the losers library

When Eddie’s a bit fuzzy about the date the next day, they put it down to the head trauma. He got stabbed in the face, and then the chest, and then thrown across a fucking rock cave before being dragged out of a collapsing structure by terrified, desperate people; there’s no surprise it’s having some impact.

After two weeks pass, though, and Eddie still wakes up with a frown, thinking it’s June 1st, Richie’s heart sinks.

The universe has never cut them a break. Why would he think it would start now?

-

They can’t explain it to his wife. It’s not that they don’t know how to—though they really, really fucking don’t—but they physically can’t. Nobody has any real idea how to find her at first, and when they do, they’re all just silent. Speechless. There’s nothing to say, nothing that can make sense of any of this, nothing that they can say to defend themselves from her panic and tears. Richie doesn’t think they deserve to, anyway. Six of them went down. They all came back out, so proud that they hadn’t left anything behind, so fucking determined not to leave Eddie behind, no matter how bad it looked… and they’d left something behind anyway.

They didn’t know there were things they couldn’t carry out; they didn’t know that there was a part of Eddie that the clown would get to hold onto.

And Richie can’t help it, but he’s angry. He's so, so angry when he looks at Myra. It’s not her fault, he knows it’s not her fault, but he can’t help but think of all the years she had Eddie without anything missing, all the years she got to spend at Eddie’s side and never have to even question that he wouldn’t recognise her the next day, and it just—-it just really, really fucking sucks.

Myra’s not very sure of herself, but she’s sure of one thing: she’s meant to take care of Eddie. It twists at Richie’s heart, and he wants to argue, but Bev places her hands on his to calm him down. He can’t meet her eyes. He knows she saw what happened in the cistern, even if nobody else did; he knows she saw—

Richie closes his eyes, trying to block out the memory.

It turns out that Richie doesn’t need to argue with Myra; Eddie’s got that covered.

“What do you mean, he refuses?” Bill repeats back at the doctor. “He’s remembering?” Richie’s stomach feels hollow when he hears the hope in Bill’s voice, that undeniable want in his voice for it to all be okay. Richie’s never managed to shoot his hope to smithereens either, but he can’t bring himself to think anything about this is ever going to go well for them. 

He thinks about Stan, and wants to throw up.

“No, he still thinks it’s June 1st,” the doctor says wearily. “I suppose on May 31st, he must have been pretty set against… well, it’s not really my place to say. But every day for the past week, without fail, he’s refused to go home with Mrs Kaspbrak.”

Richie’s heart lurches. Bev glances at him sidelong. He pretends not to see.

“Can I talk to him?” Richie asks abruptly, standing suddenly.

The doctor looks tired. “Technically, no, but given the circumstances and that the five of you are the only ones he asks for… Come with me, Mr Tozier.”

When Eddie’s eyes light up at the sight of Richie, it’s a punch in the chest all over again. Not Eddie being glad to see him—though that sight again after decades not even knowing he missed it never fails to take his breath away—but knowing that it’s not just because he’s a friend, but specifically because it’s Richie, it was Richie that Eddie kissed, Richie that—

Richie that Eddie can’t remember kissing, can’t remember being honest with, can’t remember almost dying for.

It’s like a knife to the gut (though some part of Richie, the part always quipping, is saying that should be Eddie’s line, Eddie’s joke, he earned it, and he did, he did, but he can’t even fucking remember, and Richie doesn’t know how to make any of this funny), that last thought, but it’s not as bad as the way Eddie’s eyes dim in a second. It hurts, thinking that because Eddie can’t remember what happened, he thinks he has to hide how he feels—-like there’s some possible version of reality where Richie Tozier doesn’t love Eddie Kaspbrak back.

Richie doesn’t care about theoretical physics, doesn’t waste his time contemplating parallel lives and all the minute variations of reality that could exist in alternate universes, but he thinks if there are infinite versions of who they are, infinite versions of their lives, there’s got to be one where they get to be happy, where they get to love each other back with no strings attached.

(He doesn’t even question the idea of whether he’d love Eddie in every universe; it’s a fundamental fact of existence. Water is wet, grass is green, and Richie Tozier falls in love with Eddie Kaspbrak stealing his cigarette and stamping it out beneath his shoe.)

“Did we beat it?” Eddie says, and it breaks Richie out of his reverie.

His heart clenches, but he puts on a smile. “Yeah, Eds, yeah, we did,” he says, heading to his bedside and dropping onto his knees. There’s a chair nearby, but it’s another two feet away from Eddie, and Richie doesn’t have the strength to pretend like he can resist being this close right now.

Eddie gives the floor a disgusted glance, flicking his gaze to the chair behind Richie, but his eyes are soft when he finds Richie’s face again, and Richie doesn’t know how to do this. “Good,” Eddie says with a hint of a smile on his face. “I guess I must have faded out after…” His brow furrows, the hint of laughter disappearing from his voice and expression as he tries to recapture the memories which Richie knows are out of reach.

Best as they can tell, the last concrete thing Eddie can remember is the doors, and it just absolutely fucking kills Richie. Ignoring the kiss, ignoring Richie’s desperate blabbering on his knees, ignoring the way Eddie looked at him with such love and wonder and told him that he knew exactly why Eddie had done what he did, that Eddie would do it again in a heartbeat—ignoring all of that, Richie is constantly furious that Eddie can’t remember what he did, that Eddie can’t remember how brave he was, standing up to that clown with nothing but an iron poker and the strongest fucking heart Richie’s ever known. It’s not fair. None of this is fucking fair.

“You hit your head,” Richie says instead of any of the anguished, turbulent thoughts whirling in his head right now. It’s better to cut these off before Eddie gets too distressed. He’s still healing, after all. It’s not because Richie’s scared. It’s not.

He gives Eddie a tight smile. “You should rest up,” he says. “I heard you had a bit of a testy morning already.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says with a frown, “about that… how the fuck did Myra get here so quickly?”

Richie stills. He’s not been allowed to talk to Eddie much over the last few days, hasn’t had to navigate these minefields before. He doesn’t want to lie to Eddie, but the doctors have cautioned them against trying to give him too much input at once. They say he might just need to give his brain some time to rest and recuperate and then it’ll naturally start healing and bringing back some of his memories. Richie knows better, though. Even if it wasn’t just a guess from the doctors, a hopeful last chance that they tried to offer Eddie’s devastated friends in the waiting room, Richie still wouldn’t believe it.

No matter how much Ben wants to hold onto hope, no matter how steady and reassuring Mike’s words are, Richie knows better. The clown would never let them win, not completely.

