Jamie Bowen

Shopping with Jamie was fun. Vale had never been much of a shopper, but he thought he might enjoy it more if he did it with a friend. "I wonder what it's like, looking like him," Vale said as they moved away from the deli counter, though he glanced back at the man, admiring the view one last time. "I mean, I wonder if people are just constantly throwing themselves at him, you know?" They moved through the aisles quickly, not that Vale was in a hurry because once their shopping was done, that might be the end of this fever dream of an encounter. Vale had gone from nearly breaking his own car window to shopping with a cute boy while checking out other cute boys. The day had certainly taken a turn for the better.

Vale couldn't help it: he started laughing at Jamie's comment. "I'm definitely not a rancher," he responded. "I live and work on my brother's ranch, but I'm..." Vale trailed off, trying to think of how he wanted to word this. "I'm...sort of a fish out of water there. My parents thought it was best I leave Seattle for awhile, and I didn't really have anywhere else to go." Vale didn't present this like some sob story - he didn't want or need any sympathy. It was just a statement of fact. "My brother is more of what you'd expect a rancher to be like," he went on. "Maybe I should get a cowboy hat. Do you think I could pull it off?" As he took the basket, Vale laughed, smiling at Jamie. "I only do this for the really cute guys, just so you know," he teased.

There was something about the way Jamie answered Vale's question that felt...well not dishonest, but like he was leaving parts out. But that was fine - Jamie didn't owe him anything, and Vale had left some of his own backstory out too. "So are you happy here now?" Vale asked Jamie. "Or are you still looking for your place? I can relate to that." Vale liked Cardinal Hill, but it didn't really feel like he belonged - here or anywhere else for that matter. "I'm good," he answered, "though I want some Nerds while we're here. Those are probably at the counter, right?"

Jamie smiled when they moved past the topic of Vale's accident. Maybe it was something that would come up again later, but for now, he was having a good time just walking around and piling things into a shopping basket.

"I bet people do throw themselves at that guy, but you also have to wonder if he's intelligent enough to know when people are lusting after him, or if they're just being nice," he chuckled. It was a hard distinction to make, even for himself. "Or alternatively, he's a huge asshole about it and thinks he's the hottest shit to ever grace planet Earth. It's a fifty fifty, I think. You gotta be careful around that kind of guy," he said jokingly, chuckling as they continued. Hearing Vale talk about his work at the ranch made him feel a little sympathetic. Maybe ranching wasn't Vale's dream job, but he seemed to be making the most out of it, judging by the way he talked and the way he joked about getting a cowboy hat. "I dunno, you could probably pull off anything," Jamie teased with a little smirk. "Who's your brother anyway? Maybe I know him," he asked. Or maybe he didn't, but Jamie was nosy anyway. "Glad you were able to pick yourself up, though. When you were kicked out anyway. That's never easy."

At Vale's question, Jamie pursed his lips slightly. "Happy? I don't know. Maybe? Content, I guess? Good enough for now, is how I feel. I don't know if there's a 'place' for me, necessarily. It's whatever I make it. I've got a roof over my head, and enough money to get stoned on the weekend. That's good enough," he shrugged. To be truthful, he wasn't happy at all. But it was leagues better than being anxious and scared at every turn. Better than living out of his car without a job or without anyone to turn to. But he didn't say any of that. "Nerds are at the counter, yeah. Good idea," he said, going to the check out line and grabbing some boxes for the two of them. One he was done checking out, he began to head out. "Mind driving me home?" he asked, now that his big chore for the day was done.

Jamie opening up so much made Sabine feel awful about the simple lie that she threw out about her ex. The same lie she told everyone whenever she was forced to talk about her, but a lie nonetheless. With every word he said, she knew more and more that she had to recity that mistake, but she wanted to make sure she did it at the right time, so she listened with to his words intently. Probably the most shes focused on one thing in a very long time.

The reminder of Sabine's error in how she treated Jamie made her wince on the inside, her jaw tensing, a pause in her elbow as she raised and lowered her cigarette. "I always thought your dad was an asshole." She said with no real intention, her words' only purpose being to catch onto the wind and drift away with the smoke. Sabine turned from the horizon to face Jamie, a remarkably difficult challenge for her, as he continued. She could see the discomfort on his face, hear the stiffness in his voice. She saw every aspect of his memories' effect, every twitch, shake, the bounce in the knee, she could even feel the pit in his stomach. "Fuck..." It was the only word she could find in response to his rememberance. "What'd you, like, do?" Sabine wasn't really one for subtly, if she had a question she would usually ask it. It made for a pretty interesting time at rehab though.

