you had made yourself comfortable in the green room of your city’s biggest broadcasting studio, your feet up on the leather sofa and a drink in hand that had been gifted to you by some of the staff.

on a small screen in the corner were your boys (boyfriends? friends with benefits? situationships? you weren’t sure). nothing was official but you had been hanging out with them pretty much every day since you’d met, and more than one of them had claimed you were ‘theirs’ so maybe you were together? who knows. who cares.

all you know is how you feel when you’re with them and it’s good; safe, wanted, and appreciated. you try not to think about what labels you should be putting on it, the situation is too odd to squeeze into a box.

they’re finishing up the show they were booked to feature on, performing their single in half seriousness. a few minutes ago the hosts had made them spin a wheel to find out what punishment they’d have to face for losing a game they played earlier, so now they’re all wearing animal onesies while they try to complete their choreography.

it was cute and the fans would love it, but you could feel the rage radiating through the screen from a couple of them.

you refresh twitter as you wait for them to finish up and say their thanks. you were right—the fans are going nuts.

you find yourself laughing out loud at some of the posts, the fans are so passionate it’s ridiculous. as their newly appointed social media manager you suppose it’s okay for you to stalk the fanbase as often as you do, but inside you know there’s more to it than just you helping the boys out.

you know them. you know them better than anyone else does, and you’re sure of that, but there’s something festering at the very back of your mind that tells you there’s something being kept from you; a piece of information that you and the fans aren’t aware of.

staying up to date with the fans thoughts and theories on the boys gives you a little comfort. they adore them so much and they wouldn’t if there was something bad going on; so obsessively checking the socials keeps you sane.

you’re very lucky to be in the position you’re in as well as being cursed with it; you’re sure most people would kill to have every move their partner makes be a live spectacle and to get 10,000 different opinions on it—it makes decision-making a lot easier.

on the other hand though, all 10,000 of those life advice councillors want to fuck your boyfriends. not so fun.

your scrolling time gets interrupted by a crowd of feet shuffling down the corridor towards the green room and the door swings open just in time for you to put your phone down.

jinu is first, followed by the rest of the boys who are following in single file—all slouched, and all sporting colourful oversized onesies.

your hand immediately flies to your mouth to stifle a giggle, your other one frantically reaching for your phone to take some behind the scenes photos for the fans, and yourself.

they all straighten up immediately at the sight of your camera and let you take a few photos before romance strides towards you and takes the phone out of your hands once he’s had enough.

“this is humiliating” he sighs, placing your phone on a table far enough away that you can’t reach it without getting up. jinu locks the door quietly before leaning against it and locking his gaze onto the carpet, defeated.

“well i thought you all did amazing.” you say, still trying to hold in your laughter. you couldn’t take their stress seriously when they looked like this; all cute and fluffy and disheveled.

romance shoots you a look like you’d just forsaken his bloodline, unicorn hood falling over his eyes and no doubt messing up his hair. you gesture for him to come towards you and start helping him out of the thing once he bends down to your level.

baby and mystery both look like they just need a nap, they’re talking amongst themselves about something while baby unzips himself from his onesie.

abby makes his way over to you and you throw an arm out in front of him before he can sit down.

“that thing is going to explode if you sit down in it and i don’t want us to owe the costume department any more money than we already do.” you say sternly, looking between him and jinu, expecting the latter to be the one worried about this. at this point they should just make you the manager manager.

abby only smirks at you, beginning to open his mouth for some smart-assed comment, no doubt.

“take it off” you say, fully prepared for the smugness that’ll come next from even uttering those words.

romance groans, reminding you that he’s bent over in front of you and you’ve gotten distracted. “sorry, love” you apologise, pulling his hair out of the outfit and tying it up loosely so that it’s far away from the zipper.

“take it off for me?” abby starts, winking at you. you look away from him the best you can while his huge frame is hovering so close to you.