“We came here pretty quickly after the cistern,” Richie says carefully, the words heavy on his tongue. “Your insurance must be pretty with it, I guess? They contacted her.”

It’s true, they did; but it had taken a few days, a few blissful days where Richie let himself hope that she wouldn’t turn up at all, that Eddie would wake up one morning and remember the day before, that Eddie would be ready to talk to him, to talk about the moment that changed Richie’s life.

Eddie relaxes, though the faintest hint of a frown stays between his eyebrows. “Insurance companies should be quick workers,” he says, vaguely grumpy and so fucking Eddie that a rush of fondness crashes over Richie. He strokes Eddie’s hair without thinking about it, but stills after a second.

He thinks he hears Eddie’s breath hitch.

“It’s a bit annoying, though,” Eddie says, a sense of deliberateness in his voice as he continues. Richie wonders—hopes—if it’s a hint to keep going. He steels himself, and lets his fingers ruffle through Eddie’s hair once more. It’s only the slightest difference, something he can only tell because he’s watching Eddie so carefully, but something in his shoulders relax. Richie lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding.

“What d’you mean?” he asks, semi-distracted by the feeling of Eddie’s hair beneath his fingers.

“I thought I would have more time away from her,” Eddie murmurs, and Richie’s heart leaps into his throat. He’s not exactly surprised, given that Eddie fucking kissed him thinking it would be the last thing he ever got to do, but he hadn’t been sure if his marriage being wrong for him was an epiphany brought about from a life-or-death situation, or something Eddie was cognisant of beforehand.

“Not super devoted husband of you, Eds,” Richie tries to joke, but it gets stuck in his throat, coming out with entirely more hope than he’d like.

Eddie blinks, then gives him a wry smile. “No, I guess not,” he says. “Still, though. I don’t think I love her, and I don’t know if I ever did.”

Richie’s jaw drops open.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Eddie says quietly, and Richie closes his mouth immediately.

“I’m not,” he says hastily, and then amends, “or like, I’m not judging you for it—I just didn’t really expect to hear you say it.”

Eddie looks at him carefully, dark eyes cataloguing his expression, then nods, apparently satisfied with whatever he finds there. Richie wonders what it is—wonders if the way he loves Eddie has always been telegraphed on his face, wonders if Eddie built himself on Richie’s hopeless devotion their whole lives without even knowing what it was.

Then Eddie groans, lips twisting into something which could be a smile if it wasn’t so wry. Richie doesn’t like that look on Eddie’s face—doesn’t like the way it shoots right past self-deprecating and falls straight into something sharp and jagged in Richie’s chest.

“Don’t know where I’m gonna go when I’m out, though,” Eddie says, exhaling like he’s trying to keep calm through whatever fucking paces his mind’s putting him through, and Richie thinks a complete stranger would be able to see through this shitty attempt at a façade.

Richie’s not a stranger, though, and he doesn’t let the grimness beneath Eddie’s words slide with a worried sidelong glance and wisely-kept silence. Richie is Eddie’s best friend, Richie is in love with Eddie, Richie has been fluent in every twist of Eddie’s lips and wringing of his hands since they were six years old, and even though he’d let Eddie away with anything, he can’t do it this time. Not when Eddie looks like that.

Eddie’s pride matters to him, but Richie thinks, just this once, that it’s okay to think that freedom matters more.

“You can stay with me,” Richie says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and maybe it is. Maybe it doesn’t matter that this is absolutely setting himself up for heartbreak, maybe it doesn’t matter that the only thing that sounds worse than forgetting Eddie again is remembering everything while Eddie never moves forward, because at the end of the day, Eddie needs help, and Richie can give it to him.

“Wh—are you sure?” Eddie asks, blinking at Richie. It says a lot, Richie thinks, that his first words aren’t a protest. Eddie hates being taken care of, has always looked suffocated when affection runs too close to the type of ‘protection’ his mother encaged him with, and Richie can’t tell if his clear want for what Richie’s offering is just out of sheer desperation to not go back to his old life, or if it’s because it’s Richie.

A small, traitorous voice in his head suggests maybe he remembers what happened, y’know, subconsciously, and Richie’s heart clenches. Shut up, he orders. He can’t get his hopes up. He can’t make this about him.

“Yeah, ‘course I am,” he says instead, giving Eddie as reassuring a grin as he can muster. “You’ll be doing me a favour, anyway—sometimes it’s a bit boring, just me and my cactus.”

“I’ll water him,” Eddie promises, breaking into a smile. It’s like how the sky looks when the sun comes out, transformed into warmth and golden light, and Richie’s heart lurches. He commits the expression to his memory, and manages a grin back.

-

“So,” Richie says to the doctor, “Eds said he wants to stay with me. But it occurs to me—is he even going to want to in a week, or whenever he checks out?”

The doctor, to his credit, doesn’t raise any eyebrows. In fact, he seems like he expected something like this—maybe if not Richie specifically, that Eddie would be going home with one of them, and not the woman on his health insurance plan. Richie tries not to think about that.

“It’s possible he could forget,” the doctor says finally, speaking with careful deliberation. “But… if it was a decision he came to by himself—if he agreed of his own choice—then I think he’ll remember, at least when suggested again.”

Richie tilts his head, and the doctor sighs. “It hasn’t made a difference how many times he forgets the day before—he still refuses to go home with Mrs Kaspbrak,” he explains. “I don’t think anything is changing in his feelings or long-term, subconscious memories. It’s the short-term details he’s forgetting.”

Richie nods, sits with it, and tries to decide if the feeling in his chest is hope or anxiety. Maybe both.

(When Eddie says yes again, bright smile full of relief, when it’s a week later and time to check him out, Richie feels something in his gut clench. He still doesn’t know if it’s hope or not, but he guesses he’s glad he ordered a spare bed just in case.)

When they settle in a few hours later, Eddie surveys the apartment with hands on his hips.

Richie waits, heart in his throat.

“I’ll water the cactus,” Eddie says after a moment, and Richie blinks. There’s something rising in his chest, something which feels like the sun peeking out from behind the clouds. He licks his lip and thinks: oh. This is what hope tastes like.

-

Most days, when Eddie wakes up, disoriented and confused because his last memories were of darkness and terror and the cistern, the doors, Richie, the doors, Richie soothes him by saying that they made it out, and Eddie just can’t remember because he hit his head, but he’s sure he’ll remember soon. Sometimes, it doesn’t even taste like a lie, acrid on his tongue.