Sabine let out a deep breath, she knew she had to be honest with Jamie, it was the least she could do. Not that she wanted to. It was the least that she had to do. "Shit," She said, looking at the ground and kicking a rock away, building up the courage to let out her own story. "Alright fine. I didn't leave Priscilla, she left me." Similarly to Jamie, her knee started to bounce, like some cool breeze from Jamie's direction had finally reached her, causing the shiver to go down her spine. Sabine did not like rehashing this. "She got me pretty into, well, coke, smack, just about fucking anything you can name." Sabine lifted her hand up to have another drag, but looking at the smoke in her hand, it was remarkably short for how long they had been out there. It must have barely been outside her mouth, but it didn't stop her from inhaling again, even if it was a dying light. "She handled pretty much everything in my life, just got me to make art. Got me some exhibits and shit, nothing crazy. After a couple years though, she organised something pretty big, set off my career type shit, you know?" Sabine took another inhale, right down to the filter and then some, before exhaling and flicking the end out into the dark void infront of the two. "Well at that point I was high twenty-four seven, pretty fucking paranoid too. Priscilla said some shit about everyone being there for me, thought she meant everyone was there to kill me, ended up sucker punching some poor guy." Sabine bit her lip, she spoke so nonchalantly but it was obvious that it serious affected her, even as she talked about it. "After the exhibit, I couldn't find Priscilla anywhere. She left, and that's when it started to go downhill." Sabine chuckled, "I guess it was already pretty far down the hill. Anyway, I don't really remember what happened after that. That's not an out either, like, I really don't remember, at least up until I went into rehab. Something like three years, gone, like that." She finished, before reaching over to Jamie and stealing his cigarette straight from his hand.

Jamie smirked at Sabine's comment on the owners of the hardware store. It felt like such a her thing to say, even after all this time. It felt like something so normal to hold on to with everything else that had happened between them individually and apart. He felt the anxiety of the conversation take a hold of him. He'd never admitted out loud to anyone what he'd done. Not even to himself. He feared what could happen if he told another soul, what would become of him. Jamie's hand shook a little as he brought the cigarette back up to his lips to take another drag, thinking about how he wanted to answer that question.

Before he answered, he was surprised to hear Sabine's confession. His shaking eased, and his knee grew a little more still as hers began to bounce now. The pit in his stomach still weighed, but it gave him a reprieve from his own feelings to focus on her admission. They were passing the anxiety between them like a joint, taking turns as they revealed the awful, ugly truths about what their lives had become.

All he could do was listen as she revealed her struggles with drugs and someone that created a dependency problem. He listened to the story and saw the look on her face as she revealed the truth. He willingly handed the cigarette over when she reached for it, and he pulled a fresh one out of the pack to light it. Jamie wasn't a chain smoker by any means, but tonight called for it. "I'm sorry that happened... I wish I could've been there," he said, barely above a whisper. Three years was a lot of time to lose. Too much. "Has she... ever reached out to you? You ever tried looking for her?" he asked, wondering if Sabine still wanted Priscilla in her life. "Sounds like she created a perfect storm for you to spiral like that," he murmured.

He looked down at the ground between them, trying to find the words to answer the question she's asked earlier. There was no good way to say it, no way to ease the heaviness of what he'd been carrying by himself all these years.

"I killed someone. Two people," he whispered quietly, masking the tremble in his voice as he said it.

"Yeah, I'm absolutely sure. I mean - there's no pressure, and no rush, just an open ended invitation if you're ever willing and got the time." Floyd worried that he was trying too hard to be casual in the offer, but he didn't want to come on too strongly; rejection hurt so much more when Floyd was vulnerable enough to express how excited he was for prospective plans. It wasn't that Floyd was expecting to be met with rejection, but he'd been hurt in so many different ways in the past, and so nowadays, Floyd always tried to be more careful. "I'm definitely not a vegetarian, and I love making meatballs," he grinned, feeling so much warmth over the fact that Jamie seemed interested.

"Oh trust me, I definitely know how lucky I am." Floyd remained so close to his family because he knew well enough to know that it was a real privilege to have them. While he'd never experienced loss so close to him like those who had lost immediate family members, loss had effected his life closely enough for him to be reminded to hold his family near and dear. There were a myriad of other reasons why Floyd considered himself lucky to have his family, but that one had always hit the hardest. "And you might be right. I've just never tried it, not really. Maybe I should." He nodded.

