pooped out one more print before LPS palooza this weekend!! Will be available on my sh*p next week!

i wish i had an easy no-scope solution for you but i fully expect to be struggling with this same problem for the rest of my life. the artists who appear to be able to just churn shit out consistently for years on end are, in my experience, people who've developed a rigorous set of habits and built a lifestyle around their work, or are genetic freaks who've somehow hacked their own adhd into a superpower, or otherwise just don't really have much self-consciousness about the quality of their own work. they are few and far between, and even fewer are those who can maintain that pace indefinitely, but that doesn't stop the rest of the world from holding them up as the examples we should be aspiring towards. needless to say, i don't think that's particularly helpful.

there ARE lessons to be learned from them, to be clear. we tend to get up in our heads about making art because it's often an emotional process, but the reality is that the work part of the work is just that: work. nobody who clocks in at an office job is excited to be there every day, or even any day. sometimes making art is tedious and annoying and you just have to buckle in and do it anyway. a lot of it really is just habits, practice, and projecting a level of confidence that you probably lack. most people's bar of quality for your work is a lot lower than yours, and mistakes that seem obvious to you just plain are not that obvious. we always underestimate our own skills precisely because they're our skills, we acquired them haphazardly and only barely have a grip on how to use them so naturally take them for granted. YOU know how much you don't know, and so that's what you see in your own work. but other people mostly only see what you do know. and your sloppy half-finished sketch may look like magic to another's eyes. and ultimately there's always gonna be haters, you can't please everyone so don't even try, just fucking make the thing and release it. something that exists is better than something that doesn't exist.

yadda yadda yadda we've heard it all before. i know all this stuff intellectually, but it's so much easier to say than it is to practice. obviously we can learn from the crazy success stories, but it's just as important to recognize that you are not and can never be anybody else except yourself. advice that works for someone else might not work for you. the workflow and habit regime of a frighteningly prolific writer might very easily make your output worse. so, really, it's all about knowing yourself. i think probably you asked ME this question because you see me as someone who IS able to sit down and get the work done, and maybe you're even surprised it took me three paragraphs to get to my own process. the thing is, i don't think any artist makes everything they want to make. we're all carrying around a graveyard of unfinished, never-finished projects, and that's just how it is. i don't know that i've ever met an artist who's fully satisfied in that way.

i'm a very feast-or-famine writer. my partner often gets mad at me (lovingly) when i tell her that i wrote 3000 words in a day when she struggled to hit 500, but i always have to remind her that she writes about that much most days of the week, whereas i churn out a TON of material in a couple days and then might not write anything else for weeks if not months. it frustrates me to no end that this is the case, i've tried so many times to build better daily writing habits but it never stick. i do think i'm not doing as much as i could be, but at the end of the day i've always been this way and i will probably always be this way. trying to force myself to work in a different mode usually just makes me feel guilty, pressured, sad, overwhelmed, paralyzed. i'm just not good at it, and without an institutional setting where i've got the support of an editor and other writers i simply don't see myself getting good at it any time soon. so i try to give myself a bit of grace and work with my eccentricities rather than against them.

i will say my insecurities have a lot less sway over me these days now that i've got so much godfeels under my belt, and there are so many people who've read it and shared their opinions. i used to worry a lot about if i could call myself "a real writer", which is absolute bullshit, but i don't worry about that much at all anymore. i have a baseline level of confidence in my writing and process that enables me to not second guess myself as much. but i understand that is almost exclusively psychological, and is an attitude i could have shed a lot sooner if i really wanted to. particularly i have the confidence to recognize when i'm having off day and get some writing done anyway, because i know my first draft doesn't need to be good or even remotely resemble the finished work. sometimes i just need a skeleton to riff off of, and maybe even getting it down in a rough and annoyed fashion is better. it's like, there's a level of scaffolding and structure to writing that is a bit like doing math, and sometimes you do yourself a favor by getting the math out of the way when you're not entirely feeling it so you can hit the ground running artistically when you ARE feeling it. in the spirit of "something is better than nothing," even sloppy chickenscratch bullet point outlines and tiny illegible thumbnails count as work. it's all about knowing what you can get when you can get it, and accepting that some days you're just not gonna get much at all.

