it’s 1:07 am. My official last appointment with my therapist of 5 years was last week, and I’ve done everything in my power to delay the grieving process. Today I crashed. I haven’t sobbed this much in over a year, maybe more. This woman has saved me from committing horrible things to myself. She knows every intricacy of my broken heart and now i can never reach out to her to speak to her again. I am absolutely beyond devastated. She knew how heartbroken I still am over my friends leaving me, my ex breaking my heart. I am so sick of being left. I am so sick of being unwanted and disposable and not chosen. I am in so much pain and anger and i don’t have anyone to talk to. i guess sleep will have to do. lets hope my breathing regulates at some point.