Most of the time, Jamie was invited over for ulterior motives. Part of him wondered if maybe he and Floyd would abandon the idea of making spaghetti and meatballs if he came over, and end up making out on the couch instead, which wouldn't be the worst thing ever... but he also felt like the invitation was very genuine. It made him smile with warmth that didn't often come to Jamie when meeting people like this. Not that he wouldn't have minded kissing Floyd, of course. But it was nice to be invited to something so wholesome for once in his life.

He was surprised that Floyd knew anything about cars. Mostly because everyone he ever met knew nothing about cars, like mechanics practiced some sort of magic to get cars patched up. "Hey, if you can at least help me figure out what the hell's the matter, I know what to ask for so I don't get ripped off," he chuckled.

Jamie grinned when Clover said he kept a smiley pig ice pack. That was cute. Definitely cuter than an expired bag of peas kept for that express purpose. When Clover admitted to buying smokes as a ruse to talk to the 'attractive cashier', Jamie grinned. "Yeah? I'll make sure to ID you and grill you about it next time so we have something to really talk about," he teased with a little laugh. Jamie certainly wasn't shy. "C'mon, lets get outta here before whoever's after you gets wise. I was gonna go to the skate park."

Nibs waved off the boy, giving him a 'pfft' while mulling over his next abomination creation. "Don't knock it 'til you try it," he insisted. Not that his standards were all that high, enjoying some of the most processed of foods over those of quality. He'd become known over the years for his love of Kraft Dinner and considered that one of the highest forms of feasting. That being said the mention of an entirely different meal had piqued his curiosity, poking his head out over the shelving back to where Jamie stood. "Wait a second, you might be fuckin' onto something." Nibs grabbed two bags of Ruffles while he was in the chips aisle and held them up to signal that they'd be airborne momentarily. "You see, I'm a bit of a snack connoisseur. I've got many years of experience and a passion for finding the finest shit around." That didn't just go for food either, having dabbled in the dealings of illegal substances with the same mindset. "We've got the snack jackpot at our fingertips, it'd be a crime to not take advantage of it."

"I'm definitely knocking it, but if you get me some weed, I might try it," he mused. Jamie wasn't too difficult to convince if one was equipped with the right tools to persuade him, after all.

he had to laugh, though. For all of his weirdness, Nibs was really cute and funny. Not that Jamie would admit to it out loud. The last thing he wanted was to give his co-worker a big head about it. "Alright, Julia Child. Blow my mind with your next creation," he said, stepping forward and holding his hands out expectantly to catch the bags. Okay, maybe he was bored enough to give himself a stomach ache with whatever it was that Nibs concocted for them tonight. If nothing else, it would fill their time and make the night go by faster, right?

"What if you chop up a slim jim and put it in the nachos? I mean I feel like it'd make sense to add that to your snackpot," he mused.

Jamie didn't shy away from taking the reins and letting Cubs lean back and enjoy him. He didn't fuck around with too much preamble before getting right to what it was that he wanted to do. Sure, he could spend more time making out with Cubs and having more foreplay, but they didn't really need that. This was just taking care of one of the basest needs of their nature. Jamie had no illusions to the contrary, and staked no claim on Cubs. Just as Cubs staked no claim on him.

He felt Cubs's hand in his hair, and his big blue eyes flicked up to meet the other's as Jamie slipped and slid his tongue along the underside of Cubs's cock. He dipped his head a little, angling his mouth down to pull him in slowly and half lidding his eyes. Then he really put that pretty mouth to work.

Lucky shook his head, a look of great amusement on his face. Boy did he have some stories about the design choices he'd seen around town; there were some seriously bizarre people in Cardinal Hill, that was for sure, and for some reason they loved to reflect that in their homes. "You have no idea. Some houses when I go in for an initial look I fear for my life, like, no one sane or safe to be around would make those choices," he laughed, only slightly exaggerating. "Shag carpet in the bathroom should be criminalised, that really doesn't rock, that's so fucking bad," he swore, shaking his head once more in disbelief.

"Yeah I think shag anything only worked for Jayne Mansfield and like nobody else," Jamie mused, shaking his head. "Literally that guy whose house I went to was the biggest creep I probably ever met, and I got outta there as fast as I could when I realized," he laughed.