Other days, when Eddie seems more panicked than usual, Richie tells him that they’d been in the hospital for a few days, but he’s okay now, they’re okay, Eddie, you’re okay, we’re okay, everything’s okay, we won—

Some days, Eddie seems to know they killed the clown as soon as he wakes up. Those days are simultaneously the best and the worst, because Eddie wakes up happy, and Richie has always known how to find peace etched into the curve of Eddie Kaspbrak’s smile—but Richie also knows that if he knows they killed the clown, it’s because part of him remembers what Richie’s told him every day, and all Richie can think is it’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fucking fair because it’s not fair, it’s not fucking fair that no matter what memories bleed into Eddie’s subconscious, he never gets to remember everything. He never gets to remember Richie from that day, or from any of the days since.

-

(Richie leaves once. Twice. Three times.

“I can’t do it,” he says, breaking down in tears to Bev on the phone. “Bev, I swear to fucking god, I am trying, I am trying, but I can’t—every day he forgets me all over again, every day I have to remind him, and I just. He kissed me, and he can’t remember… he says he loves me when he’s sleep-talking and when he wakes up he thinks it’s June again, he thinks he’s married again, he thinks—”

It’s around that point in the conversation that he always cuts himself off with choked sobs, and the only thing he can hear is Bev’s murmured comforting noises.

He goes back, though. He always goes back. It’s hard and horrifying and it hurts more than he can bear, seeing Eddie every day and knowing he loves Richie back, knowing he loves Richie fiercely, but knowing that he can’t remember it. It breaks Richie’s heart every day. Sometimes he thinks it breaks his spirit too.

But every time he leaves, he comes back. Say what you want about Richie Tozier, but he always comes back.)

-

“Richie,” Eddie says quietly, “what’s the date?”

His voice is low, but there’s a thinly disguised tremor to it, and Richie blanches as his gaze tracks down to the envelopes Eddie’s holding. Usually, Richie gets to the mail first—to anything that could indicate more time has passed than Eddie could reasonably believe—but sometimes he doesn’t.

Richie looks at Eddie, at the panic clearly building behind his dark eyes, and thinks that these are the worst days.

Then he takes a deep breath, and prepares to explain.

-

“Richie,” Eddie says, and the desperation in his voice shatters Richie’s heart. He looks down at Eddie, and his breath hitches. Eddie’s always been beautiful to him, but he’s never seen this expression on his face before. Urgent and reckless and terrified and desperate, like he’s got something too big to hold in his chest, like he’s dying to get it out but terrified of what it might be.

“Yeah, Eds?” He tries to keep his voice steady. These nights are equally as painful as they are thrilling. Nights like these are the ones he gets to hear, see and feel how much Eddie loves him, but nights like these also have the promise of tomorrow morning hanging over him, when Eddie won’t remember what his own heart feels.

“I don’t want to forget,” Eddie confesses, and he’s crying, he’s crying, and it takes every inch of resolve and strength that Richie can muster not to burst into tears right then and there. It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair. It’s not fair that Eddie never gets to live his life, that even when he survives the clown, he doesn’t get to find out what it’s like to live on his own two feet; it’s not fair that Eddie has to relive the same fucking day over and over and over, that he can’t remember that they kissed in the cistern, that he has to think to himself every day that Richie might not love him back; and it’s not fair that Richie has to know it all but never be allowed to hold onto it, that Richie has to sit here and love Eddie endlessly because it’s built into his bones, even though it hurts so much that he can’t fucking stand it.

It’s not fair that he has hope running through his bloodstream and nothing he does can ever stamp it completely out.

“It’ll be okay,” Richie says, keeping his voice under control, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s forehead. Already he can see Eddie’s eyelids drooping, no matter how much he fights them; it’s been over twenty hours awake now, and after the injury, it’s just been harder and harder for Eddie to have long days. He knows it’s coming. He knows Eddie’s going to drift off soon, and forget everything. Forget him, at least in all the ways that really count.

He just has to keep smiling for a few more moments. Just enough for Eddie to fall asleep, so that he can dream of Richie smiling, so the last thing he sees is Richie telling him it’ll be okay. It’s like comforting someone who’s dying, Richie thinks, except Eddie’s not dead. He dies every day, though. He lives an entire life in a day and he never gets it back. If that’s not a type of death, what is?

Eddie finally drifts off, his breathing even, his head slumped against Richie’s chest.

Richie can’t help it. He lets the tears fall.

-

“Hey, Rich!” Eddie says excitedly. “Rich, we made it! We beat the clown!”

Richie shakes the sleep out of his eyes, breathes in deeply, and builds his armour up again.

“Yeah, Eds,” he says, his smile painted across his face. “We did.”

Sometimes, Eddie would deliberately forget to take his pills, just to see if there was any difference, and once when his teacher brought in some fresh flowers, he had walked up to them to take a whiff, just to see if his allergies kicked in. Both times, nothing happened, but Eddie didn’t want to question his mother as she was his mother, and mothers were meant to take care of their children, not lie to them about being sick. 

Then, when Eddie was fourteen, he had stopped at the pharmacy to pick up his prescription and the pharmacist’s daughter, Greta, informed him that the pills were nothing but placebos. Sugar and water. After that, Eddie started to question all of the illness’ his mother claimed that he had. Did he even have allergies? Did he even need the inhaler? 

It was a long, aggravating process, but eventually Eddie managed to get it out of his mother that he wasn’t actually sick, and that she just wanted to protect him by making him think he was weak and sickly. What followed were four years of high school filled with anger, animosity and a lot of tears. Especially when he came out as gay a few weeks after his sixteenth birthday and annouced that he was dating none other than Richie Tozier. 

God, his mother hated Richie. Not just for being Eddie’s boyfriend, no, she had always hated him, ever since they were little kids and he would run around getting dirty and splashing in all the puddles. She had turned her nose up, reaching for five year old Eddie’s hand, but it was too late as he had already rushed off to join him. Since it was cold, wet and windy, Eddie had ended up in bed with a cold for a week, but it had been the best hour of fun he had ever had, and since then, he and Richie were inseparable. 

At the thought of Richie, Eddie came to a stop, stepping to the side so he didn’t get into anyone’s way, his heart clenching in his chest as his throat closed up. He had spent the past two years trying not to think about Richie, as all it did was make him cry hysterically and cry into his pillow. The thing was, Eddie’s mother had nothing to do with Eddie’s break-up with Richie, at least...not completely. 

When senior year had come around, Richie as well as the rest of the losers began to plan for colleges, applying to all the different places that would get them the hell out of Derry. Bill was even going to London for a year to study as part of a special literature honours programme. Eddie, though, was to remain in Maine, as his mother refused to pay for him to attend any other colleges, and he didn’t qualify for any scholarships. Richie, on the other hand, had been accepted into a college in New York City that would specialise in drama and entertainment. 