“kind of preoccupied here, big boy, get in line.” you say, fiddling with the last of the zips and buttons on romance’s onesie. once it’s all done you pat him on the back gently, signalling for him to step out of it. he does so as mystery and baby make their way over to the sofa, mystery still donning his puppy onesie—he’s the only one that doesn’t seem bothered by it.

romance throws himself across you the moment he’s freed from his plush shackles, head laid across your lap like a sickly maiden. your hand finds his hair instinctively, brushing it out of the loose ponytail.

“hey, quit hogging her it’s my turn.” abby turns his attention to romance, still waiting for you to undress him for no reason other than to tease you.

romance doesn’t answer him, only turns around in your lap and buries his face into your stomach, trusting that you’ll be able to shut abby up—you always do.

you sigh and readjust carefully so that you’ll be able to reach over him without much hassle.

“okay come here” you say, reaching for abby. his face lights up and he gets as close to you as possible since you’re a bit trapped now.

“anyone else want help? line up” you say, half joking, half genuinely concerned for jinu now; he’s still just standing in the corner in his onsie, staring off. usually he’s straight into planning the next promotion, but he’s being weird today.

mystery places himself at your feet, curling his arms around your legs. he’s not making it any easier for you to deal with abby, but you don’t complain; he just wants to be close to you.

you unzip abby but quickly realise you can’t help him squeeze out of the suit since you’re now anchored to the sofa, but what’s new. those two are always glued to you.

he notices the helpless look in your eyes and defeatedly waddles over to jinu for some help. good, hopefully that snaps him out of it, you think.

“missed you” mystery mumbles, his face pressing against your leg. you ruffle his hair and push it away from his face; it’s a bit damp. they’re all sweaty after performing at the best of times but it must be like a sauna trying to dance in those things under the glaring spotlights in the studio.

you smile down at him, he’s definitely the clingiest of the boys. romance likes throwing himself at you whenever he can for the dramatics and because he likes you fussing over him, but mystery is a genuine cuddle bug through and through.

you feel his hand sliding up your trousers leg, as if he couldn’t get close enough to you. he would crawl inside your skin if he could, you’re sure.

baby’s sitting next to you now with romance’s legs laying over his lap. he’s watching something on his phone; volume blasting.

“how did you find it?” you ask him, reaching over to poke his shoulder. he glances up and you and just shrugs.

“what is with you guys?” you pout. all of them are acting like corpses; all mopey and exhausted. it’s out of character for them.

“you’re usually all bouncing off the walls after a promo.”

they all start looking around at each other, guilt hanging over their expressions. you look to jinu who’s finished wrangling abby out of his onesie and is now stepping out of his own.

he sighs.

“nothings wrong, we’re…just having to put extra effort into everything now—award season’s coming up, you know?” he says, but it seems like he’s leaving something out.

he pulls a chair over and sits across from your cuddle pile, legs crossed wide.

“you don’t have to rush! don’t overwork yourselves, i hate seeing you all like this, as nice as the quiet is for once. no one expects you to win all the awards, you’re only a couple months post debut. you have all the time in the world to succeed” you stress.

baby snickers beside you and you can tell it’s sarcastic. “no we don’t” he says, eyes still glued to his phone.

romance quickly raises his hand and slaps him on the arm, trying to shut him up.

you grow more and more confused as the conversation unfolds. what are they talking about and why are they keeping it from you? if you keep getting left in the dark like this you might scream—you’re supposed to be a team.

if they have their secrets, that’s fine, but you know it’ll only lead you down a paranoia spiral.

“i thought we weren’t supposed talk about it in front of y/n…” abby pipes up, looking just as confused as you. sometimes him being a little slow has its perks.

jinu looks like he could strangle them all. he’s pinching the bridge of his nose and you can see his shoulders rising and falling heavily.

“talk about what, jinu…” you ask quietly, looking around at all of them. the air is thick with tension, everyone knowing they’ve put their foot in it for real now. they’ve been able to skirt around the subject for months; some more okay with keeping the secret than others, but they’ve never been this close to cracking before.

mystery tightens his grip on your legs; fingers almost bruising. he and jinu are the ones most aversed to telling you until after everything’s over; they don’t want to risk you running away from them.

the silence continues as jinu desperately tries to think of what to tell you; what he can say now that’ll keep you satisfied for long enough. he only needs a little more time, just a week or so, and then he’ll tell you everything, he’ll have everything he wants then. including you.

