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trans-ralsei

caughtthedarkness93

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

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raccoonmilf

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

raccoonmilf

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

raccoonmilf

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

raccoonmilf

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

derinthescarletpescatarian

I mean this in the nicest possible way but you're the sort of person that can normally be found only on reddit

funny-tik-toks

strawberry-crocodile

a lot of scares get like a second of reaction before the "oh -_-" moment but dude legit spent a solid ten seconds ready to be killed by a dragon

whitepeopletwitter

doctorbluesmanreturns

this passes peer review harder than anything has ever passed peer review in the history of peer review

curlicuecal

when my littlest brother was a toddler he was apparently under the impression that you could get meat out of an animal without killing it in the same way you could get milk or eggs.

he expressed this as "the farmer milks the cow and then he porks the pig"

thickness-protection-program

Why is this heat so hot 😩

fagapult

It’s the heat

thickness-protection-program

Source?

mamoswole

thickness-protection-program

pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong

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reallyreallyreallytrying

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

laerugo

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

mortimermcmirestinks

holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later

starredforlife

okay i made another quiz but this time it’s which monster you’ll get to hook up with. reblog with your result!!

aragima

is it just me or did the second question have anybody else like

truefangirlheart

#sentient robot/ai #i feel called out #I literally have a degree in cyber security #I like robots a lot but like why you do this to me

plantain-emoji

May your next period be light and end quickly

plantain-emoji

This is literally now my favorite post ever, because its become thousands of reblogs consisting of passing on good fortune. Meanwhile many of y’all added your own comments saying your thanks, and continuing the chain by adding your own little bit of wishful thinking. You are all wonderful.

neeka-neko-deactivated20160625

may you not leak even once

phineas4cobain

NOT EVEN when you sneeze or cough!

insouciantbibliophile-deactivat

may you always have what you need when you need it.

obsessivereaderandwriter

May you have no cramps.

misunderstoodraindrop

May you have no headaches

captainxandis

may you start in your own home/somewhere you are comfortable, in your least favourite underwear and with plenty of pads/tampons on hand

strrylmnde

May you never bleed through your clothing

anie-r

May you be in a comfortable and safe place when the feels inevitably come.

thetrekkiehasthephonebox

May it not come back three days later

lady-charinette

May you not have the combination, the absolute mother of the cursed, the four horsemen of the period:

- High Pain

- Bloodbath

- The Marks

- Itch

alexseanchai

if you have reason to fear you’re pregnant, may your period arrive in a timely manner

beardedmrbean

theman

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

tattooedzombigirl

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

imanutcase-10

Then bring me luck

thirddeadlysin

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

jackdaw-kraai

And notice the potato doesn’t guilt you with “if you don’t, something horrible will happen.” Potato wouldn’t betray you like that, because potato is a refined person of good humor and character, and understands that, sometimes, a visit to your dashboard just isn’t convenient right now. Sometimes you just went on a fandom gif reblogging spree or your energy is low, you do not have the time to make your dashboard suitable to guests, and a polite visit just isn’t in the cards. Potato understands this, and doesn’t get upset, or gods forbid, throws a tantrum and wishes ill on your household. Instead, Potato merely stores away their blessings for a later visit and leaves as a good friend should.

Be like Potato. Be a good friend.

ororium-z

Happy Pride!

rootbeergoddess

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

thesaltofcarthage

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

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jester-de-punyalada

reblog to give the person ur reblogging from an ikea shark

jester-de-punyalada

all of us in the notes rn

jester-de-punyalada

huh...

well all of us now:

[id in alt text]

bats-and-the-birds

I like to imagine that when Bruce is really sick or horribly injured and doesn't want to show weakness, he just... sends Dick in his batsuit to Justice League meetings.

And nobody notices

And a few years later Dick finally ends up in the league as Nightwing and someone brings up how Batman never seems to get sick or hurt, even when they know he's taken big hits, he's always at the meetings.

And Dick just bursts out laughing and falls out of a chair.

flamekinz

It comes time for the next meeting and Bruce had to recently crash the Batwing again and ejected too late, so Dick knows this is a time he would need to step in for him, but being a League member himself now, he doesn’t want to leave his own spot empty.

