•••

His boyfriend is cruel, sexually. He locked Aaron’s cock in a chastity cage on their fourth date, and since then it hasn’t been free for more than a few hours at a time. It’s been six weeks since Aaron has been given an orgasm. Last night he was tied to the bed and edged for three hours, before having his cock iced down and relocked without relief.

Sometimes he jerks off on Aaron’s face and makes him wear it all day long while Aaron does the household chores. Sometimes Aaron gets texts at work ordering him to run to the bathroom and tease his own nipples for a few minutes, to remind him who’s in control, and who’s just a horny, denied chastity boy. Some nights Aaron gets his cock unlocked before being fucked senseless, without being allowed to touch his aching, desperate meat as it bounces pitifully in the air.

Other nights, Aaron’s boyfriend brings home other men and makes him watch as he fucks them, both enjoying a proper orgasm right in front of him, while he remains locked. Sometimes he treats Aaron to a nice restaurant dinner, and watches him squirm as the vibrating buttplug teases his prostate and causes precum to soak through his slacks. Sometimes he sets up a webcam and has strangers make requests of Aaron, which can rarely be refused unless it would result in personal harm, or a forbidden orgasm.

It seems his boyfriend’s defining joy is to find new and creative ways to humiliate, degrade, frustrate, tease, torture, and deny Aaron the simplest of sexual pleasures. And with every cruel act, Aaron falls more and more in love with him. He’s all he’s ever dreamed of in a man and more.

As Aaron watches him get ready for work, he mentally reviews his plan for the night. Surprising him with a romantic home-cooked meal when he gets back from work, taking him out to see the stars glisten over the lake, and finally getting down on one knee, asking him to be his forever. To spend their remaining years laughing, loving, and breaking every sexual boundary that the modern world tells them is deviant and wrong.

But.. on the other hand it is hot letting the other person decide when I cum. Why the fuck do I like this 🤯🔫

I think ultimately let me decide when I give you control over things and how long for. I’d want a stop button. An override command if you will. So that, if I couldn’t take it anymore, legitimately couldn’t take it, I at least know I’d always have a safety net. Or I could take a break and just have regular, uninhibited sex.

I think most of what I find hot in my head usually isn’t as good, or wouldn’t be as good if I actually lived it out. I feel like it’s not supposed to be actualised. And that of what I find hot in my head, I tend to only look at the positives and what I find hot about it.. not necessarily the whole picture. For example - chastity. I like the idea of being denied and frustrated and told to wait for an orgasm while my partner is able to get off whenever he chooses, ignoring my needs for him and actively working to pleasure him whilst my dick is ignored. However, the reality isn’t as great as it seems. It’s frustrating, and irritating. And it makes me feel like I need to suffer in silence. I don’t like having my sexual needs ignored entirely. I don’t like having to rely on someone for pleasure. I don’t like being needy or desperate if those feelings aren’t necessarily reciprocated in their respective ways, because then I feel vulnerable. I want to be in control as much as I want to submit. I want my pleasure to matter to them as much as theirs does to me.

Check out this AMAZING Chastity Letter from a Master to a Boy posted on metalbondnyc’s website. Fuck it makes me fill my cage more than the rest…. ( metalbondnyc is my hero)…

Find the link to this awesome website here: http://www.metalbondnyc.com/

“By Unknown

Rob:

You’ve long had a desire to explore Chastity, and although I’ve indulged you at times over the years, we’ve only played at the edges of your desires.  That, Boy, is about to change.

I’ve carefully thought through how best to make sure you have the opportunity to explore your desires and explore a period of Chastity while keeping in mind that your fantasy may be more than you’d bargain for.

I’ve also considered our schedules, lifestyle and your high need for sexual release and believe I’ve found the perfect solution to meet your desires.   This may not be what you’d choose if it were you making the decision, but the decision will not be yours.

I know you far better than you know yourself, and I understand that an exploration into your desires and fetish won’t work while we remain equal partners, so I’m making you my Chastity Boy.  Understand that Boys don’t have cocks (those are for men); Boys don’t have erections; Boys can’t be trusted to stand and pee (you will sit to urinate); Boys don’t have pubes;  Boys have chores with ramifications and/or punishment if they don’t perform them to my satisfaction; Boys don’t have orgasms.

I have no interest in your being a boy in any other area of our relationship, but until I decide otherwise, you will be a boy when it comes to your dick and exploring your chastity fantasy.

As my Chastity Boy:

You will be shaved from the neck down..   Chest, Ass, Crotch, Arms, Legs, Armpits will be completely smooth. You will shave yourself and present yourself for my inspection.

We will have sex one more time before you’re locked in the cock cage. Enjoy this sexual release, because it’s the last one I’m guaranteeing for awhile.

To ensure that this is a consensual agreement, you will beg and plead with me to lock up your cock as you’re approaching orgasm. You will beg me to take complete control of your cock and orgasms. You will beg me to make you my Chastity Boy.