They had spent the entire summer together, practically attached at the hip and even his mother couldn’t say anything about it. She was getting rid of Richie after all, so she had no right to say anything about how they spent the rest of their time together. When the last week rolled around, Eddie sat in Richie’s now bare empty room and they had cried together, making the adult decision that it would be too messy to do long distance, and they wouldn’t want to risk ruining their friendship.

That had been that, the next week Richie was gone and Eddie was the only one of the Losers Club left in Derry. The days that he had classes, Eddie treasured as it was time out of the house and away from his mother. Yet, even when she knew he was at class, she would call non stop. Once, when he was in the middle of an exam and had told her so, the police had to interrupt them as she had called the police to say he was missing. He had never been so embarrassed over something in his entire life. 

It was after that specific ordeal, that Eddie made the decision that it was time to leave, and from under her nose he had applied for a transfer to a college in New York that offered his course in medicine and would accept him the following year in their classes. He was accepted almost immediately, and what followed was a quick search for a dorm room as well as packing up without his mother catching on. He had made it up to the week he was meant to leave when she figured it out, causing the biggest argument to date, but there was nothing she could do. He had been given access to the college fund his father had kept for him as well as some extra. Without looking back, Eddie left his mother alone in his childhood home and was on the next train to New York City.

Now here Eddie was, making his way onto the campus to meet with his professors and have a short induction into the course. He had been in touch with them via email, and completed all the same summer work the other students in his class had been given, but they wanted to meet him in person just before the new year began. He had been so focused on not getting lost, that Eddie wasn’t even paying attention to where he was going, and therefore didn’t see the person in front of them until he collided right into them. 

“Shit!” Eddie gasped, dropping the bag he was carrying as the stranger he had bumped into reached out and held onto him. “I am so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He looked up to face the person who he had almost knocked to the ground, when his heart leapt out of his chest and slammed against the concrete. There was no mistaking the man in front of him for anyone else, yet Eddie wondered what twist of fate this was, for out of everyone that Eddie could have bumped into, it ended up being Richie Tozier. 

Richie hadn’t met Eddie’s eyes yet, and time seemed to turn into slow motion as he raised his head, words forming on his lips, “No no it’s okay-” their eyes met and Richie’s jaw dropped a little. “Eds?” His eyes widened to the size of saucers, pupils dancing around as he scanned Eddie’s face. “Oh my god, Eddie!”

Before Eddie could even blink, he was being pulled into a hug, his face trapped in Richie’s jacket. He inhaled, senses being filled with the familiar scent of his ex-boyfriend, and the tears filled his eyes within seconds. He wrapped his arms around Richie’s waist, holding onto him so tight that he didn’t want to let go. He was too scared that if he did, Richie would just vanish and Eddie would wake up back in Derry, still under the control of his mother. 

Yet, that didn’t happen, and Richie pulled away after a few moments, his own eyes filled with tears. He lifted a hand, which Eddie noticed the nails were painted the colours of the rainbow, and wiped them away, unable to stop smiling. Eddie felt as though his face was just the same, his mouth hurting from the smiling. It had been such a long time since he’d seen Richie in person. Of course, they had kept in touch the first few months, but then their schedules got busy and it turned to a few text conversations every few weeks. It was surreal. “I- oh my god...it’s really you…”

“It’s really me!” Richie nodded his head, his hands lingering on Eddie’s arm where it had held on to steady him. “What- what are you doing here? I thought you went to college in Maine?” he asked, biting his lip. Eddie took that chance to scan over Richie’s features. He was a little taller than the last time they’d seen each other, and his hair had grown out, which was now messily tied back into a bun at the top of his head, waves and curls sprouting out at all angles.

Eddie bit down on his own lip, trying to steady the rapid beating of his heart. “I- I transferred. I finally got fed up with my mom and her bullshit and I just left…” he shrugged a little, looking from side to side. “I got accepted to transfer into a course here, and they were happy to have me so I accepted and moved. Stressful but I hope it’ll be worth it.”

Richie’s eyes were shining at this point and he bounced on the balls of his feet, “So...you’re here? Like permanently?” he asked and Eddie nodded his head. “That- fuck...that’s amazing. Uh, shit.” Richie was right back to grinning now. “Uh, are you...are you seeing anyone?”

Eddie’s mouth went a little dry at that and he slowly shook his head, fluttering his eyelashes. “No- No I’m not seeing anyone. I haven’t since- since-”

“Me neither,” Richie confirmed, moving the hand that was settled on his arm moved down to take Eddie’s hand in his, squeezing tightly. Sparks shot up Eddie’s arm and a flush took over his face. It was almost like they were never apart, falling back into their old, almost perfect relationship. Richie hadn’t been with anyone else and neither had Eddie. It was almost like they were just...  waiting for the other. “Do you have plans for tonight?” Richie asked, eyes glinting with hope. 

Slowly, with a smile, Eddie shook his head. “No, none at all. Why?” he asked, even though he knew where Richie was going with his question. “You want to change that?”

“Definitely,” Richie nodded. “I have to go to an appointment right now, but I’ll text you right after and we can meet up when you're done? Spend the rest of the night together? How does that sound?” he asked and Eddie couldn’t nod his head fast enough.

“Yes, yes that...that sounds perfect.” Eddie agreed, glancing at the large clock tower that displayed the time. “I- I need to go, I don’t want to be late…” He really didn’t, but he also didn’t want to let go of Richie. 

Richie smiled, warm and soft, before lifting Eddie’s hand to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to the skin. “Until later then?” He breathed before letting go, taking a step back. 

Eddie nodded, “Yeah...until later.” 

* * * * *

That night, Eddie spent way too long getting ready for his date with Richie, at least he hoped it was a date. Seeing Richie again after so long had just reignited all those feelings he had buried deep down in his chest. He was grinning like a teenager as he put the final touches to his hair. 

When he was ready, he messaged Richie to let him know he was ready and within seconds, Richie was sending him an address to meet him. Eddie wasted no time rushing from his dorm and onto the bus that would take him to the restaurant where Richie asked him to meet. True to his word, Richie was standing outside, flicking on his phone and looking just as handsome as always.

“Hey…” Eddie breathed, walking up to Richie, stopping just a few metres away from him. Richie looked up, his eyes brightening as they landed on Eddie. His stomach flipped. “Hope you haven’t been waiting long?”

Richie pushed off the wall and closed the distance between them, wrapping his arm around Eddie’s waist and pulling them closer together so their chests were touching. “Eds, I’d wait forever for you,” he whispered. He brought a hand up and pushed some of his hair behind his ear. “God, it is possible for you to be even more beautiful now than you were this morning?”