“i can’t tell you” he says, head hung low in shame.

your chest immediately tightens, it feels like your lungs can’t expand enough, like something’s slowly, achingly, constricting your ribcage from the inside.

they’ve been your whole world for the past few months, you’ve put your whole life aside for them because you felt such a deep connection; something genuine and real, and now it feels like it’s all teetering on the edge of a cliff, like you’re about to hear a piece of information that’ll send it all hurtling over the edge.

you don’t even know what you would do if things ended badly with them. as much as you thought you were being chill about things, you absolutely were not; you had practically moved in with them and you left your job to come help them with their careers, as well as letting them be the basis of your whole self worth at the moment.

“why not,” you ask quietly. you have to ask; even if you’re not sure if you want to know the answer.

another pause.

no one moves, it feels like it’s only you and jinu in the room now, all eyes on both of you.

“you just have to trust me—us” he says desperately, knowing he’s all out of excuses.

you look around at your boys, all of them staring at you now. they’re all on edge, eagerly waiting for your response as if it’ll let them breathe again.

mystery’s grip on your calf is almost becoming unbearable, you can’t tell anymore if it’s because he wants you to stay or he wants to hurt you. ten minutes ago you never would’ve doubted that, but this mindfuck has you questioning everything.

“are you ditching me?” you ask quietly, voice wobbling a bit. best to just ask outright, you think. you don’t want to drag it out any longer if they’re planning on leaving you.

the look of shock on jinus face would be funny in any other situation, but now it just makes you even more confused. he shoots up out of his seat.

“no! no, no, no, not that,”

a chorus erupts around you, all frantically shouting variations of the same statement.

“never” “what? no” “of course not” “noooooo”

you blink.

they all lunge for you. romance is up and at your side in a second, arms wrapped around your waist tightly. abby perches on the arm of the sofa and wraps an arm around your neck, and jinu and baby both crouch in front of you, taking a hand each.

“we’re not going anywhere, silly girl” abby mumbles into your hair, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head.

“what do you mean then?” you’re still so lost.

“i promise we’ll tell you soon. all you need to know is that we need to win the idol awards. this year. after that we’ll tell you everything.” jinu explains the best he can, stroking his thumbs over the back of your hand, trying to affirm that he’s telling the truth.

baby looks to jinu briefly before nodding in agreement. he wanted to tell you as soon as possible—seeing it pointless to keep this from you. he knew he could win you over even if you did get scared and try to run from them, but not if they didn’t work as a team. they’d only gotten so far in all of the centuries they had known each other by doing things together, no matter how selfish the end goal was. so he agrees with jinu. you can wait.

you close your eyes for a moment, needing some time to get your head straight. if you trust them for just a little while longer and work your hardest to help them get that win, you’ll know what’s going on. if you don’t, you’re letting your paranoia get the better of you over what could be nothing, and risk losing these angels that were gifted to you.

you don’t have much choice.

“i trust you”

they all let out a collective sigh of relief.

“good” baby says, like he knew you would. he kisses your hand.

romance gives you a light squeeze, pulling you into him. “you can’t get away from us, angel”

you laugh, some part of you is still nervous about it all but if you know they’re going to be there with you, everything will be okay. you might just have to deal with them being grumpy every now and then.

“if you tried i would just catch you with these” abby jokes and you can feel him flexing his arm behind your head, looking smug again. his antics keep you sane a lot of the time, even though you roll your eyes at him, he’s like a breath of fresh air whenever you’re in your own head too much.

you laugh again, hitting him on the chest lightly. you know he’s joking. it would never come to that anyway for you to find out if he would drag you back kicking and screaming. you’re here for as long as they’ll have you. little do you know that’s a lot longer than your natural lifespan.

“i’m not going anywhere either” you say, smiling.

mystery makes a satisfied noise below you, hands still snaked around your legs, feeling your skin against his as if he’s never felt it before. he uses you as a fidget toy, you think; always reaching for you to occupy his restless hands with something.