Immediately upon achieving orgasm, the cock cage will be locked on your cock. I want it locked on while the last of your cum is dribbling out of your dick and before you even clean up.

The instant the lock snaps shut, you give up all control of your penis and orgasms to me. I will decide the next time you touch your penis as well as the next time you have an orgasm.

I demand the following as owner of your penis:

You will learn the benefits of chastity, the enjoyment of orgasm control and the pleasure of handing over all rights to your penis.

You will learn how to gain sexual fulfillment though bringing ME to orgasm and learn how your ass, mouth and other areas of your body can provide enjoyment despite not being able to cum.

You will not speak of your penis or your orgasms. The penis belongs to me, and you simply don’t have orgasms until I choose otherwise. When asked, you will respond with how MY penis is doing while locked in the cage.

You will learn to embrace your interest in chastity without complaint. You will not ask for release, or ask when you will be released.  You will not like what happens if you complain or beg.

Since there are times when wearing the cock cage will cause undue discomfort or not be appropriate, I will allow it to be removed in the following conditions: Doctor Visits, Social Situations, Travelling or other situations as I deem appropriate. Unless otherwise instructed, you will not touch yourself or seek sexual gratification when out of the cage.  On demand, you will put it back on and surrender the keys.

Your period of chastity will not impact my sexual needs. You will ensure that my sexual needs are met in any way that I choose. You will learn how satisfying it is to provide total pleasure to me without regard to your own sexual release.

Get used to this. I know you have a strong desire to be a chastised boy, but lack the initiative to do it on your own.

I very rarely make men get on their knees and beg. It seems very… cliche? I don’t know. In my experience, subs are really bad at begging, not because they don’t want to beg, but because they don’t know what I’m looking for. They don’t have any direction in how to beg or what for. Most people aren’t on-the-fly creative, and unless you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about begging, you run out of stuff to say really, really fast. 

Instead, I get a guy on his knees, or all 4s or whatever, and I’ll touch them  and tell them how much I appreciate their body, or their submission, or their willingness to please me. This has a number of advantages.

First, it calms the sub down. Particularly if I’m with a new sub, they’re in a new space, with a new man, in a situation where they have to be extremely vulnerable. Men will shake and get scared. There’s so much going on in their head, and as an alpha, I have to spend time emptying their head out, so they can focus on just one thing at a time. 

Second, it gives them an opportunity to listen to the language I want to hear. If I tell them what a good pup they are, how much I love their waxed cunt, how beautiful their beard is, then they know what kind of language to use. They know that I want to hear them tell me they love being my pussyboy and that their cunt is hungry. Bad interactions goes like this:

Dom: What are you?

Sub: I’m your slave, Sir

Dom: No, you’re my faggot. You’re a fucking faggot

Sub: Yes, Sir, I’m your faggot… apparently. 

Dom: Who’s your Master

Sub: You’re my Master, Sir. 

Dom, That’s right, faggot. Thank me for being your Master.

Sub: Thank you, Sir. 

Dom: No, kiss my feet to thank me. I don’t want to see you face.

Sub: Okay. I’ll do that then…….

Anyway. It gets old, having to keep correcting a sub. Why not just give them all the answers first? Work toward empowering your sub for pleasing you. Not punishing him for not succeeding at tests you didn’t prepare him for.

Third, It allows them to get close to me and feel a physical presence. So much of power exchange is physical exchange. There is an energy transfer when you’re in the presence of someone, and having the proximity to touch them and look at them and worship them freely is extremely powerful. Silence is powerful. There are times when I’ll have a gut in Position 1, and I’ll get down on one knee, and put my face very close to his and just look at him and touch him slowly and share his air. it’s amazing to be down with a sub, in his space, but still in control, rubbing your beard against his face and just letting your energy to connect. 

If you’re an alpha the most powerful thing you can do with your sub is to connect with him. And you can’t do that with showy begging and demands and corrections and complex protocols. You have to lay the foundation of connection first, then build the protocol and behavior modification on top of that. A sub has to KNOW YOU in order to serve you. If you act like an emotionless wall, you become unreadable and unservable. In order to let your sub be vulnerable, you have to be a little vulnerable as well. 

I also feel like a sub needs positive reinforcement. Someone who feels appreciated will always go above and beyond as opposed to someone who feels belittled and taken advantage of, at least that’s the case for me. The sub likes the appraisal, the approval.. so obviously he’s going to continue to seek that. And by simply encouraging him you’re going to have someone who wants to please you rather than someone who feels like they have no other option.

I’ve never been told to beg, but I don’t know if I could unless the necessary steps had been taken to prepare for it. Begging is extremely humiliating, at least it would be for me. I guess that’s the point? It would make me feel like I needed something, in a weird way. If someone rexpected me to know how to beg.. I’d freeze and panic and shut down. I don’t know what you want to hear, I don’t know what will turn you on. It would be quite stressful. And I’d just turn off. End of scene.

