Lancregirl

I’ll edit and reblog this with updates as I post new bits of the Cinderella story I’m working on, but for now, here are all the current chapters out:

Part One (In Which Things Would Be Simpler If The Prince Was A Horny Piece of Shit)

Part Two (In Which No Rats Were Harmed In The Making Of These Horses)

Part Three (The OG post which technically is kind of told out of order because there’s a reblog and like, look, I could see this was becoming a thing, but I didn’t think it would be a thing-thing but now it’s a thing-thing and I have to deal with it. I mean I’m writing a masterpost for cryin’ out loud)

Part Four (In Which Cindy and the Fairy Godmother Run from the Cops)

Part Five (In Which The Prince Begins His Investigation While The Narrator yells About Foot Fetishes Because look I’m sick of that joke I’m SO FUCKING SICK of that joke it’s so fucking unoriginal.)

Part Six  (In which we meet The Queen because fuck you she was alive in the Rogers and Hammerstein version)

Part Seven (In which news of the slipper is spread throughout the kingdom and the narrator talks about this one time when they passed out at a Dickens fair and that’s totally definitely relevant.)

Part Eight (In Which the narrator wants to include more slapstick but is also wary about all the implications with regards to class differences and also the slipper is a non-euclidean object which defies all rules of mass and physics.)

Part Nine (In which Cindy is every drunk girl who has ever comforted you in a bar or club bathroom)

Part Ten (In which Cindy has no interest in being that wife chained up in the attic in Jane Eyre)

Part Eleven (In which tasty pies are consumed and also maybe the slipper fits someone or whatever)

Part Twelve (In which we meet the parents)

Part Thirteen (In which Cindy is going to be okay but also it’s not a fairy tale unless the ending has at least a little bit of threatening ambiguity towards the audience)

UPDATE: The story is now complete, and uploaded to AO3!!

UPDATE: There have been several specially requested chapters that are now included here:

Smoky Tea: An expansion on the first meeting of the King and Queen.

Ball’s In Your Court: Further notes on the King and Queen’s romance

Orphan Tears: A Fairy Godmother-centric paralogue.