hold still, it'll come to you.

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

Wait, so you’re telling me today’s the 4th? What’s next, the 5th? The minor fall? The major lift?

no one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying)

*seductively* doomed by the narrative all by yourself, handsome?

*reveals traits that foil yours* Not for long.