He wondered how different his life would've been if his parents had been more supportive of him. He wondered if he'd be running his family's restaurant, or if he'd be in school on his journey to become a doctor or even an astronaut. But life didn't pan out that way, and here he was at the bottom of the barrel, working the graveyard shift at the gas station with dreams that amounted to ashes in a tray and seeking attention in all the wrong places.

"I've gone bowling before but I'm not like... bowling league good at it. But I mean, it'd give me something to do that wasn't just... cruising around for... Trouble, I guess," he chuckled. Jamie wasn't sure he'd actually ever do it, but thinking about it was fun.

"I don't know if I have a favorite sport. Like. I'd probably die if I had to play a contact sport. So, I dunno. Does running count as a sport?" he asked. "Does running count? I'm good at that," he chuckled. "I could run circles around this town and nobody could catch me."

One of the things Vale liked about Jamie was that he was never sure what the other man would say. As they walked through the store, Vale heard his response and paused for a moment and processed what he'd just heard before laughing, falling back into step beside Jamie. The deli counter in question happened to be close, and Vale looked and saw the guy standing there. "Yeah, I wouldn't say no either," he agreed, turned his head as he walked past so that he could keep his eyes on the man. Then Vale caught Jamie's eye, and he smirked because this was another man Vale wouldn't say no to.

The pair continued making their way through the store, Vale grabbing a few things here and there of his own, adding it to Jamie's basket. "I'll pay for those," he assured the other man. "And I'm kind of from here. My mom met my dad in this very grocery store, and I lived here for a little bit before we moved to Seattle. I've been back here and there to visit my brother and sister, but now I'm back...well, for now. I'm helping my brother out on the ranch." He grabbed a bottle of grape juice, putting it into the basket and eyeing the contents. He'd added a lot of things, so Vale asked, "Why don't you like me hold that for awhile?" They kept shopping, and Vale questioned, "What about you? What brings you to Cardinal Hill?"

Jamie had been ribbing him playfully, but he sensed the shift in Vale's demeanor when he talked about having gotten into an accident in the past and being careful since then. He was quiet for a moment and nodded. "Sorry to hear that. That sucks," he said, not pressing too hard into the matter. Maybe it was something hard to talk about, or maybe it wasn't. Jamie wasn't there to pry into the matters of someone he'd only just met.

When they hit the deli counter, Jamie smirked when he noticed Vale checking out the guy behind the counter after the comment he'd made. "Anyone with eyes would be hard pressed to pass him up, I think," he mused, moving past and continuing to grab the things he needed. It wasn't a lot, really. Mostly basics so he wouldn't starve to death at home. Bread, lunch meat, cheese. He was a quick shopper too, picking up everything without too much fuss.

It wasn't surprising to learn Vale was from Cardinal Hill. A lot of people Jamie knew were locals, or local-adjacent. "You're a rancher? You don't look like one, but then again you're the only rancher I've ever met, I think," he teased. Jamie always envisioned grizzled cowboys. When Vale asked to hold the basket, Jamie handed it over without fuss, glad that someone else wanted to hold it for him. "I could get used to this," he joked. Then the question was turned on him, on what brought him to this place.

"I kinda closed my eyes, threw a dart on a map, and it landed here," he said. "I wasn't happy where I was from. Decided to go make a life somewhere else." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't the whole truth either, but it wasn't something Jamie was ready to talk about to Vale, or anyone else for that matter. "I think I'm all set with this. You need anything else?" he asked, feeling like he was ready to head out.

"If you ice it, it'll be fine," Jamie replied. "I keep a bag of frozen peas for that." He wasn't a stranger to getting into fights. If he had a dime for every time he'd been underestimated, he'd have a lot of fucking dimes. He looked around and wondered what kind of people had been chasing him, if they were the same types Jamie'd had to deal with in the past. But ultimately nobody was coming, and both could take a breath for a moment. Jamie wasn't looking to get involved in someone else's pro lems today if he could help it. "I think I've seen you around before. I work at the gas station. What's your name?"

Lucky gladly took the praise in the form of the little 'thanks', considering himself responsible for saving the other's entire livelihood. Who knew someone could be so cocky when they'd just failed so hard? "Carabiner seems worth the investment; last thing you need is to lose your job just before summer. I always blow my pay checks almost instantly on all the fun stuff that goes on in the summertime." It was Lucky's favourite season by far.