In the first GIF, he smiles with his hands clasped together as the caption reads, “Millions of you watched me as Eric in ‘Sex Education’...”

In the second GIF, he grins and clasped hands while the caption reads, “And maybe 12 of you watched me in ‘Doctor Who’...”

In the third GIF, he shrugs with both hands thrown outward as the caption reads, “Hey, maybe that’s why I kept crying.”

In the fourth GIF, the caption reads, “And even though I have since regenerated into Billie Piper...”

In the fifth GIF, the camera cuts closer to his face as he gives a baffled sideways look. The caption reads, “I don’t understand it either.”

Gullah & Early AAVE

Gumbo – From Bantu kingombo (okra), brought by enslaved Africans and became the name of the Creole stew thickened with okra.

Goober – From Kikongo nguba, the Bantu word for peanut that entered American English via enslaved Africans.

Yam – From West African languages (e.g., Wolof nyami, "to eat"), brought over during the slave trade and adopted into Southern cuisine.

Banjo – From a Bantu root (mbanza), the instrument was crafted by enslaved Africans based on West African string instruments.

Bogus – Likely from Hausa boko-boko (deceitful, fraudulent), entering American English through African American speech in the 19th century.

Juke (box/joint) – From Gullah juke (rowdy, disorderly), derived from Wolof dzug (to live wickedly), later attached to roadside bars.

Tote (to carry) – From West African languages (e.g., Kikongo tota, "to pick up"), recorded in Gullah before spreading to mainstream English.

Dig (to understand) – From Wolof degg (to understand), popularized by jazz musicians in the 1930s after entering English through AAVE.

Jazz – Possibly from West African or Creole slang for energy/sex, first documented in AAVE in Chicago around 1912.

Okay (OK) – Though its origin is debated, strong evidence traces it to West African languages (e.g., Wolof waw kay) via enslaved Gullah speakers.

Hip/Hep – From Wolof hipi (to open one's eyes, to be aware), entering jazz slang in the early 1900s before going mainstream.

Hepcat – A compound of "hep" + "cat" (jazz slang for a person), literally meaning "one who has his eyes open" in West African-influenced jazz culture.

Jazz, Blues & 1940s–60s Era

Cool (as in fashionable/calm) – Originated in jazz circles, likely from saxophonist Lester Young, and entered mainstream via West African aesthetic concepts of composure.

Cat – A jazz-era term for a skilled musician or cool person, derived from West African-influenced jive talk.

Crib – Jazz slang for a house or apartment, popularized in the 1940s before becoming mainstream in the 1990s.

Hokum – AAVE slang for nonsense or BS, used in blues and jazz before being adopted more widely.

Diss – Short for "disrespect," coined in AAVE and popularized through hip-hop in the 1980s and 1990s.

Bad (meaning good) – From AAVE, where inversion of meaning creates emphasis (something so "bad" it's actually good), used since early jazz era.

Jive – AAVE slang for deceptive talk or a style of jazz dancing, used by Cab Calloway in his 1930s Hepster Dictionary.

1970s–90s (Hip-Hop & Pre-Internet Era)

Homeboy/Homegirl – AAVE for a close friend from one's neighborhood, popularized in hip-hop and later shortened to "homes" in casual speech.

Dope (meaning great) – Shifted from "stupid" in standard English to "excellent" in AAVE during the 1980s hip-hop era.

Props – Short for "proper respects" in AAVE, used in hip-hop to acknowledge skill or achievement before entering mainstream slang.

Word (as in "I agree") – AAVE interjection ("Word!" or "Word is bond") meaning "I'm telling the truth," derived from Nation of Islam teachings.

Phat (meaning cool/great) – AAVE acronym believed to stand for "Pretty Hot And Tempting," though likely an invented backronym; popularized in 90s hip-hop.

The Bomb – AAVE phrase for something excellent or top-quality, widely used in hip-hop lyrics before mainstream adoption.

Def – AAVE slang for "excellent," popularized by Run-DMC's "King of Rock" and 80s hip-hop culture.