“we know” baby says, fully confident. if there’s one person in the room that would hunt you down to get you back, it’s him. you’ve completely flipped his world upside down too; before he was stuck in a cycle of only living to appease gwi-ma. nothing else mattered to him, until you, and he’s not going to give that up for anything.

you all sit in pleasant silence for a moment, grateful for having each others trust, before jinu breaks it.

“let’s get ready for the next promotion then” he says, springing up from his seat.

romance groans dramatically, burying his face deeper into your clothes. you giggle.

the building was a decent size but the sheer energy of the fans was taking up a lot more space than the room was set up for. you’re pretty sure your feet got stomped on twice and your hair got yanked out of the style you’d put it in this morning amidst the chaos, as well as losing your friend in the crowd .

after around fifteen minutes of elbow-jabbing hell you managed to squeeze yourself through to your assigned seats only to find your friend already sitting there “jeez, that was insane” you laughed as you sat down, hoping your friend would joke back and make fun of the crazy people too.

she didn’t respond. her attention was glued to the empty table up front, her hands nervously playing with the lion keychain on her purse. your eyes widened a little in shock. you had never seen her like this; so wound up over celebrities that she’d only known of for a few days.

before you could tease her, the room erupted into crazed shrieks once again.

the saja boys had arrived. they walked out in a line, hair swooshing perfectly and jewellery swinging just like in all the ads. yeah, they were hot. you couldn’t deny that. but you live in the city, there’s hot people everywhere! you weren’t convinced to join the mass psychosis of the pride just yet.

the boys bowed and thanked everyone for coming before taking their seats and setting up for the signing. security started to choose people to line up, your friend being one of the first.

you could’ve sworn you saw the light leave her eyes for a second, shock overtaking her at the thought of being one of the first people to go see them up close. you put your hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“you’ve got this, go see them!” you smiled. as much as you thought she was overreacting, you knew she would beat herself up if she didn’t go up there. she nodded anxiously and let security guide her to the front.

you pulled out your phone and began recording her as she went along the line of idols, it was the least you could do for her after not being very enthusiastic about this whole thing.

once she finished chatting to the last member, she quickly skedaddled back to you and threw herself back down on the metal chair. the feet screeched across the floor a bit but no one noticed over the sound of her hyperventilating.

“oh my god, y/n……oh my god” she repeated, face in her hands.

you laughed nervously, worried that she would work herself up into a serious panic attack or something.

“mystery touched my hand…i can’t wash it ever again.” she choked out, showing you her very normal looking left hand.

“yeah…glad you enjoyed yourself” you said.

before you could show her the video you took, you felt a tap on your shoulder. a tall security guard stood over you in a defensive stance. he looked like he was expecting you to pounce on him.

“your turn”

your heart almost fell out of your chest, making you panic for a completely different reason. you couldn’t go up there, you weren’t sure you even remembered all of the members names. you weren’t a real fan, surely it wasn’t fair that you should meet a group you don’t even care about when there were thousands of people who would kill to be in your position right now.

“oh no thank you, i’m just here for emotional support. she can go again though!” you pointed towards your friend who was still cradling her hand like it had been blessed.

the security guard relaxed his muscles and stared at you as if you had just grown a second head.

“you don’t want to go? you need to go. it’s unfair if one fan gets double the time with saja boys. you have a ticket, you see them” he stated plainly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

you looked to your friend for a second and mouthed a ‘i tried’ before reluctantly getting up from your seat and joining the line to meet the saja boys.

it takes you far too long to realise you don’t have anything for them to sign other than a crumpled napkin that’s been living in your back pocket for god knows how long.

jinu

the first member at the table is jinu. you know his name since he’s the one speaking in most of the promos and ads you’ve seen. he’s still finishing up talking to the girl in front of you but once she moves away he locks his attention onto you.

you look away awkwardly and sit down opposite him, only looking back up once you’re settled in your seat.

“hi” you say quietly, not really sure what to say to him. you’ve been to fansigns before but you’ve known the groups well and had so much to say to them that you’ve never had to worry much about there being an awkward silence before. this was a first for you.

he sees that you’re looking around a lot, not saying much, and assumes that it’s nerves. that’s the case with everyone he’s seen today. and the day before that, and the day before that.