But he never gets a call. He call’s Bruce but gets no answer. Upon arriving at the meeting, Batman is already sitting in his seat. But Dick knows those shoulders. He’s got a good scowl on and his hands are already laced and in front of his face as Dick takes a seat across from Batman with a smile.

“Amazing recovery time Batman.”

“Mmm.” Jason growls.

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

no no it’s what left behind after the milk has been evaporated cuz only the water goes, not the other stuff

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

THERE’S WATER IN MILK?

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

WHAT DID YOU THINK THE LIQUID WAS?

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

IDK ISNT MILK ITS OWN LIQUID?

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

IT’S MILK-STUFF MIXED WITH WATER

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

MILK STUFF? DOESNT IT JUST COME FROM THE COW’S TIT?

buthowaminotdeadyet-deactivated

ITS LIKE TIT JUICE, THERE IS WATER IN JUICE AND THERE IS WATER IN MILK

derinthescarletpescatarian

It’s fat droplets suspended in water, with some nutrients and soforth dissolved in it. You know, like ranch dressing.

Evaporated milk is just dehydrated milk.

bisforbutch

Obsessed with the user who assumed milk was its own element on the periodic table

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

As op I felt like I had to make this

Milk, the forbidden 119th element

jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists

the only question left is if it’s a metal, non-metal, or metalloid.

derinthescarletpescatarian

OP seems to have classified it as a special case of halfnium, reclassified as a lanthanide. This has fascinating implications for electron orbital geometry.

Anyway it’s a rare earth metal apparently.

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

Yes I definitely classified it intentionally and knew exactly what I was doing when I put it with the lanthanides because I am never wrong

MILK IS A RARE EARTH METAL

derinthescarletpescatarian

I thought so, I took one look at your classification and immediately thought “this is definitely someone with a deep understanding of how the periodic table works”

I’m glad that we have reached a consensus on the expected elemental properties of milk

oceaneyes1834-deactivated202312

I’d really like to know what @derinthescarletpescatarian’s thoughts are on milk’s electron orbital geometry

derinthescarletpescatarian

That would involve writing a crash course in how suborbitals work on a post about whether water (the primary ingredient in milk) is in milk and even for tumblr that’s going a bit far

jesin00

no, it is absolutely not going too far

derinthescarletpescatarian

You guys always complain that you don’t get to learn stuff in normal ways and then you come asking for this

boopboopboopbadoop

MILK IS SEVERAL COMPOUNDS PLEASE YALL ARE KILLING ME OVER HERE

We have a container of dry milk because in addition to a little fat and sugars, it contains proteins, which settle into the pores of nitrocellulose membranes, making sure analytical proteins (specific antibodies) don’t get trapped. We could just use casein (one of the proteins in milk), but milk is much cheaper and can also be found at Walmart.

derinthescarletpescatarian

No milk is a lanthanide keep up

flipocrite

lanthanide?

I think you mean lactanide

derinthescarletpescatarian

I will put lego in all of your shoes

vel0000vet

A cube of milk with 3 inches of edge length can blow up the galaxy.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Our galaxy is actually the result of such an explosion, that’s why we call it the Milky Way

zoroshonkingbazonkadonkas

this is a unique sort of thread in which you’ll find two types of people exclusively: nerds and dumbasses

e-the-village-cryptid

Enter OCEAN EYES and NOT DEAD YET, two of the king’s most quarrelsome stablehands.

OCEAN May one explain what powdered milk doth be? Is it not gas? I live in constant fear.

NOT DEAD The water flees to air, the rest is left. The dry debris then forms the powdered milk.

OCEAN Thou sayest water doth reside in milk?

NOT DEAD Pray tell what thou believ’st the liquid is?

OCEAN Is milk not one pure substance in itself?

NOT DEAD No; ‘tis only milk-stuff mixed with water.

OCEAN Yet milk appears from living cows’ own tits!

NOT DEAD ‘Tis juice from tits, yet water still it holds. If water be in juice, then ‘tis in milk.