"Shag carpets, hm? I bet you've seen a lot of design err... choices doing that. I went to a guy's house once that had shag bathroom carpetting. It was fucking awful," Jamie replied with a little laugh. "That's pretty cool, though. Do you make good money doing that?" It's had to be way better than working at a damn gas station, but Jamie didn't know the first thing about getting into that line of work. Or the time, considering his work hours. And honestly? He wasn't sure he had the motivation to try.

Floyd grinned when Jamie mentioned his love of crispy hashbrowns, like they’d just discovered common ground on something important. "Yes! Thank you. Crispy is crucial. If they come out soggy, I won’t say anything, but I’ll be silently mourning the whole meal," he said, amused. "I’ll have to ask for Cubs' next time I’m in. You sound like you’ve cracked the code."

When Jamie mentioned spaghetti, Floyd perked up a little more. "Okay, see, now that’s something I can help with if you're still trying to figure out a decent recipe. I’m pretty solid when it comes to spaghetti. I can't even count how many times I've been put in charge of the dish - it's one of the few things I can make from scratch without even thinking about it." He smiled, a little sheepish, but genuine. "If you ever want to cook it together sometime - no pressure, seriously, especially if you're juggling enough with your graveyard shifts - I’d be happy to show you how I do mine. It’s not anything fancy, but it hits the spot. Feels good to eat something you made yourself, you know? And you can make big batches and it can feed you for a whole week - that's my favourite part."

The topic of whether or not his family hovered all the time pulled a small breath from him, a gentler shift in mood. He scratched lightly at the side of his jaw before answering, not with discomfort exactly, but with a kind of quiet consideration. "They do a lot, yeah. But it’s not... on purpose. I don’t think they realise they’re doing it, half the time. They’re used to checking in, and I’m used to letting them." He glanced towards Jamie with a faint, apologetic smile. "I guess it’s a habit. One of those things I probably oughta unlearn, eventually. They mean well, though. Always have."

"I like being outside, there’s some good trails not far out, and I’ve always liked the peace of not many bodies being around." A scene that starkly contrasted most of his life. He paused for a beat as he thought about what else he did for fun, only to suddenly be hit with a pang of insecurity. "And here I am about to launch into how I really love making things - tinkering with machines, that type of handiwork - like that isn't just painting a picture of me being even stranger than I already made myself out to be with the dead animals and all..." All he could do was laugh at himself.

Jamie had never really met someone who would just invite him over to learn a spaghetti recipe. But then again, he'd never met a taxidermist who saved floundering idiots like himself from bad dates. So maybe there was a first time for everything. That, and Floyd was really cute, and he'd almost feel bad saying no. Besides, aside from making bad decisions, what else did he have going on in his life?

"Are you sure? I mean, I keep a weird schedule, but I--we-- could probably figure out a good time," he said with a little shrug. Making something he loved that would keep for a week sounded like a fast track to getting sick of having the same meal all week, but when it came to spaghetti and meatballs, it was different. "You really know how to get to a man's heart," he said jokingly, lacing his fingers together and smiling genuinely. "You think we could do meatballs too, or are you more of a vegetarian?"

Jamie didn't know what it was like to have family check in regularly, or anyone really, for that matter. "It's good that you have that, though. Not everyone's so lucky. It means you're loved. So take comfort in that. But also? If they do love you, they won't hate you if you ask for space every once in a while, probably. But what do I know?"

"Hey," Axel looks over at the bills, deciding to take them, not that he wouldn't let it slide, but he had his pride and he was sure Jamie would too, "I told you you don't have to worry about that, man, are you sure you not gonna need it? 'Cause we can wait a little longer, I mean, the Diner is doing pretty good" he shrugs a bit, "What about the asshole who bailed on you? Did you give them some... Words? That was kinda of a shitty move."

"Entitled old ladies are the worst," Jamie replied, making a face. God knew he had to deal with enough entitlement as a gas station cashier. When Axel assured him that there was no rush to pay him back, Jamie gave a little shrug. "I don't wanna be that guy who promises to pay you back and doesn't. I don't have a lot, but I at least want my word to mean something," he said. Jamie was a lot of things, and a liar was among that, but when he genuinely gave his word, especially to a friend, he meant it.

"Trust me, I gave him hell and he may or may not need a new front left tire," he added with a little smirk. "It wasn't serious enough to go after all four tires, though." He shrugged and his face grew a little more serious. "I've been through worse. That's not the first nor the last time someone bails on me. Story of my life, right?" He looked away from Axel and shrugged. "How's it going, aside from work shit? Keeping outta trouble yourself?"