Eddie’s cheeks flushed and he leaned a little closer, “Are you always this much of a flirt?” He whispered back and Richie broke into a large grin.

“Only when it comes to you, Eddie baby,” Richie shot back before taking a step back. “Shall we? I got us a table last minute, the food here is amazing, a perfect place to try for your first night in New York.” He winked, leading Eddie into the restaurant. His eyes widened as they were led over to the table set up for them, handing them a menu. “Get anything you want okay? It’s on me.”

“Are you sure?” Eddie asked, sitting opposite Richie and immediately, their ankles hooked together under the table. It was like they had never been apart, immediately falling into their old routine and Eddie just hoped that the evening would end with another date. He wanted nothing more than to rekindle his relationship with Richie. He was still very much in love with him. 

Richie nodded his head, “I mean it, Eds. Anything you want.” He winked. “Yet, may I recommend you get the carbonara though? It is the shit.”

The waiter came by and took their order, with Eddie following Richie’s advice and ordering the carbonara. Just like Richie had said, it really was the shit and Eddie found himself dragging it out so he could savour the meal more. “Holy shit, this is the best carbonara I have ever had in my life. I don’t want it to end.”

“What did I tell you, sweetheart? You deserve to have your first dinner in New York be one to remember,” he lifted his glass and clinked it against Eddie’s glass. “I don’t want this night to end yet...take a walk with me?” 

There was no way that Eddie was going to turn Richie down. He nodded his head and Richie paid the bill, taking Eddie’s hand as they left the restaurant and walked across the street to the park. They walked in silence for a while, fingers brushing until Eddie couldn’t take it anymore and laced their fingers together. “I can’t believe out of all the people I bump into today, it was the one person I really wanted to bump into.”

Just then, Richie stopped and Eddie stumbled a little, falling back into line with Richie. Eddie looked up at him with a little confusion. Once again, just like he did at the beginning of the night, Richie wrapped his arm around Eddie’s waist to pull him closer, “Eds...fuck I missed you so much. I’ve never stopped thinking about you and...and now you’re here I don’t think I can let you go.”

“Then don’t,” Eddie breathed, his whole body feeling as though it was on fire. He barely managed to suck in a breath before Richie was burying his free hand into Eddie’s hair and pulling him into a kiss that made his toes curl up in his shoes. He kissed Richie back as though he was a starved man. When they pulled away, Richie was grinning and Eddie was grinning. “W-wow.”

Richie pressed a kiss to Eddie’s forehead and squeezed Eddie’s hands. “I know that this is...soon and all but my feelings for you never went away and they never will. Feel free to say no but...would you be interested in being my boyfriend again?”

“Richie...my feelings for you never went away either, and they never will. This- this was fate, us meeting again.” Eddie let out a breath. “I definitely want to be your boyfriend, there was never another answer in my mind. Yes, yes yes!”

With a grin, Richie picked Eddie up, spinning him around and sealing the deal with a kiss. “God, I missed you so much,” he breathed as he sat Eddie back onto the ground. “Want to catch a movie?”

“I can’t believe you did that!”

Eddie burst into Richie’s office, slamming the door behind him. Hands on his hips, he glared at Richie, tapping his foot as he waited for an answer.

“Did what?” Richie sighed, dropping his pen and leaning back in his chair, legs crossed and smirking up at Eddie. “Win us the case? Clear our client’s name? That’s not something you should be angry about, Eds.”

“Don’t-” Eddie began, about to protest the dumb nickname before stopping himself, realizing that Richie just wanted to distract him from the actual issue. He groaned, pacing back and forth in the spacious office as he continued on, “You were badgering the witness Richard! That’s not how you win cases!”

“Tell that to our client, whose name I just cleared a couple hours ago,” Richie scoffed. “I did what I had to do.”

“You almost cost us the case asshole! We were lucky we even won!” Eddie stopped in front of Richie’s desk, slamming both hands on the smooth top as he continued to glare at the man in front of him. He hated the smirk on his face, hated how cocky he looked. Sure, they won the case, but Richie’s attitude annoyed the judge so much Eddie was pretty sure the judge was trying to find a reason to toss him in jail. 

Eddie closed his eyes, attempting to calm himself down. He hadn’t wanted Richie on the case in the first place, didn’t want him as his second chair on any of his cases. Unfortunately, their boss—Richie’s mother—thought otherwise. For some reason he couldn’t even begin to comprehend, Maggie Tozier thought Eddie and Richie made a good team. Despite that, the constant bickering between them made it almost impossible to be in the same room outside of the courtroom.

Richie stood up, placing his hands on his desk and mirroring Eddie’s stance. He leaned into Eddie’s space, making his heart beat faster as he began to speak. “This is the sixth time you’ve come into my office after a case to yell at me after we’ve won. I love a good heated foreplay Eds, I really do, but this never goes anywhere.” Eddie’s eyes began to widen as Richie leaned in, mouth pressed close to his ear as he whispered, “So, why are you really here?”

Eddie shuddered, closing his eyes as millions of expletives crossed his mind, threatening to escape his mouth. He bit his lip to prevent them from slipping out, giving himself a moment to clear his head and just think. Richie was his type. He was attractive— but not so much that it made him cocky— and smart and just the right amount of nerdy that made Eddie smile. It’s true that Richie’s actions pissed him off, but right here, in this moment, Eddie had to admit to himself that it was more than that. 

He was attracted to Richie, and putting on this act of absolutely hating Richie was his way of masking that attraction. Eddie didn’t want anyone he worked with, especially Richie’s mother, to know he had a thing for the boss’ son. Dating someone you worked with was messy, never worked out, Eddie had seen that for himself when Bill and Audra broke off their engagement. He didn’t want that to happen to him, didn’t want to be another spectacle for office gossip fodder. He wanted to be respected and was working towards becoming a partner in the law firm. Any sort of relationship with Richie Tozier would more than likely jeopardize that plan.

Richie pulled back, looking at Eddie with so much desire and sincerity that Eddie couldn’t help but let out a breath. It was shaky, all the composure he had been attempting to hold within himself slowly crumbling as he held Richie’s heated gaze. Before he could fully process what he was doing, Eddie surged forward, and grabbed the collar of Richie’s shirt and captured his mouth in a sloppy kiss.

Richie gasped into it. He thought Eddie would bite back, reject his advances and then threaten to report him to HR. This was way more than Richie had been expecting. He’d always had a thing for Eddie, enjoyed pushing his buttons and getting him riled up. Making out with Eddie Kaspbrak was like a dream come true, and he wasn’t about to wake himself up just yet. 

