waste of a young heart;

“how DARE you be so bold —–” her accent was thick in disgust, her eyes daggers. “—– i bid you to leave. immediately.” maria knew that sometimes she came across as quite smooth, as she was clearly very beautiful, but it did not forgive DISGUSTING men who attempted absolutely anything with her. she may not have been married, but she was very much taken. the male did not run off, but stayed put, and she knew she could not get him to leave without the risk of looking quite IMPROPER.

          ‘ lord gustaaf. ’

     charlotte’s voice was soft, but firm -- as was her way. fingers cupped in front of her dress, the princess stepped closer to the altercation, eyes remaining focused on the unruly lord. for a moment, it was easy to forget who she was defending. instead, she focused on the man from her homeland. ‘ you are here to represent belgium. and i do not believe that my brother, the king, would appreciate your behavior. ’

     dutch apologies sputtered from the man. ever since she was a little girl, her country had done all it could to make the princess happy. seeing her displeased was not a sight any enjoyed. but instead of operating in anger, the brunette shook her head easily as she held out her hand before kindly dismissing the man.

          ‘ laat ons alsjeblieft. ’

         florian had expected a great deal in terms of her reactions ;; a wide array of upturned lips and hands covering her mouth as she attempted to grasp his news. wide eyes were part of the entire package- but her immediate change of expression- for lack of any better word, had frightened him. once she had decided that she was to speak, he became hopeful, as though she would say something that conveyed any kind of joy- but what he expected had never been his real result. lotte’s question was about his wife, the last woman on earth that he wanted to think of multiple times a day. 

          as his sister went on, florian’s chest was hot and cold, brimming with a feeling he couldn’t point out- the feeling that one had when near the edge of a precipice, just an inch away from the steep decline. and when she finished, he had nothing left to say, nothing intelligent enough, nothing that sounded like a king defending his decisions. and there were no words that he could find, save for those spiteful.

       “ we lost our father to disease when he was perfectly healthy. our second eldest brother died to the wilderness of all things. the eldest to some cruel trick. i have become king when all i wanted was the freedom of princehood, married to a person i wouldn’t even have liked to be acquainted with at all. you may not want to change things- but i do. reputation be damned. “

       emotion dripped from each word ;; he had to take several breaths to calm himself. 

                                           “ but i suppose it’s too much to ask.  “  

           ‘ i do not wish to change things ?! ’

     it came to no bigger shock than herself to see the princess suddenly speak with such anger in her voice. it was not her way. she smiled prettily and insisted on being fine, fine, fine when she was anything but -- when she was nothing but a rotting flower beneath a beautiful but weak body. to see that her brother could not understand that, it pained charlotte more than she could ever fathom. and for once in her life, it was difficult for the brunette to differentiate florian from the other wretched men who took what they wanted without any regard of the pieces they left behind. it felt horrible to think it, but it was how the princess felt in that moment.

          ‘ do you think i have a choice ? ’ her voice raised, cheeks flushing red as she was slammed with the conglomeration of anger, pain, and sadness. it was only then that she realized how long that she’d been holding it in. ‘ i do not have a choice-- hoe durf je ! i have never had a choice. i have simply done what was asked of me ; i have done my duty. even when i did not want to, even when i have been screaming for all to hear for someone to save me. hoe durf je --- if i could change things, i would, florian ! but that is not my life. that is not the privilege granted of someone of my status. ’

    the sudden warm tears that sprung up in her wide eyes were surprising. despite being severely emotional, charlotte kept it behind closed doors to avoid the attention. but these demons and pain had been been clawing its way beneath her ribs and this conversation with her brother was enough to crack them open.

          ‘ antonia will end up like me. is that what you wish ? has she done something so wrong to make you this cruel to her ? and giana -- she is my heart. but she will suffer from this too. ’ the princess tried to calm herself despite the evident trembling of her body. suddenly, she felt utterly ill. ‘ but i suppose you as a man are allowed such a privilege to take and discard. ’ miffed, she turned away. ‘ and hurt your zus with such words. . . ’

- ̗̀ ❝  @lostsculs​

        a visit to his wife’s chambers were something mandatory. one time, he was even locked under the command of the late king so that they would bed and produce a child. they had bedded that night and a child had been produced. but it didn’t live. ever since that day, friedrich had made regular visits to charlotte’s chamber. never again would he be SHAMED with such a degrading treatment.          friedrich always stayed the night even if it’s just for the sake of keeping up appearances. that morning was no different. it was not a comfortable sleep where he fell into a dreamless state where he forgot he even existed. but it was a sleep –– - until the light of day hit his eyes. the man shifted in his sleep slowly, then opened his eyes. the spot beside him empty. “charlotte?” he called out, voice still groggy and husky from sleep.

     she never slept well as of late. nightmares usually awaited her. it didn’t matter whether it was those she cared about harmed or herself drowning in a pool of blood -- the dreams were always haunting enough to keep her either awake or up by the wee morning hours. this time had been the latter. the princess could barely see the sun rising when she had woken to heavy breathing and trembling hands. her piercing gaze swiftly scanned her surroundings before resting on her husband’s sleeping form, oddly deriving comfort from the fact that she wasn’t alone.

     quietly, charlotte peeled herself away from the covers and padded over to the window. a sharp exhale escaped from her lips as she tightened her robe around her, taking a seat on the ledge to look out at the scenery. nature had always been enough to calm her constantly reeling mind. do not be afraid, do not be afraid---

     the soft call of her voice broke the princess out of her reverie, eyes widening as she turned to see a waking freiderich. ‘ sorry. ’ the brunette responded just as softly, fingers toying with one another. 