"Thank you," Sabine replied to Jamie's forgiveness. It meant a lot to her that Jamie could even find it in him to forgive her for anything, even if it wasn't necessarily what she wanted to be forgiven for. She grinned when Jamie retracted his own apology, that was something else she missed with Jamie, smiling. She took another drag on the smoking stick between her fingers, "Well, I left Priscilla. Obviously." She shrugged, "I've been living in Cardinal Hill for like," she started realising too late that Jamie would most likely not enjoy hearing what she was going to say, "Five, six... years." She took another inhale, the taste different than what she is used to but incredibly familiar, the hug of an old friend. "I'm working at the hardware store." Tapping the ashes into the wind, hoping the embers won't find their way to a spilt drop of gasoline. Sabine figured that the day to day details of her life weren't what Jamie wanted to hear, but she didn't want to say anything else. Even though she thought that she should. That was pretty much her whole thought process with Jamie, she doesn't want to reach out, but she knows she should. "What happened to you anyway, after I, well... you know." It was something she always thought about, she knew Jamie before, and Jamie now, but nothing in between. She doesn't really know about anything in between those two time frames at all.

Jamie had always been a little chaotic in his life. The two had always been drawn to each other's energies like magnets, and there was a time when Jamie felt the two were unstoppable in whatever they'd set their minds to. But those days were gone, and now they were picking up the pieces and seeing if there was anything left to salvage. It was good knowing they could be honest with each other and they wouldn't just storm out on one another.

It was strange to hear of what had become of Sabine's life after the last time they spoke. He assumed from her earlier admission that there were heavy drugs and shitty times... but seemed to have traded it in for menthols now, dumped her shitty ex, they'd both been living in Cardinal Hill for about the same length of time, and she even had a job. He knew it wasn't a fairy tale exactly, but she was alive and here. Maybe it wasn't too late for them, then. He took a drag from his cigarette, not caring where the ashes blew. Part of his chaotic charm, maybe. "A hardware store, hm? How's that working out?" he asked curiously. But then Sabine asked about him, what had become of him after their rift. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked visibly uncomfortable, like he didn't want to talk about it. But fair was fair, an update for an update. Jamie took a deep breath, holding it for a moment as he gathered his thoughts, then exhaled slowly. "A lot of things happened. Things i haven't ever told anyone about-- that i CANT tell anyone about... But. Back then I'd tried reaching out before you kinda... dropped me. So I didn't get to tell you that I was kicked out of my dad's house. I didn't know what to do, so I stayed with some friends for a while that turned out to be... not friends. I couldn't stay there, so I lived out of my car for a year or so. You don't wanna know about how I got gas money. But... some shit happened one day," he began. Jamie stared off into the distance a bit as he spoke. His voice was quiet, gritty, and a little cold.

"One day I was targeted by some people. Guess they saw easy prey for what scraps I had. And... they tried to hurt me. They did, kind of. But... I did worse," he said, his voice dropping to a quiet whisper. If Sabine looked, she would see the hand holding his cigarette shaking a little, and one of his knees began to bounce nervously. "I got in the car, and drove as far north as I my car would take me. Ended up here. Been here about five years, got a job here with a fake home address, and managed to get a shitty apartment. Guess I figured I'd stay until I couldn't anymore." His gaze was still distant, like he was somewhere else for a moment. Like he was still running.

"I don't know what you're talking about, doc. I'm perfectly healthy. I eat an apple a day and all that," Jamie said jokingly, knowing full well he did not, in fact, eat an an apple a day. Or really ever if he was being honest with himself. Doctor Moore had been there every time Jamie had a panic about his health, and he was genuinely grateful for the man. He wasn't judgemental, and more of a paternal figure than even his own flesh and blood with the times he'd helped Jamie through a panic attack or a spiral. But he wasn't going to say that out loud. Probably not ever. That was a lot to attribute to someone.

"Bowling would be good for you. Something you could put together and meet like... once a week, or twice a week. Maybe reach out to your friends and do it for fun, not really for competition or anything unless you find a rival team." Jamie had to admit that he liked bowling, even if he didn't do it often himself with his graveyard shift at the gas station. When Julian told him about his basketball playing days. "You could put a hoop out over your garage and toss the ball in sometimes. Or go to the community center and play with other people. There's a lot to do around town. I try not to lock myself in the apartment after that one gnarly spiral I had a couple of years ago. I've been doing a lot better since, like genuinely. Just... staying active, I guess."