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Eddie said between kisses. A low growl escaped his lips when all Richie did was smirk into the kiss.

“And yet you’re still kissing me,” Richie responded as he broke the kiss to mouth at Eddie’s neck, nipping lightly. He held onto the back of Eddie’s neck with one hand, as the other moved to begin unbuttoning his shirt.

Eddie gasped at this, and in a moment of clarity, he pulled away. “What are you doing?” He hissed, eyebrows furrowed as he looked back at Richie’s door, as if expecting someone to barge in on them at any moment. “We’re in your office, we can’t do anything here.”

Richie scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “You’re the one that started it! You literally just kissed the hell out of me with no warning!”

“Excuse me?” Eddie began to yell, but quickly lowered his voice to prevent someone from coming in and checking on them. “You’re the one that leaned in and whispered in my ear about fucking foreplay!” 

“God, can we just go back to kissing already?” Richie begged, unwilling to let what he wanted—and he may just finally be getting—get away from him. He had been dreaming of kissing Eddie Kaspbrak from the moment they met. Now that he’d finally gotten a taste of the man in front of him, he wasn’t going to let some stupid argument get in the way of more of what he’d been yearning for since he first reluctantly joined his mother’s law firm. 

His mom had begged him to come work for her, told him she needed someone good to help her after two of her best lawyers had gotten into a fight and were off getting divorced or whatever it was that was going on. He honestly couldn’t care less, only conceding when his mother promised that it would only be temporary.  

Then he met Eddie, and temporary had somehow become permanent. He couldn’t get enough of him. Richie almost felt like a damn dog excited to see their owner coming home after a long day; the way he always lit up when Eddie begrudgingly graced him with his presence. It certainly was no accident that they were constantly being paired up. 

The first time they had worked on a case together, it was because Richie had asked his mom to make him Eddie’s second chair, somehow convincing her that he needed back up. Richie knew Eddie was more than capable on his own, but that didn’t stop him from trying to spend as much time as he possibly could with the other man. 

Once they started winning cases together, his mother didn’t need further convincing to keep them paired up. It didn’t help that Richie felt that Eddie had an interest in him, too. He could feel the way Eddie’s gaze always lingered on him a second too long when he stepped into the room, and noticed  the way he sometimes fidgeted when Richie got just a little too close for comfort. Richie enjoyed teasing Eddie, but he’d started to get impatient. 

“Shut up,” Eddie said as he moved around the desk to stand beside Richie. “Just stop.”

“I didn’t say—” 

“You didn’t have to say anything,” Eddie interrupted him as he hooked his fingers in Richie’s belt loops to pull him closer. “I could hear you thinking. You’re always so fucking loud.”

Eddie didn’t give Richie a chance to respond as he began to kiss him again. Richie kissed back, hands going up to cup Eddie’s cheeks gently as he began to deepen the kiss. As their hands began to wander and explore other areas of their bodies, Richie let out a chuckle. ”So much for not doing anything in my office,” he said.

“I’m leaving.” Eddie rolled his eyes in response as he began to pull back. 

“No! Wait!” Richie said as he desperately grabbed onto Eddie’s hand. “I’ll shut up, I promise. Just...stay. Please.” 

Eddie eyed him skeptically. He didn’t believe for a second that Richie would be able to shut up, but he also couldn’t deny that he didn’t want to leave things this way. He wanted Richie, and judging from the obvious bulge in Richie’s pants, he wanted him too. With one last look at the door behind him, he grabbed Richie’s belt and began to quickly unbuckle it. 

Once he had successfully freed Richie of his pants, he pushed him towards his chair and silently ordered him to sit down. Richie complied, sitting down with his legs spread open in anticipation. He knew what was on Eddie’s mind, and he was more than eager to oblige. As much as Richie wanted to say this wasn’t his first blow job in his office, he’d be lying if he did. 

As Eddie knelt between his legs and began to palm at him through his underwear, he silently prayed that no one would come in and interrupt them. The last thing he needed was for someone to catch them and start spreading gossip about them. That would ruin Eddie, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. At least, outside of the bedroom.

All his thoughts and worries escaped him as Eddie’s mouth made contact with his cock. He bit back a moan as Eddie dragged his tongue up his length then took the tip into his mouth. Richie grabbed Eddie’s hair with both hands and had to fight the urge to push himself further into his mouth.

Eddie took the hint and slowly took more of Richie’s cock into his mouth, stopping when he’d reached his limit. He held the base with one hand as he began to bob his head in a slow rhythm. He loved how hard Richie was trying not to moan out loud, but found himself wanting more than anything to hear just how loudly he could make Richie Tozier moan and beg. 

Remembering where they were, he thought to himself that that would have to wait for another time when they weren’t trying to get caught in Richie’s fucking office. His mom was right next door, and although the walls were anything but thin, they weren’t soundproof either. Eddie closed his eyes, attempting to forget anything that wasn’t Richie’s cock at this moment and quickened his pace, working him with his hand as he continued to blow him.

Eddie could feel the way Richie was beginning to tense up, fingers clutching at his hair a little tighter as he began to reach his climax, when a knock at Richie’s door made them both pause. They looked at each other, eyes wide with panic. 

“Get under the desk!” Richie whispered frantically. Eddie crawled towards it and Richie rolled his chair as close as possible to shield his naked lower half. He could feel Eddie reach forward, grabbing at his discarded pants to hide them from view and silently thanked him by reaching down to stroke his cheek with his fingers.

“Who is it?” Richie bellowed in what he hoped was a calm and composed voice. 

“It’s just me sweetie.” Maggie said sweetly as she opened his door and peeked in. “Were you on a call?”

“Yeah, but I’m done now.” Richie smiled as he took his glasses off to wipe at them in an attempt to avoid eye contact with his mother. He could feel Eddie’s hands on his thighs, slowly inching up to grab onto his cock again. He let out a deep breath before continuing on, “What’s up Mags?”

“Richard, we’re at work.” Maggie warned as she crossed her arms, and gave him a look that made him gulp. He wasn’t afraid of her, but that tone mixed with what was going on under his desk had him on edge. It was as if she knew there was something going on and he was about to get caught. “Show me a little respect, hun.”

“Sorry sorry!” Richie apologized as he hit her with a sweet smile. “How can I help you Mrs. Tozier?”

“Very funny, Richard.” She sighed, but continued on with what she had come into his office to discuss in the first place. “I’m here to talk to you about Eddie.”

Richie could feel Eddie tense beneath his desk, mouth around his length but no longer moving. He could almost feel Eddie freaking out, thinking that they had been caught. That she was about to say that she knew what they were up to and they had to stop immediately. Richie knew better than that though, and he once again moved to comfort Eddie by  stroking his hair.

