Life Happens.

me:

So I was conned into running some 5K bullshit this weekend, and for the past three weeks I’ve been forced to simulate the horror my burrito-stuffed body will experience tomorrow by heaving and sobbing my way through downtown Toronto in front of loads of people. I’m not running anywhere in particular. I don’t have a destination, or an end goal, just a general direction in which I’m supposed to keep moving until I’ve gone far enough to earn a rest from the aimless horror that is running. 

Let me tell you why running is such bullshit.

Running is primarily a survival trait. Early humans developed the ability to run so we could escape predators. Evolution didn’t keep it around so we could go for morning jogs. It was necessarily to keep us alive. 

Running is what you do when you’ve utterly failed to budget your time properly. It is a last ditch mode of urgent transportation. And if you’re running to get somewhere quickly, it usually means you’ve fucked up along the way.

Running is what you do while you’re playing an activity, because it helps you achieve your goal more efficiently. The activity itself is what’s really enjoyable. Running is a sport the same way swinging a badminton racket at nothing is a sport.  

Harry Potter-Themed Shooters

These drinks are not for beginners. By that I mean only experienced Harry Potter fans will appreciate the puns that went into making them. Full disclosure, a couple of them are awful. I’ll let you figure out which ones. Better yet, serve them to your friends and let them decide!