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Fascinated by the concept that Shane just. Only lives for this tiny fraction of his actual life. What Shane wants, what he shapes every facet of his life and self around for twenty odd years, is to be in the rink, with the stadium bellowing and the scoreboard in his favour.
all he wants is to fucking play hockey, but it’s so LITTLE of his actual life.
it’s all transport and training and exercise and dieting and emails and modelling and coaching and sleeping and cars and planes and locker rooms and hotels and clubs and bars and there’s so little HOCKEY
is it all a fugue state for him? Just a thousand miserable unskippable cut scenes he has to move through until he can be on the ice again?
and what must it be like for him to meet Ilya, for their relationship to gradually develop and intensify until suddenly he’s experiencing the only other thing he would die for.
it must be so identity shattering to find something ELSE you care about that much, and a crisis of faith that would force you to reevaluate everything.
I think that’s an underrated factor behind the tunameltdown, Shane realising that this foundational cornerstone of his identity, that he cares about hockey so much that it degrades everything else in life to him, now has competition.
because he cares about Ilya so much that he is risking hockey.
he wants Ilya in his life properly, not just as another tiny flashpoint between dull, drawn-out moments.
but for Ilya to be in his life like that, he would be putting hockey at risk. It’s something he practically has a mental block around, is literally INCAPABLE of considering.
he’s let it decide every single part of his life: his miserable diet, the horrible modelling shoots and brand deals, missing his parents, repressing his attraction, distancing himself from his friends and team…
all for the benefit of hockey, and all with no hesitation or internal conflict
and now he wants Ilya so bad that it will threaten hockey.
hockey, which he let threaten his family and friends and body and health…
because he wants Ilya more then any of those things.
with how much shane enjoys getting pinned down, i'm laughing about the idea of ilya who knows academically that he and shane are equally matched but who never really transfers that thought to the bedroom because he and shane playfight/wrestle as foreplay but shane enjoys "losing" these particular struggles and thus doesn't really ever use his full strength beyond the opening few seconds
which means the first time shane is riding him and is close to finishing and thus shoves him the FUCK back down when ilya is about to sit up and turn them hits ilya like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN
man is getting held down with a hand to his chest with a force shane hasn't actually used in bed before and he is about to pass! out! from the force of the horny crashing over him
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Been lurking for a long time but think it's time to put my hat in the ring :) Been reading lots of HR fics lately, and have come across several which are just amazing but don't get enough appreciation. Most of these will have fewer than 1k kudos on ao3 - time to share the good news!!
Controlled Contact Is Still Contact by @parcai - E/36k/Complete -Part Two of the ongoing Boys Will Be Boys series
I read this this morning and it inspired me to make this post. Shane's mind in this is a sight to behold. I love Shane's obsession, the way his mind works is really something to sink your teeth into. Cannot wait for the continuation of this.
show me how to be whole again by @rozanohwell - E/43k/WIP
Shane is seriously injured prior to winning his cups. Ilya loses it. Ilya is so cruel in this, but also so hurt. Their relationship is so tense and amazing. Every chapter of this I have no idea what is coming.
and we all fall down by lowkey_existential_despair E/14k/WIP - Part 3 of the ongoing two weddings and a scandal series
This may be cheating, as the first part is much more well known, but unless you were subscribed you wouldn't know that there was a continuation to this. Deals with the immediate ramifications of coming out as married after keeping it secret for 4 years. Completely divine. Read part one if you haven't already.
These Icy Waters by @jeejascoffee - E/34k/Complete
Nothing like I've ever read in this fandom. Magical realism, haunting and little bit of horror. Just amazing
they say it's my fault by Rizandace T/5k/Complete - Part Two of the ongoing all the things (they) said series
This one is hard to explain without giving too much away. Shane really manages everything so badly here, I feel like he is so realistic, he's just getting everything wrong. Part one is Rose POV, Part Two is Shane's.