Enter DERIN, the scarlet pescatarian.

DERIN ‘Tis drops of fat afloat in water, As if ‘twas dressing for thy greens. With water gone, the powdered milk remains.

A NOTE attached to an arrow, written by BURNING BRAND, flies through the window.

BURNING BRAND’S NOTE Obsessed with he who foolishly believ’d That milk is element of chemistry.

The NOTE crumbles to ash. BURNING BRAND is not seen again.

OCEAN As he who instigated such a fight, I felt that this creation was my duty.

OCEAN unrolls a scroll of parchment with a flourish.

OCEAN Behold, ‘tis milk, one hundred and nineteen.

Enter JASON FUNDER BERKER, a frog.

JASON FUNDER BERKER And yet the burning question still remains: ‘Tis metal, not, or somewhere in between?

JASON FUNDER BERKER does not wait to hear the answer, and exits.

DERIN A lanthinide! A special case, I see. How fascinating, geometrically. But let us leave atomic musings be. For milk is a rare metal of our Earth.

OCEAN Of course it is, for I am always right. My choices are, of course, deliberate.

DERIN I do not doubt thou speakest truth, my lord Thy brilliant mind is utterly unmatch’d. It seems that an agreement has been reach’d.

OCEAN Of course; however, in sincerity I wish to know thy scholar-driven thoughts.

DERIN I fear ‘twould be beyond thy comprehension. To teach to thee would take this much too far.

Exit OCEAN, in a huff. Enter JESIN, BOOP BOOP, FLIPOCRITE, VELVET, and LOVELY DREAMS, curious onlookers attracted to the scene.

JESIN Do teach us, it would not take this too far!

DERIN Ye all complain of learning strangely, Then ask me baiting questions such as this!

BOOP BOOP Thy gross ineptitude shall be my death! Milk is formed of small component parts. The fat, the sugars, proteins all combine They seep through pores of membranes in this drink Unpleasant compounds all are filter’d out. All this obtained for small amounts of coin.

DERIN No, milk is lanthanide, pray keep the pace.

FLIPOCRITE The word thou mean’st is lactanide, I think.

DERIN May sharpened pain-shaped stones fill up thy shoes So that thou never know’st a moment’s peace.

VELVET A cube of milk, three inches on each side Could blow up the entire galaxy.

DERIN Our galaxy was formed in such a fashion. ‘Tis why we gave it name of “Milky Way.”

LOVELY DREAMS Thus ends our entertainment for the night Here fools and pompous scholars come to fight.

Exuent, pursued by a cow.

(Shakespearean adaptation format inspired by @mortimermcmirestinks in this post)

alexaloraetheris

Youpeople have no right to be this funny on my dash so early in the morning

thesylverlining

This is one of those threads that would go perfectly as a video set to “in the hall of the mountain king” and we all know it, I’m just not gonna be the one to make it

classycookiexo

capricorn-born

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

weaselle

fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

vmohlere

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

kellkyy

Its from that meme

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

respectfulmemes

wastelander997

I feel like people forget that Toon Link is, canonically, the only Link aside from maybe the original NES one to permanently kill Ganondorf.

Like in all of Toon Link’s games (at least the ones following Wind Waker) he never fights Ganon again. He kills him once and for all.

This dumbass

I just find that funny

hovfire

he wasn’t even the chosen one or anything he just woke up one day, got his sister kidnapped, made the gods acknowledge him, and killed ganon

modpix-blog

Literally searched the entire ocean to put the triforce of courage back together and rebuilt the master sword almost from scratch.

Also side note ganon is the most cunning and dangerous in this game of them all since he, again, got rid of the triforce and master sword before the game even began.

If he didn’t kidnap links sister he would have won

mr-elementle

It’s my personal headcanon that the reason windwaker’s sequels are so weird in terms of villains, is because this little bastard ENDED demise’s curse. Like the curse was that Demise would return with the hero and zelda over and over, and since this kid WASN’T a reincarnation of the hero he ended the curse by breaking the cycle through sheer big brother energy

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