“hey, no need to be nervous, what’s your name?” he asks, tilting his head to the side to try and meet your gaze.

your head shoots up, oh no he thinks you’re having a total fangirl freak out. you need to let him know that you’re chill and that he doesn’t need to do the whole loving idol shtick for you. it’ll make this a lot less awkward for both of you.

“oh nonono im not nervous, i just don’t have anything to say to you really” you start, laughing awkwardly.

“my friend dragged me here, i don’t even know all your names if i’m honest, i’ve only seen you guys do some ads and stuff and i’ve heard the song but i’m not too crazy about it so don’t worry about doing the whole ‘i care about you so much i love my fans’ act. i’m chill, you’re just some guy to me” you smile, genuinely hoping that it’ll relieve some tension from the situation and he can get a five minute break from being an idol while he chats to you.

jinus face completely drops. he looks a little disgusted even. he definitely didn’t take any of that as friendly and genuine. if he lifted a hand and asked for guards to seize you, you wouldn’t be surprised. shit.

“oh” he says, dumbfounded.

you stare at each other, both completely shocked by each others reaction. before the silence starts to make you itchy.

“my names y/n…by the way…” you blurt out, realising that he did ask your name.

something changes in him and you see it. like he’s been switched back onto regular programming. your slight moment of awkwardness reminds him that he does have the upper hand here. you’re not totally disinterested if you’re at least trying to make him comfortable–he can win you over. he smiles sweetly, relaxing his eyebrows.

“nice to meet you, y/n. i’m jinu, the leader of saja boys” he gestures over to the rest of the boys along the table.

“i would give you a heads up and tell you the names of the rest before you speak to them, but i think this is pretty funny” he says, his smile turning a bit sinister now that he’s switched his tone to teasing.

your mouth drops open. what an asshole.

you reluctantly hand over your napkin for him to sign, and he shoots you a confused look before flattening it out the best he can and signing his name with a little ‘:P’ next to it.

you narrow your eyes at him as you move over to the next seat, sticking your tongue out at him in defiance.

not like you care about the stupid beautiful saja boys names anyway

(you absolutely do now)

abby

you step over to the next chair and place yourself on it. sitting across from you is the second saja boy on the line up, one of the pink haired ones.

“hi” you say, meeting his eyes.

he says hello as he shifts in his seat, stretching his arms out behind him. you had watched him pull this move every single time someone new sat down in front of him so you were prepared to be met with his muscles up close.

what you weren’t prepared for though was for his shirt to come untucked from his jeans in the process, the waistband of his boxers daring to peek out from behind them and the shadows of his v-line revealing themselves to you.

the force it takes for you to wrench your eyes back up to look at his face could hold back an army. looking away feels like a sin. but you succeed. he grins when he makes eye contact with you again.

“want a copy?” he asks, pointing a finger to his stomach.

you don’t answer, but your face does. eyebrows screwing together in confusion.

he takes that as a yes and rips off a fresh piece of paper from a notebook he has on hand before slapping it across his lower torso and creating a tracing of his abs.

you can feel yourself gawk. who on earth does that? he seems so pleased with himself when he hands you the paper, signed.

“i won’t charge you any extra” he winks at you.

you can’t help but feel a twinge of admiration. he’s looking at you like a labrador that’s super proud of the hole it just dug in the garden. he doesn’t seem like he has any thoughts in his head at all.

you kind of like that.

“thanks.” you smile.

mystery

you slide into the seat across from saja number three, who’s already waving at you with both hands.

“hello” you say, waving back at him.

he’s wearing a longsleeved shirt that has thumb holes, giving him permanent sweater paws. it’s cute.

you decide to comment on it since he seems shy and being the first to speak might make things a little less awkward.