Doses and Mimosas by Ziuzura E/50k/WIP
I'm not usually one for university aus but this one has entranced me. Shane is bloody mental in this I love it.
temporality/liminality by @hemipenia E/10k/Complete
Rose era narrative. I love seeing authors perspective of the inside of Shane's closet. This one in particular is fantastic.
mirage by ann_sable M/8k/Complete
I'm just going to put the summary to describe this. I can't describe it any better. Tastiest time loop in the world.
Ilya discovers that he can control time. Now he's on a quest to prevent his mother's suicide. Enter Shane Hollander. Enter Shane Hollander.
Enter Shane Hollander.
getting killed by a pretty good life by @blixabargelds E/9k/Complete
Different interpretations on Ilya's mental health are something I seriously love. This one might be the magnum opus for me.
I'm Just Happy You Still Call by @distractivate NR/16k/Complete
One of my absolute favourite Yuna fics. Her relationship with Shane is so nuanced and awesome in this. Yuna's identity is so wound up in Shane's I love the exploration of this here.
get gone by geniflux M/11k/Complete
Shane's various identity issues and lack of control over his own life come to a head. AMAZING!
gens du pays by khafre E/3k/WIP
Shane has a situationship with Sasha. There is so much character work crammed into this short fic. but their relationship, against all odds, works so well. Really interesting perspective.
Honourable Mentions - Ongoing WIPs with over 1k kudos that are beyond amazing.
Carrion Comfort by @stevesbootyshorts E/113k/WIP
I've been following this fic since maybe the third chapter? Has been one of my absolute favourites since the beginning. The character work, the tension and the frankly incredible descriptions of injury makes this just beyond amazing.
Progression by conturbat_me T/27k/WIP
Shane's parents disliking Ilya might be my favourite things ever. This one does it so well. Everything this author writes is gold.
on winning and losing (and ilya rozanov) by fingersfallingupwards - M/89k/WIP - Part 2 of the ongoing old man hollanov yaoi series
This series is just amazing. Very well known but Ilya's teenage son is maybe the best OC ever? Part two is a highlight, as we really experience Shane's trials and tribulations trying to manage his new relationship with his own personal challenges.
Hope You're Not Waiting For Me To Wait For You by Latigra Ongoing Series - E/159k/WIP
I've also been following this since maybe the second part? Quintessential Shane reading I'm afraid. There are chapters in this that I just come back to again and again and again. Most awesome side characters. It's like it's own universe.
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the way shane’s brand deals and ad campaigns made him much more recognizable to non-hockey fans, jeopardizing his ability to have much of a sex life apart from ilya, while also ensuring that ilya was taunted by images of him year-round…the way shane spent the my moon my man montage getting more famous and more awarded and more celebrated and, simultaneously, more and more ilya’s
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A friend of a friend used to live next door to an NHL player and said that they tended to pass the house to fellow players when they got traded or left the area, so she just lived next to a rotating cast of professional hockey players and I can't get this out of my head:
Cliff buys Ilya's house off him when Ilya moves to Ottawa -- mostly furnished, because Cliff needs pretty much everything (bad breakup, she kicked him out and somehow got his condo out of it) and what is money to Ilya Fucking Rozanov? As he settles in, Cliff starts to notice little...curiosities. The smart TV is still logged into Roz's YouTube account and the guy watches a LOT of Shane Hollander highlight compilations? And interviews? And shirtless ads? But whatever maybe it's chirping material. But also there's a ton of ginger ale in the fridge and Cliff has literally never seen Roz -- or, like, anyone -- drink the stuff. Well, he's heard Hollander does. He keeps finding more and more random but extremely telling clues like a fucking Hollanov scavenger hunt and by the time Ilya and Shane get outed, Cliff isn't even surprised, he's just glad his best friend isn't a stalker.
I might have written two paragraphs and that might be all there will ever be.
gummygunk
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