Fresh – AAVE for stylish or excellent, used in early hip-hop and 80s pop culture before spreading globally.

Wack – AAVE for "bad, inferior, uncool," popularized in hip-hop and later mainstream youth speech as the opposite of "cool."

Hella – AAVE intensifier meaning "very" or "a lot of," originating in Oakland/Bay Area AAVE in the 1970s-80s.

Cap / No Cap – AAVE meaning "lie" and "no lie," popularized by Bay Area rap in the 2010s, derived from "capping" (exaggerating).

1990s–2000s (Internet Adoption & Ballroom Culture)

Slay – From AAVE and Black ballroom culture (Paris is Burning, 1990), meaning to do something extremely well, now mainstream via social media.

Spill the Tea – From AAVE (originally "spill the T," with "T" meaning truth), popularized by drag culture and Black queer communities.

Shade (as in insult) – From Black ballroom culture (documented in Paris is Burning), meaning a subtle insult, now used broadly in pop culture.

Reading (as in insulting) – From ballroom culture ("reading" someone), meaning to publicly insult with wit, immortalized in Paris is Burning.

Kiki – AAVE from ballroom culture meaning a casual gathering for gossip or chatting, later mainstreamed through pop music (e.g., Kesha).

Fierce – AAVE and ballroom term meaning exceptionally good or intense, applied to fashion, performance, or attitude.

Woke – From AAVE meaning socially and politically aware, first used in 1940s Black activism before resurging with Black Lives Matter.

Shook – AAVE meaning startled or upset, used in 1990s New York hip-hop (e.g., Mobb Deep) before mainstream adoption in the 2010s.

On Fleek – AAVE phrase meaning perfectly executed, coined in a 2014 Vine by Peaches Monroee, one of the last pre-AI viral AAVE innovations.

Finna – From AAVE contraction of "fixing to" (preparing to), documented in Southern AAVE for decades before wider use and dictionary recognition.

Chile – A phonetic spelling of "child" in Southern AAVE, used as a term of endearment or exclamation since at least the 1970s (The Wiz, 1978).

2010s–Present (Social Media & Gen Z Slang Pipeline)

Lit – AAVE meaning exciting or excellent (originally "intoxicated" or "on fire"), popularized in hip-hop before becoming a Gen Z staple.

Bae – AAVE term of endearment meaning "before anyone else" or just a shortened form of "babe/baby," mainstreamed in the 2010s.

Ratchet – AAVE originally meaning a rowdy, aggressive woman (from "wretched"), later used to describe anything wild or out of control.

Turnt – AAVE meaning excited or intoxicated, from "turned up" in hip-hop lyrics, mainstreamed in early 2010s party slang.

Clap Back – AAVE for a sharp, witty comeback or retaliation, popularized in hip-hop (e.g., Ja Rule's 2003 song "Clap Back") before internet slang.

Bussin' – AAVE meaning delicious or excellent, applied to food or anything great, popularized on TikTok in the 2020s.

Sus – AAVE shortening of "suspicious" or "shady," used for decades before Among Us made it a global meme in 2020.

Snatched – AAVE originally describing flawless hair/makeup or a tight waist, now used to praise anything perfectly executed.

Periodt – AAVE emphatic form of "period" (meaning "end of discussion"), with a hard "t" for emphasis, popularized on Black Twitter before global use.

edit THANKS @smellslikebot

THE LONG-AWAITED WEBSITE!!!!

It's not perfect- Strawpage's design tools are... not great- but I did my best to bring you all a Tumblr-free transcription of all my lessons. This is probably the most labor-intensive thing I've done for this page (next to the character polls). Four months of blood, sweat, and tears... and now, she LIVES!!!!

Some Notes:

I created it with the intent of Desktop use, so Mobile might have some issues. If it's not working on your phone, try desktop.

Out of the multiple browsers tested (Firefox, Google, Edge, Brave, Safari), Firefox had some issues sporadically.

I'm still going to post lessons on here, first. This page is priority to me, and the website is more of an archive.

The fonts are normal past this opening page.

I will be adding a portion to send funds soon, if'n you are feeling kind and generous.