“What about him?” Richie asked cautiously.

“I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay with him. He seemed a little upset today after you two came back from court.” She said worriedly as she began to frown. “He’s one of my best employees and as much as I love you, I can’t lose one of my best. If you two are having issues communicating…”

“No! No! Everything’s fine, mom!” Richie assured her and waved the idea off frantically. Maggie eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t say anything as he continued to speak. “We argued a bit about the way some things were handled during cross exam of one of the prosecution’s witnesses, but we worked it out. Don’t look at me like that, we did!”

“Okay...but if he comes to me to complain about you, I’m not going to pair you two up together anymore.” She warned, giving him a look that said her word was final and no arguments would be tolerated.

“No need to worry about that!” Richie said happily. “I think Eddie and I worked out our differences. And if he has any complaints that he needs to go to you for then he can suck my di-hhhhh!”

Maggie furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of whether she should lecture him about his foul language or worry over him. Richie held his hand up, waving his sudden outburst off as he stopped her from getting closer to his desk. “Don’t worry, it’s just my stomach. I think I might have eaten something bad after we got out of court.”

“O-okay.” Maggie nodded worriedly. “Hurry up and head home then, I don’t want you puking all over that expensive desk you made me buy for you.”

“Gee thanks, mom,” Richie scoffed. “Here I thought you’d tell me to hurry home and make sure I’m okay, but alright I won’t puke on your precious desk.”

Maggie laughed as she backed out of his office, assuring him that she in fact was worried for his health and to hurry home as soon as he could. Once she was gone, Richie sighed, and pushed  away from Eddie so that he could glare at him.

Eddie glared back as he crawled out from under the desk, refusing to break eye contact. “I can’t believe you just told your mother I could suck your dick!”

“Well, you’re already doing that!” Richie shot back. “What’s the issue!”

Eddie laughed at his response as he attempted to calm himself down. “God, you’re insufferable. You’re the worst.”

“Your words can’t hurt me anymore, Eds.” Richie grinned at him as he winked. “Your mouth has been all over this insufferable dick and judging by the sexy moans coming out of your mouth while you were sucking me off, I’m definitely not the worst you’ve ever had.”

“That’s not what I meant asshole and you know it!” Eddie hung his head in defeat. There was no winning an argument with Richie and it bugged the hell out of him, but he still couldn’t resist him. This was the person he liked, and he’d just have to deal with it. He stood up and attempted to smooth out the wrinkles on his pants as he avoided eye contact with Richie. 

“You’re leaving?” Richie asked, hurt evident in his voice. Eddie frowned a little at this, and shook his head.

“No! Well, yeah, I am,” Eddie stammered but continued on before Richie could interrupt him. “I’m leaving only because I don’t want to get caught here, but if you’re interested, you could come over to my place tonight?”

Richie perked up and smiled excitedly and Eddie could practically see the hearts in his eyes as he looked at him. He couldn’t help but smile adoringly back at him. “I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

“It’s a hell yes, Eds!” Richie said as he got up to dress himself again. He wanted to leave, follow Eddie to his place as soon as possible. Needed to have his mouth all over Eddie and listen to him beg for more as he fucked him into his mattress. First though, they needed to make it past everyone in the office without raising suspicion.

They smiled at each other one more time before Eddie made his way to the door, checking to make sure the coast was clear before heading out. Richie’s smile dropped, realizing that he didn’t get Eddie’s address before letting him leave and he suddenly wondered if Eddie had played him. Had he said all that just to get out of his office as quickly as possible? Before he could continue to panic about whether Eddie was just messing with him, his phone vibrated on his desk and he immediately grabbed it to check it. 

He liked to think that he was friends, or at least on speaking terms, with almost everyone in the school and in his year. Yes, there were certain people, like Henry Bowers and his gang, that Eddie knew to stay clear of, but other than them he had no real issue with anyone. 

Certainly not with Richie Tozier, even though he couldn’t say the same for Richie himself. 

Richie was probably the smartest student that Derry High had ever had. Ever since he was a kid, his brain was always one step ahead of everyone else and by the time he was in middle school, he could probably take exams meant for college seniors. Eddie could remember when they were freshmen in High School and Richie had been interviewed by specialists from different Ivy League colleges, and was even offered a place, but he turned them down. According to his best friend, Stan, it was because he didn’t want to grow above his means. 

Back before cliques became a thing and Eddie was accepted to the track team, Richie and he used to be friends. Close friends even. Richie’s dad was still best friends with Eddie’s dad, and sometimes Eddie would overhear them discussing why their son’s weren’t friends anymore. Eddie wished that he knew the answer to that one too. Of course, he had asked Richie a few times, but the other boy just shook his head and turned in the other direction. Now, Eddie can’t even say hello without Richie running away from him. 

Eventually, Eddie stopped trying. If Richie wanted to speak to him, then he could approach Eddie. He was done being the one trying. 

About a month after Eddie had made that decision, the worst thing that could possibly happen...happened. Just after fourth period, Eddie was making his way to the lunch hall when he overheard the dulcet tones of Henry Bowers and his gang of fuckwits. He rolled his eyes, planning on walking past them and avoiding any confrontation, when Richie’s voice cut through and Eddie froze in his place. 

“Wait, hold on, just...give me that back.” Eddie rounded the corner and surveyed the scene. Richie was up against one of the lockers, held there by Patrick, and Henry was flicking through what was obviously Richie’s science project book from the stickers plastered all over it. 

Henry pursed his lips, flicking through the book with no interest whatsoever. “I mean, you are a smarty pants, Tozier, shouldn’t you be able to whip up another one of these bad boys in a few hours or so? Or are you not as smart as you make out to me? Have you been lying to everyone this whole time?” He laughed and slowly ripped a page out of the book, letting it float to the floor.

“No! Please!” Richie shook his head as he tried to get out of Patrick’s grip, but the bully was too strong against his gangly form. The sight made Eddie sick to his stomach. “It’s not that easy, I’ve been working on it for months, it’s not easily re-created.”

As Henry rolled his eyes, Eddie decided that it was time to make himself known, before the bully did in fact, ruin all of Richie’s hard work. “Don’t you have anything better to do, Bowers? Like fucking graduate?” It was a low blow, but also no secret that Henry was two years older than his pack of goons, having been held back for two years due to not being able to graduate. “Just fuck off.”

“This is none of your business, Kaspbrak. Just because your dad is the chief of police doesn’t mean I won’t beat your ass.” Henry growled, dropping the book and storming over to Eddie, glaring down at him.

