want another shot?

“that’s a nice dress.”

“this airline has an excellent arrival-departure record.”

“you came up alongside me, you know, with your jacket and your face and charm, and you just, you know, talked to me for a strategic amount of time, established your position, and then just casually, blatantly stepped in front of me.”

“oh my g- you just did it again!”

“you are part and parcel of a world that no longer has any idea how to behave itself.”

“do you have a special need?”

“i need to be … over there.”

“this one does not appear to have a working notch.”

“if i see you at a restaurant, i’ll go to another restaurant.”

“oh, you’re even worse than he said.”

“don’t do that, don’t dangle an injurious tidbit and then snatch it away.”

“well, i needed to lash out.”

“see, this only works if one of you actually is a big person.”

“‘closed’ is not the same thing as closure.”

“i can’t remember dreaming.”

“i don’t wanna be a person you don’t know where to stick.”

“she’s a tall glass of hemlock.”

“how can we be allowed to feel so much for people who don’t feel anything for us?”

“well, this person shot me, so …”

“he said i was the embodiment of all his bad choices.”

“dad jumped out of a seventh-floor window and mom considered them all square.”

“i’m all fucked up and i always will be.”

“you don’t stop loving a person just because they injure you.”

“love has nothing to do with like.”

“i want him to have a long life, during which he is miserable every single day before slowly dying of regret.”

“don’t you believe there’s someone for everyone?”

“i believe there’s nobody for anyone.”

“this is the slowest i have ever been carried.”

“i used to love this song.”

“i never said i wasn’t a tone-deaf narcissist.”

“well, I’m sorry if my brand of pain is out of vogue, but it’s all i got.”

“how about if we both run and nobody stays and fights?”

“don’t tell me you’re secretly noble.”

“god, do you even know how long it’s been since i’ve been touched with affection by another human being?”

“sometimes, i feel the absence of pain, which at this point feels like pleasure, or at least pleasure’s little cousin.”

“no, not “no.” i’m just a very negative person. i’m expressing incredulity!”

“i want all the drinks poured directly down my gullet.”

“i’ve always wondered why they give you two glasses even when you’re traveling alone.”

“i’m not wearing anything under my pajamas.”

“we want to believe that there’s some high-minded, cosmic meaning behind love, but the truth is we’re drawn to, and make most of our decisions based upon, shapes we find appealing, and colors and textures and smells and tastes and spatial relations.”

“because being, as bad as it is, is better than not being.”

“i’m just evaluating your qualifications as an ongoing love interest.”

“because connection is precious, therefore, it is immoral to just treat each other like dalliances, even if that’s what we wind up being.”

“you might want to shake out the pringle fragments.”

“how about if i keep my mind open to the possibility of keeping my mind open to the possibility of keeping my mind open?”

“i didn’t want it to end on a bad note. also, you’re in the next room. it would have been spectacularly awkward.”

“but at some point there’s just not enough optimism left inside a person to sustain something like this, you know?”

“well, i’m going to shove some tissues up my nostrils and take a shower.”

“on the off, off chance that i ever have a wedding, i would never make anyone travel to it.”

“i was so enjoying the silence.”

“try as i might, i cannot get behind wine in screw-top bottles.”

“what if we’re falling in love?”

“you don’t find it miraculous that two people like us forged any kind of bond?”

“okay, but deep down, in your broken, miserable gut, don’t you want something that’s pure and in its own grotesque way, beautiful?”

“i’m laughing out of affection.”

“we shouldn’t exchange contact information.”

“why didn’t we meet seven years ago?”

“there are other people in the world.”

“i hope our flight’s on time.”

“and now you’re casting me as the author of a byzantine conspiracy theory of a machiavellian land grab designed to usurp your position on an aircraft that has eight seats.”