Love going to therapy only to come out worse on the other side. Trying desperately to get the depressed and anxious parts of my brain to shut the fuck up so I can go over what we said logically, but unfortunately for me all I'm getting is "well logically he was saying that you're weird, unpleasant, and desperate and people can sense that so that's why they don't want to be friends with you, and also maybe you just aren't the kind of person who's supposed to have friends and you should just get used to being the person your anxiety wants you to be. Which is to say alone." When what he really probably said is "It sounds like you're trying really hard to make friends the way outgoing boisterous people make friends, which just might not be a good fit for you or the kind of people you want to be friends with. You might need to take some time to learn how you're most comfortable in social situations and how you'd like to interact with people before jumping straight in to trying to brute force friendships." Which honestly still sucks because I'd like to feel less like I'm completely alone in a room full of people I'm (hopefully supposed to be?) friends with sooner rather than later.