Eddie had to hold back the urge to laugh. Even though he was on the smaller scale height wise, he made up for it with his self defense ability and his unexpected strength. He was also super fast, which was why he was the best track member on the team. “I think you’re confused about me beating your ass Bowers, do you really want a repeat of Halloween Sophomore year?”

Behind them, Victor snorted and Eddie let himself smirk. It was clear that no-one had forgotten about the time Eddie broke Henry’s nose for mouthing off his dad in Sophomore year. Good, he didn’t want anyone to forget that he wasn’t scared of the resident bully. Unfortunately, Henry didn’t seem to share the all round amusement, and raised his fist, swinging it in for a punch, which Eddie dodged with ease. His height did come in handy sometimes. 

“You fucking faggot!” Henry snapped, turning and lunging for Eddie, sending them both barreling backwards onto the tile floor. With the wind knocked out of him, Eddie lost his bearings for a moment, long enough for Henry to get a punch in, but not long enough for anything else. Quickly, Eddie rolled out of the way and as Henry made another move, Eddie raised his knee, hitting Bower’s straight in the groin. The bully fell to the floor, groaning and Eddie got to his feet, brushing himself off.

“Next time pick on someone your own size,” Eddie snapped, reaching down to pick up RIchie’s discarded project book, handing it back to him with a smile. “Here. Sorry about them, they are assholes.”

Richie snatched the book from him, holding it close and pushing his glasses back up his face. “I had it under control, you didn’t need to step in like some hero.” He rolled his eyes. “You just made things so much worse, they’re going to actively seek me out now because of you.”

“Richie I was just- I just wanted to help…” Eddie stammered, losing his confidence just a little. It was always the same when he was around Richie, ever since they were fifteen. Even though they weren’t as close, or even friends at all, it didn’t just mean that the feelings Eddie felt for him would disappear like magic. They were still there, sitting under the surface with every accidental eye-lock or brush of shoulders in the hallways. 

“I didn’t need your help!” Richie snapped and was just about to walk away when a teacher rounded the corner. Bowers was still on the ground, clutching his groin like a five year old and his cronies were nowhere to be seen. Eddie looked up, hoping it would be his Coach, or another teacher that he got on well with, but it seemed that his luck had run out. It was Mr Black, the strict and intolerable English Teacher who seemed to have it out for every student at Derry High. 

He stormed over to the three of them, his arms crossed and eyes dark. “What is going on here? As Seniors, you should all be aware of the ‘No Fighting’ rule. Especially in the hallways.” Mr Black’s voice was cold and harsh, but Eddie still attempted to explain. “I don’t want to hear it. All three of you, detention after school.” With that, he walked off, muttering under his breath.

“See what you did?” Richie groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Detention! I’ve never had detention before in my life!” He shook his head and without another word, disappeared down the hall, leaving Eddie alone by the lockers. 

For the rest of the day, Eddie wondered how he was going to get through the hour of after school detention with Bowers and Richie, both who were not on his side at that moment. Before lunch period ended, Eddie sent a quick message to his dad, explaining what had gone on and why he would be home late. Of course, he was disappointed that Eddie had gotten into a fight, but proud that he was standing up for himself and his friends. 

Never let anyone push you around. They hit you? Hit them back.

When the final bell of the day rang, Eddie packed up his bag and made his way to Mr Black’s classroom. When he arrived, Richie was already there, head down and scribbling in a book and Henry was nowhere to be seen. “Take a seat Mr Kaspbrak. It will just be you and Mr Tozier this afternoon, as Mr Bowers is serving his detention with another teacher.” Mr Black grunted before making his way to the door. “I have a teacher meeting, but you both better still be here when I get back or there will be more time added and I know you both don’t want that.”

As soon as Mr Black was gone, Eddie slumped into a seat and pulled out a few of his books. He might as well get some studying in, since he couldn’t practice in detention. However, the need to talk to Richie, to finally get some answers was eating away at him and becoming unbearable to ignore. He slammed his book closed and out of the corner of his eye, Richie jumped a little.

“Richie, please can we talk like adults? I can’t take this anymore!” Eddie made his way over to Richie and pulled up a chair so the was facing him on the other side of the desk. “You can’t run away from me here, and Mr Black won’t be back until four so we have time to talk. Please? I just want to talk.”

Richie looked at Eddie, his eyes wide behind his glasses, “What is there to talk about Eddie? You’re you and I’m me. That’s all there is to it. Just because our dads are friends, doesn’t mean we need to be too.”

That took Eddie by surprise and he blinked a few times, “Richie- what are you talking about? You don’t really think I only want to be friends with you because our dads are friends do you? Even if our dads weren’t friends, I’d still want to be friends with you. You’re pretty amazing.” As those words left his lips, a blush rose up on Eddie’s cheeks and he bit his lip. “I mean, you’re cool and all.”

“But- you’re a jock and I’m a nerd. You shouldn’t want to be my friend. That’s not how High School works,” Richie shook his head and Eddie barked out a laugh. He had clearly been watching too many teen romantic comedies in his spare time. “Why are you laughing? What’s so funny?”

Eddie smiled, a smile that was reserved only for the people in his life that he really cared about and trusted. “You are. Richie- since when have I ever cared about the social norms of High School? I’m not on the track team because I want to be popular and have lots of friends. I'm on the track team because I like to run. I enjoy the sport. I also know that you aren’t a ‘nerd’ by choice, you are just exceptionally smart and absolutely brilliant!” He shook his head again. “Is that why you stopped talking to me? Because you thought it would bring my popularity status down?”

Now it was Richie’s time to flush and he let out a groan, “I’m an idiot aren’t I?” He asked and Eddie nodded his head just a little. “Though...that wasn’t the only reason I was ignoring you and cut you off back in freshman year.” Richie was looking away at this point, which only stemmed Eddie’s curiosity. 

“What?”

“I- may or may not have had a little crush on you when I was younger, and I didn’t want it to ruin anything if I told you. It became harder to be around you though because those feelings never really...went away?” Richie explained and Eddie’s jaw dropped open a little. “Have I said too much?”

Eddie shook his head faster, “No- fuck...no. Richie...the reason why I never stopped trying to be your friend for so long was because I felt the same and I didn’t want you to not be in my life, even if it was just as a friend.” He was grinning now, from ear to ear and he reached out to cover a hand over Richie’s. 

“Holy shit,” Richie laughed. “We really are a pair of angsty teenage idiots, aren’t we?” He asked and Eddie nodded, his own laugh bubbling past his lips. “What- what happens now?”

At that, Eddie ginned, “Well, if you don’t mind. I would love to take you out on a date. If that’s something you would like to do? With me?” God, Eddie was bad at this.