“i like your shirt. i used to cut holes like that into my school uniforms.” you admit, smiling at the memory. although yours was the result of crappy d.i.y. and his definitely cost most than your months wages.

he nods excitedly before creating claw shapes with his hands so you can see better. maybe he just doesn’t speak at all?

you stare at him for a little bit before snapping out of it and sliding your napkin over to him for him to sign. he takes it from you and goes to reach for a pen, but there’s none on this part of the table.

you start searching too once you notice what he’s looking for, but there are none on the floor or in the pen pot that’s sitting right next to him.

he grabs your attention quickly by waving his hands around frantically before raising a single finger to his lips in a ‘shhh’ motion.

next to him abby is posing, muscles on display for the fan in front of him. he’s so busy checking himself out through the fans eyes to notice mystery stealing his whole pot of pens.

you share a mischievous giggle with mystery as he triumphantly signs his name.

they all seem pretty close, maybe they aren’t a perfectly manufactured cash grab group after all.

romance

by the time you reach the fourth member he is covered in a ridiculous amount of hair accessories, necklaces and bracelets that have been gifted to him by fans. you scoot over to the seat across from him and try to keep a straight face as he removes a pair of huge sparkly pink sunglasses that were given to him by the last person.

“ah there we go, i can see your sweet face properly now” he says casually, placing the glasses down on the table.

you almost gasp out loud, the image of him looking so silly completely wiped from your memory. god that was smooth.

he takes the napkin you’ve been getting signed straight out of your hand, letting his fingers brush the back of your hand briefly.

“what’s your name, love?” he asks slowly, with the confidence of someone that knows his face would send poets mad.

“y/n” you stutter out. you aren’t sure how to speak to this guy who’s flirting so heavily with you, even if you suspect that he’s definitely like this with everyone.

he nods, as if it’s obvious.

you watch him as he signs his and your name together in a heart with a little plus in the middle.

he doesn’t comment on the napkin, you’re not sure if he even notices. he’s looking at you as if you’re the only thing that matters in the world, his dopey, loved up gaze piercing through your soul.

you reach to take the napkin back and he takes your hand as you grab it, flipping your hand over and kissing the napkin on top of your open palm.

there’s a faint lip gloss kiss-mark on it now. you didn’t even notice he was wearing any. he looks as if he wakes up in the morning with perfectly shiny lips.

god y/n snap out of it.

you don’t know how long you were just staring at each other for but before you could keep track you were being ushered to move to the next seat.

it takes you another hour until you notice the phone number daintily written around the heart.

baby

you finally reach the last member of the group and notice that he looks super young. he’s definitely the scary rapper that your friend always talks about, you remember something about his ‘crazy duality’.

he had been watching you as you were talking to the other members, unbeknownst to you. its not often they come across people that don’t care much for them already so he’s interested in speaking to you.

“this your first time seeing us?” he asks. it wasn’t a question really. he knows the answer, he just wants to see what you’d say.

you’re taken aback a little by how deep his voice is compared to his youthful face and the way he is styled. the fluffy pastel jumper doesn’t exactly scream baritone.

“uh, yeah. didn’t know a thing about you guys until today actually” you laugh awkwardly, sliding him your napkin to sign.

he takes it from you and nods, signing his name with bejewelled fingers.

“are you a fan now?” he asks cheekily, looking up at you with sparkling eyes. you try not to pay attention to his dimples and the way his cheeks seem to puff up like dumplings when he smiles.

“ah, i’m not sure. i’m just here for my friend” you say, trying to sound as polite as possible even though your words aren’t the kindest.

he scans the crowd briefly before locking eyes with who he assumes you came here with. you look over your shoulder too, towards your friend. she has her phone in the air, recording. yeesh.

the cogs start to turn in his mind, if he cant make a fan out of you now he should at least give you something to watch over and over until you become one.

“aww you’re not a fan of baby saja?” he pouted, grabbing your hands and placing them on both of his cheeks. he keeps his hands on top of yours for a good few seconds, running his fingers over yours while he holds them there.

you stare, shocked. this level of fan service is crazy, you think. you won’t be surprised if security come in and wrestle you away from him right now. surely this isn’t allowed.

“i might be…” you trail off, struggling to find anything else to say when you’re holding his face in your hands so tenderly.

“good!” he chirps, letting your hands fall away from him. he slides your napkin back over to you and waves you off “thank you for coming !”

he knows you’ll be back.