          ‘ i did not wake you, did i ? ’

he is always walking a tightrope — of who he is, of who he wants to be, what he wishes to do; and the person he has to be, for the sake of his station and the two women he is always drawn too. ( both of them, married, both of them with a sense of duty he knows all too well. and yet, somehow, here he is. in charlotte’s quarters, much like he was in sadiye’s quarters weeks ago. if he is caught here, the punishment would be unlike anything else. it is one thing with sadiye, it is another with charlotte. — deniz has, after all, met her husband and deniz is not in the business of making enemies where there did not to be any. )

“i was only in the kitchens.” he replied, head shaking softly. “all this way is not an apt descriptor. and even if i was far away, — there is not anything i would not do, my lady.” for once someone had deniz’s loyalty, his trust, it was absolute. for a moment, or perhaps, even more, deniz said nothing. he merely stared at charlotte in that intense way of his; drinking her in, letting his eyes drift — checking for anything else that signified something was wrong, other than fatigue and a need for rest. ( how the stars aligned — both of the women he found himself inexplicably drawn too both needed such a thing. )

his lips pursed, and eyes narrowed slightly. “is that all it truly was? overexertion?” there’s a silent question in his words — do not lie to me. that is not what the two of us are. we do not lie to each other.

     instinct was the only thing driving her now. and for the usually careful princess, it showed truly how comfortable she was with deniz. she did not hesitate to reach out for his hands, her small ones barely covering his but still she felt comfort all the same. ‘ thank you. ’ charlotte answered appreciatively. it was rare to be shown attention or care, and suddenly she realized how much she craved it. she never felt as alone when she was with him. it was a feeling she never wanted to go away.

     at his question, the princess resisted the urge to pull her hands back, finding it all too difficult to lie to him. honesty was how they had bonded and how they operated ever since. saying or doing otherwise would be a betrayal to their friendship ( was it even appropriate to call it that ? ). ‘ i-- i am taking a lot of concoctions under the physician’s suggestions... ’ the brunette admitted, bowing her head in embarrassment at the admittance of her failures as a woman. ‘ some of them make me ill, some make me tired--- but it is to help my body grow stronger. ’ 

                    if she lost another child, it would be the end of her.

Faline smiled wide, the corners of her eyes creasing gratefully. “That is very kind of you to say, your Highness.” The woman bowed her head, unable to curtsy at that moment. “My mother taught me when I was very young, so I have had a long time to practice.”

          like tincture to a wound. her words were serious and full of the wisdom that she had given him for her whole life. but for the woman he had seen losing her milk teeth, learning how to ride a horse, getting married, to address him as king, the word whispered with malice in taverns and exasperation in private chambers; it stung worse than anything a bullet or arrow could inflict. she had moved on. she had asked him a question. 

        with a few blinks to bring back his news, florian plastered an all too overused smile on his face, the kind that he kept for her. as much as. she loved georgiana, and as much as she was willing to tolerate of him, she didn’t know, and the news would be a shock, nothing of the ordinary. but every single day that lotte remained oblivious to his intentions killed him. 

     “  i have decided to end my marriage, “ he stated without a single stammer. “ i hold no affection for the queen. i shall instead, marry georgiana, and our story shall not become tragic literature. “ 

   immediately, he placed a hand on her back. her health was frail, and such an announcement was enough to keep anyone out of regular spirits. would she be happy for him, or terrified, concerned, upset that he should have what she wanted so much- a family ?

     “ it’s not easy. not at all. but i have never been one for the sanest of routes. “ 

      charlotte paused at the news, taking in the news with evident shock on her face. she loved georgiana dearly, much like a sister -- but still, this news was not something she could wholeheartedly reconcile with. she was worried of what would come of georgiana’s reputation ; florian was married. and that was not something that could be easily broken in the eyes of god. even more so, charlotte harbored nothing against her sister-in-law that would wish this fate upon her. not only would he receive religious backlash from the vatican but he would receive political as well. 

          ‘ and what of antonia ? ’ charlotte questioned softly. she did not want her brother to think that she did not want him happy, but the brunette was far too logical and careful in her actions to not say a word. florian had to understand. ‘ she will be left with nothing. no one would take up with woman who has since been wed. she does not deserve that. we could lose any friendliness between spain and the holy roman empire because of a family’s loyalty. what of giana, brother ? there will be whispers and gossip that will follow her if she goes through with this, and that alone is enough to damage people’s views on her. ’ 

     the princess sighed, shaking her head as she tried to make sense of this situation from her brother’s point of view. but she was not florian. the two siblings couldn’t be more unlike. and that was evident in their blooming conversation.

It had been a long week for the Polish King. Aleksy had felt withdrawn from the proceedings within the week and had kept company with that of his horse rather than any other. He had just finished a long ride through the woods and was as such in no mood for company when he heard footsteps approach. “I warn you– I am not so much decent, so if you wish not to see my flesh, I would beg you to cease your steps.”

     charlotte immediately averted her gaze, turning away to avoid any visual interaction of any sort. ‘ my apologies, your majesty ! ’ the princess piped up quickly, her voice quite high-pitched. of course, such would be her luck. ‘ i will take another route. ’

charlotte got demeter

your godly parent is demeter, the goddess of harvest, agriculture, and seasonal change. your qualities include: motherly instincts, hospitality, kindness, environmental, nurturing, passive-aggressiveness.

“No, he is not mine. But a flustered woman ran past and pressed her into my arms.” Phillipa wasn’t at all angered by it, though. She loved children with all her heart. “You don’t happen to know the child, do you?”