if we wanted to we could live without ever choosing to face our thoughts without taking a moment of…

Above is an episode of my podcast You Are The Healer, by me, Sydney Rinderknecht. Give her a listen and let me know what you think. Leave a review and share with someone you think would enjoy!

I wonder why people operate as if death is not a guarantee of life. As if it always comes as a surprise, when we know inevitably it comes for us all. “Unfortunate circumstances”, “tragedy”, and “I’m sorry this had to happen”. These phrases are exchanged as if there are any other options for us. I hate funerals. Everyone dressed in black. The scent of florals permeates a room in sharp contrast to…

Yard Sales are a Part of Life

Yesterday I was snowboarding at Keystone. A friend I was riding with planned on meeting up with someone from Facebook. We all met, and it was lovely. After a few runs, we stopped at a rest area full of powder, made snow angels, and talked about life. Our new friend, in her late 30s, shared about how she is going through a breakup from an 8-year relationship. They were engaged. The ex is already…

The concerts I attended this summer and how I rated them :-)

I have been an avid concertgoer for essentially my whole life. Since working full time, the majority of my spending money goes to entertainment. Here is the last handful of concerts that I have been to in Denver, CO! April 12: Charlotte Sands, The Happy Fits, and The Maine at Gothic Theatre- 9.5/10 This concert was stellar. The venue was intimate enough where there was crowd surfing yet you…

Recap of my trip to Florida in June :p

My boyfriend and I had planned a couple days to head to Pensacola, FL to visit his family. The prices for flights are absolutely ludicrous right now, but we were able to snag some Frontier Airlines flights. On June 9, our plane started boarding at 4:45 AM. Thus, waking up at 3am that day was very humbling. When we got to DIA, the line to check a bag at Frontier was wrapped around the airport.…

While searching for nursing specific affirmations, I noticed a lack of content. So... I created my own! Enjoy :-)

I am a big affirmations girl. I totally believe in the power of manifestation and how the words you chose to say can change your life. I say affirmations daily and this practice has changed my life. Recently, I’ve been struggling with my job as a nurse. I find myself with pre-shift dread. As a new nurse, I often feel incapable and as if my best efforts still aren’t making a difference. I am…

Weekend camping trip did not go as expected but was still a blast 🤠

This weekend I was out camping with my sister Katie and some friends. I love camping for a multitude of reasons, but getting uninterrupted time with nature is the ultimate driving factor of why I enjoy camping. Waking up to a sunrise, surrounded by trees, birds, and peace and quiet makes it worth shivering in a tent on the hard ground (I know I need to purchase a sleeping bag, okay). In…

Way too much info about my 7-day camper van trip to Utah and it's National Parks!

My sister Ava and I left for our 7-day Utah camper van trip on the afternoon of May 5th. We headed to Walmart and filled up on all the goods we needed. It was a long yet breathtaking 6-hour drive to Moab. Driving the camper van felt a lot more natural than I thought. It was a tad humbling being passed by almost every car due to the 65 mph speed cap on our van. However, I felt that exhilarating…