The example provided details what I wouldn’t want to happen. That’s one way to make things awkward.

“… They’re all pretty humiliating to be honest. I had never had my ass or mouth used with before this whole experience, and I am still getting used to it. At least in those settings, everyone there is a part of it.

That’s what makes the speedo sessions the most awkward I guess. I am quite shy typically, and the speedo in public settings like the beach and pool really leaves no place to hide, and I feel like I am constantly getting stares from the guys and the girls there. I am constantly wondering if people are noticing the cage or wondering about my bulge. My heart is basically racing constantly.

You wanna know how you know if you are doing D/s right? Are you and your partner happy? Is it working for you? Well looky there- #winning.

Doing it right doesn’t mean things don’t get hard. It doesn’t mean you don’t have bumps. It doesn’t mean you don’t have misunderstandings.

It means you work through it. It means you have trial and error. It means you choose each other every day.

And it’s judged by the smiles on your faces and the love in your heart. So if it works for you don’t let someone else tell you what’s right or wrong.

We’re on vacation. Intense hotel sex, yelling our heads off. The next room pounds on the wall, which sends him into overdrive. The world hears him cum.

He flips me over and starts stroking me like he means it. It feels odd being unrestrained. I ask permission to play with my nipples. Granted! I warn him I’m close. He says stop talking.

Still sweaty from the fuck, he grins as I get closer and closer. It’s been weeks. I’m so fucking excited to cum! It’s gonna be massive.

He reads me like a book. At the worst possible moment, he stops. Jerks my hands away from my nipples. Pins my wrists to the bed. Sits on my thighs so I can’t thrust. He’s so much stronger.

A single pathetic ribbon of cum dribbles out. As I writhe and shriek, I feel a blindingly powerful orgasm well up, then slowly slip away. It’s agonizing. Profoundly unfair. For a second, I hate his guts.

When it’s over, he releases me. I’m almost in tears. Never been hornier. Never more humiliated. He leans over, cups my face in his hands, and smiles like a sadist.

- You have decided to take a bath and they’ve come in to ask where the Whatsits are, before they leave you managed to pull them into the bath fully clothed and you end up laughing together in a heap

- Your s/o wants to cook tonight but you want to help, they tell you no and that you have to go sit on the sofa and get your favourite show up, later on they bring in your favourite food and you’re just lost for words!!

- getting groceries with your s/o and making puns with the cans of sweet peas and bags of sugar about how cute and sweet they are

- doing dishes together and flicking dish soap suds at each other and giggling

- dancing in the kitchen together while cleaning up !!

Tumblr is such a jerk sometimes :(

CD tells me thank you all the time. If I do something for him and he forges to say thank you it stands out to me because it’s that rare for him to not say it. 

We never sat down and discussed whether or not he would keep saying thank you once we started D/s. Like we just never considered that he wouldn’t?

Maybe some dynamics where the submissive really wants to feel inferior and/or used in an objectifying way, skipping over ‘thank you’ may play into those feelings the sub is after? But the general sense I get from subs I speak to is that their partners are generally warm and use typical signs of respect (like manners) When speaking to them despite being in a leadership position and having authority. 

So…I guess my feeling is…if ‘thank you’ is withheld in order to get a specific feeling like inferiority or being objectified or used, and it’s discussed and both people like it that way, that’s cool, whatever floats your boat kink-wise. 

But I think there are a lot of “doms” out there who think it’s “beneath them” to show gratitude or appreciation for their submissive or that it ‘takes away from their authority’ if they do that. And I think that is super weak, super not-dominant and just…bleck.

I think that would be like a boss saying they feel like their authority would be undermined if they thanked an employee or told them they did a great job or whatever. Of course that isn’t true. I think with jobs or D/s either one, if you thank the people who serve you it will make them feel appreciated which will increase the odds of them doing an even better job next time. 

Feel that.

Chastity is a consensual form of BDSM play. I lock up cocks because—guess what— the bottom wants to ignore their dick too. Lots of bottoms want to dissociate from their dick and focus more on their ass as their pleasure center.

I also like this behavior in a bottom and so, together, my partner and I decide that we’re going to participate in this consensual act.

My desire to be the focus during sex is absolutely in line with the alpha archetype. The bottom being used as an object for sexual pleasure is also in line with a sub archetype. I am not being dismissive of wants and needs by focusing on my own pleasure if that is what the bottom wants and needs in order to be fulfilled.

I also wouldn’t go as far as to say I enjoy being “an object for sexual pleasure”. I am not an object. I’m not here to be used. I’m human. I have wants, and needs.

I enjoy chastity largely because it’s what he likes. And I like making him happy. And sometimes I like being kept horny, it can make sex for me great. I like the unfairness of the fact that he cums and I don’t, as much as I’d like to cum more.. it’s still what turns me on. There are periods where I’m unlocked, and I can do whatever I want. There are times where I’m locked. I’ve realised that there’s no one right way to do things, and as long as you communicate things will work out.